Chapter 18
Proctor
One month later
I finally got a bond this morning, and my son posted it as soon as he could. When I was released from those doors for the time being, I was met by a black truck parked outside. Sergio stepped out and opened the door for me to slide in.
“What up, Proc.”
I nodded my head to acknowledge him.
When I got inside, Hawk was sitting behind the driver’s seat, stretched out just as much as I was.
“Appreciate you for getting me out nigga,”
“You knew I wasn’t going to leave your ass in there,” he replied as the car took off.
“I’m glad that the judge listened to the lawyer and let me out, but now we have to figure out how we're getting out of this like last time?”
“A good lawyer is where we start. We already got that, so we're on the track to setting you free. But after this, we need to only kill mutha fuckas who are actively shooting at us. I have too much shit to lose now, and so do you, to be killing niggas just because. I know why you did what you did, but still, we have to think smarter now.”
My son fussed, as if we had switched roles for the time being. I always let Hawk speak because he was smart, mature, and he thought like a man my age. I wasn’t too real to listen to what he had to say. He was one of the very few people who could persuade me right or left on a situation.
It got quiet in the truck once we pulled off and started stretching through the city. Hawk was on his phone, texting, and I didn’t know who, but he was a businessman, so there was no telling.
This time in jail felt harder than the last time, because back then, all I was missing was regular sex in a comfortable bed.
Now? I had people on the outside that I really wanted to be with.
I was trying to build a family. I had a woman and a baby living in my house.
That made it different. I couldn’t get the same feeling locked up as I could when I was free.
This time, I was missing love. Bonding. The people I cared about.
I looked over towards Hawk, who had put his phone down on his lap. Just like me, his knees were still bent even in this spacious ass SUV.
“Have you seen my lady lately?”
“Yeah, she’s been coming over the past couple of weeks. My wife said she's been looking really down and shit.”
“I bet. I've been feeling the same way,” I replied, shifting in my seat.
“I just can’t believe Diane told the truth and gave them video evidence showing them I wasn’t there after telling me her nephew had wiped the footage of me leaving out.” I shook my head.
“Me either, I really thought you had that bitch in check.”
“I thought I did too, but because I didn’t give her any dick, it all went downhill, and she snaked me. Hurt bitches the grimmest species on earth.”
“Well, I've been telling you that for years. Fucking can only get you so far anyway, but you didn’t want to believe that shit. Nina is the perfect example of how far scorned women will go. You still think we can trust what that bitch said? I've been lying low just in case she wasn’t lying about that shit she told you. Shit, this whip bullet proof we in right now.”
“Yeah, I trust her. Nina wrote me a few times on the inside. She is sticking to her story, so I plan to get with her soon now that I’m out to get this nigga up out of here.”
“Good, because I’m not meeting with the bitch, but when you say up out of here, what does that mean? I know not any crazy shit?”
“Nah, this shit will be clean, this plan could potentially clean a lot of shit up actually. We're working out the kinks of the shit, though. We could only talk in code while I was locked up, but I’m going to meet with her soon to really discuss the opportunities we have.”
Hawk shook his head.
“I can’t believe I’m still having to deal with that bitch.”
“Yeah, son, but at least this time it’s for some good,” I replied.
“Yeah, I guess so, but back to your situation. You know, I've been thinking, and where Tania seems like she's keeping it solid, she has her drawbacks too, according to my wife.”
“Drawbacks about what? Didn’t she get paid?”
“Yeah, she did, but she is still scared about testifying on the stand about you, and you know a scared witness is just as bad as one who is against you.”
“So, her loudmouth ass really scared? She made me think she was used to shit like this just from the way she carries herself. I’m sure I’m not the first gangsta she's been around.”
“Who knows, and loudmouth or not, she's still a female who has never been as close to death or a murder trial as you put her. Her ass went back to D.C. for a couple of weeks, and it was hard as hell to even get her to answer the phone. I had to get my wife to convince her to come back out here so I could talk to her.”
“Did y’all talk?”
“Yeah, we did.”
“So, you think she is going to flip?”
