37. Kris
37
KRIS
I’ve not talked to Kameron or even attempted since the time I called her and she was with Damon.
She never called back after whatever she was doing, and I was too hurt to call a second time.
I figured everything I want to say would be better said face to face instead.
And today happens to be the perfect day, since it’s the day before the Bazaar.
The way Cora talked, it’s basically a run through of the day. Everyone will be setting up, getting the last minute things finished. Tons of volunteers will be there to help, and hopefully this day will make tomorrow run much smoother.
I drive into Birchwood, thinking of Kameron the second I see the town sign come into view.
I’m nervous to see her, it’s been a month since the wedding, and I still don’t really have a plan of what to do or what to say.
What if she refuses to see me? What if she kicks me out of town?
She can’t do that, can she?
I pull up to the small town square, parking my truck along one side of it. They have most of it taped off, and traffic is being directed another way to bypass it. The court house that sits in the center of the square is decorated with deep greens and bright reds, the columns are wrapped in garland with large ornaments hanging. All the businesses have their own trees sitting outside the door, fully decorated. Poinsettias decorate the street, along with the light posts all decorated with garland as well.
It’s the epitome of a small town Christmas.
And there she is.
All of the air is sucked from my lungs as I stare at her from my truck.
Kameron walks across the street, wearing tight jeans and a puffy black jacket with fur around the hood. Her hair is braided, and her cheeks are pink from the winter weather.
Christmas is next weekend, so Cora said they expect a fairly large turnout this year. I guess the stripping Santa show is a huge selling point.
I stand here a few more minutes, watching Kameron work her magic. I see how people light up when she talks to them, how she commands attention from others without even meaning to.
Smiling to myself, I push off my truck, heading in her direction. No time like the present to get this heavy weight off my chest.
There are times when it feels so heavy, I can feel my airway being constricted.
But then it’s quickly replaced with fear. What if she’s moved on? With Damon?
What if I’ve had my head up my ass for too long and now I’m screwed?
I’m about to cross to where she is when Cora is suddenly standing in front of me. She’s slowly shaking her head before she looks over her shoulder to where Kameron is still talking to other volunteers.
“Don’t ruin the day yet, Kris,” she tells me.
“I wasn’t, I just needed to talk to her,” I admit.
“And ruin her day?” She sighs. “Just let her go, she deserves someone who is going to settle down, move the mountains and the sun for her. You don’t do any of those things, Kris.”
Ouch.
“I could,” I tell her. “I mean,” I run my hands over my face, “I want to be those things for her, Cora. I want to make things right between us, and I need to tell her how I feel.”
She stares at me, her features softening slowly. “Oh, my God.” Her hand goes to her mouth. “You’re in love with her.”
My cheeks pink as she says the words, because I know they’re true, but I’ve not said them out loud yet.
“Stop.” I stare at her. “I have a lot to tell her and I really want to get it out to her first.”
“Then by all means, tell me your plan.” She giggles.
That’s when I look up and see Kameron staring at me from across the square. Even with the distance between us, I can see her gorgeous green eyes just as clearly as if she was standing in front of me. My breath hitches, and my heart thumbs against my rib cage.
“Oh, the feeling is mutual,” Cora teases, smiling between us. “Just don’t hurt her again, Kris. She can’t take it a third time. She’s only ever been in love with you, and I don’t think she ever fell out of love with you to be honest.”
Her words sink in, and all I can do is nod in response.
“Stay here,” Cora tells me, and she takes off in Kameron’s direction.
I shove my hands in my pocket, trying not to look like a loser standing here while everyone is moving around the square with a designated job to do. Cora approaches Kameron and I see them argue back and forth looking over at me every few words.
Kameron pulls her head back at whatever Cora has just said. Her mouth drops open and Kameron slowly turns to look at me. I know without a doubt what Cora just implied.
Cora says something else to her, but Kameron’s eyes never leave mine as Cora gives her a shove in my direction, taking the clipboard out of her hand as she does it.
The walk toward me is so painfully slow, and the closer she gets the more anxious I get.
What If she doesn’t care what I have to say? All of those feelings come barreling back up inside of me.
She stops when we’re only a foot apart. She’s so close, and my fingers itch to reach out and touch her, but I don’t have that right anymore.
“You look beautiful,” I tell her, needing her to know how I see her.
“Kris.” She sighs.
“I love you,” I blurt out.
Not exactly the most romantic thing ever but… It’ll have to do.
“Kris, you can’t.” Her eyes fill with tears. “You can’t just come here, after a month, after years ,” she stresses the word, “of me waiting on you, and you show up here and tell me you love me. That’s not just something that you can say. I’ve waited years for you to say that, because I’ve always loved you but you could nev–”
I cut her off after I hear those words.
I slam my lips to her, my hand snaking around the back of her neck and holding her securely to me with a hand on her back as well.
She has always loved me.
That’s what she said.
I’m still in this.
I pull away, resting my forehead to hers. “I’ve always loved you, I just didn’t know how to identify those feelings. I was scared.” I kiss her forehead, before looking into her eyes. I need her to see all of my emotions as I say these words to her. “I was terrified that something would happen and I’d lose you. The idea of turning out the way that my parents did, fucking rocked me to my core. And I didn’t want to do that to you.” I shake my head. “I’d never forgive myself if I turned you into a shell of a person like my mother. But don’t ever think that I didn’t have true feelings for you.”
She lifts her head, looking me in the eyes.
“What makes this time so different?” she asks.
It’s a fair question. One that I have the answer to.
“Because this time, I’m no longer scared. I know I can’t live my life without you anymore. It hurts too fucking much.” I blow a breath out, waiting for her response.
I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as I wait.
Just when I think she’s about to tell me to fuck off, to go home, and leave her alone…
“I love you, too,” she finally whispers.
And my knees nearly buckle at the sound of those words coming from her lips.
Fucking finally.
“But you have to make it up to me.” She looks at me. “Cora said to make you grovel, flowers, chocolate, anything I want and I should demand it.” She pauses, looking directly into my eyes. “I don’t want to waste anymore of our time together though.”
Flowers? Every single day if I have to.
Chocolate? She’s got it.
Anything she wants, and I’ll move a fucking mountain to get it to her.