Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
JONAS
He made every effort to avoid Adam without being obvious. They’d shared a brief moment when Adam had been holding the baby. He made for a very hot godfather.
Jonas wished he could sneak out to Adam’s that night.
Chance would be a fine thing. His best friend, Heidi, was staying over and she had the hearing of a bat.
Plus he hadn’t confessed anything to her yet.
He wanted to see if she rumbled them in the same way his baby sister had.
Then they would really have something to worry about.
They were chatting to Colin and Meg. Jonas tracked Adam as he moved around the room. He was never out of his line of sight for very long.
This is exhausting.
Adam and Goran were deep in conversation. It looked serious. Jonas hoped it wasn’t anything to do with the team.
Adam gave him an imperceptible wink.
Don’t do the wink. It drives me crazy.
“Why don’t you accompany me outside?” Heidi asked, snapping him out of the moment.
“Sure thing.”
They wandered through the party. Jonas nodded at a few people. Once on the terrace, Heidi got a packet of cigarettes from her handbag.
“You can’t smoke here,” Jonas said.
“Says who?”
“This party is full of athletes.”
Heidi opened the door and stepped through. “Good job I work in tech then, isn’t it? Come on.”
Jonas hated that Heidi smoked. They’d had many a heated discussion about it. Still, he couldn’t force her to quit. She promised that one day she would. Unfortunately, that day never arrived.
Of course, it was raining. Jonas led Heidi round the corner of the main window. He had no desire for a lecture from Steven about getting second-hand smoke inhalation from his best friend. They found a gazebo that must have been set up on warmer days and never taken down.
Heidi rifled in her handbag and retrieved a lighter. She made a big performance of lighting up before turning to Jonas.
“When did you start sleeping with him?”
What the actual fuck?
“Who?”
“Tall, heavy-set, stubble. Ring any bells?”
He and Heidi had been close since he’d first come to England over five years ago. She didn’t miss a thing. His experiment had failed. Again.
“Fine,” he said with a sigh. “Is it so obvious?”
“Only to me,” she replied. “Or anyone else who noticed your hard-on when you were talking to him. Bit of a giveaway.”
Despite his concern, Jonas saw the funny side.
“You have such a way with words. Anna busted us as well. Should I be worried?”
Heidi exhaled. The smoke dancing in the drizzly air.
“I wouldn’t,” she said. “Us girls notice far more than men.”
Her attempt at comforting him missed the mark. If these two had foiled their secret affair in record time, it wouldn’t take long for one of their teammates or, even worse, the management to cotton on.
“I guess we’re not being as discreet as we think we are.”
“Those yearning gazes across a crowded room should probably stop,” she replied. “Just a suggestion.”
“Piss off.”
When he’d come out to her, she hadn’t batted an eyelid. Having grown up in Brighton, one of the gayest cities in the country, nothing like that phased Heidi. Although she fully understood his position as a Premier League player.
“The captain, eh?” she teased. “Not bad. He’s hot too.”
Jonas grinned. “He certainly is.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Oh God, you have feelings, don’t you?”
“I might.”
“Oh shit. You’re really in trouble.”
The next morning and Heidi had the hangover to end all hangovers. After they’d rejoined the party, she’d made friends with Paloma and some of her colleagues from the soap. As a result, Paloma had opened more than one bottle of champagne while they all got to know each other.
Jonas sat on the sofa when she came into the room. Her hair tied up in a messy bun and eye makeup running so badly she’d easily get a job as an Alice Cooper impersonator.
“Oh dear,” he said.
“Indeed.”
She flopped down on the sofa next to him. Thankfully, she’d not been in the mood to analyse the event when they’d got home. He’d put her to bed and had some time to himself. Of course, his head had been filled with Adam.
“Coffee?”
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” she said. “I need carbs.”
Jonas shook his head. “No chance. The town was full of reporters yesterday. There might be a few lingering around. I’ve no appetite for getting papped.”
Heidi groaned. “Remember that time they tagged me as your fiancée?”
“Oh God yes. Gavin loved that.”
Gavin was Heidi’s boyfriend. They’d been together since school. He was fully aware of Jonas’ sexuality. Even so, he could get triggered by their friendship.
“I wouldn’t mind but we were at a Lady Gaga gig,” Jonas added. “Hardly hetero central.”
“I guess we should swerve a repeat,” Heidi said. “I’ve got to drive home, which will kill me. I don’t need an argument at the other end. What food have you got in?”
“We’ll have to order in if you want anything interesting.”
“Bloody footballers are no fun. I’ll have a sausage and bacon on white with ketchup and a flat white.”
Jonas shuddered. Heidi was stick-thin.
“I don’t know where you put it.”
“My tits.”
They both giggled. Jonas reached for his phone and fired up the food delivery app. He put in Heidi’s order then got himself an avocado wrap with a peppermint tea.
Another sacrifice for the greater good.
“It’ll be fifteen minutes.”
“Good. I’m starving. What a poor buffet they had. Especially for a millionaire’s do.”
The catering had also been healthy options only. Paloma was obsessively trying to get her pre-Petar figure back.
“How is Gavin anyway?”
To be fair, Gavin loved that his girlfriend had a Premier League soccer star as a best friend. It gave him serious bragging rights down the pub.
“Same as usual,” she replied. “Not rich. Not ripped. And not a secret. Unlike your new man.”
To be fair, she had taken longer to bring up Adam than he’d expected.
“Don’t start. Not a peep and I mean it.”
She mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key. “Not even to Gavin. I promise.”
