Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
DORI
“How do you feel, Dori?” my therapist, Samantha, asks from the giant screen in Hunter’s home office.
One thing’s for sure, Hunter’s gone out of his way to ensure my every need is taken care of.
She’s asked this question about six different ways during the video session and my answer remains the same.
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“How would you like to feel?”
“Happy. Loved. Complete.” I’m unsure if they’re separate or all go together. Although, I have no idea how I can feel all of those at once.
“Let’s explore each of those emotions separately. For you to be happy, what would you like to see happen?” Samantha stares through the screen with limited expression.
I sink into her question. “If I were happy right now, I’d be clear on what to do. I’d know what to say to Jami and have all my questions answered.”
“What questions do you need answered?”
I cough a wet cry. “Why didn’t Jami tell me about his son and his…whatever she is?”
“Talk about that, Dori. ”
“I can’t understand why he would want to keep that from me. He said he loved me, yet he didn’t want me to know about his son. Why? Does he think I would hurt him somehow?”
“Hurt who?”
A tinge of frustration creeps into my chest. “The baby. Did Jami think I would somehow hurt his son? It’s the only thing I can come up with.”
“Let’s say that’s true. Why would Jami have a fear you’d harm his son in some way?”
And that question shreds my soul. “Jami knows how I was raised. He’s seen how I handle my life. He and Aiden say I’m reckless. And maybe I am.”
“How so?”
I release an exasperated sigh. “For one, I fell in love with my boss when my contract clearly stated I wasn’t to date anyone within Efron Worldwide.”
Samantha peeks at her notes. “Why did you think that rule didn’t apply to you?”
“I knew it applied. But I didn’t think our relationship would last. I didn’t expect to catch feelings for him.”
“Why is that?”
“Because…” I gaze out the window at the falling snow.
I don’t have an answer. It just happened. But why did I expect things with Hunter not to last?
“Dori, think back to when you and Hunter got involved. What was going on with you?”
I see where she’s going and cry some more. “Jami had left me in a restaurant alone. He ran out on me with no explanation. Then I saw him at a club the same night, surrounded by beautiful women.”
Samantha tilts her head. “Jami has a history of not communicating with you. Is it possible that the reason he didn’t tell you about his son has nothing to do with you harming his child? ”
I stand and meander to the fireplace. The motion-detected camera follows my movements and continues to record me.
“I’m not sure what Jami’s reason was, but I’ve hurt him before.”
“How?”
“I lost our baby, so maybe… He knew I had miscarried before and he kept bringing up the past. It was like he didn’t want me to forget. He kept telling me he would be there if I needed someone to lean on.
“But maybe he was trying to tell me that… I don’t know why he wanted me to remember that, but when I got pregnant with his child, he watched me like a hawk whenever he could—like he didn’t trust me.”
“Why do you think he didn’t trust you?” She glances at her notebook, and then her eyes fix on me.
“He saw me drinking wine a couple of times. He would get angry with me about it, but I wasn’t trying to hurt myself or the baby. I just thought a glass or two wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it did, though, so Jami had every reason not to trust me.” I swipe away the rapidly falling tears.
“Ectopic pregnancies aren’t caused by drinking wine. You understand that, don’t you?”
I crumble into the chair near the fireplace and weep into my hands. This conversation sucks and I don’t see how it’s helping me figure out my current issues.
Frustrated, I grumble to myself, stand, and march back to the screen. “From what I understand, nobody knows what causes ectopic pregnancies. So who knows if drinking wine caused it or not? But that’s not what I need help with right now.”
Samantha holds my gaze. “Dori, it’s all related. We’ve been talking about your miscarriages for a few months. You’ve gone from breaking up with Hunter because he didn’t want kids to breaking up with Jami because he does. ”
“I did not break up with Jami because he wants kids. I cut ties with him because he has a son. There’s a big difference.”
She nods once. “I thought you were taking this time apart from him because you needed clarity on how you feel about him hiding such a critical piece of information from you. So let’s get back to your last statement. How does Jami’s son play into your issues with him?”
I clench my teeth and glare at her. Anger swirls in my chest. I want to fucking scream at her. I release a growl and pace.
How does a therapist not see how Jami’s son plays into all this?
“To make it clear, Samantha, the last time I broke up with Hunter, it was because of work. Him not wanting kids didn’t matter anymore because I didn’t either. It was only because of work.”
“And why don’t you want to have children anymore?”
Oh, good God, she’s driving me up the wall today.
“This session isn’t about that. I need help figuring out how to deal with seeing Jami again. What am I supposed to say? And how will I explain I’ve been staying with Hunter?”
“Why does it matter where you’re staying?”
I spin to face the camera. “Because it will kill Jami to know I’ve been letting Hunter comfort me.”
Her expression softens. “How do you feel about Hunter helping you through this difficult time?”
Finally, we’re talking about my immediate issues.
