27
The next morning Ben pulls two exercise mats out from under the bed and asks if I want to join him for a stretch in the rising sun. We roll them out in the garden and I watch him fold himself into positions that don’t look like they ought to be possible– he’s been practising yoga for years. I do my best versions alongside him.
After breakfast we head off for a long walk through the countryside, eventually circling back to the cosy country pub we spotted right at the beginning to grab some lunch. Then we spend the afternoon playing cards in front of our hut, with me mostly winning up to the point when I suggest the loser should shed an item of clothing after each game. Ben’s luck suddenly takes a turn for the better and I accuse him of hustling. But it’s not long before we’re both semi-naked and the cards are discarded pretty quickly after that.
We barbecue steaks for our dinner, which we have with the red wine. Then we sit by the firepit, Ben’s arm round my shoulder, my head resting on his, listening to the sound of the logs crackling in the flames.
I reach for his other hand and thread my fingers between his. ‘This has flown by so fast. I can’t believe we’ll be back in Hamcott tomorrow.’
‘I may have another little something in mind for the weekend after next,’ he confesses. ‘To celebrate your exam results, if you’re up for it. You did say you get them that week, didn’t you?’
He’s right, but I’ve been trying not to think about it– that last paper still fills me with a sense of foreboding. ‘Is it another glamping trip?’ I ask, looking up at him.
‘Something different.’ But he doesn’t say what.
‘So I’m not getting any clues this time either?’
I don’t mind, though, when he shakes his head. I’m getting used to our secret adventures and he hasn’t had a bad idea yet.
‘You know you don’t have to keep spoiling me like this, don’t you? I mean I love it, obviously, but I’d want to be with you even if we were just round at yours watching telly.’
‘I know and that’s why I want to do it. You never expect it and you always appreciate it. Plus I love seeing you smile. It makes you even more beautiful.’
My cheeks flush at the compliment and I nestle my head back on his shoulder, feeling happy and lucky and like I never want this to end. And it suddenly feels like the perfect time to confess something that I’ve been keeping from him, even though it’s been on my mind with increasing frequency.
I say it into the flames, scared to watch his reaction in case it’s not what I’m hoping for. ‘I think I’m falling in love with you, Ben.’
I hold my breath, heart pounding as I worry that it’s too much too soon. But he tucks a finger under my chin and turns my face towards his. ‘I’ve been falling for you since the first day I met you,’ he says, making a gazillion fireworks explode all around me.
We stare at each other for a moment then we both burst out laughing.
‘I’m so relieved we’ve got that out of the way,’ Ben says.
‘It was kind of nerve-racking,’ I agree. ‘I hadn’t planned to say it first.’
‘I almost said something last night but I didn’t want it to look like it was just because of the sex– not that it isn’t a bit because of the sex. But it’s so much more than that. You’re just so easy to be around. It feels, I don’t know, like we were meant for each other or something.’ Then he checks himself. ‘Sorry, that sounded so corny.’
‘It’s okay. I feel exactly the same way.’
His expression turns serious for a moment. ‘This isn’t going to be easy, you know. Conversations are starting to happen about my return date to Millford, but I didn’t want to say.’
‘Is it imminent?’
‘Nothing’s agreed yet, but it will be sometime in the next few weeks. They’ll want me to have a decent amount of training time with my teammates before they put me back out on the pitch.’
‘But we’ll still be able to see each other?’
‘On Sundays we’ll definitely be able to meet in person, but I’m usually stuck in a hotel wherever we’re playing on the Friday night before a match, even for home games, and the team always travel back together afterwards. But I’ll be able to get down to Hamcott late on Saturday or first thing Sunday– or you can come up to me. I’d have to head back Sunday evening. There’s always a post-match analysis on a Monday first thing.’
It’s hard not to feel like the odds are stacked against us. ‘It’s going to be tough going to that from all this.’
‘I know, and I wouldn’t blame you if you decided it was too much to deal with. FaceTime can make up for some of it, but I know it’s not the same. I’d never ask you to miss Crawford training, but if you ever felt you could skip it on a Tuesday, you could stay up at mine a bit longer. I could get my apartment set up so you could work from there at the start of the week. I know that’s asking a lot though, and I don’t want it to sound like I think my life is more important. All I know is, when I go back, I don’t want it to be the end of this.’
‘I don’t want that either.’
‘Then we’ll find a way to make it work,’ he promises. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’