Jonas kissed her on the cheek. “I’m lucky to have you.”
“You’re lucky to have him you mean. Is he good in bed?”
“Amazing.”
She hugged a cushion. “I knew it. Fucking hell, Jonas. You might be a hot couple one day.”
Jonas shook his head. “Adam isn’t ready to come out. Not until we’ve both finished playing, at the earliest.”
It might as well be a million years away. Did he dare to dream that one day he would walk out and proud with Adam on his arm?
Did he have the staying power?
After Heidi had gone, Jonas found himself at a loose end. The problem with having Mondays off was everything was either closed or deathly quiet. There was nothing more depressing than a restaurant on a Monday night. Even La Piazza shut up shop.
He’d been flicking through the television channels for about twenty minutes when he gave up and flung the remote across the sofa.
He was fighting the urge to pay Adam a visit. They hadn’t arranged anything as Jonas hadn’t known what time Heidi would be leaving.
He reached for his phone and called.
“Hey, sexy,” Adam said.
How had he even doubted that he would wait for this guy when he answered the phone like that and set Jonas on a high immediately?
“Hey. What you up to?”
“Nothing much. Lying on the sofa. You?”
“Same. Wanna lie on my sofa?”
His comment was met with silence. Not how Jonas had expected it to go.
“Adam?”
“I caught Steven staring at me yesterday. After we’d finished chatting.”
Jonas frowned. “Do you think he suspects?”
“Honestly? Yeah I do.”
“Bollocks. Heidi rumbled us too, by the way.”
“What?”
He could have cut his tongue off. If Adam was stressing about Steven’s suspicions, confirming Heidi had figured it out would not help.
“She knows me too well,” he said, quickly. “I had to be honest.”
“Shit,” Adam replied. “It’s getting out of control.”
While Jonas recognised Adam had far more to lose than him, he didn’t like the sheer horror in Adam’s tone.
“What are you saying?”
“Nothing. Maybe we should cool it for a week or so.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t be like that.”
“I’d better go,” Jonas said. “I’m going downstairs to Tito’s.”
“I thought you wanted me on your sofa.”
“Too dangerous. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jonas terminated the call. His temper had always been his worst enemy. He sprang off the sofa and walked over to the window. The streetlamps were on, but the night hadn’t yet covered Brockton.
“Fuck,” he said. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
His phone was vibrating. Probably Adam. Jonas had enough self-awareness to realise any further conversation would be disastrous. He’d call him later that evening.
It was so unfair. And as for Steven potentially sticking his nose in. Just because he’d managed his relationship with Udo so badly didn’t mean Adam and Jonas would do the same. Jonas hated a hypocrite.
A night of obsessing beckoned. Jonas would not do that. Instead he grabbed his keys and stormed out of the flat.
He didn’t go very far. One flight of stairs in fact. He’d said he planned on visiting Tito. Jonas wasn’t about to become a liar on top of everything else.
Tito answered on the second knock.
“Jonas. Come in.”
He followed Tito down the hall and into his lounge where Noah in the chair.
“Great minds think alike,” Noah said.
Jonas managed a smile and flopped down on the sofa.
“Oh dear,” Tito said. “Someone’s got the post-win blues. I was giving Noah here a fashion show. I went into Manchester today.”
As usual clothes were strewn over the other sofa. They appeared to be new, judging by all the tags on them.
“Wow. You spent big,” Jonas said.
“No pockets in shrouds.”
“I presume there are in Gucci trousers?”
“Correct.”
Noah shook his head. “You haven’t got that bonus yet.”
Tito shrugged. “I’ve plenty of cash. Even with the shitty wages they pay here.”
He wasn’t wrong. All three of them had taken significant pay cuts to move to Brockton. So far, Jonas questioned whether it had all been worth it.
“What’s up with you?” Tito said. “Unburden yourself.”
He jumped on the couch next to Jonas.
“Nothing,” Jonas said. “Like you say. A comedown from the win, I guess. How was Manchester?”
Tito glanced at Noah and bit his lip. “I viewed an apartment.”
Both Jonas and Noah snapped to attention.
“What?” Noah asked.
“Calm down. I’m only window shopping. I might get a place there too.”
It did feel like their bubble was under threat. Tito had every right to do whatever he pleased. Even so, things were changing rapidly. Jonas gripped the sofa arm.
“I don’t intend on being single for long,” Tito explained. “I’m more likely to find a decent guy there than in Brockton. Even you two have to admit that.”
Now that Jonas couldn’t deny. Brockton was a small town. He suspected Tito had drained most of its gay resources.
“What will you do, Noah?” Jonas asked. “We’ve only got these flats for this season.”
Noah shrugged. “Not sure. I quite like the idea of building my own place. Nothing fancy.”
Tito frowned. “You’ll have to get a move on if you want it ready by the summer.”
“I’m not talking a mansion or anything. As long as it has a view.”
Noah remained an enigma to Jonas. He seemed very content to let Tito have the attention. Yet when Jonas was alone with him, there was a depth to the lad that amazed him.
“Even so,” Tito said. “You need to get an architect quick bloody smart.”
“And you, Jonas?” Noah asked.
Would he even be here next season? He hoped so but something stopped him from committing fully to Brockton.
“I’ll rent something.”
Tito frowned. “Why not buy?”
“If I see somewhere nice, I will. I can’t be arsed with the whole search and furnish shit.”
He wasn’t convincing anyone. Much less himself. That afternoon a flame of doubt had ignited within him. Jonas wanted it to go out. He really did.