20. Jax
CHAPTER TWENTY
JAX
Sleeping was difficult after Kiley left.
My mind and body replayed every second she was in my arms. I was torn between feeling guilty that I let the kiss happen and wanting more.
I knew we had chemistry, but once our lips finally touched, the connection was electric.
I tried texting her, asking if she wanted to talk about what had happened, but she never responded.
Either she fell asleep, or she was ignoring me.
After tossing and turning most of the night, I finally got out of bed at five in the morning and made a hearty breakfast. I need to keep my mind occupied on other things besides last night. I’m frying up some bacon to go along with the eggs and pancakes I made when Chloe comes out of her room.
“You made pancakes?” she questions, her eyes grazing over the food I have sprawled on the kitchen island in a buffet style. “What’s the occasion?”
I lower the burner temperature and turn around to talk to her.
“Good morning to you as well, sunshine,” I respond dryly.
She must’ve just woken up because her hair looks like a beehive on top of her head and she’s still in her pajamas.
“I leave for an away game today. I want to make sure you’re well fed. ”
She gives me a skeptical look. “It’s just one game. You’ll be back tomorrow night, and you didn’t make us this when you went away last week.”
For some reason, her questioning irks me. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep and lack of response from Kiley that has heightened my irritation. “Can’t a dad do something nice once in a while?”
“I guess.”
Looks like someone else might’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed. “How about just a ‘Thanks, Dad, for making pancakes’ instead of questioning my motives?”
She huffs in frustration. “Thanks, Dad, but you woke me up earlier than normal with all the noises you were making.”
This kid is unbelievable right now. “I’m sorry I woke you up thirty minutes earlier than normal. Next time I won’t make you breakfast at all.”
She lifts her chin and crosses her arms over her chest. “Fine.”
“Fine,” I mimic her with a smirk to see how she responds. She rolls her eyes and storms back into her bedroom, slamming the door.
“Well, that was fun,” I mutter to no one but myself and continue frying up the bacon.
“Is everything okay?”
I turn around and see Kiley standing in the doorway. She’s dressed for work already, which leads me to believe she didn’t sleep much either.
“Yes, just Chloe being a moody teenager.”
She walks to the coffee pot and pours herself a cup. “I heard she was up already. Usually I have to go in and wake her.”
“Apparently my cooking woke her up.”
She looks at the food. “It seems you made a feast.”
I shrug. “I couldn’t sleep. A certain brunette was on my mind.” I see her cheeks redden as she takes a sip of her coffee. “Where’s Zander?” I ask while turning the burner off and taking the bacon out of the frying pan to put onto a plate.
“He’s still asleep. I figured I would wake him in fifteen minutes since I’m up early.”
I walk to where she’s standing, and her posture immediately stiffens. “Are we going to talk about last night?” I ask in a lowered voice.
Kiley glances at the hallway where the rooms are before speaking. “What’s there to talk about? Last night was a mis—”
I put my index finger against her lips. “Don’t you dare say it was a mistake.” I reach up and cup her cheek with my hand while I caress her lower lip with my thumb. “We both know it wasn’t, but it is something I would like to explore further with you.”
She removes herself from my grasp and puts some distance between us. “What are you saying? You want to be friends with benefits?”
It makes me happy to hear that she considers us friends. That definitely sounds better than a boss with benefits. “If you can handle it, then yes.”
She scoffs. “If I can handle it? What if you can’t handle it?
I grin as I step closer to her. “I’ve done this before; you haven’t. So, if anyone was going to develop feelings, it would be you.”
She leans her hip against the countertop and crosses her arms. “You think so, huh?”
I give her a confident smirk. “I know so.”
She looks down and fidgets with her fingernails. Her confidence is wavering. “This probably isn’t a good idea.”
“It’s only a bad idea if you catch feelings for me.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Then to guarantee that someone doesn’t catch feelings, let’s just keep it simple. No sex.”
I frown. “I thought we could break your dry spell in every sexual category.”
