19. Carmela
Carmela
N early a week goes by without another letter, a dead body, or an unexpected visit from Mick. Things almost seem… normal …for once in my overly complicated life.
Anders and Maya behave as though they’ve known each other forever. Our routine slips into this systematic cycle of checking in at the restaurant, overseeing the shows at the club, and going home to Jersey—where my boyfriend gives my daughter cooking lessons before we retire to the den to play a game or watch a movie.
After we deep clean the sofa at Maya’s insistence because “ Eww, you guys had sex on the sofa, didn’t you?”
Jill is enjoying an all-expenses-paid vacation for the first time in years, much to Anders’ annoyance because a threat still hangs over my head. However, Maya is excited that she’s being treated like a little adult and allowed to be alone for a few hours.
Except today. Lenni is on her way out there now to pick her up from school since Anders and I will be in the city late tonight.
An abrupt knock on my office door stirs me from my thoughts. I know Martin and Nikolai are somewhere in the restaurant, keeping watch, so whoever is there must be on the preapproved list of people allowed down the hall where my office resides. “Come in.”
My stomach flips when Mick’s face appears. He looks culpable and is silent as he closes the door behind him with a soft click. “We need to talk.”
Removing my glasses, I sit back in my chair and motion for him to sit. “What is it now?” I sigh.
He moves to the minibar in the corner and pours himself a drink. “I realize I overreacted last weekend,” he says with his back to me.
Letting out a very unladylike snort, I reply, “You think?”
His shoulders tense, body stiff as he moves to sit. “I’ve been thinking a lot this week, actually.” He sips his bourbon, eyes incalculable as he struggles with what to say next. “I ended things with Kate last night.”
A bomb explodes beneath my rib cage, the shrapnel cutting my insides to pieces. I can’t breathe. Can’t speak. I can’t even move .
Mick’s jadeite orbs lift from the desk to mine, the barest hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. “I’m sorry it took so long, tiny dancer.”
The admission breaks the dam holding back the tears that line my eyes. It’s everything I’ve wanted to hear for years. Everything I’ve dreamed of so many sleepless nights.
Yet, my mind immediately thinks of Anders, my rough and unrefined detective, who is currently on his way to fetch me a bagel sandwich from my favorite shop ten blocks away—just because I mentioned I was craving one.
Mick sets his drink on the smooth surface of the imported Italian walnut. He reaches over to wipe a stray tear off my face and the contact of his skin on mine causes me to pull back suddenly. “Say something, Mellie.”
“No…” I hear myself whisper.
His brows furrow, lips turning down as he leans back in his chair. “No?”
“Mick, it’s…it’s too late.” Angrily, I wipe the tears as they fall, biting the inside of my cheek to stop them. “Why would you do this? Why now?”
“Because it’s been long overdue–”
“No! No, you don’t get to do that! You just threw a party to celebrate your anniversary! You’ve shown no intention of leaving her, Mick. I know you. You would have at least talked to me about it. So why now ? ”
“Mellie…”
“Are you really that threatened by him?” My voice rises angrily. “I finally choose to be happy, and you can’t stand that it’s with another man, can you?”
“I think we both know that isn’t going to last, Carmela,” he states flatly. “But if you need to hear me say it, then yes, I hated walking into the house I bought to see you wrapped around another man.”
“You didn’t care this much when it was Luca.”
“You don’t look at Luca like you look at Brooks!” he cries, voice cracking on Anders’ surname. “You used to look at me that way, Mellie. That’s how I knew I was losing you. And I can’t. Lose. You.”
“Why? What does it matter anymore?” I shrug. “You haven’t had me in a long time. Not really. Sure, we sleep together occasionally, but you haven’t truly had me for years, Mick. Why can’t you let me be happy?”
“Do you think you’ll be happy when Brooks has to go back to California? Have you two spoken about that? Because if you think you’re moving to the other side of the country with my daughter, you’re mistaken.” All the loving emotion drains from his face, replaced quickly by rage.
It’s a reminder that he doesn’t really love me. He just wants to control me.
Before I can answer, my phone rings. Glancing down, I see Lenni’s face on my screen. I hit the big red reject button. She’s probably just letting me know she got Maya.
“Do I need to remind you again that your name isn’t on her birth certificate?”
“All it takes is a simple DNA test, Mellie. Whether I gave up my rights or not, I’ll fight you for custody,” he sneers.
“I hate you!” I snarl. “You cannot control me, Mick!”
The phone goes off. It’s Lenni again.
That’s unusual.
Picking it up, I take the call. “Hey, everything okay?”
“No. It’s not.” Lenni’s frantic, igniting every nerve in my body with panic. My eyes snap to Mick’s questioning ones. “The school said Maya has already been picked up. Someone said they saw her talking to a guy, and she got into a blacked-out sedan with him.”
Bolting upright, I grab my jacket from the back of my chair and yank it on. “What do you mean she got into a car with a man? Did they pull up the security footage?”