“Nah, she won’t flip, and she won’t be scared about the trial because I know a way she will not have to testify at all. There is a way we could avoid that shit altogether.”
“Oh yeah? What way?” I asked Hawk.
“You would have to marry her ass.”
“I would have to do what?” I sat up in my seat so fast Sergio chuckled from the front seat. His ass had been so quiet, I forgot he was even in the car.
“You have to marry Tania. Legally, wives aren’t obligated to testify against their spouse. She can’t be subpoenaed in the trial if you two are married. They can mention her alibi, but they can’t make her testify, which will take away her fear of being eaten up during cross-examination.”
“But I’m already with Ari. I can’t marry another bitch. Especially not her fuckin homegirl. Ari is not going for that shit. You're not about to get me killed. I made it too far in life to die at the hands of a female.”
Hawk laughed, flashing a rare smile.
“I mean, you always say you're a player, right, old man. You say you got your life under control.”
“Shit, I do, or I did, before I started sharing the rains with someone.”
“All you have to do is make Ari understand that you are saving yourself and your family. Look, this is just another way we can protect you from that charge. I’m trying to think of anything and everything to keep you from prison nigga.”
I adjusted myself in the seat because it was getting even more uncomfortable back here. Now it wasn’t just my body being in a tight squeeze. My mind was too.
“So, you think she's going to marry me? You think she's going to agree to all this?”
“She doesn’t have a choice. She already got paid, and I laced that shit up with her the moment she got back to Vegas. She agreed to this union. Another arranged marriage is about to save us from some shit again.”
“I guess so, but I’m not falling in love with her ass like you did; I’m already in love with someone.”
“Trust me, I know.”
Hawk laughed before he went quiet, and so did I. He had really put a lot of shit on my mind with this marrying Tania shit.
After we got to my spot and my son let me out of his car, I was battling with myself on the way up to my place.
I had spent so much time in prison thinking about putting a ring on Ari, and now I was expected to marry somebody else to keep my freedom.
That shit was fuckin with me in the worst ways right now.
When I got to the door, I went to twist the knob, then remembered I didn’t have my house key, and Ari had the keypad changed by my request to make sure they were safe here alone.
I rang the doorbell instead, and then I heard footsteps on the other side, so I already knew who it was.
The door swung open, and Ari stood there, beautiful as I left her in a bun and a sundress, hugging her body.
“It’s you, Proc,” she said, wrapping her arms around my torso, hugging me as tight as she could.
“I missed you, gorgeous. How you been? Where is my baby?”
“She’s in the room sleeping, but I've been okay. Well, as okay as I can be.”
I leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled back, lowering her head.
“Let’s go sit down in the kitchen, Proctor. I think we need to talk.” Ari said softly.
I walked into my kitchen and took a seat at one of the bars while Ari stood up on the other side, away from me.
“I know you want to talk about how we are going to get out of this but just know that my son has a few plans to ensure I spend no time in jail.”
“No Proc, it’s not that. I am more than confident you two are coming up with something that will work.” She dropped her head.
“What I wanted to talk about, well, ask you is when do we need to move out of here?”
“Move? Move out where? For what?” I snapped.
“I heard that you have to marry one of my best friends, and I take it that it means you and I have to take a break for the time being.”
“Take a break for what? That shit is not real and is just an arranged marriage to keep me out of some trouble. Ari, you know I want you and not her.”
“But I’m supposed to live here with you while you're married? That doesn’t even make sense, Proctor.”
“Ari, a marriage that is nothing but a legally binding contract. An agreement, a stipulation to my freedom,” I replied.
“Ari, you've been my wife since the day I met your ass. We got a kid together, so this is strictly business. Do you understand that?”
She dropped her head.
“Yes, I get what you are saying, but I honestly don’t even know how you are going to feel about me after I make a confession to you about something that.” She paused, as her next words pained her to say.
“Something that is breaking my heart and I’m sure will break yours.” Her words were coming out so slowly, I could tell this shit was weighing heavily on her. I wasn’t easily moved, but she had me anxious to hear what she was about to say.
“What is the confession? What is going on with you? Spit that shit out, Ari.”
She exhaled and walked around the counter towards me.
