Played by the Fool (Man of the Month Club)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

Ciarán

I had a great childhood with my three siblings. Fionn is the oldest and he’s a Gardaí , or peace officer . Then there’s Aisling and áine who are both dentists. I finished dental school last year and have since joined the family business. Our parents, Cian and éireann, met while they were both in dental school. After they graduated, they started their own business in our hometown, Donegal, Ireland. It’s a small town where everyone knows everyone.

Our da was adopted as a baby. His adoptive parents had two biological children, my Uncail Colin and my Aintín Finola. My grandparents passed away within a few months of each other when my da was in college. After they passed, he said he tried to find his birth parents. But he couldn’t find anyone who was willing to help him. When my da was adopted, it wasn’t a great time for unwed mothers and their babies. I can see how much it hurts him not to know about his birth parents. He always talked about how much he loved his parents, but also wanted to know where he came from. Earlier this year, I told him we should try again. That I would help him search. We all would help, my brother has been searching the database when he’s at work. And my sisters and I have been making phone calls.

“I’m going to meet with Sister Katherine today. Did you want to come with me?” I ask my da.

“I would. Do you really think we’ll find the information we’re looking for?”

“I don’t know, Da. But it doesn’t hurt to try. I know they didn’t help you last time, but we have to try again.”

He nods at me as we grab our stuff. I know my da is worried. When no one would help him before, he kind of gave up hope. Seeing that sadness in my da’s eyes makes me sad. And I want to find his birth parents. Even if they don’t want anything to do with him. At least he’ll know where he came from.

The drive to meet with Sister Katherine takes about an hour. It’s a nice drive, most of the drives here in Ireland are beautiful to me. I love Ireland and the people that live here. Since the orphanage that my da was born in is no longer around, we’re meeting her at the church where she lives.

It’s a small rural church with a rectory on the side. That’s where the priest lives and there’s another smaller building where the sisters live. It’s a pretty area with a view of the mountains.

“Are you okay, Da?” I ask him as we get out of the car.

He nods slowly. “Just a little worried they won’t be able to tell us anything.”

“Good thoughts, Da. We’re going to find what we need.”

We take our time walking up to the church doors. As we get up the stairs, the doors swing open.

“Sister Katherine?” I ask.

She smiles at us and waves us inside.

“You are Ciarán?” she asks.

“I am. And this is my da, Cian. Thank you for meeting with us. I know it’s a lot to remember.”

Sister Katherine nods sadly. “There were things that happened in the past I wish I could forget. And I should warn you—you may not like what you find. And I also may not be able to help you at all.”

“We understand. I tried to find my birth parents before. But no one would talk to me then, so my son wanted to give it another try.”

“We have kept some records. But a lot of them have been destroyed. You might find some sisters that could remember things too. Let’s start with what you do know. I need your birthdate and your name.”

“My name is Cian ó'Ruairc and my birthdate is January 8, 1966.”

Sister Katherine gets a look on her face, “Give me a few minutes. We have been organizing our records that we have here.”

I get up to look around the church. It’s a smaller version of the big cathedrals in the city. The stained glass windows look older than the ones in our church. My da gets up and walks outside so I follow him.

“It’s a good sign that she didn’t immediately say she can’t help you.”

“I agree. It’s the waiting that is hard,” he says.

“I know, Da,” I say as I hug him.

We take a walk around the church and then head back inside to wait. I hope she doesn’t tell us to come back or that she can’t find any records. Imagine finding a whole new family. One that shares our blood and looks like us. My da’s parents were wonderful, but there’s just something different about knowing you have that extra bond.

“Thank you for waiting,” Sister Katherine says as she comes over to us. “I’d like you to come back to the office with me.”

We both nod and follow her. We wait for her to sit first, then we take our seats.

“I remember your birth mother,” she says softly. “She wasn’t like the other young mothers that we had here. She told me about how much she loved your birth father. And how they had planned a life together. Being here wasn’t her idea, or his. It was something their parents made them do. Your mother’s name is órfhlaith ó'Dufaigh and your da is Liam Kearney.”

Sister Katherine pulls out a paper and hands it to my da. I watch his eyes fill with tears as he looks at it.

“There was something about your mam that stayed with me. I wish I could’ve found a way to keep you with her. I met your da right before she gave birth. It was not allowed, but after spending time with órfhlaith, I had to help her. I arranged for your da to visit her. I saw how devoted he was to her, and her to him. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you all together. But I promised órfhlaith that I would find you good parents. And I did my best. I hope that you had a good life, Cian.”

My da wipes his tears and nods.

“My parents were really good people. They never made me feel like I wasn’t blood related. They both passed when I was in college. That’s when I decided I wanted to find my birth parents. I didn’t want them to feel bad about it, like they weren’t my parents. They always told me that they would understand if I wanted to find them. But then again, I didn’t want to hurt them.”

“I’m sorry to hear of their passing. They had two children when they came to adopt you, how are they doing?”

“Colin and Finola are great. They support me doing this.”

“You’ll have to come back and tell me if you’ve found Liam and órfhlaith. I always wondered if they made it through together.”

Sister Katherine hands my da a folder.

“This is everything I have right now. I know there’s more because I have it at home. I kept a journal of the girls I was close to. I will look that up and give you a call. I’d like you to have that too.”

“Thank you so much, Sister. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

We stand up and Sister Katherine embraces the two of us.

“I hope you find them and get the closure you need.”

“Because of you, I think I will,” Da says to her.

“I’ll be calling you in a few days. It won’t take me long to find my journal.”

“We’ll drive back when you do” I say to Sister Katherine as we leave.

My da is quiet on the drive home. I can see him reading each page over and over. I have a feeling this is the start of a crazy journey for our family. And I can’t wait.