12. Anders
Anders
C ara leaves me in the middle of the dance floor, dumbstruck, with a raging hard-on that’s difficult to hide.
We were having a good night. So, of course, I go and ruin it. I just had to remind her that it’s not real—even if I’m starting to want it to be. And if her actions this week are anything to go by, she wants it, too.
We’re getting too comfortable. Too involved. I’m trying to make sure I can do my job without distraction, but when my job is to be the distraction…well, Cara and I are walking a blurry line that I’m trying to keep solid.
But tonight, I was still planning on allowing myself to indulge in her once more—just one more time, before going cold turkey and keeping it strictly professional. I was trying to be playful—trying to get back into our routine of arguing back and forth until we end up ripping each other’s clothes off.
I saw it play out on her face—the moment I fucked it all up. Even if it was meant to be playful, she definitely didn’t take it that way. I finally force myself to move—to go after her—when a hand wraps around my bicep, anchoring me in place with more force than necessary.
“You’re awfully handsy with Carmela tonight, Detective.” Mick’s tone holds an edge of warning, like I’m entering dangerous waters, and he holds the key to the shark tank.
Thing is, sharks don’t scare me. Neither do cheating bastards who think they can treat women like possessions.
“I’m handsy with her every night, Mick. You saw to that.” I wink at him and plaster a smarmy smirk on my face before pulling my arm out of his grip.
He looks around to ensure no one is paying any attention to us, but after my own quick sweep of the room, I can see the only person even showing a shred of interest in our little exchange is Kate. “Go enjoy your anniversary party with your wife . Leave Carmela alone. You don’t need to worry, I’m taking good care of her.”
An angry vein pops on his forehead as his face grows red as a tomato. “Listen here–”
“No, you listen to me.” I lower my voice and step into him until we’re chest to chest. “I have a hunch that what’s going on has to do with you. You are the one putting her in danger. She deserves better than waiting on the sidelines until you want her company. I know it, you know it, and she fucking knows it.”
He has the audacity to mirror my smirk. “Yet, she still comes running whenever I call. I give her everything she needs, Brooks. Are you starting to think she needs you? Because let me tell you right now that Carmela won’t leave my side. She likes the comfort of her life too much.”
“Are you threatening to take it all away if she doesn’t do what you say?” I know Mick bought the club for Carmela, but he also mentioned he pays her. I wonder just how much of her life is because of his money. Her fancy suits. Her lavish apartment. Does he pay for it all?
The look he gives me makes me feel uneasy. It’s a knowing smile that tells me I’m missing something—a piece of their complicated puzzle I’m overlooking, and he knows it.
“I don’t have to threaten anything, Brooks. Carmela knows who she belongs to. If the way you two were acting tonight is indicative of what’s going on behind closed doors, just know that when this is all over, you’ll be going back to California, and she’ll still be mine.” He walks off, heading toward his wife, not giving me a chance to respond.
“Dick,” I mutter, heading to the exit.
It’s still early—barely eight. Carmela and I are supposed to be doing the show tonight, but the man at the front tells me she’s already left in a cab, so I grab my own and head to Désirer, silently cursing her for leaving by herself.
Carmela can’t be that far ahead of me, but her office is empty when I make it to the club, and her wings are still hanging up.
The doors to the Desires hall are open, the show already started, but the Grand Room is still busy—typical for a Saturday night. Blending in with the other penguin suits, I search for Carmela’s dress since none of her outfits were out of place in her office.
My heart rate picks up. A swell of anxiety rolls through my chest, even though I know Martin and Nikolai are somewhere in Désirer. As soon as I see her, the anxiety cannonballs into my stomach, splashing acid back up into my esophagus.
Carmela is pressed against Luca. Her hands are fisted in his hair while he holds her steady by the waist as he kisses her. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but my mouth is too dry. He looks at her adoringly when they part, skimming his knuckles along the skin of her cheek where her bruise is nothing but a faint yellow spot now .
Whatever they are saying, I can’t make it out. I can’t force myself to turn away when she grabs his hand and leads him into the hall. Can’t make myself follow them and do my fucking job because it feels like I’ve been sucker punched, and I can barely breathe.
It’s better this way.
I know it is. Better for her to turn to him and for me to see it happen. It makes it easier to erect a barrier around the feelings that keep trying to creep past my ivory bones and into my heart.
Carmela is just a job. One I feel like I’m failing at as it is.
