Chapter 68 Parker
PARKER
My heart races, my hands tremble, and dread like I’ve never felt before in my life sits heavy in my stomach as my big brother stands in the doorway to Linc’s home gym with his hands on his hips and a terrifying expression on his face.
Grown-ass men are scared of my big brother, and despite knowing him better than almost anyone, right now, I’m totally intimidated too.
Because you’ve been lying to him.
I banish that unhelpful thought and try to remember what question he just bellowed at us.
Linc shifts in front of me so he’s sitting on the table, but he also doesn’t say anything.
Is he waiting for me?
In the end, it’s Rett who speaks first.
“So I guess this explains why Mom told me to warn you that I was coming first.” He steps forward with his fists curled at his sides, and I panic.
I cannot bear to watch him wail on Linc.
We’ve done nothing wrong, not really.
Okay, yeah. We should have told him that we were living together. And we probably should have mentioned that things had progressed beyond that.
But also…he shouldn’t have just let himself into Linc’s apartment unannounced.
Linc could have been doing anything up here…
A shudder rips through me as I think about all the things he could have been doing.
I force that thought away. It’s not helpful, right?
I believed everything he said to me earlier about wanting this for years, about being serious about a future together. Hell, he called me his girlfriend.
Lincoln Storm’s girlfriend.
It’s a title I could only ever dream of. And now it’s mine.
My heart flutters wildly.
I am his, and he is mine.
I dart around the front of the table, getting between the two of them before Rett loses his shit.
He’s always had a short fuse, but thankfully, most of the time, I’m able to defuse the situation; hopefully, now is one of those times.
“I was just working out Linc’s shoulder. He took a hard hit the other night and—”
“The fuck are you wearing?” Rett balks, staring at Linc’s old college T-shirt.
“Uh…” I hesitate. I don’t have any answer that’s going to make any of this better. I only have the truth, and I’m not willing to go there yet. Not until I can talk Rett down from the edge.
Rett’s eyes shift from mine to the man on the table behind me. “You’re the colleague,” he accuses. “You’re the one who took her in.” Silence. “Fucking hell,” Rett barks, his fingers twisting in his hair and pulling until it looks like it hurts. “You fucking asshole.”
“Rett, no,” I scream as he surges forward.
Linc gently moves me to the side as he stands to full height, ready for my brother's assault.
“What would you rather I did? Drop her at a hotel? That’s what she wanted.
We’d just found her apartment going up in flames, and she wanted me to take her to a hotel and leave her alone.
It was New Year’s Eve, for fuck’s sake. I’d never do that.
I have no doubt you’d have had something to say about it if I did. ”
A deep growl rumbles in Rett’s throat as he snarls at Linc.
I’ve seen the two of them go at it more times than I can count over the years. But it never had anything to do with me. They were always fighting over some other girl or some boy bullshit I didn’t understand.
I refuse to let them hurt each other because of me.
I love them both too much for that.
“Please,” I cry, attempting to get between them again.
Linc’s arm darts out, stopping me before he wraps his fingers around my wrist and drags me behind him.
“Stop it,” I complain, attempting to free my arm, but it’s pointless.
“What were the last words you said to me before you left for Seattle?” Linc demands, standing toe to toe with Rett and glaring right into his eyes.
“You motherfucker,” Rett mutters under his breath.
“What were they, Rett? Parker wasn’t there; she doesn’t know.”
“Will you two just stop?”
His nostrils flare as he inhales a deep breath, and his jaw tics in irritation.
“I told you to look after my little sister,” Rett confesses.
“And what do you think I’m doing, asshole?”
Their words are like a bat to the chest, and I stumble back. Thankfully, Linc lets me go.
He only did all of this because of a promise to Rett?
I shake my head.
That can’t be right.
He wanted me here. Not because of some fucked-up promise to protect me like I’m some helpless little woman, but because he wanted me here.
Didn’t he?
“You’d do the same for Nova,” Linc adds.
“Yeah, and you wouldn’t expect to find us half-dressed with her hands all over me.”
“Perk of living with an athletic trainer,” Linc says, popping one shoulder as if I’m not standing a foot away, losing my goddamn mind.
“Look, I’m just giving her a place to stay.
She’s been looking at other places, but they’re all expensive as fuck and complete shitholes.
And as you well know, we’re hardly ever at home. ”
I feel like I’m floating above my own body, listening to them talk about me as if I’m not even here.
Linc and I haven’t talked about me getting my own place since things changed between us.
At no point did I assume I’d just stay here.
He might have called me his girlfriend, but I’m not running before I can walk here.
There is a big difference between embarking on a relationship and living together.
Is there, though? a little voice asks.
