Chapter 10
TEN
UDO
Udo woke up the next morning. The bed was huge. He rolled over on the high-count Egyptian cotton sheets and hugged the pillow. Steven would be doing the same just a few feet from where he lay.
He sighed. Last night’s kiss had been far more primal than the chaste one by the water. God he yearned for him so badly.
Udo also remembered Steven’s words.
It’s coming soon.
He screwed his eyes tightly shut. It was true. Neither of them could fight this forever. Yet that would open a can of worms that could ruin both of them.
Udo leapt out of bed. A shower would get his head together. He set it off and stared at his reflection in the mirror.
Who was he kidding? The more time passed, the more he was willing to take the risk. He could fool himself into thinking it would be a one-time only thing. An itch to scratch. But things had gone past that point. Whenever he wasn’t thinking about soccer, his mind was on Steven Cox.
Udo yearned to know everything about him. What turned him on. His earliest memory. Who were his friends. Everything.
Instead he got into the shower and hoped that the jets of water would calm him down a little.
Once dressed, he went downstairs to join the rest of the team in the restaurant. Most of the lads looked perky enough. Except poor Ingvar who had sunglasses on.
He stood when Udo approached and held his hand out.
“Thanks, man.”
“Anytime.”
The other lads must’ve heard about Udo and Shaun’s rescue mission as they all nodded in his direction.
Udo beamed and took his seat. “I’m starving.”
They all straightened up as Steven approached. Udo tensed.
“Good morning, all,” Steven said.
He frowned at Ingvar.
“What’s the matter with him?” he asked Adam.
“Migraine.”
“Hmmm, you’re lucky I’m in a good mood.”
His gaze swept over Udo and to Ewen.
“Decent breakfast?”
Ewen nodded.
“Is he on drugs?” Shaun, who was on Udo’s other side asked. “He’s grinning like the bloody Cheshire Cat.”
Udo had no desire to be drawn into that conversation. Especially with Shaun. Not now things were on the up ever so slightly.
“Must be high on life. I need food and quickly.”
He got up and made his way over to the buffet.
The hotel served everything anyone could wish for. Bagels, kippers, porridge and the obligatory full English breakfast.
Udo opted for berries and yoghurt.
“Very healthy.”
Steven stood next to him. He was peering at the cold meat selection.
“I’m sorry about last night. I came on a bit strong.”
“Don’t be silly,” Udo replied. “I wanted it just as much.”
“I need to talk to you,” he said to Udo. “This afternoon when we get back. Come to mine.”
“Is that a good idea?”
“Probably not.”
Udo sighed. “Aren’t you terrified?”
Steven met his gaze. “Fucking bricking it. Listen, take as long as you need. Or we just put it to bed. I just wanted you to know how I feel.”
Before Udo had the chance to reply, Edi and Colin barged over.
“I’m getting some of these pastries for the coach,” Edi said.
“He probably won’t eat them,” Colin replied.
“No, I meant— Oh, it’s a joke,” Edi said.
Udo stared at Steven. One thing was for sure. The journey home was going to be long.
And it was. Udo had bagged a double seat to himself. Yet he couldn’t focus on anything but the back of Steven’s head. He tried to get some sleep to no avail.
Steven’s confession hadn’t come as a surprise. Yet now the words were out in the open, Udo should respond. Yet, he didn’t know what to say. Deep down he wanted Steven more than any man he’d met. His generous spirit was everything Udo had ever dreamt of.
Then Alex’s face would dance into his thoughts. When that had all gone wrong he’d simply extracted himself from the situation. Having an affair with assistant manager was a tangled web he might never get out of.
After the coach had dropped them off at Newby Park, Udo drove through the countryside. He cursed himself for not going to Steven’s. So what if something had developed? He hadn’t been with anyone since Alex. If nothing else, he was horny.
“Schei?e!”
He pulled over onto the grass verge of the lane. Switching the engine off, he wound down his window to let the fresh air in.
On one side of him were trees. The other a field with some very uninterested sheep grazing. Everything was complete silence.
Udo got out of the car and went over to the fence. The grass stretched to a small stream far in the distance.
The last time he’d been this emotional about a man had been Alex. Their first date had been in Covent Garden. It had gone from lunch to dinner to bed.
Alex’s handsome face filled his mind.
“No!” he cried out.
The sheep lifted their heads and stared. How dare he come and disturb their dinner.
“I will not let you take my future from me,” he said, quietly this time.
He meant it too. He absolutely refused to let Alex and Max hurt him anymore. He’d left the club he had always planned to finish his career in. Wasn’t that enough?
And a man like Steven didn’t come along very often. He didn’t need Udo for money or status or power.
He dashed to the car and grabbed his phone. With a shaking hand, he connected the call.
Steven answered on the second ring.
“You’re never home already.”
Udo took a breath. “Send me your postcode.”
“What?”
“Send me your postcode. We need this.”
Udo terminated the call. He could hardly focus on anything as he waited. Now the quiet became claustrophobic. What if Steven didn’t reply? How long would he sit here for?
His phone buzzed.
Udo opened the message.