Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
ROXANNE SMILED at the little girl through the plastic and felt a zing run through her at the bright smile she received in response.
“I watched the Celtics game yesterday on TV.” Lindy vibrated with excitement. “That is until Da—Paul came to bring me some presents.” She frowned.
Roxanne sat in the chair beside the BCNU tent.
She reached her hand into the rubber glove that extended inside to stroke the girl’s head and was treated with another smile.
No way was she going to pay attention to Al’s recommendation that she stay away.
Especially not since her police interview had gone so well and they hadn’t arrested her like everyone feared.
This girl was such an innocent, wearing all her deepest emotions out in the open, exposed for all to see.
How could she possibly be Brian’s daughter?
But then Roxanne had to scold herself for not allowing Brian the benefit of the doubt.
He’d had ample chances to lose his innocence somewhere along the way since childhood.
After all, she’d lost her own when her mother died.
She welled with fresh admiration for Lindy. She lost her mother and she cried about it, often at night, according to the nurses. But most of the time she’d remained a charming, upbeat little girl.
“You can still call Paul Daddy for now, Lindy. The jury is still out on that one.”
“I want to call them both Daddy.”
“That’s a good idea. You’re a very lucky little girl to have two daddies aren’t you?
” Roxanne confronted the issue rather than dance around it.
The psychiatrist had advised it was the best way to handle Lindy’s family situation so there’d be no surprises.
As long as she was getting enough love and attention, she wouldn’t be harmed by it—theoretically.
At least Roxanne would do her part to provide attention and as much love as she had in her for the girl. She had to admit she was impressed with Paul’s commitment to the child. She knew Brian still wondered if Lindy would be better off with Paul than himself in spite of his promise to step up.
“My mother said the same thing. She said Brian gave me my genes and Paul gave me everything else. I think genes count most don’t you?
My mother said I was lucky to get such good genes and a good example too.
But I’m not sure what she meant.” The little girl grimaced as she shifted uncomfortably.
“It hurts a lot today, Roxanne. They did an examination on me.” She paused before continuing tentatively.
“I cried a lot. It was too hard not to.”
Roxanne took Lindy’s hand and tried not to cry herself. Her heart squeezed at Lindy’s words. Struggling for a bright note, she searched her mind for a change of subject. “What did you think of your dad’s basketball game?”
“Bar—I mean Daddy—played terrible didn’t he? One of the nurses watched it with me and kept saying that everyone has an off day. But the announcers weren’t very nice saying all kinds of bad things about him. I didn’t like that. But it was fun to watch when he scored baskets.”
Roxanne was charmed by the changing expressions on the girl’s face. She laughed and nodded her head in agreement. She’d wished she hadn’t stayed for that game yesterday afternoon.
“Yeah. I know what you mean. It wasn’t a picnic to watch in person either. I didn’t have to listen to announcers, but some of the fans heckled the team.”
“What’s heckled mean?”
“Saying bad stuff about the players. But they have to realize those guys are people just like you and me and they can’t be great all the time, right?
” Roxanne wasn’t at all sure what Lindy thought of Brian, but she wanted to be sure she got as real a picture as a kid could get about a high-visibility superstar that everyone else seemed to talk about.
“I guess so.” Then she looked at Roxanne, obviously getting ready to say something big. “Roxanne?”
“Mmm hmm?”
“Where am I going to live when I get out of the hospital? Am I going to live with Daddy or Paul?” The little girl needed reassurance and Roxanne quickly searched her mind for some kind of comforting answer to the impossible question.
“I’m not sure, honey. But what I am sure of is that you will live with someone who loves you very much, whoever it is.
Okay?” Roxanne held her breath and watched Lindy’s face.
It was the best she could do for an answer to that loaded question right now.
Brian hadn’t been sticking to the schedule Al had set up, and Paul Paris knew it.
Everyone was speculating on the subject of the custody suit these days, so she shouldn’t have been surprised to hear the question from Lindy.
“Who do you want to live with, honey?” Roxanne couldn’t resist the quiet inquiry.
“I want my mother.” Tears glistened in Lindy’s eyes as she struggled not to cry.
