16
Phoebs is brimming with a confidence I wish I shared when we meet for a coffee ahead of our first exam on Tuesday. I’ve barely left my bedroom for two days, reading pages and pages of notes on corporate ethics and responsibilities, but all too frequently my thoughts have drifted to Ben– how it felt to have his arms round me, how my heart swelled when he said he could get used to it, how I might be in danger of falling for him.
But there’s a nagging doubt about him in my mind as well, because he’s notorious for the number of girls he’s hooked up with and yet he didn’t even try to sleep with me. I know we kissed, and I don’t doubt he enjoyed it, but I can’t help wondering if he cut the evening short because he decided he didn’t feel that way about me after all.
‘It doesn’t make sense, though, because he video-called me yesterday to let me know he was thinking about me and sent me a good luck text this morning, saying he couldn’t wait to see me at training later,’ I tell Phoebs.
‘Maybe he was worried it might make things awkward now you’re sort of working together,’ she says. ‘You’ll just have to see how he is with you this evening. But I did warn you not to let yourself get carried away with this.’
If I was sensible, I’d skip the training completely just for this week and next. I’ve got two more exams on Thursday, then one each on Wednesday and Friday next week. But I’m determined to always be there for the team– it’s not just because I want to see Ben.
‘I really don’t feel very prepared for today,’ I admit to Phoebs.
Also squeezed in around my revision there was the Crawford United team blog to write and our new season ticket offer to promote, after we decided to sell ￡100 tickets to the first one hundred purchasers before increasing the price to the ￡200 we hope fans might be willing to pay.
But in the end it’s not that I don’t know the answers to the questions that trips me up in the exam, it’s more that I don’t plan my time properly– which is so unlike me. So I fail to get a few key points down on paper before the bell rings to signify our time is up.
‘Thank goodness that’s over,’ Phoebs says, linking her arm through mine as we walk out of the exam hall. ‘One down, four to go. How do you think you did?’
‘As well as I could have, not as well as I might?’
‘Yeah, that sounds about right. I think I’ve done okay though. I managed to answer everything. So I was thinking, I might reward myself by taking this evening off and coming to Crawford’s training session with you. Then I can help you try to suss out where you stand with Ben... and, you know, just casually remind Craig I exist.’
‘I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten. But yes, please do come. I’d appreciate your take on things. I was going to tell Dad I’m going to yours afterwards though, to cover up sneaking off with Ben again. Will that still fit in with your plans for Craig?’
‘I just want to say hi. I’ll still be able to cover for you. I could even drop you over at his house after if it makes it easier. Then I’ll get to check out this lush pad of his. From the outside, that is. I’m not about to invite myself in and get in the way of your love life.’
‘That would be amazing. Thanks, Phoebs.’
We treat ourselves to a plate of tacos at Hamcott’s best Mexican café before we head to the academy– a mini celebration for getting our first exam out of the way– but we make sure we’re at the training session well before the players so Phoebs can try to engage Craig in a bit of banter before it begins.
It’s hard greeting Ben with a handshake when all I really want to do is kiss him. Even his hand feels different in mine today, reminding me of the feel of it touching my body. I have to force myself to let go after telling him it’s good to have him with us again.
I have to be careful not to focus on him too much in the videos I take of the session too, for Cassie to review later. But I’ll admit I do zoom in on his face a couple of times while the camera is off. He’s more attractive than ever when he’s absorbed in the sport he loves probably more than anything else in the world.
It’s Phoebs who first notices I’m not the only one pointing a lens in his direction. She nods her head towards the entrance gate. ‘Have you seen what’s going on back there?’
I turn to see a couple of photographers tracking Ben’s movements with their cameras. It was always a possibility, I suppose, once the news was out that he’s here. I hand Phoebs my phone. ‘Here, carry on filming the players, would you? I’m just going to alert Dad, Cassie and Ben.’
Cassie tells the team to grab a quick drink break when she sees me beckoning them over.
‘You have more experience of this than any of us, so how do you want to play it?’ I ask Ben.
‘Just let them get on with it. When they see I’m genuinely here to help and that there’s no big story behind it, they’ll lose interest and go away. I’m not about to engage with them, but I wouldn’t try to prevent them from filming either. In my experience, the harder you try to stop them, the greater lengths they’ll go to, to find another way.’
Dad nods. ‘Lily, why don’t you and I head over there and just answer any questions they might have about Crawford. Hopefully that will be enough to keep them happy. Ben, you and Cassie can crack on with the session.’
‘On it,’ she replies.
And the photographers do, thankfully, seem happy when Dad greets them warmly and agrees to answer a few questions, telling them he’s delighted to know Crawford will be making the headlines again, while flashing his most disarming smile. I think the homemade biscuits he offers them go some way to ensuring we keep them onside.
