Chapter 20
JAMISON
We’re on the way home from Melanie’s going away party. Dori seems a mile away.
“You’re quiet. Is everything okay?” I ask.
She stops staring out the car window and peers my way. “I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” I take her hand in mine. “I would like it if you talked to me about whatever’s going on in that head of yours. If this is going to work, I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything.”
She peeks up at our security man, George. He’s driving us home, probably pretending not to listen. I squeeze her hand for encouragement.
She nods. “Okay, but I want to preface this by telling you I wouldn’t change being with you these last few weeks.”
My stomach twists as a sliver of anxiety pumps through my veins. “Should I prepare myself for a fall?”
“No. That’s not what I meant.” She scoots a little closer to me. “It seems like you’re just waiting for me to leave you.”
She’s not wrong, but I don’t want to discuss that now.
I place my good arm around her. “Tell me what’s on your mind. Let me be here for you like you have been for me. ”
Her hand moves over my heart. “It means a lot to me that you want me to lean on you.”
“I’m always going to be here for you, Dori. I love you, and you’re my partner. This is what you should expect from me.”
“Being here with you like this and hearing you say things like that is unreal.” Her eyes sparkle even through the darkness of the night. “I never thought we would get here. It feels kind of surreal.”
“I know what you mean.” I inch over and press my lips to hers, giving her a sensual kiss. No matter how many times I do this, I’ll never get sick of her.
I pull away. “Is being with me why you’re quiet?”
“No. I’m in my head because I realized tonight that I don’t have a job. It’s not like I didn’t know, but it hit me hard after seeing Jonah and Hunter.”
“And that upset you?”
She lowers her head. “I won’t be working with them anymore. If I’m being honest, I’m sad about it.”
My shoulders go slack. “I’m sorry, sweetness. I should’ve paid more attention to how you’re feeling about that. I know that was your dream job.”
She peers up at me just as the car pulls into the parking lot of our building. “You’re not angry with me for feeling this way?”
“Not at all. There are a few things about you I know for sure. One of those is how much you loved working there.”
George pulls into a parking spot and turns off the engine. He gets out of the car and looks around the area. When he’s done, he nods, telling me we can get out of the vehicle.
He opens Dori’s door. She grabs her purse and slides out.
She pops her head back in the car. “Do you need help?”
“No, I should be good.” I reach for the door on my side.
George opens it, and I shift to get out. My back and chest muscles tighten, but the pain isn’t as terrible as it has been. I take a breath, and with a grunt, I push off the seat .
Dori’s by my side in a matter of seconds. “Don’t try to be a hero, Jami. I’m here to help you.”
“You are helping, but I need to start doing some of this on my own or else I’ll never get through it.”
She laughs. “Okay, stud. I’ll let you do it on your own.”
I get to my feet and roll my eyes. “I thought we agreed you were going to use a different pet name.”
She brings her lips between her teeth and gazes at George.
Her eyes come back to me, and she’s smiling mischievously from ear to ear. “You mean grumpy?”
“No.” I grab her hand and lead her into my complex. “It sounds like you’re asking for a reminder.”
“Maybe?”
As we follow George to my apartment, my mind wanders to all the sinful ways I could teach her a lesson. After he checks out the place, he leaves Dori and me alone. She excuses herself to the restroom.
I have the guys who rotate as our security team using the guest bedroom on the main level. It gives us protection and privacy.
I’ll be grateful to get rid of them, but I won’t risk it until I know Dori’s not in danger. Her life isn’t a game to be played with.
She returns to the living room a few minutes later. She’s still wearing the jeans and a royal blue sweater she wore to Melanie’s party.
The sweater is made of a delicate material and fits her like it was made for her. Her waist looks tiny, while her breasts look perfect. My pulse accelerates just at the sight of her.
“Why are you looking at me like that, Jami?”
I saunter her way. Well, as much as I can with my injury. I slide one of my hands behind her neck and one around her waist to pull her into me.
“You’re gorgeous, and I’m so fucking happy we’re together.” I seal my lips to hers .
The air around us does a snap, crackle, and pop with sexual energy. She melts in my arms as our tongues caress one another.
My desire to take her to bed is about to take over, but I need to finish our conversation. She needs to know I want her for more than sex.
I pull away and rein myself in. “Before this heats up and I can’t stop myself, let’s finish our talk.”
“That’s what you want to do right now? Talk?” A tinge of annoyance floats across her face.
Who knew she was such a pouter about not getting sex?
I didn’t see that one coming. I file it away and give her my full attention.
“Dori, we have the rest of our lives to explore each other. Right now, I want to make sure you’re okay.”
She softens. “You’re such a good man.”
I half laugh. “For doing what’s right and checking in with you emotionally?”
“Yeah. I don’t know any other man that would put a conversation about how I’m sad over losing my job above wanting to have sex.”
“That’s because you haven’t been with the right guy before.” It’s out of my mouth before I consider who her mind will go to.
Hunter.
She bites down on her lip and steps out of my arms, twisting to the side.
Shit.
I really need to be more considerate with what I say around her.
She meanders into the kitchen and pulls out a stool to sit on. I give her a moment of silence while staring at her, showing her she has my full attention.
“Jami, can I ask what you and Hunter talked about when I went to get a drink with Melanie?” Dori gets comfortable as I take a spot across the island from where she’s sitting .
“I wanted to tell him I’m not going to step aside. I warned him if he ever hurt you again, I would fight for you for the rest of my life. He needed to know I plan on keeping my word.”
“And what did he have to say to that?”