So why does it feel like I just caught a girlfriend cheating on me?
Jace sets a whiskey in front of me without a word as I sit at the bar. His pitying look is enough to tell me he saw me witness Carmela and Luca disappearing into the dark. Almost all the employees have experienced Carmela and me going at each other verbally or physically over the last few weeks.
Apparently, everyone thinks it’s more than it really is. A tall, athletically built, brunette beauty in a pair of platinum wings approaches me and lays a hand on my back. “You know, there’s plenty of us who can give you what you want. Madame might pick a new toy every now and then, but she always goes back to Luca.”
Her words do nothing to comfort me. “I’m not interested.” My mind drifts to when Carmela told me she hasn’t been with Luca or Mick in a while. I remember how her face looked when she told me it’s only been me recently—the pride I felt with her words.
The possessiveness.
But Mick is right.
When this is all over, I’ll be going back to California. And Carmela will still be here, ping-ponging between the two men whenever she feels like it. I’m just a passing blip in her life that she won’t even remember this time next year.
Someone steps up to my left again, pulling my attention from the depths of my tumbler. Surprisingly, it’s Carmela. She looks nervous, picking at her nails and staring at my glass with a faraway look in her eyes. Her mask is delicate tonight, not as elaborate as her usual ones, as though she grabbed it quickly from the ones meant for the clients.
“That was quick.” I let out a snort and slam the rest of my drink back, sucking air through my teeth as it burns my throat on the way down. “Luca blow his load the second he saw you naked?”
I motion to Jace for another and glance back at the woman I’m trying desperately not to want. She shakes her head like she’s in a daze, slowly sliding onto the stool next to me. “Nothing happened,” she says like she can’t believe it. Her eyes snap to mine, the deep brown orbs filled with genuine curiosity. “I couldn’t go through with it.”
The way relief floods my system might as well be the final nail in my coffin. I can keep denying it all I want, but deep down, I’m such a fucking goner for this woman. “Why not?”
She opens her mouth to reply before shutting it again. A look of disbelief pulls at her beautiful features, stretching her lips into a grin as she shakes her head. Her gaze finds mine again, shining with undiluted acceptance. Like she’s finally coming to terms with what we’re both trying to deny.
A moment of understanding passes between us, but I want to hear her say it. The tension stretches like a rubber band, growing thicker with each second that ticks by. My entire body is hyper-aware of her entire existence as she slides from her stool and walks to my side. Her nipples harden into peaks as her breasts strain against the fabric of her dress with each excited breath.
“Because he’s not you,” she finally admits. She doesn’t step back as I slide from my stool, continuing animatedly. “And I don’t fucking get it because you’ve made it pretty fucking clear you don’t like me.”
“I never said I didn’t like you,” I interrupt, reaching for her waist. “I said I don’t fuck prostitutes.”
“And you’ve made it pretty damn clear that’s what you think I am,” she parries as her hands settle on my biceps.
“And you’ve made it clear this isn’t that sort of establishment,” I tell her quietly, bending my head to speak into her ear.
Her sharp intake of breath is in sync with her fingers clenching around my arms. My dick grows behind my pants, but what I have in mind for Cara isn’t for me tonight.
Not physically, anyway.
“You couldn’t fuck him because he doesn’t make you feel the way I do. Isn’t that right, baby girl?” I press our foreheads together, fingers skimming up her side to cup her breast.
I don’t care who watches us anymore. In fact, I fully intend to draw in a large audience tonight. Carmela likes it when people watch, and I like knowing that I have complete power over her orgasms.
Pinching her nipple earns me a soft cry as her head falls back. “I asked you a question, Madame .”
With her head still tilted back, she smirks at the ceiling. Reaching up, I grab her other hand and slide it down until it’s resting on my erection. “Yes,” she whispers, squeezing me hard through my pants as she runs her palm along my length. “I hate that my body only wants you.”
I fucking hate it, too, baby girl. I hate that you’re all I can fucking think about lately .
“And we’re going to show everyone tonight what only I can make your body do, aren’t we?” When she doesn’t answer right away, I pinch her nipple harder and make her squeeze me tighter.
Our entire dynamic has always been push and pull—a battle of wills—a fight for dominance. Tonight is different. Tonight, Carmela melts into me like a kitten starved for affection instead of the hellcat I’ve come to lov?—
No. What the fuck?
