Chapter 15
15
“Penny is a complete doll. She’ll curl up on your lap the second you sit down and purr to her heart’s content. If that’s the kind of kitty you want, she is the one, for sure.”
Was it the kind of cat she wanted? Truth be told, Maggie had no idea what she wanted anymore, cat or otherwise. She and Ben were at the Humane Society because despite the awful argument with Zach last week, she was determined to forge ahead in every other aspect of her life, including getting a cat, maybe even little Penny right here.
“She’s so cute,” Ben said, reaching out his hand so Penny could sniff his fingers. She was a gray tabby, four years old, past the cute kitten stage but with the sweetest heart-shaped face and big hazel eyes. As Ben tentatively scratched her head, she gave a soft, rumbling purr. Ben laughed and Maggie smiled.
“She really is a sweetie,” she remarked.
Julie, the woman who had been showing them the shelter’s various cats, gave a sage nod. “She is indeed. Poor girl’s been left on her own too long, though. She needs her forever home, and the adoption paperwork only takes a few minutes to fill out.”
Maggie hesitated. Was she ready for this? The café was set to open this Saturday, and it still felt as if there were a million things to do. She’d been working flat out getting everything ready—arranging inspections, bringing in supplies, practicing her lattes. Zoe Wilkinson and Liz Cranbury had helped to put posters all over town, and Ben had taken over the digital marketing, setting up a website and social media accounts and posting everywhere either of them could think of.
They’d put ads in all the nearby Connecticut newspapers as well, that Ben had designed. That had been going to be Zach’s job, but since Maggie had stormed out of the barn over a week ago, she hadn’t seen him once, not even for so much as a second. He hadn’t been playing online with Ben, either, much to her son’s dismay.
“Did you say something to him?” Ben had accused, looking morose, when Zach failed to appear online the evening of their argument.
“Zach is pretty busy with his own stuff right now,” Maggie had replied, wanting neither to lie nor admit the truth. “I’m sure he’ll be back online soon.”
But he wasn’t, and Maggie knew that was her fault. No doubt Zach was staying away from Ben because she’d basically told him he was a bad influence on her son. Whether he was or not, she still wasn’t sure, and that uncertainty was tormenting her when she let herself think about it, which was far too often.
“Mom?” Ben prompted as he stroked Penny’s back. “Can we get her?”
Maggie hesitated. Was this really the right time to get a cat? But when would be? Forge ahead , she reminded herself. Make a life for yourself, for Ben. “Why don’t we have a look at the adoption papers,” she suggested to Julie, “and talk about the process.”
Forty-five minutes later, they were walking out of the shelter with a cat. Ben held the pet carrier the shelter had kindly provided, Penny curled up inside, while Maggie carried the litter tray, fresh litter, and a week’s worth of food. She had already texted Joshua, asking if he stocked an “everything you need to know about cats” book in his store, and he’d assured her he did. She still wasn’t sure if she’d made a giant mistake or not, but she was tired of second-guessing herself on so many things.
“Welcome to the family, Penny,” Maggie told the cat as she unlocked the car.
* * *
Back at the café, Penny sniffed around cautiously, her tail swishing, before settling herself in a corner of one of the leather sofas, her head tucked on her paws as she looked around, warily alert but also seeming interested. Maggie couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her; the presence of a cat definitely added a coziness to the store that she’d wanted, and she hoped Penny would warm to them in time.
She glanced around the space, taking pride in how great it looked—the comfy couches, the games neatly stacked and labeled in the newly built shelves—she couldn’t look at the intricate wood carvings without feeling a pang of something like grief—and a few abstract prints and paintings of the area that she and Ben had bought from various places on the walls. In the back by the kitchen counter, there was the chalkboard menu offering baked goods from The Rolling Pin in her neatest script, along with a few illustrations of cake and coffee that she’d enjoyed drawing. Yet even as that sense of pride gave her a warm glow of satisfaction inside, she felt an ache of regret and sadness for the absence of Zach. He’d worked so hard on everything to do with the café, and she couldn’t help but feel that what they’d achieved there was as much up to him as it was her or Ben, if not more. He should have been there.
Would he show up to the grand opening in just three days’ time? She hoped so, but at this point she had serious doubts. He’d absented himself from their lives so completely… as she’d basically demanded that he do. She could hardly blame him for not being here, and yet she knew she missed him.
“Do you think Zach is going to come to the opening?” Ben asked, almost as if he’d been reading her thoughts, or maybe just missing him as much as Maggie was.
“I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “I hope so.”
Ben frowned as he slumped into one of the leather sofas, next to Penny, who stilled but didn’t move away. Progress already. “Why hasn’t he come around all week?” he asked mournfully. “And he’s not been playing RQ, either. I messaged him online and he said he was busy with the store, but…” He shook his head, his bangs sliding into his face. “I feel like it’s something else.”