“Proctor, I was really scared when you got arrested for those murders. It made me worry, it made me think, and dread life without you and going through yet another murder trial with you.”
“I told you we were working on getting that shit handled, which is why we're making moves like me marrying your friend. Plus, whether I’m here physically or not, I’m always going to take care of my family. You and my daughter will forever be straight as long as my son and I are breathing.”
“But Proctor.” She exhaled again, and I sat up in my seat even further.
“Treasure is not your daughter, Proctor.”
“What the fuck do you mean she's not mine?” I asked. “How the fuck do you know that? Why are we even still on that shit, Ari? I told you I didn’t even want to test her.”
“But while you were gone, I kept thinking about our future, and I was battling depression, wondering if any of this was worth it. Wondering if karma was coming back to get me in ways I didn’t even see coming by taking you away from me again.
Wondering if I even wanted what we have anymore, even though physically and mentally having you made me feel so good.
” She dropped her head to stop eye contact with me.
“So, I tried to give myself a peace of mind, and I told myself that maybe if she’s not yours, then we don’t really have a bond, and leaving you wouldn’t be so hard.
That I could move on with my life without having to see you, talk to you, or worry about you not being here with me.
At one point, I selfishly wanted you out of sight and out of mind. ”
My chest tightened.
“So, three weeks ago, I tested her with a swab of her cheek, and I sent in your toothbrush to find out if she is biologically yours.”
I jumped to my feet.
“So, you did a test without my knowledge? What the fuck kind of shit is that, Ariana?”
“Proctor, I told you, I wanted to believe she wasn’t yours so that I could walk away and not care about you.
But even after the results came back saying that she wasn’t your child a few days ago, I still loved you.
I still yearned for you, so that test did nothing and I broke my heart and yours for no reason because I still feel like you are my person. ”
She cried as I started to slowly pace the floor back and forth.
“How the fuck is a toothbrush test going to tell me I’m not her father?
I can’t believe you did that shit, Ari. You were ready to leave me, and that says a lot.
Maybe you are not as committed to this shit as I am.
Shit, I know I come with a lot of fuckin baggage because I have my entire life, but most of it comes from me loving too hard, and when I love someone, they are always protected by me.
Even to the point that it’s a fault for me!
I did what I did because they hurt my son! ”
Ari grabbed my arm and held it tightly as she looked up into my eyes.
A tear dropped down my cheek, and I wasn’t a nigga who cried much, but I was so mad I wanted to do some crazy shit right now, not to Ari, but to someone.
Take my anger out on anyone. But I knew I couldn’t.
So now all that anger had festered up in my body.
These tears were probably from the steam inside me, not from emotions.
“I know you probably don’t feel the same about us anymore, but I still love you.”
She wiped the tears from my face, and I stepped closer to lock eyes with her.
“Look, Ari, to be honest, I don’t give a fuck about no DNA test from no saliva on a toothbrush,” I said firmly.
“That’s my daughter. I don’t know what kind of fucked-up shit you were trying to prove to yourself, but she's always been mine and will always be mine.”
“I don’t care about the past, and all I care about is her future. After I fight this new case and get through this shit. I’m divorcing Tania, and you and I are making this relationship official.”
She looked at me, stunned.
“On the outside, I might have to be married to her. But on the inside? Ain’t nothing arranged about what we got going on.”
I pulled her close.
“I love you, Ari. Nothing you can do or say will stop how I feel. Just know that shit.”
“And I love you too, Proctor. I proved to myself time and time again that it’s the same with me. You have me locked in no matter how much I want to fight it.”
Her and I kissed on the lips before I slipped my tongue into her mouth and showed my baby how much I loved and missed her through physical touch. I was never much of a kisser, until I met a woman with lips so soft and so sweet, I could never eat fruit again and still feel like I have it every day.
“Now, let me go wake up MY daughter to let her know I'm back.”
“Yes, go get your baby, Proctor. It’s time for her to wake up anyway.” Ari smiled shyly as I placed one more kiss on her forehead and squeezed her tightly.
I will never let her beautiful ass go. Hell, or jail can’t deter me from that.