That line of thinking should be enough to snap me out of whatever spell I’m trapped in. I don’t want to retreat, though. I want to make Carmela as messy as she’s made the inside of my chest.
And I want everyone to fucking see it.
Her only answer is a nod as she presses up on her tiptoes to kiss me. I allow it, briefly sliding my tongue against hers, before fisting her hair and pulling her back. I don’t let go, marching her through the Grand Room to the Desires hall.
We pass Luca, who is watching us with astonishment and unveiled hatred. We pass a couple who are fucking each other while performing oral on others, a shibari show, and a full-blown orgy. And since Carmela is without her wings, everybody just thinks we’re another couple enjoying the evening like everyone else.
It’s a good thing she’s not recognizable tonight. But I’m still not going to take any chances. The far wall at the end of the hall is lined with rooms where couples can go in and open the curtains to put on a show without stressing about anyone trying to join them. They are private enough that I won’t have to worry about her safety and can fully focus on taking her pleasure for everyone to see.
I pull her into a room, slamming the door behind me before pushing her against it to steal the breath from her lungs. My kiss is punishing, but Carmela takes it with equal passion, clawing at my suit jacket to remove it. Our lips don’t part as she undoes my tie and the buttons of my shirt, pulling them off next.
Gripping the top of her dress, I pull it down until her tits spring free, lowering to suck her nipples. “Anders…” she says my name with a needy whine. Her pussy is probably soaked. Ready to take anything I’m willing to give it.
“Get on the edge of the bed,” I command, letting go of her nipple with an audible pop and crossing the room to open the curtains and turn on the speaker system. When I turn toward the dresser full of toys, I notice she’s trying to shimmy out of her dress. “Leave it!” I fully plan on ripping it off her.
I grab what I need from the dresser and turn back to see her eyes widen at the handcuffs I hold up as I walk to her. “What are those for?” she asks, voice thick with desire.
“To make sure you don’t try to take control, baby girl. Tonight, you’re at my mercy.” Quickly, I grab her hands and secure them behind her back, maneuvering us so fast she doesn’t have time to react.
I get on the bed, kneeling behind her, pulling at the cuffs until she’s all the way on the mattress. The sound of fabric ripping fills the air as I grab her dress on either side of its ridiculously scandalous slit and pull it apart even further until the whole thing is a mess of satin pooled at her waist and gathered around her hips.
She lets out a squeal of surprise when I spread her legs, ripping her flimsy thong clear off and baring her naked pussy to the window where people are beginning to gather. A man is stroking himself through his pants, and another has a female doing it for him while they watch us.
“By the time I’m done with you tonight, you’re going to be a goddamn mess,” I whisper my promise into her ear, reaching around to palm both her tits.
Carmela’s hips thrust against the air, her pussy leaking her arousal onto the sheets. “Fuck, I need you to touch me,” she moans, throwing her head back on my shoulder. Her hands twist in the cuffs as she tries to rub against me, but I pull back just out of her reach.
“I am touching you.” I pinch her nipple again, sinking my teeth into the flesh of her neck. Her skin is smooth and smells faintly of cocoa butter as my hand slides down her stomach. The lips of her pussy are silky as I sink two fingers into her, curling them to hit her G-spot while I rub her clit with my thumb.
“Oh God,” she lets out another moan, trying to ride my hand.
“That’s right, baby. I’m your God tonight.” I lick up the column of her throat, twisting her face to devour her mouth.
I’m lazy in my ministrations. Slowly working her to orgasm. Pumping my fingers leisurely while I swirl around her clit. She comes around my fingers with a silent cry, slumping back against me.
I’m far from finished with her, though.
Pulling my fingers out of her, I press them to her clit again, swiping them back and forth over her sensitive flesh quicker than before. Carmela tries to close her legs as her body involuntarily jerks from the aftermath of her release, but I kick my legs out from underneath me, twining them over the top of hers and hooking our ankles together so I can keep her spread open.
“Look at them watching you, baby girl. Look at them, wishing they were in my place. Wishing it was them making you feel this way.” I’m vaguely aware that Luca has joined the crowd, but I couldn’t fucking care less. Let him see who has taken his place. “Open your fucking eyes and look.”
She whimpers but does as I instruct, thighs quivering as I move my fingers even faster. “Fuck, I’m going to come again. ”
Her fingers graze my dick, rubbing the tip before I angle my hips away from her greedy hands. “You don’t get to feel my cock inside you tonight.”
