Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
JAMISON
My breathing picks up as I get a foot in front of her. “Dori, please tell me you forgive me. Let me make it up to you. These past two weeks have been hell not being able to explain this to you and help you understand.”
“It didn’t have to be this way.” She shakes her head and hooks me with a compassionate, tearful stare.
Hope rises through me. “I don’t blame you for shutting me out, but I wish you wouldn’t have. We love each other and could’ve worked it out much faster if we had processed this together. I tried to convey that in my email, but when I didn’t hear back, I knew you were beyond hurt. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“We love each other?” She releases a laugh mixed with a cry. “No. People who are in love share their lives with one another. They trust each other with the most painful things. They help the other be a better person. So I don’t call what’s between us being in love.”
My heart cracks as the hope disappears. “Losing him was too hard to face.”
“I’m sorry about your son, Jami. I’m sorry you and Lauren are hurting. That part, I understand, but if you loved me like you say, you would’ve found a way to tell me about this months ago.”
“I wanted to, but didn’t know how. You’ve got to believe me.”
“I begged you to let me in, but you wouldn’t. You know I would’ve been there for you, but you didn’t trust me enough to comfort you.”
The love Dori had in her eyes a minute ago transforms into a solid sheet of pain. Her words shatter my soul. I anticipated discussing this and her compassion kicking in, allowing us to find a solution.
“Dori, come on. Think about what you’re doing right now.” I reach for her. “Please don’t do this.”
She flinches away. “I’ve thought about it long and hard, Jami. I never would’ve kept something like this from you. Ever. I might have struggled to talk about it, but I would’ve found a way to tell you.”
“Why are you being like this?”
She folds her arms over her chest. “Tell me what you’ve done to show me you would risk it all for me. Tell me one thing you’ve done that puts me first and proves you trust me with your deepest, darkest secrets.”
My mind goes blank.
Where is she going with this?
I shake my head. “Dori, I was about to tell you everything. Please don’t do this.”
“But you didn’t, and I found out on my own. I can’t even be sure you were going to open up to me. All I have to go on is how you’ve treated me and our relationship over the years. Not once have you fought for me. Not once have you risked anything for me.”
Tears pool in her eyes and hang on the edge of her lashes. “I always came after Aiden, your career, or your selfish ways of dealing with your pain.”
My eyes widen. “My selfish ways of dealing with pain? What do you call locking me out of your life?”
Her expression hardens. “I needed to wrap my mind around it all to know where I stood with the information. I didn’t want your excuses to confuse me.”
“And that’s not selfish?”
“It was, but you not trusting me broke my heart.” Her resolve snaps and streams of tears trickle down her cheeks. “Why couldn’t you believe in me? You’ve known me for years and still couldn’t trust me.”
My hopes for a reconciliation tumble out of my chest and get squashed under her boot of agonizing sorrow. I’ve only seen her this sad when she miscarried.
She wipes away her tears. “Let me ask you, Jami. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?”
I consider her question. “I don’t know. Hurt, I guess.”
“Exactly.” Her eyes fill with tears again. “You’ve never trusted me.”
Guilt shreds my insides. “I… Dori… I… In my heart, I trusted you. It wasn’t about that. It was about facing it myself.”
“Really? Even that night on your couch when we were making out, before you would open up, you made me promise to be yours and leave all my feelings for Hunter in the past.”
“You’re right. I did that. What’s that got to do with this?”
“You didn’t trust me unconditionally. You had to bargain with me to reach a point where you trusted me. You didn’t want to risk telling me otherwise. I wasn’t worth it to you.”
“That’s not how I meant it to seem.” I spin away and curl my hands into fists. This isn’t going anywhere near how I expected. “Fuck, you know it wasn’t about that.”
She doesn’t respond. She doesn’t have to because every one of her words has sliced away another piece of my heart, showing me a reality where Dori finally moves on. And the worst part is, all the points she’s making are the cold, hard truth .
My body and soul deflate. I have nothing to stand on. I’ve let her down to the point I don’t think she’ll be able to forgive me, but I’m not giving up.
