Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
HUNTER
“Any ideas on how you’re going to get Dori back?” Jonah leans over the pool table in his game room and takes the shot to break the triangle.
All the balls scatter and the solid red three-ball drops into a pocket.
“Solids.”
I nod, acknowledging his call. “Well, she’s staying at my place for the foreseeable future, so hopefully, I’ll get the opening I desperately need.”
“That was pure luck running into her like you did.” He continues to hit ball after ball into the pockets.
I should know better than to play pool against him. Other than women, it’s his favorite pastime.
“Tell me about it. When we created the app diversion, I figured we were keeping them away from the bedroom. I had no idea Dorothy would find his son’s room and his ex would be there. But I’m taking the win. I need all the help I can get.”
“Why do you say that?” He misses his shot, so I take my turn.
“Ten ball in the side pocket.” I point to the space on the table. “She’s been crying over him since she got to my apartment. It’s more than just her being hurt that he lied. She’s torn up. So much so that she can’t get her thoughts together.”
I miss the shot and Jonah jumps in. “Let’s play slop because your mind isn’t here with us.”
“Agreed. It’s more fun that way, anyway.” I lean my pool cue against the wall and roll up my shirt sleeves. “I’m glad you’re working from home today. I told her I was going to the office, but I was dreading it for fear I’d see Jamison.”
“Yeah, the office is dead today.” He scans the table and hits the white ball. “Why do you say Dori can’t think?”
Picturing how lost she is, my heart compresses. “She was rambling about what happened and slipped, telling me something she didn’t want me to know.”
He studies me. “And what was that?”
“Fuck, Jonah. If I tell you, you’re going to have a bunch of thoughts about her and me. None of which will be good.”
He stops playing. “You know me better than that. I may give you shit, but I always have your back.”
A spike of concern reverberates through me. “I know, but this information might not land well.”
“Let me be the judge.”
“Very well.” I grab my cue and hold it up straight like a walking staff. “She let it slip out that she got pregnant not long ago. And it was his.”
Jonah’s jaw falls slack. I knew the information wasn’t going to go over well.
After a minute, he closes his mouth and blinks a few times. “What happened to… Did she… Tell me what happened.”
“She had an ectopic pregnancy. At the time, she told me she had a UTI and something else. I think it was endometriosis. I’m not sure if that part is true, and I didn’t ask. I was so pissed when I found out I left her alone and took a cold shower.”
“That explains her missing all those deadlines.” He shakes his head and stares out the window. “Hunter, are you sure this relationship is what you want?”
I swallow the heavy lump that’s shoved itself into my throat. “Yes. I love her, Jonah, and nothing she does will change that.”
He shrugs and draws in a deep breath. “Well, if that’s the case, we better devise a good plan for you to win her back.”
“I have some ideas, but they’re all very risky.”
“It sounds like risk is the crux of your relationship, so lay it out for me and let me help you decide.”
He goes back to hitting random balls into the pockets. He’s not even giving me a turn. Not that I care. My brain swims with overwhelming thoughts about how to care for Dorothy.
I lean against the table. “The Christmas ball is Thursday. I’d like to take her as my date.”
His pool cue falls out of his hand and smacks against the floor. “You think getting her fired will win you her love?”
“Well, that’s where you come in.”
“Do I tell you to fuck off now or after you tell me what you have in mind?”
My guts clench. “Hear me out. You might even get on board.”
He backs up and folds his arms. “Oh, this should be good.”
“Well, I’ve heard you say you think Melanie’s hot. They’re best friends, so you could take Melanie and I could take Dorothy. We can tell everyone it’s a staff thing.
“Kind of like how girls go stag to prom with all their girlfriends. We can pass it off like none of us had dates, so we decided to go as a group.”
He considers the idea for a moment. Tossing in Melanie is the carrot I needed to dangle before him. He’s wanted to fuck her for a while now. She’s not my type, but I can’t say I blame him. She’s an exotic beauty with a body to die for .
He nods. “That could work, but we have to get our stories in sync. Even with the ladies. Like you said, everyone has to believe it’s a group event.”
Hope flutters through me. “Then you agree to take Melanie?”
“Why not? At the best, we both get something we’ve wanted for a while. If nothing else, it’s exactly as we say it is. A group outing.”
My neck and shoulders relax. “Thanks, Jonah. I’ll set it up with Dorothy when I get home. I have no doubt Melanie will accept. She loves hanging out with Dorothy.”
Jonah smiles wide. “And don’t forget she gets me. Who wouldn’t want that?”
“Pick up your cue and let’s play.” I take a shot. “How was Jamison today at work?”
“He was crawling up the walls. Every half an hour, he made an excuse to come to our floor to look for her. He even asked me if he could get her new number. Somehow, he knows she’s not using her phone.”
I rise and stare hard into Jonah’s eyes. “Don’t share that number with him under any circumstances. And not just for me. She doesn’t want to talk to him. She’s so upset that he kept this from her. She may not forgive him.”
“Should she?” He bends over and picks up his cue.
Needing someone to talk to besides my therapist—someone who knows me—my defenses fall away. “I’m not worried about that. I’m worried because I have my own secrets I’m keeping from her and they’re just as bad.”
“Fuck, Hunter. What did you do now?”
My shoulders round, remorse and embarrassment sliding off my skin. “I went out one night, got wasted, and met Isabella from Sacks Commodities. She ended up taking my drunk ass home, and I passed out.
“I woke up with her in my bed. Nothing happened that I can remember, but her spending the night doesn’t look good. Isabella mentioned being interested in me to Dorothy, so something tells me if I don’t tell Dorothy first, Isabella will.”
He pushes me aside so he can take a shot. “That’s it. I’m reconsidering supporting you in this relationship with Dori. She fucks Jamison. You take Isabella home. When does it ever stop?”