“It’s all right to cry, honey. I know what you mean.
I wish I had my mother right now, too.” Roxanne stroked the girl’s cheek, comforting her the best she could from the wrong side of the plastic.
She wished she could give the little girl a big hug, but she didn’t dare take the liberty of removing the plastic like Brian had.
When she’d lost her mother she was older and she’d had Bonnie, but she could imagine the girl’s suffering.
If it weren’t for those damned germs. When Lindy opened her eyes and looked up at her finally with a wan smile, she realized she had let a few tears escape too.
The nurse came in then with lunch and Roxanne prepared to feed her. Thank goodness Lindy turned the conversation to more innocuous subjects while she ate. Roxanne wasn’t sure she could survive another of the little girl’s test questions.
Lunch was nearly finished when Harry came in and walked slowly up to the pair with a furrowed brow. “Roxanne, I have to speak with you about something.”
Roxanne left the nurse to finish the meal with Lindy and immediately stepped into the hall with Harry. Her mind was a blank at what it could be about. There were too many things that had gone wrong lately, so she waited for him to speak as he fidgeted with his tie.
“Dr. Evans wants to see you in his office now. It’s about this police investigation of Don’s murder. They’ve been to the hospital questioning people.”
“Don was not murdered, Harry. Don’t you go around saying that, too.
Al and I had a very long talk with the detective and I thought for sure we had him convinced.
I can’t see what he possibly hopes to find out by questioning people here.
” Roxanne was more than annoyed, although she tried not to take it out on poor Harry.
“Yeah, well he seemed pretty interested in your love life, if you want to know the line of questioning.”
“I guess I’d be foolish to think he’d take my word about that subject.
Even though I’m the only one who really knows anything about it.
All he’s going to find here is speculation, rumors, and gossip.
Harry, do you know he grilled me for hours about it, asking some very personal questions?
And he expected answers?” She grew angry at the memory. But anger felt better than panic.
Harry shook his head and his frown grew deeper, if that were possible. When he patted her back, she knew she was in trouble.
“Roxy, if you want me to come with you to Evans’s office, I will. I’ll stay right there with you even if he wants me to leave.”
This was too much. She turned to the big Potato Head of a man and gave him a hug, as much because she loved him as to hide the tears that had the audacity to show up now. Roxanne straightened from his grasp without a sniffle and looked straight into his sad, wise eyes.
“Thank you, Harry. I’ll never forget that offer.
But I’ll face Dr. Evans alone. All he can do is fire me.
” She smiled a genuine smile at that and sighed as Harry nodded in admiration.
Then she walked down the hall to the elevators to go to the office of the Chairman of the Board of Children’s Mercy Hospital. Without looking back.
The feeling of uneasiness didn’t overtake her until she was almost inside the office.
Then the familiar clenching in her gut returned.
She’d walked all that way with only determination arming her to face whatever she had to hear.
But as soon as her mind started clicking in, anticipating the worst and dreading the consequences, it took a much greater determination to make her legs carry her inside the door to what she was now sure was to be the doom of her volunteer fund-raising career.
She squared her shoulders, looked down at her attire and laughed. She’d been dressed only for visiting with Lindy that day. She wore jeans and a sweater. At least it was the right color. Black.
She pushed the door open and walked in. Standing in front of his secretary’s desk, she folded her arms in front of her and steeled herself for the worse.
She ignored the constriction in her throat.
Her nerves jumped and her stomach felt like a Maytag.
The young woman told her in a very quiet voice to go in.
Roxanne looked once at the door with the man’s name and title on it.
She took a deep breath to settle herself, then proceeded inside.
She wore no smile and no frown. She felt no dread. She felt absolutely noting. It was almost as if she were orchestrating her movements from outside her body. She’d detached herself from physical feeling.
The heels of her boots sank quietly into the deep carpet of the office as she entered the office.
The doctor seemed absorbed with the papers on his desk.
She stopped only when she came smack up against that desk and then, to be sure she had his attention, she sat on the edge of it.
Poised with one leg crossed over the other and her arms crossed in front of her chest, she glanced down at the balding man as he glanced back up at her.