“I told you he was busy,” Maggie reminded him gently as she smiled at her son. He really needed a haircut, she couldn’t help but notice. His bangs were far too long, and a trim would give her son less to hide behind, which might be a good thing. They both needed, she knew, to take steps back to a normal life—school, friends, activities. It all felt very far off, especially without Zach in the picture, cheering them on, making them laugh. He really had been good company… for both of them.
“I know you miss him,” Maggie continued, “but if he’s busy, he’s busy, I’m afraid. He’ll come back when he’s able.” Maybe. She wasn’t ready to admit to Ben her part in Zach’s absence. Whether that made her a coward or a responsible parent she couldn’t decide, but she and Ben needed to figure out a way to move on… together.
“But the grand opening?” Ben persisted. “After all the work he’s done? He has to be here, Mom.”
“We’ll see,” she murmured. It was all she could think of to say. She walked over to scratch Penny under her chin, grateful when the cat gave an approving purr in response. “Meanwhile we have this little lady to keep us company.”
As cute as she was, though, Maggie thought, a cat was no substitute for a human… especially one like Zach.
* * *
Maggie spent the rest of the afternoon doing the boring admin work for the café, which involved squinting at her laptop screen and filling out a lot of forms, while Ben did his schoolwork, Penny curled up on his lap like she’d known him all her life. Out of the corner of her eye, Maggie saw Ben absently pet the cat in his lap and she smiled. Getting Penny had clearly been a good decision.
Outside, spring was finally starting to bud—the sky was a pale blue with lemony sunshine bathing Main Street in brightness and warmth, and the tiniest, tightly furled buds on the cherry trees in front of their building had just begun to form. Maggie had checked her phone, and the weather was set to soar to a balmy fifty-two degrees. Well, you took what you could get in New England.
After several hours of sitting cramped in front of the computer, she decided she needed a break. She checked on Ben, saw he was deep into his math homework, Penny having disappeared to another part of the house, and dropping a quick kiss on his forehead—something he let her do if she was fast enough about it—Maggie told him she was going for a quick walk to “clear the cobwebs.”
“Cobwebs, Mom?” Ben looked up from the screen, shaking his head. “You sound so old.”
“Well, not literal ones,” she replied with a smile. “I’m not quite that decrepit yet.”
She slipped on her parka and a pair of ankle boots and headed downstairs, stepping out onto Main Street, which was empty. Foot traffic for the café was, she supposed, going to be pretty light. Was she crazy to have continued with this whole endeavor? Maybe, but she didn’t want to think negatively. Not anymore, even if it felt sometimes like that was all she was doing.
Maggie took a deep breath, let the cool air fill up her lungs. Although the sun was warm, the breeze was brisk; spring hadn’t quite sprung yet, although it was on the horizon. Maggie smiled to see a red-breasted robin flit from cherry tree to cherry tree. She set out up toward the village green, waving at Rhonda in The Starr Light Diner, Lizzy in The Rolling Pin and Zoe in The Latest Scoop, feeling heartened when each woman smiled and waved back. She kept going, up to the village green and around it, glad to see that the messageboards by the church, community hall, and library all sported Your Turn Next posters. Ben had done a very good job with the graphics, she reflected with motherly pride; he’d made the pawn, die, and elven figure 3D, with beams of light streaking out from each one. The writing had a retro vibe, which Maggie thought suited the feel of the café. She hoped others did, too.
It wasn’t until she was on the road out of town that she realized where she was walking to. Miller’s General Store. Had this whole clear-the-cobwebs idea really just been an excuse to accidentally-on-purpose run into Zach? What would she even say to him if she did?
Annoyed with herself, she turned around and started striding back into town. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she slipped it out to see it was her sister Lynn. She’d been avoiding talking to her for the last week because of this whole blowup with Zach, but maybe it was time to admit what had happened. Maggie swiped to take the call.
“Hey,” she said, doing her best to inject some enthusiasm into her voice. Her sister wasn’t fooled.
“What’s wrong?” she demanded. “What’s happened?”
“Oh, Lynn…” Maggie sighed. “Nothing all that much. I’ve been running myself ragged trying to get ready for the grand opening on Saturday.”
“Yes, I’m planning on being there, you know, and with bells on.”
“Are you really?” Her sister had made similar noises in the last few weeks, but Maggie had semi-discounted them, because it was a two-hour drive and Lynn was usually so busy with work.
“Yes, of course I am!” she exclaimed. “This is a big deal. And,” Lynn added, her tone softening, “I took to heart what you said to me earlier. You want this to work, Mags. Well, so do I.”
“Thanks.” Maggie sniffed and then let out a shaky laugh. “Sorry, I’ve been kind of emotional lately.”
