Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
NOAH
Noah ran down the stairs and knocked on Tito’s door. The sun was shining for once. There might be no training today. That didn’t stop Noah wanting to seize the moment and get outdoors.
Tito opened up.
“Ah-ha, my other neighbour. Come on in.”
Noah walked in to find Jonas sitting on the couch.
Ever since Jonas and Adam had been together, Jonas had spent most of his time at Adam’s gorgeous house.
Noah didn’t blame him. He had a pool and a jacuzzi.
Plus Adam was still grappling with being a father.
Olive was a beautiful child. As she grew, she demanded more time.
Something Adam and Jonas were only too happy to give.
“Wow, we are honoured,” Noah said, flopping down next to Jonas.
“Don’t start,” he replied. “Life’s been busy.”
Tito sat in the chair opposite. He was dressed to impress in figure-hugging jeans and a cashmere sweater. Why did Tito always look like he was about to pose for a magazine?
Noah always felt scruffy in his tracksuits.
“Who fancies a run?” Noah asked.
Jonas shook his head. “No can do, I’m afraid. I’ve got a photoshoot in town.”
Noah frowned. “What for?”
“A new hotel. They want some local celebrities to pose. There’s me, a soap star and a YouTuber.”
“I could have done that.”
Jonas chuckled. “You can’t have all the spoils, Noah. You’ve got the new gym in Brockton.”
It was a measly contract and so far the only one that Dean Jack, their agent, had come up with despite tons of offers.
“Dean needs to put more effort in,” Noah grumbled.
“He’s too loved up,” Tito replied.
Dean, their manager, had got together with Howard, the PR guru for Brockton at Christmastime. They were head over heels in love and didn’t care who knew about it.
“Gross.”
“I bet they’re at it morning, noon and night,” Tito said with a cackle. “Howard looks like a hungry man.”
Jonas and Noah groaned. The thought was too much to bear.
Thankfully the moment was broken by Marge letting herself in. She marched into the room and dumped a cool bag onto the kitchen counter.
Tito leapt up, clapping his hands.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“Curried goat, rice and peas and a ton of bammy,” she announced.
Tito kissed her on the cheek. “Hey, guys, who wants a late lunch?”
“Not for me,” Jonas said. “I’ve got plans after the shoot.”
Noah frowned at the plastic containers Marge was unpacking. This would not be sanctioned by the nutritionist at Brockton.
“I’d better not.”
“Nonsense,” Marge said. “This stuff will make you play better.”
Noah smiled weakly. “Maybe a taste.”
Jonas got up. “I’d better be going.”
“I’ll come for a run with you,” Tito said. “Give me five minutes to change.”
He headed for his bedroom and was immediately stayed by Marge’s firm grip on his arm.
“Oh no, you don’t,” she said. “We agreed that you were going to tidy up that spare room of yours.”
Not one for visitors, Tito used his spare room as a closet. Noah had been in there and it wasn’t for the faint-hearted. Haphazard was an understatement. Even so, Tito never failed to come up with a decent outfit. There had to be some form of order.
“I sorted you out loads of stuff last time,” Tito whined.
Marge narrowed her eyes. “And then you appear to have strewn the remaining stuff all over the place. It needs tidying.”
“I can do that when I get home.”
“Not with my supervision,” she replied. “In there. You will learn this if it’s the last thing I do.”
Tito’s shoulders dropped. “Looks like I’m busy.”
Noah caught Jonas’ eye and they burst out laughing.
“You’re amazing, Marge,” Jonas said.
“I’ll go for a run on my own,” Noah added. “You’re doing much more important work here.”
“Be here for two,” Marge said. “This one will have finished his chores and I’ll serve up for you.”
“Perfect,” he said before turning to Tito. “Now you be a good boy and listen to everything Marge tells you.”
He patted him on the head and followed Jonas out onto the landing.
“I guess Carmine is working,” Jonas said as they walked to the main door.
“We don’t live in each other’s pockets.”
Jonas frowned. “Everything okay?”
Was everything okay? On the whole, he supposed yes it was.
“I guess. It takes a bit of time getting used to being in a couple.”
“You can say that again,” Jonas replied. “Try instantly being a stepfather too.”
“How is that going?”
The cold air hit them as they walked outside. Roll on summer.
“It’s fine. She’s adorable and I love seeing Adam with her. It’s just…well not what I thought I was signing up for.”
This was the first Noah had heard of trouble in the idyllic world of Jonas and Adam. The thought scared him. They were perfect for each other.
“Do you want to talk?”
“Maybe at some point,” Jonas replied. “You go and pound those streets and I’d better get moving. Rain check?”