“Are you talking about Maya?” Mick asks, voice laced with alarm. He gets up and grabs my purse. “My car is out front.”
“I asked them to, but they said it’s currently down for maintenance. They’re freaked out. I’m freaked out. What do I do, Cara?” Lenni sounds like she’s on the verge of tears, and I know this hits home for her.
“Ask around and see if anyone saw anything or maybe got a license plate number. Mick and I are on the way.” Mick is already on his phone calling the police station to report her missing. Usually, the cops wouldn’t take this kind of thing seriously until the kid was missing for longer, making me thankful for Mick’s influence.
“Okay. Let me know when you’re at the house.” Lenni hangs up as we leave Decadence.
Anders is walking up just as Mick opens the car door for me. “Whoa. Hey, what’s going on?”
“Maya got picked up from school by a random man,” I inform him as I pull up her cell number. “Come on.”
Anders starts asking Mick questions as he slides into the car behind me. Maya’s phone doesn’t even ring before her disgruntled teenage voice comes over the line, informing the caller to leave a message and that, if she feels like it, she’ll call back.
I don’t realize I’m shaking until Anders wraps his arms around me and kisses my temple. “It’ll be okay, Cara. We’ve got guys on it. We’ll find her.”
Across from us, Mick stares at his phone as his fingers fly over the screen. “A squad car is headed to the house, and a team is working on pulling footage from the surrounding buildings to try to catch the car on camera. ”
Our eyes meet across the backseat, sharing the type of panic only a parent can feel at a moment like this. Mick might not be involved in her life, but he’s still Maya’s father.
If she knew, would she want to get to know him?
Would she stop hating him so much?
Has she already figured it out, and that’s why she dislikes him?
Is she acting out? Is that why she got into the car with a strange man?
Question after question fires through my brain as we get closer to Jersey. And I swear to God that as soon as my little girl is safe in my arms again, I’m never letting her go.
Even if that means I have to come clean about who her father is.
I’m numb.
The worry, anxiety, and pure fear of not knowing where my child is has gone into hibernation as a cold and calm sense of absolute nothing washes over me.
No one can find her.
Her phone is still turned off.
We pinged the last known location, which was her school—so that was no help.
Mick is on the phone, threatening to have the administration staff fired or to sue the board—I’ve lost track at this point.
“With the way he’s carrying on, everyone is going to be suspicious that he’s her father,” Lenni whispers as she sits beside me and hands me a mug of tea.
I take it, but don’t drink the lemon and lavender-scented liquid. Instead, I stare dazedly down at the bits of purple flower floating at the top, wondering how I got here —with a secret child and a situationship with a high-power politician.
My gaze wanders to Anders, who is standing over a table, pouring over a map of the city with a few Jersey officers. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but he’s pointing and marking the map as he speaks, and they take his directive seriously.
When they asked who he was in relationship to the minor earlier, he didn’t hesitate to say her stepfather, knowing the familial tie would mean they’d work harder to find a cop’s kid. The heavy weight of his answer presses down on the box I feel I’m locked in.
Four walls of steel with no way out, and two other occupants that want to tear each other apart.
And somewhere on the outside is my little girl.
Is she scared? Has she been harmed?
Mick comes to stand in front of me, white-knuckling his phone, irritation splashed across his face. “I can’t believe none of them saw anything. And why the fuck are they doing camera maintenance during the day? I ought to sue their ass for negligence.”
“I don’t think that’s helping, Mick,” Lenni snaps.
None of this is helping.
The sun has started to set, night chasing away the glowing light, and with every passing hour, my hope that Maya will be found. Officers are packed into my house when they should be out looking for my daughter.
For some reason, all three squad cars that are on my property have their lights lit up like they’re doing a drug bust, and my home has a meth lab in it. Like I’ve done something wrong.
“Stay out of it, Valentina,” Mick bites back.
“Watch your tone when you speak to my wife, Mick,” Lenni’s husband, Tripp, warns from where he stands next to the sofa. There’s literally no reason for him to be here, but Lenni refuses to leave my side, and he refuses to be parted from her for long. I have to give Tripp props, though. He’s already gone out twice with Anders to look for Maya.
Mick hasn’t left the house once.
His phone lights up in his hand, and a picture of Kate fills the screen. “You should get that.” I nod to it.
He looks at me in confusion before following my eyes to the phone. His lips turn down as he frowns at it. “I can’t worry about that right now.”
Anders steps up beside him, offering me a hand to help me up. “Do you want to go out with me this time, or do you still want to stay here?”
I'm about to answer when, all of a sudden, there’s a flurry of commotion. I hear yelling, and everyone’s radios crackle simultaneously. “We got the girl! I repeat, the girl is home and unharmed!”
Flying from my seat, I rush through the house to the front door, where Maya is walking in with an officer, wide-eyed and shocked. “Mom? What’s going on?”
