Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
HUNTER
Well, that didn’t go as planned. Since my dad told us he’s recruited Douglas and Gerald in my quest to change Dorothy’s contract, she’s been anxiously waiting to discuss what’s going on.
My stomach twists and turns all the way back to my place. Once we’re settled in, I prepare myself to come clean with Dorothy. I’m half expecting her to leave after this conversation.
I step into my library where Dorothy’s searching for a Christmas book to read to Jonah, Mel, and me before we all go to bed. “I thought I’d find you in here.”
She pulls out a copy of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. “This is a great book, but too long to read tonight.”
“I’d have to agree.”
“Save me some time. Do you have any short Christmas stories I can read to you guys?”
“Not one that I can think of.” I scan the shelves. “Before you look some more, I wanted to answer your earlier question.”
She puts the book she has back in its place. “Right now?”
“Yes. It would be best. ”
“Why?”
“Because I want to give you your Christmas gift, but you need to hear this first.” I gesture to the chairs in front of the fireplace. “Let’s go over there. You’ll be more comfortable.”
She shrugs and moves to the area. “But you’re not turning on the fireplace because I want this discussion to be short.”
“I’ll do my best.” My breathing accelerates. “The thing is, this has to do with my agreement with Ava.”
“Ava?” Dorothy bites down on her lower lip. “Hunter, do I want to hear this?”
“Probably not.” I swallow all my reserves. “But it’s time you know the truth.”
“Okay, then I’ll sit.” She grabs a blanket and wraps it around her shoulders.
I take a seat across from her. “Ava and I have dissolved our agreement, so most of this is a moot point. But the rest I’m terrified to tell you.”
“You’re scaring me, so just say it.”
I nod as the muscles in my neck tighten. “I’ve been working hard to right all my wrongs. You deserve that much of me. And I plan on giving you nothing but honesty from here on out.”
Dorothy tugs the blanket tighter. “Are you saying you lied to me about Ava and you?”
I clasp my hands together. “Not about our agreement, but the basis of that, yes.”
“You two weren’t…”
“For the sake of honesty, Ava and I have a long history. Yes, we’ve had sex, but not in years. I never lied to you about that. The thing is, our arrangement wasn’t about media exposure. It was a lot darker than that.”
“Then what was it about?”
“I hurt her pretty badly. When I was twenty, she found out some things about me and was blackmailing me until recently. ”
Dorothy’s eyes grow wary. “Blackmailing you? How so?”
“At first, it was for money. I was to fund her lifestyle until she got married. Then it became about me marrying her and giving her an heir to the Efron fortune.” I get up and pace in front of the fireplace. “I was young and stuck with no one to turn to, so I stupidly agreed.”
Dorothy stands and steps in front of me. “Help me understand this? What does this mean for you now?”
“That’s the good news. Ava and I have come to a resolution. She wants to move on and find someone who loves her.” I take Dorothy’s hands. “What it means is I can move on with you and not worry about Ava bringing up the past and holding it over me.”
“I’m confused. If it’s over, why come to me with this now?”
“Because it’s part of why I decided I never wanted children. When that happened, I decided no matter what, there would never be an Efron heir. At least not one from me.”
“Oh, I see.” Dorothy’s gaze scrolls over my face. “Can I ask what she had on you?”
I take a deep breath and get ready to deliver the speech I’ve been practicing in my mind for the last two days. If my dad took it as well as he did, there’s hope Dorothy will.
I release my breath and squeeze her hands. “My mother was behind it all. Not what I did, but getting Ava on board. She wanted us married and Ava pregnant by the time I turned thirty-five. It seems she was the one who wanted the heir.”
“Your mother? I thought she left you. Why would she want?—”
“I don’t know. Ava doesn’t know either. I told my father about this for the first time when I talked to him about your clause. He doesn’t have a clue, so I’m at a loss.”
Dorothy steps away, turning toward the fireplace.
“But Ava’s out of the equation now,” I say .
“How did that happen?”
“My dad went to hers. They agreed to support us and ensure nothing comes from this. Still, I’m afraid my mother is up to something and I don’t want you to become collateral damage. So, if you want to walk away from me, I understand. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
Dorothy takes a moment, pacing around the room. I give her time and space because I know this is a lot.
She stops across the room and stares at me. “Hunter, what did you do that allowed Ava that much power over you?”
My chest hardens with guilt. I want to tell her everything, but my therapist suggested I do it gently so Dorothy isn’t overwhelmed. This part will do for now.
The rest will come in a couple of days. It’s all set up, but it’s a plan that could blow up in my face. I’m prepared for the outcome either way.