Conviction grows in my blood.
I pull in a breath and turn toward her. “Why didn’t you answer my email?”
Her brow furrows. “What email?”
“I sent you an email explaining some of this. You knew there was more to the story, yet you ignored that part.”
She lowers her head and wraps her arms around her waist. “I haven’t gone through my emails.”
I release a frustrated huff. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Was that your choice or Hunter’s?”
Her head snaps up. “Don’t bring him into this.”
“I didn’t.” My heart thumps harder as I point to her door. “You did by shacking up with him for the last two weeks.”
“It wasn’t like that. He was trying to be a good friend and help me through something that tore me apart.”
I nod as my eyes bore into hers. “Yeah, right. Those were his intentions.”
She doesn’t say a word. She just stares at me with silent tears streaming down her face, and it hits me. My insides twist.
I puff out a defeated laugh. “That’s what this is about. You two are back together.”
She swipes away her tears and squares her shoulders. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, we are.”
“Are you sleeping with him again?” I shudder at the thought.
“That’s none of your business.”
I can see it in her eyes. She is. My heart heats and my jaw tightens. We’re pulled even farther apart and my hate for him takes over.
“Fucking great, Dori. You couldn’t wait until you had all the facts? You just jump back into his lying arms. He’s not a good man and you’re going to get burned because you aren’t the only one in his life.”
Yep, I took it there. Why not? I have nothing left to lose.
“Don’t try that with me. He told me everything. I know you were withholding information from me about Isabella. And before you start to argue, I know about Ava too. There’s nothing there, Jami, but it’s nice knowing you were okay keeping those things from me too.”
My stomach spits out acid, and I shake my head. “I only did that because he was doing it to me.”
“I know that. Again, he came clean with me about everything. Something I wonder if you would’ve done.” She raises her brows.
I force out a sardonic laugh. “He’s got you fooled. You know he’s having you followed?”
“He has security on me because of his mother.”
“No. He was following you long before she came into the picture. How do you think we were found so quickly when we were stranded in the mountains?”
Her eyelashes flutter, and she turns to go into her kitchen. “Thank God he was. Who knows what would’ve happened if he wasn’t?”
My mind scrambles and I follow her. “You cannot be falling for this. You’re smarter than that.”
“He came clean with me about everything. He trusts me and is working to be a better man for me.” She stops at her center island as her gaze hooks with mine.
I stand on the other side. “Why can you forgive him for everything but I get nothing?”
“He’s known me for less than a year and has put more trust and belief in me than you have in years. Maybe if you would’ve done the same, things could’ve been different.”
My heart empties. “You’re just going to walk away from us and go back to him? ”
“It could’ve been different, Jami. This doesn’t land on him or me. You did this.”
“No. We all did this.” I stomp away, grab my jacket, and storm out the door.
Leaving her loft and knowing she’s with Hunter again is enough to kill me. I can’t let her stay with him. I stop at the convenience store and pick up a burner phone.
Hunter has security on Dori, and I’m not buying her reason for it. Even with Mateo’s subtle warning about reaching out to this contact of his, I’ve got to get information on Hunter and Efron Worldwide. It’s my last resort.
I get the phone charged and send the message to Pierre.
Me: Is this Pierre?
Pierre: Who’s asking?
Me: Someone who needs his services.
Pierre: ?
I remember the code phrase to give him. This better work.
Me: When in France.
Pierre: Details, then you’ll get a quote.
Me: I need information on Hunter Efron and Efron Worldwide Casino Corp. As deep as you can go.
Pierre: The fuck? Who sent you?
Me: I was asking around and received an anonymous text with your information.
Pierre: No deal. Lose this number.
Me: I have money. Name your price.
Pierre: No money in the world will do. Lose this number. I won’t ask again.
What the fuck?
I stare at the message. That exchange can only mean Dori’s involved with a family that has something huge to lose. And that realization has me frozen to the bone.
Dori’s in danger, and I have no idea how to help her. Now we’re both fucking screwed.