He politely declines to bring Ben over to join us and even manages to sound quite protective of him. ‘Ben is busy with the team and won’t be making a statement today. But what I can tell you is that he’s a local lad who just wants to give back to the place where he’s from. We’re aware of his past but what we see before us is a young man who’s made mistakes and is trying his best to redeem himself.’
Satisfied with this soundbite they eventually leave us to it, which is a huge relief to me. Their renewed interest in Ben could have made it hard for me to meet him in secret, if they’d decided to start following him around. But I guess they know from when the fan incident first happened that they’re unlikely to get him to talk about it.
When we wrap up the session, Phoebs gets straight in with Craig for more of a chat, while Cassie, Dad and I work our way round thanking the other players. It takes longer now we’re getting to know each other better. There’s more familiarity so there’s more to talk about.
Eventually I find myself in front of Ben and I’m amazed no one can tell how attracted I am to him. He winks when he says he’ll see me again soon and I can’t help but smile knowing just how soon it will be.
Phoebs confesses, once we’re in her car, that she’s swapped numbers with Craig now. ‘But he more or less told me he doesn’t want a girlfriend while he’s focusing on the team.’
‘Well it’s good for me to know he’s taking Crawford so seriously, but I’m guessing that isn’t what you wanted to hear?’
‘Oh no, I told him that’s just fine with me. I’m perfectly happy with no-strings sex while I’ve still got exams to do. And after that, there’ll be a job to find, so it’s not like I haven’t got my own stuff to deal with.’
‘So did you arrange a hook-up?’
‘Not yet, but I’m pretty sure we’re building up to it. I can be patient. Up to a point, that is.’
She lets out a low whistle when we pull up outside Ben’s house. ‘I think I might have changed my mind. I do want to come and see inside.’
‘I’ll send you some photos,’ I promise her, laughing. ‘I’ve got little enough time with him this evening as it is.’
She pulls away as I walk up the driveway, and when Ben opens the door, inviting food smells waft out from the kitchen.
‘I wasn’t sure if you’d be hungry so I’ve started making a Thai curry,’ he explains, after a quick– much quicker than I was expecting– peck on the cheek.
Doubt creeps back in as I follow him into the kitchen. I can’t help wondering, when he turns his attention straight back to the pans on the stove, if he’s making himself busy to avoid kissing me properly or even talking about what happened the other night. I know it’s ridiculous when not so long ago I was worried he just wanted to sleep with me– now I’m worried he doesn’t!
As the TV’s on in the background we end up discussing things we’ve watched recently while he’s busy cooking. He never puts Top Goals on because it feels too much like work, but he says he could imagine getting sucked into Dying Days after I’ve described it to him.
Then the conversation drifts back to Crawford United and I mention Phoebs’ newfound interest in Craig. ‘I’m hoping she doesn’t distract him too much,’ I admit. ‘Especially once we start playing matches.’
‘I actually think I’m more focused when I’m in a relationship,’ Ben tells me. ‘On the rare occasions when I’ve had someone I care about watching me play, I’ve been even more determined to win.’
‘And there I was thinking you were just out to impress all the ladies.’
I’m laughing when I say it, but he turns round and frowns. ‘Is that what you think of me?’
His creased forehead makes me hesitate. ‘Well yes, if I believe what I read in the papers.’
‘I thought we’d talked about the nonsense that gets printed about me.’
‘Only in the footballing sense.’
He sighs. ‘Some of the girls they picture me with are people I’ve never even spoken to who’ve just asked for a photo, but life’s too short to waste my time trying to correct all the stories. A few have been genuine dates, but others were set-ups by Millford’s PR team. I think their hope is that one day I’ll like one of them enough to get more settled. But they’ve never asked me what I might be looking for in a relationship.’
‘What are you looking for?’
‘Someone who I get on really well with,’ he says. ‘Not someone who’s just motivated by money and sex. Someone whose ambition isn’t just “being famous”, who’s interesting and funny and passionate about what they do.’
I’m just about to say this doesn’t sound like too much to ask for when he adds, ‘Someone like you, I guess.’
My heart flutters as our eyes meet. It doesn’t sound like he thinks the other night was a mistake, but until I’m a hundred per cent sure I’m still hesitant to admit he’s ticking a lot of my boxes too. Deciding there’s only way to find out, I tell him I definitely don’t care about the money or fame. ‘But the sex...’
There. I’ve put it out there. I hold my breath as he reaches behind him and puts the spoon that was in his hand down on the counter.
‘Remember what happened last time you distracted me while I was cooking?’ he asks, a smile creeping on to his lips.
I smile back at him, feeling bolder now. ‘Don’t curries taste better if you leave them to simmer?’
He takes a step towards me. ‘Are you trying to lead me astray?’
