Chapter 39 Parker
PARKER
My heart is like a runaway train in my chest as Linc’s eyes hold mine.
Memories of that night have emotions roaring within me.
Devastation, grief, sadness. But it didn’t end there.
Linc turned up and proved to me that there’s more to life than cheating, lying assholes.
But as good as things might have been, my heart was still shattered into a million pieces.
“Linc.” His name falls from my lips like a plea.
His words. The way he’s looking at me. The way his hands are twitching at his sides like he’s desperately trying to stop himself from reaching for me. It’s everything. The thing dreams are made of.
But I can’t.
My heart has been ripped to pieces and stomped on one too many times by ice hockey players. And Linc…he’s the biggest player of all.
What he just said…
Fuck, it makes my heart flutter in a way I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced before. But it would be na?ve of me to allow myself to run away with them.
What I just said was true. Linc doesn’t do serious. He does hook-ups. And if we were to do that…
Well, there would be no coming back from it.
He holds more power than those two forgotten men of my past combined. He always has.
If I were to hand myself over to him…
I can’t. I have to stay strong, retain the power, and not let myself be swept away by his pretty words and sexy body.
He finally gives in to his need to touch me, and his hand lifts to my cheek. I startle as if struck by electricity as his warmth seeps through me.
Unable to stop myself, I lean into his touch.
“All you have to do is say the word, babe.” My eyes close as the deep rasp of his voice flows through me.
It would be so easy to agree.
But it would also be reckless.
I’d be asking to get hurt.
I managed to do the right thing and protect my heart once.
I’m not sure I’ll be strong enough to do the same thing twice.
The silence between us stretches on. The atmosphere is thick with anticipation and desire. But it doesn’t matter how strong it is. I can’t do it.
Forcing my eyes open, I stare into his. They’re a darker blue than usual, and the sight of his own desire hits me like a truck.
He wants you.
Out of every willing woman out there, tonight, he wants you.
Fire courses through my veins, colliding between my thighs, causing a delicious ache that nothing but the man himself will be able to sate.
But he can’t have me tonight. Because tomorrow, it’ll be over, and he’ll want someone else.
“Anything,” he says softly, leaning forward and resting his forehead against mine.
I didn’t think it was possible, but his scent gets stronger.
“Tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Whatever you—”
I reach up and press my fingers against his lips.
I can’t hear this.
My lips part to say something, although I’m terrified of what it might be. My resolve is cracking. The way he’s looking at me with his big puppy dog eyes. Fuck.
Lincoln Storm is my kryptonite.
But before I get a word out, his cell chimes loudly.
Closing his eyes, he exhales a long breath that tickles over my face and down my neck. My nipples pebble, and thank fuck for the hoodie, because I have no doubt he’d be able to see just how he’s affecting me without it.
“Dinner’s here,” he rasps.
“Then you should probably go and get it,” I say, taking that as my cue to step back and finally put some space between us.
“Fuck,” he breathes, his eyes dropping to his hand that was previously cupping my cheek. He hesitates for a moment before lifting it to drag through his hair.
The movement causes his shirt to ride up, giving me an uninterrupted view of the V-lines and trail of hair that disappears into his sweats. And when I get lower, I discover that I’m not the only one affected by our proximity. He isn’t fully hard. But he isn’t soft, either.
My thighs clench at the sight, but with the distance between us now, it’s easier to brush aside.
“Parker, I—” His cell chimes again. “I’m going to get that.”
With one final longing look, he takes off toward the elevator.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter to myself as I tuck the loose strands of hair behind my ear and drop back onto the couch.
Despite needing a moment to myself to get my head straight, Linc seems to be back faster than humanly possible.
“Are you choosing something to watch?” he asks as he lowers the bag to the coffee table.
I keep my eyes locked on where the food is hiding as the scent of melted cheese and spices fills the room.
“You got out here first. You get to select what we watch. That was the rule.”
His eyes shoot to me, but despite his attention making my skin tingle, I don’t look up. I can’t risk it.
“I don’t have a problem with breaking the rules, babe.”
I know he’s smirking. I don’t need to look up to see it.
“Well, unfortunately, I’m a rule follower. It’s your choice.”
He chuckles as he opens a container and passes it over.
The second my eyes land on the burger before me, my stomach growls obnoxiously loud.
Linc chuckles.
“Thank you,” I mumble, taking the container from him.
Needing the distraction, I keep my eyes focused on my food instead of the man on the opposite couch, thanking my lucky stars that he decided against sitting next to me within touching distance.
He turns the TV on and loads up Netflix, but no sooner has the home screen come on than he clicks on something.
“What was that?” I ask.
“No idea. It’s number one, so it can’t be too shit.”
