33
With nine days till my resits, I crank my revision up another gear. While I hate being less involved in the running of Crawford, I want to make sure I get this box ticked off so I can put my student days behind me and turn my attention to whatever lies ahead.
I do still make time to see Ben, but our evenings are much more low-key, spent mostly at his cooking dinner together before I reach for my textbooks while he watches Netflix. He sits on one end of the sofa wearing headphones so as not to disturb me– I sit with my feet in his lap, so he can massage them while I study.
When my eyes get too tired, the TV goes off and he turns his attention to the rest of my body. I can’t think of a better way to wind down after hours of poring over my notes. As soon as his lips find mine, all thoughts of social media strategy go out of my mind– temporarily, at least. I think we have sex on the sofa more than anywhere else during this period.
I miss him on the nights when I stay in my own bed, but at least it gives me a night off from Dad moaning that I’m throwing my education away. He doesn’t believe I do any work while I’m at Ben’s, but the truth is, I probably get more done there than I do at home. There’s something about wanting to make sure there’s time for our extracurricular activities that makes me very focused.
At mine I get distracted by text messages, trips to the fridge and occasional visits from Phoebs. She does come with the intention of testing me on some of the topics we think will come up in the resits, but inevitably we end up talking about Ben and Craig.
Phoebs is now seeing Craig a few times a week, but she still refuses to call it a relationship. ‘The moment we put a label on it, it won’t be the same any more. I’m happy as things are,’ she insists. ‘I like to call it my sixty-two-night stand.’
‘Has it really been that long?’
‘I’m going for a world record.’
‘You might just win it. But wouldn’t you prefer to know you’re exclusive? That he’s not seeing other people when you’re not with him?’
‘I’m using reverse psychology on him,’ she says, waving her hand dismissively. ‘By leaving it open, it makes him wonder if I’m really into him. Then he has to try a little harder to make sure I am.’
I can’t help laughing. It’s not how I’d want to do things, but it does appear to be working.
‘So do you think Ben’s going to ask you to move in with him now you’re round there most nights?’ Phoebs asks.
‘If he didn’t have to leave soon I think he might.’ More and more of my clothes have ended up staying at his place and he hates it whenever we have to say goodbye. ‘But once he goes back to Millford he’ll only be there himself once or twice a month at most, so I’ll be back here for the most part with just the odd night at the Whitehouse.’
I’ll miss it, I realise. I feel so relaxed there and associate it with so many good times.
I admit as much to Ben on the last day before my exams. Having decided I can’t possibly take in any more information, we’re in the garden playing table tennis until he goes off to Crawford’s Thursday night training session and I go home for an early night.
‘Why don’t I give you a set of keys, then you can pop over whenever you want to,’ he offers. ‘My family use the pool a fair bit when I’m not here but they won’t mind. I get it if that would be a bit weird though.’
‘It’s hard to imagine doing lengths alongside your nan.’
‘I was actually going to ask how you felt about staying in a hotel on some of the weekends when we meet up after I head back to Millford. I thought we could maybe find a few places halfway between here and there, so we can meet up a bit earlier than we’d be able to if I was coming back to Hamcott. If you don’t mind a bit of a drive, that is.’
‘Of course I don’t.’ I’m keen on anything that will mean spending more time together.
‘I did have a quick look and Stratford Upon Avon is more or less in the middle,’ he says. ‘I think that’s meant to be pretty. Or there’s a really nice-looking spa hotel just outside Loughborough. We could make a list of all the places we like the look of then just work our way through it.’
‘You had me at spa hotel,’ I tell him, laughing.
We abandon the table tennis and head for the pool loungers to make a start on our list, cuddling up together so I can also see Ben’s phone as he hunts for interesting places to stay. Although it’s a reminder that he’s leaving, listening to him plan for our future does take some of the anguish away. We get so absorbed, it almost makes him late for Crawford’s training.
I head home for a long, relaxing bath as he races off to the academy. For me, there’ll just be a bit of telly then a good night’s sleep, and then, all too quickly, retake day is upon me.
As before, I’ve got one exam in the morning and one in the afternoon, but this time there are students from all the different courses in the hall with me, so I hardly recognise anyone. Our papers are laid out on preassigned desks, and once everyone’s seated we’ll all have three hours to complete our questions, be they on Shakespeare or nuclear physics.
I wonder if I’m the only person from business studies having to resit and for a moment I’m embarrassed to have found myself in this position. But then I remind myself it doesn’t mean I’m not as smart as everyone else on my course– it’s just because I let life get in the way.
This time I’m feeling a lot more confident, because I’ve done all the preparation I possibly could. And sure enough, when the invigilator tells us we can start, a little party popper goes off inside my head once I’ve flipped over the question sheet. I know exactly what to write on all six of the topics. I won’t be failing this paper again.
Three hours later I’m not just satisfied with my efforts, I’m ecstatic. While I’m getting some fresh air before the next exam starts I send a quick text to Ben.
‘Pretty sure I’ve nailed it,’ I tell him. ‘I couldn’t have asked for better questions. One down, one to go. I hope the next one goes as smoothly.’
And suddenly I can’t wait till the second one is over. I’m so ready to get back to running Crawford United, spending time with the team and going on more adventures with Ben. If this is my last ever day as a student, I’m not in the slightest bit upset about it.
I grab a coffee on my way back to the exam hall, to give me a boost now the earlier adrenaline has subsided. So I’m not sure if it’s the caffeine or a bit of nervousness creeping back in that makes me tap my pen impatiently against the side of my leg until we’re told we can turn over our papers.
But a quick scan of the questions and my spirits lift. All I need to do is stick to thirty minutes per answer and I should sail through this exam too. The words flow on to the page, and when the professor calls time at the end of the three hours, two thoughts go through my head. One, Phoebs had better get our graduation piss-up rebooked, and two, there is now less than twenty-four hours before the first official match for Crawford United.
Ben is waiting for me outside the exam hall, which I was not expecting, with a huge bunch of flowers in his hand. I burst out laughing. ‘What’s this for, you soppy git?’
‘To celebrate if it went well and to cheer you up if it didn’t,’ he says, kissing me on the lips. ‘But I assume from the smile on your face that this afternoon went without a hitch?’
‘I’m leaning heavily towards celebrating,’ I tell him.
‘That’s what I was hoping you’d say. So what do you fancy doing?’
‘Is it weird that what I want to do first is go and sit outside the Redmarsh ground for ten minutes to try to get my head out of exam mode and focused on the fact that it’s finally time for Crawford’s debut match.’
‘Totally weird,’ he says, laughing as he threads his fingers through mine. ‘But I don’t mind doing a drive-by if it makes you happy.’
‘I think it might make it feel a bit more real after being so detached from it these last few weeks. Then maybe just a glass of bubbly or two afterwards? I want to be fresh for tomorrow, so I don’t want to go too crazy.’
‘I’ve got a bottle chilling at home– we can head back and just have a mellow evening. In about twenty-two hours’ time, I think you’ll find Crawford’s debut will feel incredibly real.’
I take a deep, calming breath. I only hope our players are ready for it.