I tilt my head up towards his, a challenge in my eyes. ‘I might be.’
We’re inches apart now. ‘What happened to wanting a Roy Keane tackle more than to be seen with me?’ he asks.
‘No one has to know,’ I remind him.
He tucks his hand behind my neck and brushes his lips against mine in a way that makes my insides go gooey.
‘I was trying to be good,’ he murmurs, reaching behind him again to turn off the hot plates. ‘And go about this the right way.’
I wrap my arms round his waist. ‘Didn’t we do being good on Saturday?’
His smile gets even wider and I finally get the kiss I wanted.
This time there are no kitchen emergencies to interrupt us and I do get to feel his hands on every part of my body. He caresses my buttocks through my playsuit and gradually trails his fingers up to my breasts. I can’t stop a soft moan escaping from my lips as he gives a light squeeze that hardens my nipples. Pressing against him, I can feel him stirring in his shorts and it’s a thrill to finally feel confident that he’s as into me as I am him.
At some point we move to the sofa, where he tips me back against the cushions and lowers himself onto me. He nuzzles my neck as I curl my legs around his, then finds my mouth with his again as I slip my hands under his T-shirt.
I don’t know how much time passes like that, but I feel like I could kiss him forever. And when he shifts his weight to the side of me to free one of his hands up, he makes me smile mid-kiss as he starts caressing my breasts again.
‘You like that,’ he whispers. I nod my head, oh yes.
And I like it even more when he discovers my playsuit is loose enough at the top for him to be able to push the material to one side, exposing my bra. He circles my nipple through the lace with his thumb, then pushes that aside too and cranes his neck to take my nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it and sucking gently.
My body tingles as I watch, and the tingles intensify as he lets his hand drift down to my waistband, where it lingers tantalisingly. I reach down and guide it lower, and he starts a slow, circling massage that makes me so aroused I can’t help but push my hips towards his.
He explores the bottom of my playsuit but realises there isn’t an easy way to get underneath, and for a moment I think he’s just going to stop what he’s doing, but in the time it takes me to think, Please keep going, he’s sat up, drawn me upright and is helping me wriggle free of it.
With only my bra still in place, he pushes me gently back against the cushions and spreads my knees wider so he can bring his head down between them. My body trembles as his tongue strokes against me and I push my hands into his hair, my breath growing ragged as he teases my clit.
‘That feels so good,’ I murmur breathlessly as I teeter on the edge. When he pushes a finger inside me, my body arches in ecstasy.
‘Are you ready?’ he whispers against my skin.
A frantic nod. My God am I ready.
He moves his tongue back to my clit and flutters faster than ever, seeking out my G-spot as he pushes another finger deep inside me. My grip tightens on the sofa as he takes me closer and closer to orgasm until suddenly I lose control, my body jerking and juddering as it tears through me.
He doesn’t withdraw his hand or mouth though, stretching out my climax until I have to beg him to stop. ‘Please, I can’t take any more,’ I finally manage to gasp, feeling light-headed and panting heavily. I don’t think I’ve ever orgasmed as hard as this.
For a moment I can’t even think straight and I look at him in bewilderment. I had no idea my body could feel this way.
‘Are you okay there?’ he asks, with a devilish grin.
I shake my head. ‘I’m not sure. I think you might have broken me.’
He leaps athletically to his feet. ‘I’ll get you some water.’
I still haven’t moved when he comes back with two filled glasses.
He hands me one and I finally prop myself upright as he sits back down next to me. Neither of us can stop smiling. I still can’t believe how good he made that feel.
‘Looks like it got pretty late,’ he says eventually, nodding at the dusky sky outside the window.
‘Time really does fly when you’re having fun,’ I agree.
‘I’m glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching you come.’
‘Even my screwed-up come face?’
This makes him laugh. ‘I thought it was sexy. And you haven’t got a look at mine yet.’
‘I’ve nearly recovered,’ I tell him.
He smiles. ‘That wasn’t a hint. It’ll keep till next time. I don’t want to rush any of this. So I was wondering, rather than another short evening together on Thursday after training, how would you feel about spending the whole day with me on Friday? I know you’ve got more exams next week so I understand if you can’t. I just thought it might be nice to have more time together, but that’s me being selfish.’
‘I’d love to,’ I say quickly before he talks himself back out of it. ‘I’ll need a day to regroup after the back-to-back exams on Thursday. I very much doubt I’ll be productive if I throw myself straight back into it.’
‘Then how about we meet mid-morning and head out somewhere? I’ll think of something good, to give you a proper break from all the stress.’
I tell him that sounds lovely. A whole day with Ben! The thought of six hours in a stuffy exam hall suddenly seems a lot more tolerable now I’ve got that to look forward to at the end of it.