“Interesting concept.”
“Netflix roulette. You never played it?”
I shake my head. “Can’t say I have. I like to know what I’m about to watch.”
“Sometimes, you’ve got to live on the wild side,” he muses before taking a massive bite of his burger.
“If you say so,” I mutter, trying to figure out how to eat mine. It’s freaking huge.
The movie he selected turns out to be some kind of gangster thing. It’s full of fist fights, gun fights, and high-speed car chases. Not my thing at all. And that, along with the lingering tension between us, finally pushes me toward calling it a night.
“I can change it if you want to watch something else,” Linc says in a rush after I’ve announced my intentions.
“No, it’s okay. I’m tired. I’m gonna crash,” I say, depositing my trash in the kitchen.
“What are your plans for tomorrow?”
A sigh escapes me as I think about the Pilates class I’d intended to go to in the morning. As much as I want to, right now, I’m too exhausted to even think about it.
“Sleeping,” I say with a laugh. If only I could.
I still barely have any possessions, and there’s been no news about my apartment building.
They’re still trying to make it safe and waiting for the inspector’s confirmation that others can enter.
Nothing I’ve heard so far gives me any kind of hope for my belongings.
I just need to know now. Then, I can attempt to put it all behind me and move on.
“Are you coming to Fletch’s house for team dinner?”
“Uh…I’m, uh…not a part of the team,” I point out.
Linc barks a laugh. “You’re a bigger part of the team than some of the players.”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“We’d be nothing without you,” he counters.
“It’s been two weeks,” I argue.
“Feels like longer. You’re one of us, babe.”
“Does anyone else go?” I ask. The thought of having to spend the evening with Mitchell scowling at me isn’t appealing in the slightest.
“Nah, just the team. Reese will be there, of course, seeing as it’s her house and all.”
“No other staff go?”
“Uh…no. We don’t like any of them enough. We once had an assistant equipment manager who used to attend, but he got a promotion elsewhere and left us.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I mutter. Dejection burns through me as I pad toward my bedroom.
As much as I love the idea of hanging out with the guys and being one of the team, it’s not a place I can be.
“I’ll speak to Kodie, make sure Casey and Sutton are there as well,” he calls, stopping me in my tracks.
“Why?” I ask, spinning to look at him.
He chuckles like I’m the most adorable idiot in the world, and I frown, clearly missing the point.
“Because you belong there. Because I want you there.”
I roll my eyes. “And the great Lincoln Storm always gets what he wants.”
“What? That’s not—”
“I’m not a part of the team, Linc. I never will be. I’m just an assistant trainer.”
“You’re not just an anything, Parker.”
His words threaten to wrap me in a huge, warm hug, but I refuse to accept them. Refuse to be swept away by pretty words and a hot-as-hell man.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, continuing to my room again.
“I’m still going to speak to Kodie,” he warns.
Not having the energy to argue with him, I slip into my room and push the door closed.
Exhaustion sweeps over me as the sound of the movie restarting fills my ears.
I should shut the door, block it out so I can sleep. But while I may have escaped to do so, it’s not going to be happening just yet.
My blood is still simmering from our interaction earlier; my clit still aching.
There won’t be any sleeping until I get some relief.
Dragging Linc’s hoodie off, I throw it into the corner of the room as if this whole night, that interaction is its fault.
Tugging my nightstand drawer open, I pull out my vibrator and drop it onto the bed. Shimmying my shorts and panties over my hips, I let them fall to my ankles before climbing in.
The soft, high thread count sheets feel exquisite against my sensitive skin, the sensation only making my need for a release more urgent.
Tugging the covers over me in the hope of muffling the sound of the buzzing, I switch my little friend on.
Despite there being a ton of options in the store, I went for the same one I had before. I trust it to do the job. It’s more than I can say about most of the men I’ve spent time with.
My gasp rips through the air as I touch the end of the vibrating toy to my needy clit.
“Fuck,” I groan. I’m so close already, it’s embarrassing.
At least no one will know just how fast it’s going to be. That Linc got me worked up enough out there with just his words and hand on my cheek to go off in mere seconds.
Okay, it’s not just those things. It’s the memories, too.
Memories of a night I’ve refused to allow myself to think about for six years. But he’s bringing it all back. Forcing me to deal with everything I stuffed in a box. It’s the safest place for it. If it’s out in the open, if we acknowledge it, it’s going to lead to pain. Pain neither of us needs.
“Oh god,” I moan as I shift the toy lower, pushing it inside me as my fingers from my other hand work my clit.
I groan, circling my hips to hit the best spot inside me, and a loud moan spills from my lips as I fall over the edge.
And as I do, there’s only one man in my mind…