13. Jax #2
“Yeah, but isn’t that going to happen at some point?” she asks, and I realize she’s right; it might have to happen one day, and the thought of her not being there to watch me play hurts my heart.
“Let’s not even think about it right now,” I tell her, wanting to change the subject. “You are now only twenty days away from being a part-time resident in the United States and the city of Chicago. How are you feeling about everything? Excited? Nervous? Having second thoughts?”
Since being out of school, Chloe has sounded like her old self. While I was worried at first that missing so much school was going to be bad for her, it seems like it has been the best decision for her mental health.
She pauses for a moment to think about her answer.
“A little bit of both. I’m very excited to be there with you and to see what it’s like to live in a different city, but I’m definitely nervous since I don’t know anybody except for you there.
I’ll have to make new friends, which might be hard for me starting in the middle of the school year. ”
“Chloe, you have such an amazing personality. You’re loyal, kind, smart and funny.
I have zero doubts about you making friends.
It’s going to be amazing having you here, but we need to think of some extracurricular activities for you to partake in so you can meet even more people.
The school has a musical theater program, and if you want to try out for volleyball, we can see if they will let you try out despite their season starting already. ”
“To be honest, Dad,” she starts, and I know what’s coming next. “I don’t know if I want to continue with volleyball.”
Her answer doesn’t surprise me. I think she’s a little scarred by her last experience. I’m hoping this is something she can work out with her new therapist.
“That’s okay, honey. If you don’t want to try out, that’s fine, but will you at least audition for musical theater? I think you’d really enjoy it. Kiley said auditions for the spring musical will be in January.”
“It depends on what the musical will be, but I’m excited that theater and art are two of my electives at this new school.”
“That’s the spirit, Chlo. I love how open-minded you are. Stay that way forever, alright? Don’t be like your grumpy old dad.”
She laughs. “You’re not grumpy, and you can change and be open-minded too.”
There’s that positivity that Chloe is usually known for. “You’re right, and I’m actually working on being more open-minded. I’m going to count on you to keep me accountable.”
“What does that mean?” she asks, and I jump on the opportunity to teach her a life lesson.
“Keeping me accountable means I need you to help me stick to my word. So, let’s say you hear me being negative or refusing to try something new. When that happens, it would be great if you call me out and help me turn it around into something positive or a new experience. Sounds good?”
“Sounds great. I’m going to be calling you out all the time now!”
I chuckle at her enthusiasm. “I hope you do, kid, but I’m going to work hard on changing my mentality so you don’t have to.”
“Can I ask you something, Dad?” she asks hesitantly, and I have a feeling we’re changing subjects.
“You can ask me anything, Chlo.”
“What is Kiley like? It’s going to be really weird being in the apartment without you and her being the one taking care of me.”
I was wondering if this subject had been on Chloe’s mind. I’m glad she’s brought it up so I can ease her anxiety. It’s going to take her being here and getting to know Kiley to fully squash her nervousness about her.
“Kiley is great. As I’ve already told you, she has been a teacher at your new school for quite some time now, so she’s going to give you the grand tour on your first day.
She’s fun, kind and super smart. I think you’re really going to like her.
I know she and Zander are excited to show you all their favorite places in Chicago. ”
I haven’t seen much of Kiley since I’ve been in and out on the road, so I’ve been checking in on her via text.
At first, her answers were short, but lately she's been warming up and getting used to my text check-ins. She told Zander the news of them occasionally having to watch Chloe and have sleepovers at my place when I’m not there.
Apparently, Zander was so excited that he made Kiley write down a list of places he wants to show Chloe.
The kid is adorable, and I think it’s really cool that Kiley has involved him in the process.
The list is called Operation: Make Chloe Love Chicago, and Zander is the ringleader.
“I really hope I like Kiley.”
“I think you’re going to and will probably view Zander as the annoying little brother you never wanted.” She giggles, and the sound warms my heart.
