CHAPTER ONE
NOAH
The Christmas tree stood like it always did with the same baubles they’d decorated it with for over ten years. The music never changed and neither did the menu.
Noah Farman found this the most comforting thing about Christmas Day. His day-to-day life was full of change. The familiarity felt warmer than the reindeer jumper he was wearing.
“That was an amazing meal,” he said.
Ashley Hudson, his unofficial second mum, sat across from him. She still had the paper hat from a Christmas cracker on her head.
“You didn’t eat much. Can I get you a mince pie? Or maybe a sausage roll?”
Noah rubbed his non-existent belly. “I’m as stuffed as the turkey was.”
They were in the lounge surrounded by gifts they’d all excitedly ripped the wrapping paper from hours ago.
Ashley’s son, Alfie, was fiddling with his new phone and her daughter, Ella, was glued to the Nintendo. Both given by Noah. They were almost the same age as him but he loved to spoil them.
When Noah had come to live with Ashley and her two kids, he’d been a child with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart. His parents had hated that he would live with another family but there hadn’t been any choice. If he’d wanted to play in topflight football, sacrifices had to be made.
“Thanks for the England tickets,” Gordon, Ashley’s boyfriend, said as he squeezed on the chair with her. “Shame you don’t get to play for your country.”
It was sore point and he knew it. Noah had been considered for the national team on a few occasions but had never quite made it.
“Maybe one day,” Ashley said, glancing nervously at Noah.
“There are a lot of good defenders out there,” Noah replied. “I’m just happy that I get to do what I love every day.”
“Quite right too,” Alfie piped up. “At least you don’t have to go into an office with a gang of idiots.”
Noah grinned. “Still enjoying it then.”
“It’s shit.”
“Only another forty-five years to go,” Gordon said.
Alfie glared at him. Noah had shared Alfie’s room the night before like they’d always used to. Noah was well aware of Alfie’s feelings toward his unofficial stepfather.
“I’ve got news,” Noah said. “I wasn’t going to tell you until things were properly underway but I’ve got myself a Christmas present.”
“That’s good,” Alfie said. “You don’t enjoy your money enough. What is it?”
“I’ve bought a plot of land on the outskirts of Brockton. It’s even got planning permission for a small dwelling.”
“Oh, Noah, that’s wonderful news,” Ashley said. “You’ve always said you wanted to build your own place.”
The expression on Gordon’s face suggested he disagreed.
“How ridiculous,” he said. “It’s only your first season. You might not stick it out. You’d be much better staying in the apartment the club have paid for.”
Noah gathered up some glasses.
“Leave them,” Ashley said. “Settle yourself.”
“I’d better be going,” Noah replied. “I’ll help you load the dishwasher first.”
They grabbed the other empties and wandered into the kitchen.
“Sorry about Gordon. You know what he’s like.”
“I don’t know what you see in him,” Noah replied. “He’s such a downer.”
Ashley chuckled. “His big dick might have something to do with it.”
Noah put the glasses into the machine.
“That is way too much information.”
Ashley placed her load down on the kitchen counter and put her arm around Noah. She cuddled into his side.
“You take care of yourself, sweetheart,” she said. “I’m so glad things are working out at Brockton.”
Noah kissed the top of her head. She’d been a constant presence for more than half of his life. He had no idea what he would have done without her over the years.
“Call me when you get home,” she added.
“I will. I’ll be with Malcolm for a couple of hours though.”
Ashley looked up at him. “You’re a good man, Noah Farman. You make me very proud.”
Noah drove through the gates and under the arch that read Spruce Court. There were four buildings on the plot. Each one named after a tree. Malcolm had been thrilled when he’d moved in ten years ago.
Noah had just got out of his car when Malcolm burst out of the door and ran into his arms.
“Hey there, superstar,” Noah said. “Happy Christmas to you.”
One of the residential staff, Mrs Brownbill, came out. She was a friendly woman with a shock of pink hair. Malcolm adored her.
“Hi, Noah,” she said. “Season’s greetings.”
“And to you.”
Malcolm was stuck to him like a limpet. Noah breathed in his smell. He’d missed him.