“Of course.”
Noah watched Jonas stride off to his car. He didn’t like the sound of that.
He couldn’t help them at that moment. Instead he had a few miles to get under his belt. He might even add a couple so he could enjoy Marge’s culinary delights properly. He had no doubt the food would be excellent.
In the end he added another five miles to his run. Noah had discovered lots of different routes on his running app when he came to Brockton. On the whole, most people left him alone. It wasn’t a rarity to see Brockton players in the town.
By the time he got home, he was buzzing. The exercise had blown the cobwebs away.
Halfway round he’d texted Carmine to see if he fancied a movie night. He did.
Noah glanced at his watch. It was coming up to two. He had time to grab some food with Tito and Marge and get in a nap before Carmine arrived.
As he came into the flats, he remembered Jonas’ words. After the happy ever after, there was work to be done getting used to each other. Maybe that’s what made him uneasy about Carmine.
Of course, Noah had had other relationships before. They hadn’t been all-encompassing like this one appeared to be. They’d never met Malcolm or even Ashley. Now Noah had met Monica, he guessed Carmine was working up to telling the rest of his family.
Noah would support that. Whatever it took. Living openly and authentically was the only way to find happiness. Being at Brockton had only reinforced that.
The curried goat with all the trimmings had been amazing. Worth coming off the straight and narrow for. Noah had been tempted by seconds but his will power had prevailed.
Later on, he put out some crudites, homemade popcorn and chickpeas he’d covered with spices and air fried. All little tips from the nutritionist.
Half an hour later and Carmine sat on his sofa. He had put a huge bar of chocolate and multipack of crisps on the table. Noah tried not to act as if Carmine had brought toxic waste into the flat.
He must have failed as he caught Carmine frowning at him.
“Can’t you have a nibble?” he asked, waving the chocolate at Noah.
Noah kissed him on the cheek. “Only of your neck. It’s calorie free.”
He proceeded to nuzzle Carmine, who squirmed out of his reach.
“That tickles.”
Noah grinned. “What movie do you want?”
“I don’t mind,” Carmine replied. “I might not be able to concentrate anyway.”
Carmine ripped open the chocolate wrapper and broke himself a square off.
“Are you still allowed to kiss me if I’ve eaten this?”
“Of course. Please don’t come for me because I take my job seriously.”
It came out harsher than he’d intended. Carmine looked as though he’d been slapped across the face.
“I’m only joking.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I guess I’m overtired. I was going to get a nap in this afternoon. Instead I got stuck with Tito and Marge.”
Carmine frowned. “I can go if you prefer.”
Noah drew him close. “I don’t prefer.”
Quickly he put the movie on. He hadn’t liked the direction the conversation was headed.
“I was thinking,” Carmine said eventually. “How about we go somewhere on holiday in the summer? Italy maybe. Just you, me and a load of wine. I want to see you relaxed.”
Noah had been drunk about three times in his life. He didn’t like being out of control.
“A holiday sounds fun,” he conceded. “I might disappoint you with drinking. It’s not my bag overall. I don’t mind a beer.”
“Fair enough. I’ll drink the wine then.”
Noah grabbed the remote, turning the volume up slightly. He didn’t want to continue this conversation either. The worry that he wasn’t fun enough for Carmine was very real.
“How is the campaign to save your brother’s league going?”
Noah stiffened. Tonight, conversation with Carmine seemed to be a minefield rather than the usual easy chat.
“They need around a million to keep it safe for ten years,” Noah replied.
“Shit, Noah. That’s a lot of money. Do you have it?”
As usual the hairs on the back of his neck stood up when talking to people about money. Of course he had an accountant and financial advisor. Outside of that, Noah kept things like that to himself.
“I can find it,” he replied gruffly. “I might have to borrow from Malcolm’s trust fund in the short-term. I’ll pay it back in.”
Carmine frowned. Noah didn’t like the expression on his face.
“What’s the matter?”
“I don’t understand you,” Carmine replied. “One minute the only thing that’s important in your life is to secure Malcom’s future, the next you’re dipping into the pot.”
“I don’t feel comfortable talking about this,” Noah snapped.
He simply wanted to watch a movie and get to bed.
“Fine,” Carmine said. “It’s none of my business.”
“Not really.”
The silence that followed was painful.
“I’ve missed what’s going on now.”
“Answer me this,” Carmine replied. Evidently on a mission, he sat up to face Noah, who sighed and waited.
“Go on.”
“What am I to you?”
“What do you mean?”
He reluctantly stared at Carmine, who looked seriously upset.
“Am I a way of passing the time or do you see a future for us? I need to know because you’re encouraging me to change my whole relationship with my parents for this relationship.”
