Chapter 33
CARMEN
The bustle of the Brumehill campus at midday stirs something back to life inside me.
Being surrounded by people my own age, groups of friends talking excitedly, seeing people hunched over books and laptops through the windows of the little on-campus coffee shop, the flow of students coming in and out of the big library, it all gives me a longing for the college experience that I cut short.
The college experience I had wasn’t the best, and I’m glad that I gave myself this gap year for my writing and to figure things out about myself, but do I want to get back to school and finish my degree.
Even though I’m still not sure what that degree should be in.
I have a meeting scheduled with someone from the admissions department today. I’m bringing copies of my detailed transcripts so we can go over exactly what credits will transfer, how they’ll transfer, and what timeframe I can expect to finish certain courses of study in.
I’ve decided that I want to transfer here next year. I want to stay in Cedar Shade, I want to keep working at the café, and I want to study at Brumehill. I like it here. It feels like home, and I know I won’t be ready to leave it at the end of this gap year.
I’ve been weighing the options for what I should declare as my major, but I don’t feel like I’m any closer to a decision.
Stick with Pre-Med? It’ll be the path of least resistance since I already have a lot of credits. But a career in medicine never actually excited me, and can I really go through the extra years of med school, not to mention the demands of the profession, when my heart isn’t in it and never has been?
What about just studying English? I mean, okay, it’s not a famously practical choice for a college major. But at least I’ll enjoy going to my classes for once. Maybe it’ll even make me a better writer.
The puzzling thoughts in my brain come to a sudden halt when a pair of arms wraps around me from behind.
They tighten around me, pulling me flush against a firm, broad frame. The fresh, spicy scent that swims into my nose immediately tells me who it is.
I should protest his embrace. We’re not a couple, after all. And the way he’s stepped behind me and gathered me between his arms, washing his presence over every sense I have, is very boyfriend-y. Anyone looking would instantly get the wrong idea.
But protesting is the last thing I’m capable of right now as I melt into his touch. Besides, why should I care about anyone getting the wrong idea? I don’t know anyone on campus except the girls, and they already have their own ideas about what’s going on between Jamie and me.
Jamie dips his head low. Electric current coasts over my skin as the sharp scrape of his stubble rasps against the sensitive side of my neck.
“You know why I haven’t shaved for a couple days?” His question is a gravelly whisper in my ear. There’s a devious note to his voice that makes me shudder.
“Why?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about how it would feel against the inside of your thighs.” He rolls the sharp cut of his jaw against the side of my neck, the short, sharp hair raking against my skin.
A tight clench pulls between my legs. He’s right. That’s exactly what I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since I noticed he’s skipped shaving for a couple days.
I have to wait for the swoop of my stomach to settle before I can respond in a steady voice.
“Well, are you just going to talk about it, or are you going to show me?”
One thing I’ve learned from this experiment with Jamie is that a man with a mouth can really turn me on. And as much as I wouldn’t have expected it, Jamie really knows how to use that mouth of his, not just between my legs, but against my ear, too. And I’m starting to lean into giving it back.
“Is that what you want, Carmen? For me to drop to my knees, pull down your pants, and eat that gorgeous pussy of yours in the middle of campus?”
A pulse of heat blasts through me.
“All talk,” I tease.
His right hand glides down my side, resting at my waist, his fingers dangerously close to the button of my jeans. “Don’t tempt me.”
My thighs buzz, wanting to feel that sharp stubble abrading against them. It’s tempting, really tempting, to break my appointment and find somewhere more private with Jamie right now, but I’ve put off doing this long enough.
“Come to my place after your classes today,” I tell him.
“Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Before he unwraps me from his arms, he presses a warm kiss right behind my ear, where my jaw meets my neck. Excitement washes through me, but what’s more notable is what doesn’t wash through me.
Jamie just kissed me goodbye, which also felt like a very boyfriend-y thing to do. And I didn’t mind one bit.
After my meeting, I run into Harper, Scarlett, Maddie, and Jasmine as they’re walking outside together. They invite me to have lunch with them. We pick up some food from a food truck on campus, and they lead me to the dining hall where we find an empty table to sit down.
“I haven’t eaten at any of the food trucks here yet,” I say as I unwrap my meal. “I’ve thought about walking over and trying some for lunch, but never got around to it.”
“The one we ordered from is my favorite,” Maddie says.
“They make really good nachos. And they always have peach tea in stock.” A dreamy look comes over Maddie’s face, and she gazes into the distance for a moment.
I’ll have to try them sometime, because I’ve never had nachos that would make me look like that just thinking about them.
“How did your meeting go?” Scarlett asks as she bites into a wrap.
“Pretty good,” I nod. “Basically all my credits transfer over. So no matter what I major in, I won’t have to retake any gen ed requirements.”
“Still not sure what you want to study?” Jasmine asks.
I sigh. “Not totally sure. Honestly, I’m leaning toward English.”
“Woo!” Harper whoops next to me. “English majors unite!”
I giggle as I slap her hand that she holds up for me. “But I don’t know what I’d do with it, though. Like, you want to get your PhD and become a professor, right?”
“Right,” Harper answers before biting into a gyro with crispy fries sticking out of it.
“But that’s not really a path I’m interested in. I’d love to study English, but I just don’t know what I’d do with it. I spent so much time locked into a major I didn’t enjoy, preparing for a career I wasn’t really interested in, that I never figured out what I actually want to do.”
“You already have a bunch of science credits from when you were Pre-Med, right?” Scarlett asks.
I nod. She continues, “Well, you could try majoring in English for a year. If you love it, and if you find it’s helping you with your writing, awesome.
If not, you still have a ton of STEM credits and enough time to switch majors and graduate with something more practical. ”
I nod slowly, mulling over her advice. “That’s true.”
“Speaking of the English language,” Harper says to Scarlett, “I never thought anyone could be such a master of the language that they could write a spanking scene a dozen pages long and keep my attention.”
Scarlett laughs. “S. Monroe knows how to write kink scenes, that’s for damn sure.”
“Your recommendations have yet to miss,” Harper says.
“And they never will,” Scarlett replies with a wink.
“And that scene where Demetrio bought the restaurant in cash from the owner mid-meal, just so he could kick everyone out because he couldn’t stand how all the men were looking at Yasmine in her red dress.” Harper laughs, shaking her head. “So ridiculous, but she wrote it so, so well.”
“I enjoy a good jealousy scene in a book,” Jasmine says. “But men being jealous in real life?” He sticks her tongue out. “Yuck.”
Scarlett tilts her head thoughtfully. “There was a time I would have definitely agreed. But when the right man gets jealous over you? I kind of hate to say it, but it can be a real turn out.”
“Definitely,” Maddie agrees.
“No doubt about it,” Harper chimes in. “I know where you’re coming from, though, Jasmine. Jealousy can be a huge turn-off. It really needs to be the right guy for jealousy to be hot.”
“If a guy gets jealous over you and you find it hot, it’s probably a good sign for the relationship,” Scarlett proposes.
I tap my finger against my chin. This gives me an idea that I should really be smart enough not to put to the test…