“I was young and embezzled money from our company. Before you get upset, I’ve paid it all back over the years—before I knew you. My actions were wrong. I wanted to correct them, so I did.”
“And Ava found out and blackmailed you.”
“Yes. That’s why I let Ava control me. I was so scared that if my brother and dad found out, they’d disown me. I’ve been a coward and less than who I want to be. But little by little, I’m getting there. Trust me, I’m trying my damndest to be the man you deserve.”
Dorothy folds her arms over her chest. “I see that. I really do.”
“But…”
“But why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
I stride over to her and place my hands on her shoulders. “Because I was terrified I’d lose you. Terrified I’d lose my dad and brother. And honestly, I was terrified I’d lose my job.
“But I swear on everything I own, I promise never to be that way again. I told you when we started this conversion. I’m righting all my wrongs and I promise to start next year with a clean slate.”
She takes a step back, creating distance between us. “Nothing you’re doing now is illegal, is it?”
“No. The business is clean and has been for years. I’m not involved with anything that’s against the law.”
“And you’ve told your dad and Jonah about this? And they’re okay with it?”
I nod, my heart hammering against my chest. This is where she could walk out and never turn back. I stay quiet to let her decide what she wants to do.
Her posture relaxes. “You’re doing all this for me?”
“Yes. It’s all for you, but it’s not to manipulate you. I’ve needed to do this for years. You’re just pushing me to follow through and be brave.
“If it costs me everything, at least I can rest at night and know I’m worthy of having someone love me. And I won’t doubt that to be true. I’ll quit resorting to ruthless tactics and trust that I’m lovable.”
I tremble in wait as she returns to her chair, rests her face in her hands, and stares at the floor. With every second that passes, I feel her slipping away.
My chest heaves as I pull in air. “Dorothy, say something because I’m dying over here.”
She turns my way. “Besides the part with your mom, everything between you and Ava is resolved. There’s nothing that can cause Ava to say she’s changed her mind and wants one last favor?”
“There’s nothing left for her to use. She doesn’t want me. She wants a husband and a family of her own. That won’t happen if she continues to come after me. And I won’t give in to the demands anymore.”
I kneel before Dorothy. “Like I said, if I lose everything, I do. But I don’t want to lose you because I held back information you have a right to know. ”
Her eyes soften. “You’re really doing all of this for me?”
“Yes. No more blackmail. No more secrets. Just me trying to come clean with you about my life.”
I rest my hand on her heart. “You told me not long ago that you wanted closeness in a relationship. I can only give you that by telling you all this. It’s been hard as fuck, but I push through every day because you’re worth it.”
She palms my cheek. “Thank you for trying so hard for me.”
“I love you, so don’t thank me. Expect this from me because it’s everything you deserve and should’ve had from the beginning. I’m only sorry it took seeing the pain you’ve been going through to get me to realize what you’ve been asking from me all along.”
She swallows as she moves closer to me. Her lips part, and she gazes at my mouth, dropping her head slightly to the side. It’s her sign that she wants me to kiss her, and it’s the answer I’ve been waiting for. I cup the back of her neck and pull her mouth to mine.
I almost lose my breath when her tongue brushes against my lower lip, so I focus on showing her how much I want this. She’s everything to me and I’m almost at the finish line. One more thing to tell her and then I’ll know if I stand a chance.
Her whimper reminds me she’s in a delicate state. Even though I don’t want to, I pull away. She draws in a breath as her eyes slowly open. Our gaze locks and her take-me-to-bed look stares me in the face.
I push up and hold out my hand for her. “I never thought I’d say this if I found myself in this position, but we should go downstairs. It’s time to open your gift.”
She glances at my hand and shakes her head. “That’s what you want to do? Open presents?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I want.” I wiggle my fingers. “Now, take my hand and let’s go. ”
“Bossy, bossy. Don’t get all dominant on me like Jonah. At least not tonight.” She takes my hand and gets to her feet.
“Yeah… That was information I didn’t need to know.”
She laughs. “Oh. I didn’t know you weren’t aware. Sorry.”
“It’s no big deal. I’m sure he’d tell me if I asked, but we usually don’t get into the specifics of our preferences.” I intertwine my fingers with hers and lead her out of the library.
“What do you share with him?”
“The basic information.”
“Such as?”
“Such as if we had sex with someone and if it was good or not. The normal talk most people have.”
“Women discuss a lot more than that.” She slides up to my side. “You have nothing to worry about, so don’t get all weird knowing that. Anything I’ve ever said only puts you in the highest light.”