Does she want him to fight for her?
I tilt my head and study her. “He made a comment about you warning him I was in a terrible mood.”
Her eyes round. “I did no such thing. I didn’t even see him until we approached them.”
“He said you told him that while you two were at dinner the other night. He probably said it, thinking it would get us into a fight.”
Her face pales. “Jami, it wasn’t like that.”
“What wasn’t like that?”
“Dinner with him. It wasn’t romantic. I went to tell him our relationship was over. He asked me how you were, and I said you were grumpy because you were still in the hospital.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about going out with him?”
She blinks a few times. “I… Honestly, I don’t know. I could say because I didn’t want you to worry, but it seems like that would be a little too late.”
There’s a part of me that isn’t buying her excuse. I fold my arms as I shift my weight from one leg to the other.
“Did you think it would bother me to know you were out with Hunter?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. Your answer isn’t going to get me angry. I’m just trying to understand.”
Her shoulders roll forward. “I didn’t tell you because I thought you would focus on that when you needed to rest.”
“That’s fair, but I would’ve rather known. I don’t like Hunter gloating over something you hid from me. It makes it seem like we don’t trust each other.”
“That’s understandable.” After a brief second, her brows narrow. “Why would he tell you about me having dinner with him and sharing with him you were in a bad mood? How would that even come up?”
Her naivety leaves me shaking my head. “He will always find a way to fit things into our conversations that he wants me to know about you. It’s how he works. How do you not know this by now?”
A fleeting memory of the day he slipped and told me how Dori welcomed him home in the best way possible flits on the screen of my mind.
I almost bring it up, but decide better of it. It will only upset us both, and that’s his goal. I’m not going to let him ruin us.
“I just thought...” She takes a deep sigh. “I thought he had changed.”
“Just because he came clean with you about every ruthless thing he’s done to sabotage our relationship doesn’t mean he’s changed.”
She gives me a pointed stare. “You went after him too.”
“Oh, no you don’t. You don’t get to put that on me when he was the one who came at me first.”
“But you engaged with him.”
“I never would’ve gone after him, but I’m not the type of guy to step aside and let someone walk all over me. I may not be ruthless, but I am a fighter. How do you think I’ve gotten where I am today?”
A few beats pass as the last few months come rushing back. They were brutal, but now we’re here. As much as I hate most of what occurred, I guess that’s the way it was supposed to go.
“Jami, why didn’t you come to me and tell me about his threats?” Her expression shatters with hurt. “Why didn’t you trust me with what he was doing? None of this would be happening if you had.”
“I’ve always done things on my own. It’s hard to let others help me fix things. ”
“That has to stop if this is going to work. I need you to trust me.”
Shit.
I haven’t considered that Dori and I have a lot to work through before she can trust me. Her being here and helping me doesn’t make our issues disappear. It just makes it easier to work through them together.
I pad over and sit next to her. “You’re right. I should’ve believed in us, but I was worried about how Lauren would be with you. I wanted to fix everything first—put it in a box and tie it up with a nice bow on top—to make it easy for you to be a part of my life.”
“You can’t make things perfect first and then ask me to be a part of your life. I need you to be open with me and communicate with me. Regardless of how bad things seem.”
“And I’m trying to do that.”
She nods in acknowledgment but isn’t done with the subject. “I deserve to know what’s happening in your life, especially when I’m directly involved. We can handle anything together if we are honest with each other.”
My insides twist into a knot. I’m horrified by how much I hurt her.
I run my hand over her thigh. “I’m sorry I kept things from you. It was inconsiderate of me. Everything you’re saying is right.”
“I’m not putting all the blame on you. I’ve got plenty of things I need to fix, but this is one thing I have to have if this is going to work out with us. You have to put your trust in me. Don’t keep me in the dark. No matter what the issue is.”
“I want that more than anything. We can do this, Dori. We can make it work if we agree to talk to each other, even when it’s about Hunter or your job or something you think I don’t want to hear about.”
She smiles warmly. “I know we can. I’ve always felt that we could be great together if we could only find our footing with each other. The way I feel about you is like nothing I can explain.”
“I know what you mean.” I pull her to me so she’s standing between my legs and rest my hands on her hips.
She wraps her arms around my shoulders. “You do?”
I give her a quick kiss. “I do.”
“Then tell me how we get through this.”
“Easy. I do what you ask of me.”
“Which is?”
“You need me to be open with you about my problems and make you number one in my life. I understand that because I’ve learned by watching you with other men over the years.”
Sadness fills her expression. “You putting me first sounds a little selfish on my part.”
“No, it doesn’t. We’re partners now, and that means you’re my priority.”
“And you’re mine.”
“There’s something I want you to understand, Dori. You’ve always been number one for me. I’ve just gone about showing you I love you the wrong way.”
She forces out a laugh. “We both have, but I want this to work, Jami. I really do.”
“So do I, which is why I’m going to ask something of you.”
Her forehead crinkles. “What?”
My heart rate kicks up. “You want open communication and to know you’re number one in my life. That won’t be difficult for me, but what I need from you could be problematic.”
“Why? What exactly do you want me to do?”
“If we’re going to learn to trust each other, I can’t have you locking me out and shutting down on me.”
“That’s a fair request. And believe me, I don’t plan on doing that anymore. It just causes more problems. ”
“Good. I’m glad you realize that.” I squeeze her waist. “There’s something more I need from you.”
“Why do you have the fear of God spilling from your eyes?” She steps back with her expression full of worry. “Why do I feel like our entire relationship hinges on how I respond to this?”