Chapter 49
Zamir
Nash is right behind me, pulling into our parking garage. Honestly, I don’t know how he kept up with me in his fucking yee-haw truck while I was weaving in and out of traffic like an idiot on my bike… but he sure as hell did. The pent-up anger in me needed an escape, and usually, riding is where it’s released… I park right by the elevators, throw my kickstand down, and climb off my bike as quickly as possible. The doors to the elevator close when he’s like ten yards away, yelling for me to hold the doors. I don’t.
I walk into Marcello’s apartment, yelling to him, “Boss! I’m here.” I don’t want to get shot for walking into his place unannounced. I flop down on the couch and wait for the plotting and scheming to begin. I didn’t know how I fell about fucking with Ellie’s birth control, but it definitely makes sense that a baby by what the world thought would be Marcello’s would give her the protection she needs. Honestly, after seeing her in all her glory shooting and torturing, I don’t think she is a damsel in distress. She can handle her own.
If Marcello were to just marry her, we wouldn’t be able to be seen together in public… and I sure as fuck don’t want that. That would insinuate to the old fucks in the mafia world that anyone can swoop in and steal his girl.
I want to show that woman off possessively—more possessively than I have ever wanted to with any other person. Even sharing her with two other guys, if people see us out together and she’s pregnant, they’re not going to assume it’s Marcello’s… I really don’t think these two have thought this through all the way, probably just wanting to bring their breeding fantasies to life.
1Nash comes stomping in, and it takes everything in me not to shove him against the wall and show him that this isn’t a goddamn experiment to me… but I don’t. Sulking is what I decide to do instead.
Marcello comes out of his office, glances at us, and moves straight to his small bar, grabbing a bottle of scotch and pouring us all glasses without even asking. Normally, drinking during the season is a no-no for me, but I really couldn’t care less right now. I’m about to head out to his balcony and spark this blunt up that’s in my pocket.
“I need to know what the fuck is going on with you.” Nash is standing over me all wound up, and I just want to scream at him for not putting two and two together last night… and all of today.
Marcello shoves Nash’s glass into his hand, commanding him, “Here, take a goddamn breath and drink before you start mouthing off and Z knocks your pretty teeth down your throat.” Nash rolls his eyes but does what he’s told.
I give Marcello a nod of appreciation, and Nash flops down beside me on the couch. Marcello’s been able to pick up on the shit between us. You learn to pick up on little shit and body language when you’re in this life long enough. Especially growing up with fathers like we both had. He hands me my glass, and I tap mine against his. “Here’s to Ellie being safe.” I give them a wink and down my glass.
“I’m going to leave you two to talk this shit out. I’m heading to Sin’s to pick her up. She wanted to get out today.” I nod again, and he adds, “Don’t tear up my shit if you kick his ass. And no blood on my goddamn couch.” He’s out the door before I can blink. We haven’t let her return to Shenanigans to work with it not being safe. I know she’s at least safe at Sin’s with Vincent being there. Maybe we can talk him into letting her bartend there instead. Honestly, I just want to keep her locked away, but I know she would fucking hate that shit. She sure as fuck can protect herself. Fuck, she took me to my knees in the goddamn gym.
Now, it’s just Nash and me alone in Cello’s apartment. I cross my arms over my chest and lean back onto the couch, spreading my legs out obnoxiously wide. I catch Nash ogling me out of my peripheral, and I just keep my stare on the wall. He’s fidgeting, wanting me to break the silence.
Nash practically spits, “What the fuck happened between the time of sucking my cum out of your ass and now?” He’s fuming, and good because so the fuck am I. I’ve told myself over and over again that I wasn’t going to get into bed with another baby bi, and what did I do? Exactly that… but my dumbass thought I could keep my feelings away. No, you thought he would change his mind once he had his cock in you, fuck face.
He doesn’t see it coming. I grasp his face with the hand that’s closest to him, my palm stretching over his mouth and holding both pressure points on his jaw. Holding him perfectly still, I get inches from my hand covering his mouth, grinding out, “I thought I had finally cracked both of you last night and that you all had let me in… but no, you had to fucking remind me this is all a little experimental game to you.” I shove his face away, adding, “I never thought Marcello would’ve been the easy one to get on my side.”
I’m tired of the mixed signals. We spend all kinds of time together, and you can”t tell me those celebrations on the field don”t feel like it’s just us two. The rest of the world disappears when it”s us two, and Marcello and Ellie add even more to the relationship. The past couple of weeks have been so eye-opening for me; I don’t understand how they haven’t been the exact same for him. On top of all that, he got to witness the darkest side of me in the warehouse, and it didn’t cause him to run… That was all the convincing I needed.
He lets a huff of air out, looking exhausted but conveying to me, “Z, I know I’ve explained my past to you here and there, but nothing in heavy detail.” He pauses. I turn to look at him, and he continues, “It scares me that I won’t be able to give you what you want with a relationship. My father has ingrained his homophobic beliefs into me since I can remember, but I’m working through all of that.”
I reach out and place my hand on his thigh, asking, “Are you ashamed of what we’ve done?”
“No!” he snaps out but softens his next words. “I would never be ashamed of what we do. I just know my father isn’t going to take to this well. He’s sure as shit not going to handle the news about all of us being whatever the hell we are with Ellie well, either.”
I question him, “Is his approval something that you truly need, Nash? Now that you’re away from him, I know you can see the wrong in what he taught you. Our souls want what and who they want. Whether that is a man, woman, or non-binary person, it doesn’t and should never matter… and whoever says otherwise can fuck right off. Anyone that’s been in love can tell you that.”
He catches me off guard with his next question. “Have you been in love before?”
I’m gawking at him, but splutter out, “N-no, I haven’t. Have you?”
He shakes his head. I shouldn’t get excited because he hasn’t experienced love, but my chest swells, hoping it’ll be me or Ellie who gets to gift him with that love. Or shit, it might end up being all of us simultaneously.
“I know you would be able to give me everything I’ve always wanted out of a relationship, Nash. Your worry that you wouldn’t is proof enough.” I grab his hands, making him stop wringing them together, and continue, “The beauty of a poly relationship is being able to lean on the others when it comes to your weaker spots.”
He grabs the back of my head and pulls me into his lips, us both humming in contentment.
Marcello filled us in on Ellie and her sleeping pills while she was in the shower, explaining that these are going to allow us to do what we need to tonight. He made Doc swap out her whole bottle for a double dose, so it’ll keep her knocked out while they do everything. Why he couldn’t just dose her with two pills, I don’t know, but I’m not questioning that man.
Nash decided to get up and go “help” her in the shower, and I’m sure she has that man in there on his knees. As she should. I’m half-tempted to get up and follow suit, but I hold back. Marcello’s leaning his ass against the kitchen counter, one leg crossed over the other, with a glass of bourbon in his hand. I’m silently sitting, admiring the specimen of a man in front of me.
We all know he was stalking Ellie—well, besides Ellie. He had to have his fix, but he couldn’t risk her safety. She still has no clue who it is, and I’m sure the stalking situation has slipped her mind since she’s been here while she hasn’t heard a peep out of said stalker and is fully entertained getting cock by the boatloads.
The stalking and obsession add to Marcello’s allure. He’s tall as fuck, built like a brick shit house, and completely unhinged; he’s the total package. What else does a man need?
But I don’t have him. He’s just someone I can appreciate from afar.
I hear footsteps behind me, and Nash speaks up, “She’s dosed. We should be good to go in about thirty minutes.”
1.Someone Else - Loveless, Kellin Quinn