“She just walked on up, ma’am. Says she was dropped off a block away,” the officer explains.
A sob escapes my throat as I pull her into my arms, shaking us both as all the adrenaline leaves my body, the intensity of how scared I’ve been hitting me all at once. “Are you okay? Where have you been, Maya? What happened?”
She grips me back just as hard, tears leaking from her eyes, though I suspect it’s in reaction to me. “What do you mean? We just went and grabbed food before he brought me home.”
“He? Who is he?” Mick presses from behind me.
I pull back to see Maya glaring at him. Her eyes flit to Anders, where embarrassment smothers her hostile look. “The guy you sent to pick me up today.”
We all look at Anders as his face morphs into shock. “That I sent? Maya, I didn’t send anyone to pick you up.”
Goosebumps break out over the skin on Maya’s arms. She shakes her head in puzzlement, looking back and forth between him and me. “He said he was a friend of you and Mom.” She looks at Lenni. “He said you couldn’t make it, so he was supposed to get me home.”
The shock takes over as she begins to shake, fingers digging into my arms where we’re still holding onto each other. “He knew all of your names. He knew Aunt Lenni was picking me up. I just thought…” The severity of the situation settles over her as she stares at me with wide, teary eyes. “Who was he, Mom?”
Ignoring her, I ask, “I’ve been calling you all night. Where is your phone? Why was it going to voicemail?”
“It died during last period. I asked the guy if he had a charger, but he didn’t.” Maya keeps looking around at everyone who’s staring at her, shoulders hunching in with every passing moment.
“Can you describe him to us, Maya? Did he tell you his name?” Anders asks her.
She shakes her head. “He never said his name. He didn’t really talk much until we got to the restaurant. Then he just asked me about school and what I was into. He asked how long you’ve been dating my mom. And if she’d brought anyone else home lately.” Her cheeks flush as her eyes dart back to me before settling on the floor. “I thought it was kind of weird that he was so interested in Mom, and when I asked why he wanted to know so much about her, he stopped asking questions.”
I look over my shoulder at Anders, concern drawing my eyebrows together. His profile matches my apprehension. “Alright.” He turns and motions to the officers. “Everyone who doesn’t need to be here, out. Thank you all for your help. Get home safe.”
The next hour passes in a blur. Maya describes the man to a sketch artist while Anders calls the noodle shop where she was brought to see if they have cameras. None of the men we show her pictures of are familiar to her. She doesn’t recognize Vinny or Luca. We even show her pictures of Martin and Nikolai, but she says no to all of them.
Lenni and Tripp go home after a lot of hugs and promises to keep my friend in the loop—to the detriment of her guard dog of a husband.
Soon, it’s just us four.
Exhaustion settles in my bones, and I feel like crying into a bottle of red while I watch Maya sleep…creepy as that sounds.
“Maya, why don’t you go on upstairs. I’ll be up in a minute,” I tell her, fully prepared to fight both Mick and Anders on them leaving us alone for the night.
“I don’t really want to be–”
“Maya, go to your room now ,” Mick snaps. It was bound to happen sooner or later. He’s lost his cool multiple times tonight when Maya couldn’t recall something he deemed simple enough to remember.
Anders looks like he’s about to hit Mick in the face. As I open my mouth to diffuse the bomb that’s about to go off, Maya shoves her stool back from the kitchen island, the loud screech of it against the floor reverberating through the room. “You’re not my dad! Why are you even here?” she screams at him as she starts to cry.
Seeing her tears makes my waterworks start all over again. Mick looks like she sucker-punched him. Anders’ head bounces back and forth between us before he finally walks over to her and pulls her into his arms. “You’re okay, little one. Come on, betcha got homework to do, don’t you?”
She sniffles as she wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him back. “Math. You know how much I hate math,” she replies sullenly. “Will you help me?”
“Sure I will.”
Maya sniffs again, wiping her eyes as she comes around to hug me. “Will you come, too?”
“Of course, mijita. I’ll be up in a moment.” I squeeze her tightly, inhaling her cotton candy scent that permeates the entire second floor of the house.
I watch them go before turning to Mick, who is watching them with a mixture of anger and sadness etched into his features. “I hate that she’s so comfortable with him. ”
Curling my bottom lip, I chew on it while thinking about my reply. “You should be thankful he’s so good with her.”
“Thankful?” He narrows his eyes.
“Yes, Mick. Thankful .” My voice grows stronger, but I still keep my tone low so she can’t overhear us. “He’s spent more time with her in the past week than you have her whole life. You can’t fault her for that. And you can’t go around acting like her father, either. You’re going to have to do damage control after your display tonight. A normal boss wouldn’t have acted that way.”
He’s silent for a while, hands on his hips as he stares at the floor. “I want to tell her…” he finally whispers.
Reluctantly, I nod in agreement. “Soon.”
I just hope soon comes later. Much, much later.