“I have one more question for you, and I want you to answer honestly.”
I frown at her now serious tone. “Kiddo, when have I ever lied to you? Ask away!”
“Is Kiley your girlfriend?”
I smile at the worry in her voice. “You have nothing to worry about, Chlo. Kiley is not my girlfriend. I’ve told you how I know Kiley. She’s a friend and the daughter of Killian, who I can’t wait for you to finally meet.”
“It just seems interesting that she’s agreed to take care of me while you’re away.”
Her choice of words are no way her own. Gretchen has definitely been in her ear.
“Why is that interesting to you? I’m paying her to watch you, so in essence, she’s just like any other babysitter or nanny that I would’ve hired.
This is a better deal since Kiley is a family friend. I know and trust her.
“Oh,” she stammers. “Well, Mom said she might be your girlfriend.”
My suspicions have been confirmed because that’s exactly something Gretchen would say to our daughter. I wish Gretchen would keep her mouth shut sometimes and not treat Chloe as if she’s her best friend and gossip to her.
“No, Kiley is not my girlfriend,” I confirm again, hoping that Chloe believes me.
“Do you want her to be your girlfriend?”
Now that’s an interesting question. If I wasn’t so fucked up from my previous relationship, and if she wasn’t Killian’s daughter, would I pursue Kiley? Abso-fucking-lutely. Kiley is a catch with a good head on her shoulders.
“Kiley would make a great girlfriend, but not for me.”
“Why not?”
“Because of who her dad is. If Kiley and I started dating and it didn’t work out, I wouldn’t want that to affect my relationship with her dad.”
“Couldn’t you still be friends if you guys broke up?”
“One would hope, but I don’t know if that would be possible.”
“If Kiley isn’t your girlfriend, are there others?”
“Nope, I’m single as a pringle as you kids like to say.”
“Really?” She sounds like she doesn’t believe me at all, and it angers me that Gretchen has yet again put false narratives in her head. “Mom says you have lots of girlfriends.”
That’s it, I’m going to have to have a talk with Gretchen and her big mouth.
“I promise you, Chloe, I have no girlfriends. You’re the only lady I want to spend all my time with. You’ll see when you get here. You’ll probably wish that I get one because you’re going to get so sick and tired of my company,” I playfully joke.
“I’ll never get sick of you, Dad.”
“Good answer, kiddo.” I glance down at my watch and realize I’m running behind. “I need to get going, Chlo.”
“We need to find you a good woman, Dad.”
I laugh because that’s the last thing I need right now. “All in due time, honey.
“I don’t like it when you’re alone.”
I smile with pride at her concern for me.
“Don’t worry so much about me, Chlo. There’s nothing wrong with being alone.
It’s good to figure out who you are, and sometimes other people can distract you from seeing that and what you want to be.
Besides, I’m not going to be all alone anymore.
You’re moving in and I can’t wait. We’re going to have so much fun on my days off. ”
“Really?” Her voice sounds excited. I’ve been making plans for us when I do have days off.
“Yes, really. Now I’ve got to go. If I don’t get on the bus, Coach is going to kick my ass.” She laughs, and I love how she thinks it’s funny when I curse.
“Go score a goal for me, Daddy.”
Whenever she calls me Daddy, I turn to mush. “I’ll try my best, kiddo. I love you to pieces and I’ll see you soon.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
We end the call, and I sigh in relief. My heart needed that conversation.
I needed to hear the laughter and happiness back in her voice.
I know the first couple of weeks of her being permanently in Chicago will be tough, but I truly believe her moving here is the right decision for the time being.
Core memories are going to be made, and I can’t wait.
I feel a weight has lifted off my shoulders, and now my focus can be one hundred percent on hockey tonight.
That is if the coaches don’t bench me. I give my head a shake to get rid of the negative thoughts.
Sometimes you need a rest, and if I get benched tonight, so what?
I’ll enjoy the night off and show them that I can handle any distractions thrown my way moving forward.