Noah went to take Carmine’s hand, but he snatched it away.
“I really care about you, Carmine. Don’t do this.”
“I’m being serious, Noah. Not everything is going on exciting dates or sex. We’re allowed to talk about grown-up stuff too.”
Noah got to his feet. “Here we go. Is this because you’re older?”
“What has my age got to do with it? You said that didn’t matter to you.”
Carmine stood. They were facing each other across the coffee table.
“It doesn’t matter to me in the slightest. Sometimes you treat me like a child.”
“No I fucking don’t.”
“Keep your voice down.”
The last thing Noah wanted was Jonas or Tito hearing this.
“I’m sorry, that’s out of line,” Carmine said. “I know it’s a trigger point for you because of the responsibility you’ve had to shoulder. I do understand that. I have never treated you like a child.”
Noah couldn’t disagree.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “I guess I was lashing out.”
“And that right there is behaving like a child. You’re having a go at me for wanting to talk about something that’s serious to you. Yet you have no problem telling me that I should come out to my entire family.”
“Well you should. Everyone says so.”
Carmine took a step away. “You seen very entitled to discuss that with everyone. Who the fuck do you think you are?”
“Don’t overreact. I only mean Tito and Jonas. Maybe Udo.”
“Wow. For a man who is so desperate to be seen as an adult, you can really act childish sometimes. I’m going to go.”
“Carmine. Don’t be silly.”
Noah went toward him but Carmine sprang away.
“I mean it, Noah. Why don’t you give me a call when you’re ready to have a serious relationship. One where you talk about things with me, not your friends.”
He grabbed his coat and stormed out of the flat, leaving Noah standing in the centre of the room. It had all happened so fast he didn’t really know what to do.
The part-eaten chocolate bar caught his eye. He grabbed it and threw it across the flat.
“Fuck,” he said. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
Noah didn’t hear anything from Carmine for the rest of the night or the next morning. At training it was as though he were living on a different planet.
After he’d missed another pass from Tito which could have easily been converted into a goal, Steven came running over.
“What the bloody hell is the matter with you?” he asked.
“Nothing,” Noah replied.
He heard how sulky he sounded.
“Don’t give me that,” Steven said. “Is it Carmine?”
“I said there’s nothing wrong.”
“Fine. Then get your shit together. Javier is getting seriously pissed off.”
Noah glanced over at their manager, who was watching the pair of them with a steely gaze.
“I’ve got some personal issues,” Noah conceded.
“Don’t we all? We can’t afford for you to lose it. Not now.”
Noah nodded.
“Okay,” Steven shouted. “A ten-minute jog around the touchline. Let’s go.”
Grumbling, they all fell into line. Noah found Edi next to him as they obeyed the assistant coach.
“Are you okay?” Edi asked. “You’re well off the ball today.”
Noah sighed. Why was everyone getting into his business?
“Fucking hell,” he said. “I’ve had a couple of off days. Is that really the end of the world?”
Adam and Udo were in front of them.
“It is if we lose the cup,” Adam shouted over his shoulder. “Now is not the time, my friend.”
Noah glanced to his left and saw Edi watching him as they made their way up to the far goal.
“It is Carmine, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Noah replied, breathlessly. “We’re not together anymore. At least I don’t think we are.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, mate. What happened?”
Jogging and having a heart-to-heart wasn’t Noah’s favourite combination. Yet, Steven had a point. He wasn’t being professional. He couldn’t go to pieces at this stage in the season.
“The usual. He resented how much I give to the game. It’s a fucking piss-take.”
They ran in silence for a minute.
“Can I say something?” Edi ventured.
“I don’t know. Can you?”
“I’m the main breadwinner for my family,” Edi continued, ignoring Noah’s immature response. “I understand the responsibility you have on your shoulders.”
This time Noah stayed silent. Partially because they’d been running hard for nearly five minutes. And also because Edi did have this in common with him.
“Go on,” he said.
“From what you’ve said, Malcolm isn’t suffering. Why do you have to be so bloody perfect?”
“I’m not trying to be perfect. I want to save his league and set up a charity for kids like him. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, mate,” Edi replied. “Unless you’re using this mission to avoid giving everything to Carmine. That would be pretty shit.”
The words stung. Mainly because they were true.
“I’ll speak to Carmine,” he replied.
What would he say? It had been shit sleeping alone last night. It also hurt that Carmine hadn’t been in touch either.
They were both acting like kids. Noah would have to step up and fix this otherwise he’d lose something special.
Once again he caught Edi looking at him.
“I will,” he exclaimed. “I promise.”