She comes again with a hoarse moan, trying to scramble back and away from my fingers. This time I use all four to scoop her release and smear it all over her pussy and the insides of her thighs, relishing in her shuddered breaths. Once I’m satisfied with the picture I’ve painted for the crowd, I lift my hand to her mouth. “Suck them clean.”
I hook my thumb beneath her jaw while she’s licking at my fingers, pulling her face to the side so I can watch her. “Look at you. So fucking messy. So fucking beautiful. I can’t wait for the next time I have you on your knees with my cock in your mouth. I’m going to make you choke on it. I want to see my cum spilling out of these luscious lips to cover your tits.”
Her hips rise off the bed, and I let her mouth go, slapping her pussy with my wet fingers in rapid succession. “I want you to fuck me.” She presses her head back on my shoulder as she tries to ride my hand.
“No, baby girl. I told you, you don’t get my cock tonight.” I start to rub her again, rougher and faster than the last time.
“I can’t come again like this! Please! It’s too sensitive! Why won’t you fuck me?” she begs. It’s like a fucking symphony to my ears.
“Because you’ve been bad tonight and don’t deserve it. You deserve to be made into a sloppy mess for everyone to see.”
One of her legs kicks out and bends, unlocking our ankles to press against her other leg, turning us halfway on our sides. I don’t relent and keep rubbing at her clit even though she’s trapped my hand between her thighs.
Carmela twists and turns, trying to break out of my hold while simultaneously thrusting her hips against me for more friction. Her tits bounce as we wrestle each other for control. I’m so fucking hard I might throw my plan to the wind and fuck her if she keeps this up.
She comes with a long squeal, begging, “No more. I can’t do it again. Please, no more.”
The zipper of her dress is loud as I yank it down, tearing the rest of her dress from her body and flinging it to the floor. She’s completely naked and bare for the entire crowd to see, lying on her side as she breathes heavily. A thin sheen of sweat slicks her skin, matting her hair around her face, and knowing I’m the one that made her that way fills me with pride.
Tonight was supposed to only be about her, but I can’t help but want to claim her with my cock. I want everyone watching to know every part of her belongs to every part of me.
I leave her on the bed, standing to unzip my pants and pull my cock out, giving it a few painful tugs before grabbing her by the handcuffs and rearranging them so that her hands are bound above her head.
I pull until her upper half is nearly hanging off the edge before crawling back on the bed where I straddle her, making sure that everyone can see my cock as it slides through her pussy lips like that night in her office. “You may not deserve to feel me inside you, but you’re still gonna make me feel good, aren’t you?”
She struggles beneath me until her hands find the ground, and she braces herself. “Just fuck me already!” she snarls.
Gone is the kitten. My little hellcat is back.
“I don’t think I will.” I thrust forward, the tip of my cock hitting her clit. Her body jerks underneath me, surely over-sensitized and ready to be stuffed. I can feel her clench as she tries to move her hips just enough so I’ll slip into her.
I’m trying to burn the image of my length sliding against her silky skin, her lips so pink and wet as they part around my girth. I can hear her breath hitching, her little moans every time she thinks she’s captured me. The little sighs of defeat when she realizes she hasn’t.
“Fuck, it was like your pussy was made for my cock.” I say the words without thinking. They are full of ownership—possessive and feral and real .
“Then let me feel all of you.” She sounds so sweet, but I know she’s just trying to get her way.
Leaning forward, I push more of my weight on her, enjoying her cries of pleasure. “You’re gonna give me one more.”
Her head thrashes from side to side, hips moving erratically underneath me, chest rising and falling rapidly as it hangs off the bed. “Tell me you want me,” she whispers.
“I think you know how bad I fucking want you. I’ve never wanted anyone as bad as I want you. You’re like a drug I can’t quit. One that’s never going to leave my system.” I kiss her sternum, right between her heaving breasts, before picking up my pace.
I don’t wait for her to come before I’m shooting my cum all over her. The long, thick ropes paint her upper stomach and tangle over her nipples. A stream makes it past her chest and coats her cheek as she lifts her head to watch with wide eyes as I debase her body.
Whether she got off again or not, I don’t know. I don’t enjoy the aftermath of my climax, instead getting up to pull her onto the bed and release her from the cuffs. She stares at me as I lean over her, gently wiping my cum off her face to smear it over her lips. “Did you mean it?” she asks against my fingers before licking them.
Slowly, I nod. “Yeah, I meant it.”