“That’s good to know.” I wrap my arm around her waist. “Are you excited about opening your present?”
“Yes, but I told you not to get me anything. I haven’t been able to go shopping, so I don’t have one for you.”
“What I’m giving you is for the both of us, so don’t think twice about it.”
We get to the sofa near the Christmas tree. She curls up in the corner of the couch and admires the tree while I reach for her gift below.
“You know, Hunter. We did a good job decorating. We make a good team.”
I’m on one knee, ready to push myself up from the floor. My gaze crawls up the tree. I rotate to her and approach her on my knees with the wrapped box in my hand.
“Team. I like the sound of that.”
She smiles down at me. “We’ve always made a good pair. And I think we could make a stronger one in time.”
“What are you saying? ”
“With time, I think we could have a strong relationship.” She pats the cushion next to her. “Sit next to me while I open what you got me.”
I slide beside her but hold her present. Her declaration about being together hangs before me.
“I need to say something before you open this.” I swallow hard and peer into her eyes. “You need to talk to Jamison before moving on with your life.”
She draws her chin back. “Why are you bringing him up?”
“It goes back to what I said in the limo on the way home from the ball. I don’t want to win your love by default. That means hearing him out.”
I want to kick myself for saying this, but if she discovers his reason and wants to try with him again, it’ll be more earth-shattering for me if we’re together. She needs to decide who she wants with a clear mind and all the facts.
She shakes her head. “Why would what he has to say override how I’m feeling about you?”
“I’m not saying that would happen for sure. I’m just saying you’re making a decision based on half the information. That won’t bode well for any of us.”
She takes my hand in hers. “I appreciate you considering that, but I’ve been thinking about this and working on it with my therapist. Jami and I have a lot of obstacles in our way. We always have. If it’s not this, it’ll be something else.
“It’s our pattern, Hunter. I won’t lie to you. A part of me will always love him, but he has hurt me beyond words by keeping something so important from me. I can’t see me getting past it.”
My heart jackhammers. I’m throwing myself on a stake, but it must be done. “What if I told you I think it’ll make a big difference if you hear him out?”
“I’d say you’re wrong.”
“Dorothy, remember when you blocked his number before? There was a good reason he left you that night. I don’t want you to make the same mistake. Not this time and not with this.”
She huffs a heavy sigh. “Say I go downstairs and he tells me everything. Do you think it’s okay that he kept that from me for so long?”
“Look at all I’ve kept from you. Don’t you think I did the same thing?”
I can’t believe what I’m doing. I want to smack myself and regain my senses, but I’m on a roll.
My moral compass has taken over. That or all of my desperation and fear has me losing all rational logic. My therapist might even say I’m self-sabotaging.
Dorothy studies me with emotions swirling in her eyes. She considers it for a moment as I prepare for this time with her to end.
Her expression clicks with resolve. “I can see why you would ask that, but I don’t think it’s the same. You and I haven’t known each other as long. And let’s be honest, I didn’t give you many reasons to trust me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I broke your trust over and over. Until last week, when I finally told you everything, I was still doing that to you. We’re just now learning to trust each other.
“I’ve known him most of my life. And he was more than my brother’s best friend. We had our own relationship and were extremely close, so I’m devastated by his betrayal. He should’ve trusted me from the start and told me about them. So no, it’s not the same.”
I stand and trek to the window.
If I tell her what I know, am I trying to sabotage this?
Is it even my place to tell her?
When I brought this up in therapy, my therapist didn’t think I held any responsibility in the matter. She said it was up to Dorothy to let Jamison explain; the responsibility was his and hers alone. But it doesn’t seem so clear right now .
She runs her hand over my back and turns me to her. “Hunter, what is this about?”
“Him. It’s about him. I love you too much to take a step forward with you, only to have you leave me for him.” My heart splits just thinking about it.
“How do you know I will?”
And that question paralyzes me with fear. My gaze skips around her face. She told me she cared about him more. His reason could very well change her mind, and she could forgive him. It’s too much to accept.
My stomach tightens. “I don’t know, but what if you do?”
“Hunter, please drop this. I promise to talk to him, but not until I’m ready. If it makes you feel better, I’ll stop enjoying my time with you. I’ll forget everything you’re doing for me. I’ll tell myself I don’t love you.”
She takes my hands. “If it helps, I’ll push you away so you keep your heart safe. It’s probably selfish, but that’s not what I want. No matter what he says, what’s going on between us isn’t something I can ignore. Now, the choice is yours. What would you like me to do?”