Chapter 15 Lincoln
LINCOLN
“You’re driving me crazy. Go and find a bunny or something to blow off some steam,” Kodie says as I pace the length of our room.
“I don’t want a bunny,” I mutter.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him sit upright.
“Are you sick?” he asks in a teasing tone.
“No, I’m just—”
“Pissed?”
Finally, I pause, my eyes locked on the wall ahead as my heart continues to thump heavily in my chest and the knot in my stomach tightens.
It’s been the same since last night. Since I sat at my own dining room table with the dinner I painstakingly made in front of me. Alone.
I thought that I’d wake up this morning, forget all about the whole embarrassing event, and move on.
But I woke up with images of Parker on repeat in my head, and mortifyingly, a raging boner that I had no choice but to do something about.
And when I came…yeah, it was to an image of her laid out on my dining table as if she was going to be my next meal.
Heat surges through me now just from the memory alone.
It was nothing more than a fantasy, but it’s fucking me up.
The last thing I wanted to do was see her at the arena this morning. I knew without doubt that I’d end up on her table; I just didn’t think she’d have had me benched before that even happened.
I get it. I’ve been playing injured, lying to Lennon and Mitchell.
I’ll only hurt myself more in the long run, but I told myself that if I can just get through the season, I’ll have the summer to rehab it, and everything will be good.
It was a solid plan. I just had to hide the pain. It was working. Until she walked in.
Now I’m missing practice and our next game.
I’m angry at her, but if I’m being honest, I’m mostly angry with myself. And worst of all, I know that Dad would be ashamed of me.
If we weren’t playing our best season for decades, then I might have gone about it all differently. But that’s not the case. There are still a lot of games to play, but right now, we’re on track for the playoffs, and I refuse to do anything to lessen our chances.
I want it.
I want it so fucking badly.
“Yeah, I’m fucking pissed,” I hiss, finally letting it out.
He questioned me more than once on the flight here, but I kept my lips shut and pretended to sleep.
I’m pretty sure he knew I didn’t sleep a wink.
How could I when Parker was only a few rows away?
What made it even worse was when Marilyn stood in the aisle and spent a good thirty minutes flirting with her.
The need to go up there and drag his ass back was all-consuming. I fucking couldn’t, though.
Not only is she Rett’s little sister, but she’s now my trainer.
Off-limits has never been so tempting.
“I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you know she’s doing the same thing. Really, you should be pissed that Lennon or Mitchell hasn’t benched you already.”
“They didn’t know I was carrying this.”
Kodie rolls his eyes.
“Don’t sit there trying to be the big man. You know for a fact that you’d do the same thing. We’re having our best season in forever. We need me.”
“We need you healthy. We’ll cope for a couple of games without you if it means we get the rest of the season with you in your best form.”
He’s right, but it doesn’t lessen my anger at all.
“Parker really gets under your skin, doesn’t she?” he asks, pulling his cell from his pocket before smiling at the screen. No doubt it’s Casey, and he’s going to request I leave the room any minute so they can have some time alone.
Of course, I don’t mind. The two of them are cute as fuck, and I’ve never seen Kodie happier. But there’s a selfish part of me that doesn’t want to share him tonight.
There’s also the risk of what I’ll do when I leave this room.
I may not know where hers is, but it wouldn’t take too much detective work to figure it out. And unlike us, she’ll have a room to herself.
To do what in, Storm?
I shake my head at my stupid thoughts.
“She’s always been annoying,” I finally say, dragging his attention back to me.
He studies me for a beat. “That wasn’t what I meant,” he mutters. “It’s okay to admit you like her.”
My chin drops. “I don’t like her. That’s the whole issue here. I’m proud of her for securing this job, but I’m not all that pleased with the fact that she’s now on my ass practically twenty-four-seven, watching for every twitch and limp.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have invited her to live with you,” he points out.
No, I probably shouldn’t have. But it’s a bit fucking late.
“Her building was burning. Her apartment…what else could I have done?”
“Brought her to us.”
“She didn’t want me to,” I argue, much to his amusement, if his quirked brow is anything to go by.
“And since when did you start listening to what people tell you?”