“I appreciate it. He’s been wonderful.” I sit in his desk chair and relax into that thought.
“In what ways?”
“He’s shown me support. He’s been asking about my feelings and been understanding of things that would normally send him into a rage. It’s funny. For some unknown reason, I never trusted he’d get into therapy. But he’s been going for a while and I think it’s helping.”
“That’s great for him, but how does it affect you? ”
“He’s showing me a new side of himself. It’s hard at times. Like last night, he told me he brought a woman home with him a while back.”
I glance off to the side. “She’s claiming things happened, but he swears he doesn’t think that is possible. He said he didn’t want to lie or manipulate me, so he thought it should come from him. He never would’ve come clean about that before.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
I bring my attention back to her. “Hurt, but at the same time, I appreciated he didn’t hide it. Finding out from someone else would’ve been a thousand times worse.”
“What made you appreciate him telling you?” She scribbles something in her notebook.
“Because he trusted me to handle something difficult. He gave me the power to choose how I want to deal with it. Secrets get everything twisted.”
There’s a knock on the door, so I turn around. Melanie peeks her head in and waves. I hold up one finger and face the screen.
Samantha and I stop our discussion and set up the next session as Melanie checks out Hunter’s office. When I stand, Melanie barrels into me for a hug I didn’t know I needed.
“How are you hanging in there?” She pulls away and gives me a sympathetic smile.
“I’m doing better than yesterday.” I gesture to the door. “Let’s give Hunter access to his office. We can go to my room instead.”
She follows me down the hall, taking in her surroundings. “This place is ten times bigger than I originally thought.”
“Tell me about it. We rarely came up here when I was with him, but in all fairness, I stayed in his room.” I glance over the railing as we cross the walkway.
Hunter’s in the kitchen and peeks up. “Good morning. How was your appointment? ”
I stop and peer below. “You know how they go sometimes—nothing gets resolved.”
He half laughs. “I’m not sure anything ever gets fully resolved in therapy. But every time one ends, I have another piece of the puzzle I like to call Hunter’s fucked up mind.”
Melanie gasps. “You’re in therapy?”
“Don’t be so shocked, Melanie.” He shrugs. “Like the rest, even I can want to be a better man.”
I keep walking. “Your mind is hardly fucked up.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.” He tips his head to Melanie. “You two enjoy the hot tub. I’ve got to go out for a while, but I’ll be back soon.”
“Where are you going?” I roll my lips together because I have no right to ask. The question just popped out.
“Like you, I have therapy to attend.” He grabs his phone off the kitchen island. “Dorothy, there’s coffee down here for you. And Katy will be by later. She has access, so don’t worry about letting her in.”
He goes to the foyer and disappears out the front door. I glance back at Mel. Her mouth is gaping open.
“How long has Hunter been in therapy?” She rushes to my side.
“He said he started going a while ago. I think it’s helping.”
We enter my room, and Melanie’s eyes widen in awe.
She strolls to the table and places her swimsuit bag on one of the chairs. “You could live here, you know? It’s clear he decorated this room for you.”
I pick up the new purple bathing suit Hunter had his assistant buy for me. “I don’t think that’s his plan. If anything, he’d like me to live here and share a room with him. Making this room to my liking wasn’t to keep me here.”
“Whatevs. Let’s get into that hot tub he’s been holding out on.” She rummages through her bag and pulls out her bright yellow string bikini.
We change, go to the rooftop terrace, and mosey across the heated pathway to the tub. In the daylight, winter flowers lining the enclosure near the soaking pool stand out. Mel and I peek inside the building.
Hunter described the enclosure as a simple changing area and bathroom for the rooftop. What he didn’t mention was the spa-like design.
Everything about the area is breathtaking, from the marble floors to the brushed iron fixtures. This place is seriously a step above anything I could’ve imagined.
Mel and I dip our toes in the water, then descend into the hot tub. She spins in a circle in the middle of the pool, taking in the terrace.
“Dori, this is straight out of a movie. The entire rooftop is an oasis.”
“It certainly is.”
And Hunter said this is all mine for the taking.
Would I want to live this way?
Melanie hits a button on the hot tub panel. A gulp-like sound engages the jets, pumping bubbles out through the tub’s walls and floor.
She plops herself directly in front of a forcible stream of water. “Whatcha thinking about?”
I rest on an area molded like a lounge chair. “This kind of lifestyle.”
“What about it?”
“Hunter told me he wants to get back together. He told me this could all be mine.”
“It’s no secret he wants you back, but how do you feel?”
A wall of fog covers my thoughts as my chest heats. “I don’t know. He’s been different with me. Good different. A change I didn’t expect to see in him.”
Something grabs Mel’s attention behind me.
She smiles wide. “You were reading my mind.”
She wades over to me and I peek over my shoulder. A woman about our age with wavy, short brown hair is coming toward us, balancing a serving tray. On it is a coffeepot and two mugs.