“So what’s been going on? Because I can tell something is eating you up. I know you.”
“I know you do.” Maggie decided to be at least semi-honest. “You remember Zach?”
“The thirty-one-year-old gorgeous gamer? Yes .”
Maggie smiled at that, even as her heart ached at the thought of him. “Well, things kind of… blew up there,” she told her sister.
“I’m assuming not in a good way.” Lynn sounded briskly matter of fact, which made Maggie feel a tiny bit better. Maybe it didn’t have to be all drama and discord, the way it was in her head. Maybe there was a way through this.
“No, not in a good way,” she agreed. “We were getting along so well, and he did so much for the café, and for Ben too. But then something happened, and it made me question everything.” As succinctly as she could, Maggie explained about Memegate, forcing herself to include the salient detail that she and Zach had kissed the night before.
“Hmm…” Lynn said after she’d lapsed into a dejected silence. “That sounds… well, to quote Cicero, like a tempest in a ladle. Or as the Brits say, a storm in a teacup. But I appreciate it felt like a big deal at the time, especially for Ben.”
This was not the response Maggie had been expecting from her sister, especially not after her ominous comments when she’d first told her about Zach. “Yes, Ben is okay now,” she admitted. “Although it certainly shook him up a lot, and the last thing I needed was him going back down that rabbit hole of high school bullying.” She had to suppress a shudder at the very thought. “But… do you think I overreacted?” It was what she had been thinking herself, but if her sister, who was the Queen of Caution, agreed…
“I can’t say because I wasn’t there,” Lynn replied. “But from hearing it now, after it’s all over… maybe?” She let out a short sigh. “I guess the real question you need to ask is, Mags, was Zach a good influence in Ben’s life? I know I had my reservations at first, but the more you told me about him, the more he sounded like a pretty quality guy. So maybe you need to judge him by his actions, and not by the one thing Ben told you. I mean, Ben is fourteen. Are you sure that’s what Zach even suggested to him? It sounds, as the kids like to say, a little ‘sus.’”
“It’s what Ben took away from their conversation,” Maggie argued. “And Zach knows he’s impressionable. Vulnerable?—”
“And every adult knows you cannot be responsible for how a teenager takes your words. You’ve said yourself many times that you say one thing and Ben hears another.”
Maggie closed her eyes. The creeping suspicion she’d had over the last week that she might have made a gigantic mistake was now becoming a tsunami of doubt… and yet what could she do? “Even if you’re right,” she said in a squeezed-out voice, “it doesn’t make that much difference. I’m not ready for a relationship, and that’s where Zach seemed to want to be headed, based on some things he said.” Although maybe he’d completely changed his mind by now. She wouldn’t blame him.
“And he did kiss you,” Lynn pointed out. “How was that?”
Incredible . Maggie swallowed hard. “It was… okay.”
Her sister let out a hoot of laughter. “Maggie Parker, you cannot fool me. I bet it was amazing.”
“I thought you didn’t like Zach,” Maggie protested.
“Am I not allowed to revise my opinion based on new information?”
“Yes, but…” Maggie sighed. “Even if I was wrong about him,” she said slowly, “it’s only been a year since Matt died?—”
“Nearly a year and a half,” Lynn corrected her. “And let’s be honest, Maggie. You and Matt weren’t seeing eye to eye for a while before the accident. Years, I’d say, ever since he got that massive promotion and started insisting on country club memberships and driving a Porsche and all the rest of it. I’m not saying that means you don’t grieve him, of course, I know you do, but…” She paused before finishing quietly. “I hope I’m not hurting you by saying that to me it looked like you hadn’t had a healthy or happy marriage in some time.”
Maggie’s knuckles ached as she gripped her phone. She’d never admitted any of that to her sister before. How had she guessed? Had it been that obvious? Had she let little things slip? “Still…” was all she could manage to reply, stumbling over the single word.
“If you’re not ready for a relationship, then you’re not ready,” Lynn stated in the same matter-of-fact voice she’d used before. “And that’s fine . But don’t let fear talk you into doing—or not doing—something. And I think you owe it to Zach to get to the bottom of what happened about that stupid meme. Don’t leave it all unsaid and then try to fill in the blanks yourself, with what you’ve been catastrophizing.”
Maggie managed a weak laugh. Her sister really did know her well.
“Now, I’ve got to head back to work,” Lynn told her, “but I’ll see you Saturday, okay? Bright and early. And I’m bringing a cake, a big one, so make sure you have plenty of forks!”
“Thank you,” Maggie whispered. She really was incredibly grateful for her sister’s briskly no-nonsense approach to life. She’d needed something of a stern talking-to, and she’d gotten one.
But what was she going to do about Zach?