My lips part to argue, but I quickly find that I don’t have a response.
He’s right.
I could have ignored her and taken her to Casey that night.
Hell, I could have even done what she suggested and taken her to a hotel.
But I couldn’t. The only place I wanted to take her was my place, even if I knew she would drive me to the brink of insanity.
Not only is she a part of my professional life, but she’s also a huge part of my personal life.
And…I like it more than I’m willing to admit to anyone.
“It was New Year’s Eve.”
“Uh huh,” he agrees as he taps out a message.
“I’m…uh…gonna go for a walk. Give you some time with Casey.”
He stills before looking up.
“You don’t have to do that, man.”
“It’s fine. Honestly. I could use some fresh air. Maybe it’ll give me some clarity.”
Last year, I felt like I had everything under control. Now, only a few days into the new year and everything seems to be spiraling already. It’s not the start I wanted.
Stuffing my feet into my sneakers, I pocket my cell, AirPods, and hotel key card before stalking toward the door.
“Message me when it’s clear to return. I have no intentions of walking in on you jerking off again.”
“Don’t worry, it wasn’t my idea of a good time either.”
I glance over my shoulder before I pull the hotel room door open to find Kodie completely distracted by his cell, or more specifically, the woman on the other end of it.
I’m happy for them, I am. But there’s something else there, too. Something I can’t quite put my finger on.
I inhale a deep breath as I step out into the hallway, but it’s too small, too restrictive. I need to move and be free.
Usually, when I’m feeling antsy like this, I’d go for a run, but I’m pretty sure that’d end with me spending even more time on Parker’s torture table.
I’m not sure why that thought excites me. I should be running in the opposite direction, not wondering how her hands would feel on more parts of my body.
Shaking my head, I force myself to focus on something else as I pop my AirPods in and hit play on an exercise playlist as I walk toward the elevator.
With my cap pulled low, I exit the hotel to a chilly Texas evening.
A shiver races through me, making me wish I’d put a coat on. But not wanting to go back up and interrupt anything, I focus on moving. If I walk fast enough, I’ll warm up in a few blocks.
I walk for hours, lost in a million different thoughts, from work to family and everything in between. But no matter where my mind goes, somehow it always drifts back to her.
Memories of times gone by that I’ve forced to the dark depths of my mind begin to emerge. They’re dangerous and lead me down a road I told myself I’d never venture again. But I can’t help it.
Kodie was right. She is firmly under my skin.
What he doesn’t know is that she always has been.
By the time I head back toward the hotel, the streets are almost deserted. There are a few drunken people spilling out of clubs and bars, but it’s nothing like being at home. And thankfully, everyone is either too drunk or distracted to pay much attention to me.
Kodie messaged me hours ago, letting me know that it was safe to return. But even that didn’t have me turning around to find my bed.
If I’m not playing tomorrow, what’s the point?
Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m here. They might as well have left me at home, for all the help I’m going to be.
My heart aches and my muscles are lagging as I shuffle through to the hotel foyer. I’m freezing but numb enough to ignore it.
There are a couple of people loitering around, but no one pays me any mind as I make my way to the elevator. I’ve just pressed the call button when a familiar giggle hits my ears.
Spinning around, my eyes widen when I see Parker and Brooke stumbling into the hotel with hot dogs in one hand and takeout coffee cups in the other.
Both have wide, genuine smiles on their faces.
They’re dressed as if they’ve been in a club, only Parker isn’t wearing any shoes.
On closer inspection, I find them in a carrier bag hanging from her wrist.
They don’t see me as they get closer, too lost in whatever they’re talking about.
“I can’t believe you turned him down,” Brooke shouts. “He was so fucking hot.”
My entire body tenses.
“Then you could have had him. Not my type.”
“Girl, you need to have a word with yourself if fine isn’t your type.”
“He was an athlete,” Parker reasons.
“So? What’s wrong with having a hot night with an athlete?” Brooke finally looks up, her glassy eyes finding mine.
“Yeah, what is so wrong with having a hot night with an athlete?” I ask, waiting for the moment a drunk Parker recognizes my voice. And I’m so glad I did, because her reaction is everything I needed tonight.