“Calm down, Jonah. I didn’t do anything with Isabella.”
“Yeah, right.” He slams the white ball against the yellow one so hard it skips off the table. “Convince me I’m doing the right thing or I’ll walk.”
I pull in a breath of courage. “I want to start over with Dorothy. If I slowly come clean with her about my past, she’ll see I’m trying to be a better man. I can show her the respect she deserves by letting her in and trusting her with my biggest secrets. I think it’ll go far with her.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
Fear claws through my chest. “If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I’ll deal with that when it comes. But I’ve got to try because she’s torn up that Jamison kept this from her. Honestly, I don’t think she would’ve gotten upset if he had told her out of the gate.”
“I think you’re playing with fire, but I’m who am I to say? I’m no better at the dating game than you. Maybe you can teach me something.”
We finish our lousy game and he racks the balls again. As he does, the pictures of Dorothy and me that Ava has come to mind.
If I’m going to come clean to Dorothy about my past, I have to find a way to tell her about Ava. And that thought has me wanting to jump out of the window.
“Jonah, do you ever think about our mother?”
“Really? You’re talking about loving Dori and coming clean with her about your past and now you want to talk about the woman who birthed us. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I just don’t want the woman I marry to walk out on me like our mother did. ”
He puts his pool cue on the top of the table and points to a high-top table in the corner. “Let’s sit this one out and get to the bottom of your emotional transformation.”
I do as he asks, feeling like he’s the older brother. “What are your thoughts about why our mom left us?”
“Hunter, she left us to be with a mobster. Nothing about her sounds like Dori, so don’t compare the two.”
“I’m not. This has more to do with us than with my relationship. I wonder if our mom will show up one day when we least expect it.”
He slides onto his chair. “I doubt it. She would’ve done it by now.”
I shrug, an underlying sense of doom vibrating through me. “Maybe, but I have a feeling she will.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Do you remember the betting chips she gave us when she left?”
“I do.”
“Do you remember what she said when she gave it to you?”
He’s silent for a moment. “Something like it was a sign she’d always be there to help if I needed it and if she ever sent me one, I should know that she’s supporting me and taking care of things behind the scenes like she always would be.”
I run my hand over the back of my stiff neck. “That’s not what she said to me.”
“What did she say to you?”
“That if I ever got one from her, that meant she’d be coming back to make things right.”
Jonah’s brows pinch together. “That’s strange she told us different things.”
My mind just got fucked. “It is. I wonder what she meant.”
“Well, I’m not holding my breath to find out.”
I nod and let the subject go. Jonah has no insights into what Mommy Dearest wants from me, so I’d rather not get him involved. We ease into a conversation about our Christmas plans before I excuse myself to go to therapy.
When I get home, my apartment is quiet. There’s no sign of Dorothy. It’s getting dark outside, so I venture upstairs to see if I can find her in my library. I peek in but don’t see her.
Please let her be here.
As I turn away, a pink mound on the terrace catches my eye. It’s her, balled up and crying on the ground. My heart aches.
Fuck, Jamison did a number on her.
And as good as that is for me, I hate seeing her this upset. I open the doors and go to her.
“Beauty, let me take you inside.” I glide my arm over her shoulders. “It’s too cold to be out here.”
She raises her head. Her eyes are almost swollen shut and her misery drills into me. Her devastation is pulverizing.
“Dorothy, you need my help.”
She crawls into my arms and snuggles against my chest. “I know why it’s so hard.”
“Why what’s so hard?”
“Why knowing he has a son is so hard to accept.”
Oh, that’s what all this sadness is about.
How could I’ve not seen it?
“And why is that?” I ask.
The last thing I want to do is assume. If I’m wrong, she could run off and shut down from me.
“Because he has…something I…never will.” Her words bounce through her choppy breaths. “I can’t give any man a child.”
I’m surprised she’s so upset by this because she’s already said she doesn’t want kids anymore. But maybe it’s because he has something she wants… I’m not sure I understand. I thought she was mourning her miscarriages again .
Confused, I say, “I didn’t think you wanted children anymore.”
She snuggles up to me and weeps, so I lift her and carry her inside. I take her to her room and place her on the bed before climbing in beside her to let her cry on me for the next half an hour.
We don’t speak much, but holding this space for her to release her sadness safely seems more intimate than if she were sharing all her feelings. On some level, I think she appreciates this more.
“Hunter, why don’t you want kids?” She pushes out of my arms.
My insides twist and knot. I press myself up so I’m sitting straight and take a deep breath. I’ve got to tell her the truth, but I’m not sure she’s in a place where it will be received well. She’s too fragile, so I swerve.
“My lifestyle doesn’t line up with raising children. I guess it could if I wanted them bad enough, but whenever I picture my life with the person I marry, I see us enjoying each other. Like traveling the world for as long as we want. Taking spontaneous trips for an extended weekend vacation doesn’t bode well for kids in school.”
She glances down and sighs. “Yeah, it doesn’t. My parents did that to my brother and me for a little while. Then they decided we were too much trouble, so we had caregivers who would come in while they were gone.”
Guilt forces its way into my stomach. “That’s what I would be afraid of. Kids are a tremendous responsibility. I’m afraid I’d fuck it up.”
She studies me for a moment. Her emerald eyes find my gaze. “I’m sorry if this is out of line, but I think you’d make a great father.”
My stomach clenches more, so I shift off the bed. “I doubt that, but thanks. I’m going to check on dinner. It should be ready soon. ”
She nods and I disappear out of her room. I take some stabilizing breaths because the thought of telling her about Jack is terrifying.
But it must be done.
Telling her about him is the most risky topic and the secret could very well be my demise.