“Thank you for everyone’s gifts too,” Mrs Brownbill said. “You really do spoil us.”
“You’re all worth it.”
Malcolm was wrapped up warmly. It touched Noah that he had on a Brockton FC puffa jacket.
“Is this new?” he asked.
Malcolm nodded.
“You know I can get these things for free?”
“I wanted to buy it with my own money.”
Malcolm had recently started a job in a large office in Birmingham. He was in the post room and loved it.
Noah had been nervous the whole first week. In fact, Noah worried about Malcolm a lot of the time.
“Are you ready?”
“Yep. Will you hang out when we come back?”
“Of course I will.”
They both got into Noah’s car and set off.
“I’ve missed you,” Malcolm said.
Guilt twinged inside Noah. He tried to visit as often as possible. Not easy when juggling a soccer career.
“I know,” Noah replied, squeezing Malcolm’s leg. “I’ve got to earn the cash though. How’s your football going?”
“Good. I scored three goals.”
Noah glanced at him. His brother’s face was full of joy.
“Three? That’s amazing. Even Tito hasn’t scored three yet.”
Malcolm beamed. He’d been mad on football all his life. Noah supposed it ran in the family.
They drove into the car park. Noah reached into the back and grabbed the bouquet of flowers he’d brought.
“Come on then.”
He and Malcolm solemnly walked through the rows of gravestones. A few other people were there to pay respects to loved ones on Christmas day. Noah watched them. So many memories were being relived at that moment.
They both knew the way. Neither spoke until they found the right spot.
“Here you go,” Noah said, handing the flowers to Malcolm. “Why don’t you put them down?”
Malcolm gently laid them on the graves.
“Happy Christmas, Mum. Happy Christmas, Dad,” he said.
This got Noah every time. It had been almost twelve years since they’d gone. On birthdays and Christmases it never got any easier.
Malcolm returned and snuggled into him. His body heat a welcome break from the cold snap in the air. As was their tradition, they both stood in silence for a little while. Noah remembered the family Christmases they used to have. Full of fun and laughter.
The guilt of living never truly left him. Deep down he knew that they would be proud of him and what he was doing for his brother.
“Let’s go,” Noah said, eventually. “It’s cold.”
They walked back to the car and drove to Spruce Court once again.
Malcolm was three years younger than Noah. He didn’t have lots of memories of their parents. He’d only been nine when they’d passed. Noah had been twelve. A lifetime ago.
“Shall we have a kick-about?” Malcolm asked. “Bella and Jonny made me promise I’d ask you.”
“Why not?” Noah replied. “Keep your coat on though.”
It was a crisp winter’s day and perfect conditions. Malcolm tore off inside to get his friends. Noah went to the front lawn.
In no time, Malcolm returned with his two friends. Noah had met them on many occasions. They both hugged him tightly.
“Thank you for my football kit,” Bella said.
She must have liked it because she had the top on.
“You’re welcome, Bella,” he said. “Thank you for looking after my brother.”
She giggled. “He looks after me.”
The three of them shared a large apartment in the court. There were plenty of facilities on site but the ethos was to support independent living. So much progress had been made in caring for those with Down’s Syndrome. Spruce Court was one of the frontrunners.
“Will you come to watch our next game?” Malcolm asked.
They played in a league of ten residential communities. Malcolm lived for it. They’d won the title on more than one occasion.
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“We’re going to win again this year,” Jonny said.
Noah ruffled his hair. “I believe you. Hey, you three. I have some news.”
They all stopped.
“I’ve bought some land,” Noah continued. “And I’m going to build a house on it.”
“You can build a house?” Bella asked.
Noah chuckled. “Not me personally. But I’ll find some people who know what to do. Then I thought you three could come and stay sometimes.”
Bella clapped her hands together. “Slumber party.”
“That’s right.”
Malcolm hugged him. “I’d love that.”
“I would too. Now let’s get this game going,” Noah said. “It’s too cold to be standing around.”
Jonny ran to his side. “Can I play with you?”
“Of course you can.”
Things were coming together. Ever since he’d started making decent money, Noah had had a plan for Malcolm. It had been a struggle but he wouldn’t let his brother down.