“Hi, I’m Katy. Hunter asked me to bring this up.” She whips a metal stand open and places the tray on it near the edge of the tub. “You must be Dorothy.”
I lift my hand out of the water to shake hers. “You can call me Dori.”
“Dori, it shall be.” She glances at Melanie as she takes my wet fingers and carefully shakes my hand. “And you’re Melanie.”
They shake hands, then Katy goes about preparing us a cup of coffee. “If you go by Dori, why does Hunter call you Dorothy?”
“It’s a pet name of sorts.” I take the mug from her extended arm. “Thank you. You’re a godsend.”
She laughs a little and then prepares Mel a cup. “Hunter said you’d say that.”
“He knows me well.” A strange tug pulls at me. I press it away as I drink my breakfast. “So, Katy, why have we never met before now?”
“Hunter didn’t want us to.”
“Why?” Melanie and I ask at the same time.
“He’s protective of you. He said you would be uncomfortable knowing I knew about your relationship.” She hands Melanie her coffee.
My eyes narrow. “So why now?”
She shrugs. “He said you may want alone time and asked me if I minded hanging around and tending to your needs. He doesn’t want you to feel like he’s hovering over you. Don’t worry. I had to sign an NDA about knowing you and Melanie are here.”
Melanie blows out a laugh. “Now I’m part of this secret affair?”
“It seems so.” Katy reassuringly smiles. “Can I get you two anything else? ”
Mel points to the tray. “Do you mind bringing us some Baileys or something like that? It’s Saturday and the first day of vacation.”
“Of course. Or I can bring you an espresso martini. They’re made downstairs and taste divine.” Katy rolls her eyes back into her head.
“You convinced me.” I glance at Mel.
She agrees, and Katy disappears through the library entrance. She’s a cute girl, but I can’t get a read on her. A sudden pang of jealousy sparks my heart. Hunter has her doing so much behind the scenes.
He’s not yours, Dori.
“What was that look for?” Melanie settles back in her spot.
I shrink a little. “Don’t judge me, but I got a little jealous of Katy.”
“Why? She’s nothing like you.”
“But she’s cute, and nothing’s stopping Hunter from being with her.”
“She’s cute in a way that says I do nothing fun in bed.”
I shake my head and smirk. “Not everything is about sex.”
“So you say, but I wouldn’t worry about Hunter having eyes for anyone other than you.”
My heart squeezes and aches. I grimace. “I’m not sure that’s true.”
“I know that expression, Dori. What did he do?”
“You know Isabella?” I scrunch up my nose.
Mel’s eyes go wide. “No fucking way. He didn’t.”
I shrug. “He says he didn’t, but she’s saying he was too drunk to remember and a lot more happened. And only a little while ago.”
“How did you find out?”
I tell her the details about Hunter’s and my conversation and we decide we no longer like Isabella. Truthfully, I didn’t before this, but now it’s set in stone.
Hunter and I had a few tense words about that night, but I couldn’t be mad at him when I shared myself with Jami. I still don’t like it, though.
Katy comes back not much later and delivers our drinks. She also brings us two white spa-like robes. This woman thinks of everything. No wonder Hunter leans on her like he does.
Melanie pushes herself out of the water to sit on the side of the hot tub. “About the Christmas ball… Should we go?”
“I kind of have to. Hunter and Jonah would let me bow out, but the board members will be there. I want to leave a good impression since I messed up on phase two of the launch.”
“So that’s a yes.” She glances at her phone. “We need dates.”
“No, we don’t.” I push up and rush to her. “I know you, and you are not to pick up that phone and ask anyone to be our dates. Don’t even think about it.”
“What’s it going to hurt? You’re not seeing Jame-ass anymore, and you can’t go with Hunter, so…”
“Jame-ass?”
She flashes a smile. “Yeah. It’s good, isn’t it? Kind of like lame-ass, but more personalized for him.”
I don’t know why, but I burst out laughing. She kicks water in my face and jumps back into the tub.
We relax into the rest of the morning, avoiding any heavy conversation at my request. Therapy pissed me off and I can’t deal with anything emotional today. I just need a break from reality.
Melanie’s phone chimes with an alert.
She goes to the side of the tub and punches the screen with a wet finger. “Huh. That’s weird.”
“What?”
“I just got a calendar alert from Jonah.”
“What does he want? ”
“To have dinner with him. And you and Hunter are listed as invited as well.”
“What?” I wade to her side.
She shows me her phone. Sure enough, she has a calendar invite for Monday night, here at Hunter’s place, for dinner for four. She glances over at me with untamed curiosity sparkling in her eyes.
I know I have no say in the matter. I’ll be attending this dinner party no matter what.
And I have a feeling I’ll be knocked off my feet at whatever Jonah has planned for us. This has trouble written all over it.