Chapter 9
JAMIE
Wow.
Wow wow wow wow wow.
Holy shit.
I have a date with Carmen.
I can’t sleep. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep again.
I’m too excited. Buzzing from head to toe. Buzzing? Hell. I’m practically vibrating. I’m practically rattling.
My heart is going a mile a minute, my chest swelled with excitement, the synapses in my brain firing, still trying to process everything that’s happened tonight.
My limbs are restless, my whole body inflated with too much energy.
I feel like I need to sprint around the neighborhood at full speed for about an hour and a half to burn it all off.
I want to scream. But then I’ll wake up the whole house, maybe the whole neighborhood. Then when my roommates come in to check on me and see the state I’m in, they’ll think I’m crazy. I might get committed to an institution and miss my date with Carmen.
My date with Carmen.
I literally pinch myself and breathe a sigh of relief when I don’t wake up.
This is real. I have a date with Carmen.
I know, I know. She said it’s not a date. She went out of her way to very pointedly say it’s not a date. And I agreed.
But fuck it. It’s a date.
Wings flap in my chest. I’m actually starting to feel lightheaded, I’m so excited. I didn’t even feel this way before the championship finals last year.
The art class we’re going to is on Tuesday. Three full days from now.
Those days feel like a yawning chasm in front of me. I’m like a little kid facing down the entire last week of school before Christmas.
It takes ages for the excitement palpitating through my body to diminish to the point where I can slide into bed and lie still. And my mind is hyperactive long after that. Eventually, with a smile on my face, the fantasies of my date with Carmen turn into dreams.
The past three days have felt like three years.
When it’s finally Tuesday evening, I’m in my room, psyching myself up. I’ve tried on about a dozen different outfits, finding fault with each of them when I look in the mirror.
I settle on a pair of light blue jeans with a brown sweater over a collared shirt. It looks good, like I’m putting in effort without being too formal.
I’m buzzing from head to toe as I bounce down the stairs. I grab my jacket off the hook by the door, and when I turn around to slip my arm into the sleeve, I catch sight of the guys sitting in the living room, their eyes trained on me.
“Where are you going?” Carter asks, like there’s something very conspicuous about me.
“Out,” I answer, evasive.
But there’s no evading the keen eye of Sebastian. He leans toward me, assessing. “No way. You have a date?”
What the fuck? Is it that obvious?
I mean, I guess a sweater over a collared shirt could kind of give it away.
“Holy shit, he does!” Felix exclaims, taking my momentary silence as an answer.
I shrug, trying to appear nonchalant. “Maybe I do.”
“You’ve given up on Carmen, then?” Veikko asks.
There’s another beat of silence as my lips stay shut—and then realization dawns on them.
Sebastian’s eyes pop in surprise behind his glasses. “Dude, no way. Don’t tell me.”
“You have a date with Carmen?” Felix asks, astonished.
“Well, technically, it’s not a date …”
But my roommates disregard my denial, the room filling with their noisy reactions and exclamations. They hop up from their seats and crowd me by the door, like they’re a pack of paparazzi and I’m a hot new celebrity who’s just stepped out of a trendy club.
“Fuck, man,” Sebastian says with a grin, patting me on the shoulder. “I wish I could say I always believed in you, but I wasn’t sure she would come around.”
“Be careful,” Veikko says.
“Right,” Felix seconds. “Make sure you wrap it up. We don’t need you causing an unexpected pregnancy on your first time.”
“No,” Veikko says. “I mean be careful to not do something to get on her bad side. She can be frightening.”
My smile almost reaches my ears. “I know.”
“Where are you guys going?” Carter asks.
“Just to an art class. To try something new. Like I said, it’s not a real date.” Despite what I’ve been telling myself, I feel like I should maintain what Carmen said in front of other people.
Carter wiggles his eyebrows. “When you two keep us up all night after you bring her back here, will it be a date then?”
My cheeks burn. “That’s not going to happen.”
Veikko grunts. “If she comes back here, I’m locking my door.”
Sebastian laughs. “Don’t screw this up, Jamie. You have to date her now. I can’t get enough of Veikko being afraid of someone.”
Felix grins wryly, nudging the Finn. “Don’t worry, bro. If she stays over, you can sleep in my room. I’ll protect you.’
Veikko’s face flushes. He looks momentarily flustered. Now that’s something I’ve never seen before.
I grab my beanie and tug it over my head. “Alright, guys, I have to get going.”
“Damn right,” Sebastian says. “Don’t keep her waiting.”
Wouldn’t fucking dream of it.
In fact, I’m leaving too early. I just couldn’t bear the tension of sitting in my room, waiting. Every second felt like an hour. I had to get out of there. I take a meandering walk outside, killing the minutes until I can start making my way to Last Word without arriving embarrassingly early.
My phone rumbles in my pocket. Pulling it out to check, I find a notification from the group chat with the guys who graduated last year.
Sebastian
RED ALERT, RED ALERT
JAMIE HAS A DATE
A puff of frozen air appears in the orange glow of the streetlight above me as I huff a laugh, shaking my head.
Tuck
HOLY SHIT
Rhys
With a woman? A human woman?
Carter
Believe it or not, yes
Lane
Don’t be mean to your captain, guys
Tuck
Hudson, where are you? THIS IS A RED ALERT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT
HUDSONNNNNN
I roll my eyes as a couple more messages pop up from Lane and Rhys, demanding details from Sebastian and Carter.
Hudson
Tuck, is THIS why you called me?
Tuck
Of course
Rhys
Lmao. Tuck, you really made a phone call to tell him to check this chat? You couldn’t have just told him the news on the call?
Tuck
Wouldn’t have had the same effect
It was important he find out the same way the rest of us did
You know, for team building
Lane
We’re not on the same team anymore
Tuck
Oh, we are. We’re on the team of friendship, and we play in a league far more important than the NHL: our hearts.
Rhys
Oh brother
Hudson
Okay, I’m turning off my phone now.
Have a good time, Jamie
Thanks
That’s the only thing I say before stuffing my phone back in my pocket.
Alright, I’ve burned away enough time. I sure as shit won’t be fashionably late if I start to walk there now, but who am I kidding? I’m not a fashionably late kind of guy. When I care, it’s obvious, and I don’t try to mask it. It’s who I am, and I’m not interested in trying to be someone else.
I can imagine Felix giving me his player-brained advice.
Don’t look like you care too much.
Don’t seem over-eager.
Play it cool. Be nonchalant.
Well, I do care, I am eager, and I’m chalant. I’m not even sure if that’s a word on its own, but I’m claiming it.
My breath catches in my chest when I turn a corner and see the sign for Last World up the block in front of me.
Excitement and tension sizzle through me. I try to work out the knot in my chest by pulling in a deep breath of cold air. But it doesn’t do much to calm me down. My fists are clenching and unclenching in my jacket pockets, adrenaline sluicing through me.
I’m at the door. I can see her through the glass. She looks so gorgeous that when I catch sight of her, it feels like the Earth’s axis tilts.
I reach for the door handle, my stomach full of butterflies and feeling like it’s climbing up my throat.
Here goes nothing.