She smirks. “You broke my dry spell with human touch. My vibrator has been doing an excellent job giving me orgasms.”
I suck in a breath and close my eyes. Visions of her using a vibrator on herself flash on a continuous loop inside my head. “You play dirty, Kiley.”
She shrugs with a sly smile playing on her lips. “Just being honest.”
I’m about to respond when Zander appears. He’s still dressed in his pajamas and is holding the stuffed Phoenix I got him. He pulls out a barstool and climbs onto it. “I’m hungry.”
“Perfect timing, buddy.” Kiley kisses him on the forehead before walking over to the island, grabbing a plate and putting some food on it for him.
I ruffle Zander’s hair as a greeting, and he gives me a sleepy smile. I look at Kiley when she puts his plate in front of him. “This conversation isn’t over.”
“It’s over for me. I think things are pretty clear: If we decide to move forward, boundaries are set and feelings are not allowed to develop.
” She’s speaking vaguely in case Chloe comes out and overhears our conversation, which I can appreciate.
What I’m having a hard time with is her nonchalant attitude on it.
She acts like it is just a black and white scenario, where I find there’s too much gray.
I’d feel better if we came up with a solution if she develops feelings.
“If feelings develop, then we have to communicate and stop immediately,” I offer because that’s the only solution I can think of.
“Agreed,” she confirms while putting a glass of milk down for Zander.
There’s only one problem left. “What about your dad?”
She gives me a questionable look. “What about him?”
“He can’t know about our, um… situation.”
She looks at me incredulously. “You think I’m going to tell him?”
I frown. “Well, no.”
“We’re two consenting adults, Jax. My business is my business. Who I decide to—” She glances at Zander for a second to make sure he isn’t paying attention to our conversation. “—have a friendship with is my decision to make, not his.”
Her answer gives me a sense of relief. Killian can’t know what’s going to transpire between his daughter and me. I wouldn’t be able to handle the hate in his eyes if he knew. This is just going to have to be mine and Kiley’s dirty little secret.
“Then it’s settled.” I put out my hand for her to shake. “Deal?”
“I want to make a deal,” Zander pipes in, causing us to laugh.
“Your mommy is making a deal instead.” I wink at Kiley, who blushes. She grabs my hand and we shake. I hold her hand a little longer and squeeze.
“What kind of deal, Mommy?” Zander asks just as Chloe walks into the room and grabs a plate for food.
“A deal that if Chloe gets any part in this musical, she gets to pick where we eat dinner when she finds out.”
It’s damn sexy how quickly Kiley’s brain works. Chloe’s head perks up, and she looks at Kiley with excitement. “Really?”
“Really.”
“You need to shake on it for it to be a deal,” Zander interjects and Chloe and Kiley oblige.
“You better start thinking of where you want go, Chlo, because I have no doubt you’re getting a role.” I go along with the story and wink at Kiley.
Chloe nibbles on a piece of bacon before responding. “I don’t know. Everyone who auditioned was so good!”
“Positive thinking, kiddo. If you can visualize yourself having a role, then it’s yours.” I go to ruffle her hair, but she slaps my hand away.
“Dad, don’t touch my hair. You’ll ruin it for school.”
I hold up my hands in my defense. “Wow, sorry.”
I look over at Kiley for help, but she gives me a look. “You need to remember that she’s thirteen.”
“What does that mean? Of course I remember how old she is.”
“Then you need to stop ruffling her hair as if she’s three.”
“Thank you!” Chloe huffs and takes a bite of her pancake.
“But I’ve always ruffled your hair. What’s so wrong with that?”
“Because it messes my hair up, and I need it to look good for school.”
“You can always fix it,” I counter back.
“Dad,” she says in exasperation. “Just stop treating me as if I’m a child.”
My mouth drops open in disbelief. “But you are a child.”
She gives me one of her signature looks of disdain, gets up from the table and puts her plate away. I watch her walk back into her bedroom and slam the door.
“Stop slamming the doors,” I yell after her. I look over at Kiley, who busts out laughing and shakes her head.
“Her being disrespectful to me isn’t funny,” I grumble.
“Teenage girls don’t want to be treated like babies, Jax. In her mind, you’re the one being disrespectful by not taking her seriously.”
I cross my arms at my chest. “Yeah, well, she’s always going to be my baby. End of story.”
“It’s okay, Jax. You can ruffle my hair,” Zander offers in the sweetest voice that makes me forget that my own kid just broke my heart.
“Thanks, Zan-Man.”
Kiley takes one more bite of her food and then stands up. “If you don’t want to listen to my advice, that’s on you. I’m just trying to help you with her.”
“I know,” I mutter. “And thank you. I just might need you to remind me… multiple times.”
“Right, because the typical male that you are won’t recall the first time.”
She snickers at me and looks so damn sexy doing it that if we didn’t have the kids here, I would chase her to the bedroom and punish her with my mouth for her sassiness.
“C’mon, Zander, we need to get ready for school.”
He drains his chocolate milk that I made him, climbs down from the bar stool and races after his mother.
I think about Kiley’s advice while I put the food away and wash the dishes.
I know I need to accept the fact that Chloe is growing up, and I can’t treat her as my little girl all the time.
She’s been my only consistent companion since she was born, and I need to respect her wishes.
I know I’m going to mess up again as I try to see my daughter as a young lady, but I have zero doubts that Kiley will keep me in line.
Zander comes out of the bedroom, dressed for school. His brown hair is styled, and it looks like Kiley put a little bit of product in it. “Looking good, my man,” I tell him and he gives me a shy smile.
He runs to his designated shoe basket that Kiley brought with her and takes out the shoes he wants to wear. He picks shoes with laces and looks at them in confusion before glancing at me. “Jax, can you help me tie my shoes?”
“Sure, kiddo.”
I meet him at the couch, and I instruct him to sit on the coffee table across from me.
He puts his shoes on, and I proceed to show him how to tie his laces using the bunny ear method.
I untie and retie the laces a couple for him to get the hang of it and then have him do it himself.
The kid is smart because it only took him a couple of tries to pick it up.
“Nice job, dude. You did it all by yourself!” The laces could be tighter, so I hold his hands and show him how to double knot it. Once we’re done, I let go and hold up my hand for him to high-five. Instead, he jumps into my arms and wraps his little arms around my neck in a hug.
I squeeze him tight and close my eyes, enjoying holding him and relishing in the fact that he feels so comfortable with me.
When I open my eyes, I see Kiley standing at the edge of our couch, watching us.
She always has this look on her face whenever Zander shows me affection.
A look full of pride and sadness, all rolled into one.
“Time to go, Zander,” she softly says and turns to walk to Chloe’s door. I pat Zander on the back and let go of him. He gives me that cute little smile of his before running to the door to grab his backpack.
I stand up just as Kiley and Chloe come out of the hallway.
“Chloe, I’m sorry about earlier and treating you like a child. I will try to do better and remember to not ruffle your hair any longer.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
I hold my arms open. “Do I still get to hug you though?”
She rolls her eyes. “Of course, Dad.”
I take her in my arms and hold on to her tightly. “Love you, sweetie.”
“Love you too.” At least she still says that back to me.
I walk everyone to the door to say goodbye. “Have a great day at school, kids.” I give Kiley a smirk because I meant her too.
“Have a safe flight and good luck with your game, Dad.”
“Thanks, Chlo. Text me when you get home.”
“Will do.”
I hold open the door and the kids walk out, with Kiley trailing behind them.
“Good luck, and we’ll see you when you return.”
“You bet you will,” I respond with a flirtatious smile. She smiles and shakes her head before catching up with the kids.
I watch them walk down the hall, appreciating the sexy sway of Kiley’s hips. My pants begin to feel tighter, and I know I’m going to need to take a cold shower.
As I start to get ready to leave for our road trip, I know I should be focusing on the game, but my mind is already looking forward to coming back and starting mine and Kiley’s new arrangement.