You’ve been living together for weeks. Why not just…keep going?
A growl rips through the room, and it’s not until they both turn and stare at me that I realize it came from me.
“You two are unbelievable,” I shout, anger bubbling up inside me faster than I can control. “I’m standing right here, you know. I’m not some pathetic little girl you don’t want to hang out with anymore. I’m a fully grown woman with a career and a life.
“I’m so fucking sick of men thinking they’re better than me, that they can make decisions for me, and that I’ll just follow along like a good little girl.”
They both stare at me with open mouths.
“Yes, Linc took me in when I had nowhere else to go. And yes, I’ve been living here ever since. We should have told you, but as Linc just said, as soon as I can find another place to live, I’ll be gone. You never needed to know.
“Excuse me,” I bark before darting forward and out of the room as fast as my legs will carry me.
“Parker?” Linc calls.
My heart aches as I ignore his plea and rush into my room. The loud bang as the door slams startles me, but for once, I don’t stop to open it again. Right now, I’ll happily hide behind a closed door, away from their macho bullshit.
Fearing they’ll hear me, I race into my bathroom, also closing that door, before I allow my sob to rip free.
I’m angry. I’m frustrated. I’m hurt. And it all collides into loud sobs and ugly tears.
I hate it. I wish I was the kind of woman who could punch a wall and move on. But no, I get the girly tears.
Men will never take you seriously in their world if you break down and cry when things get hard.
The minutes stretch on, but I don’t hear anything from Linc or Rett. For all I know, they’re punching each other’s lights out in the gym right now.
Fear rips through me, and the need to go out and check on them is almost too much to bear. But in the end, I focus on myself. I might have screamed at them that I’m an adult who can look after herself, but so are they.
If they need to fight this out, then who am I to stop them?
I need to talk to someone, though, so I drag myself from my bathroom floor and trudge through to my bedroom. After finding my cell at the bottom of my purse, I take myself back to the bathroom, close and lock the door, and then find my best friend’s contact.
“Heloha,” Casey says softly.
I try to fight it, but the second her voice hits my ear, I shatter.
“Parker? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t...Rett…Fuck. Linc and I—”
“Okay, you need to take a breath. Do you need me to come get you?”
“No. NO. No, don’t do that. I’m hiding in my bathroom.”
“Okay. Did you want to tell me why?”
I take a few calming breaths while I try to gather my thoughts.
“Linc and I...we’re—”
“Fucking?” Casey finishes for me.
“Umm…well, that specific act hasn’t actually happened yet, but—”
“You’re hooking up?” she asks hopefully.
“Do you have to sound so excited about this?” I complain.
“Parker, I love you, you know this, but Linc has been in love with you forever. You’re just too blind to see it.”
“And you never thought to mention this before?”
“You wouldn’t have believed me. You’ve always been too dead set on hating him to see anything else.”
“Hmm.”
“What does that mean?”
Guilt knots up my insides.
I have only ever kept one secret from Casey. And it’s been eating at me for six years.
“Linc and I slept together on prom night,” I say so fast, the words all blur into one.
Silence follows my confession.
“I’m sorry, that sounded like my best friend just told me that she slept with Linc on our prom night.”
“Yeah, that…happened.”
“What? When? How?”
“After I caught Seth cheating, I…uh…called Linc to come and get me. I didn’t want to go home and deal with questions from Mom, so he took me back to his place. One thing led to another and…well, yeah.”
“You gave Lincoln Storm your V card, and I’m only just finding out about this now?”
“I’m so sorry, Casey. I never meant to keep it a secret, but I knew if I so much as mentioned it, it would feel real and…I walked away. I promised myself that I’d put it, and him, behind me. I’d had a crush on him for so long, and I knew it wouldn’t last. He was Lincoln Storm, you know?”
“Parker,” she whispers. “You don’t need to apologize to me. You’re allowed secrets, especially if they’re to protect your heart.”
I sniffle as I fight to keep my tears at bay.
“We’ll circle back to all of that in a bit, because you can bet your ass I have a million and one questions, but…what’s happened tonight?”
I give Casey a rundown of recent events, and she listens to every word, giving me her undivided attention despite the fact she has her own man who I’m sure would like a little bit of it.
We’re on the phone for almost an hour before I finally let her go, promising that we’ll catch up tomorrow to continue dissecting the situation.
My ass has long gone dead from sitting on the hard, tiled floor when I finally get back to my feet.
After brushing my teeth, I crawl into bed, pull the sheets up to my neck, and stare up at the ceiling.
Now I’m in the bedroom, I can hear the deep rumbling from Linc and Rett’s voices, and despite wanting to be strong, I end up crying myself to sleep.
Because tonight for the first time in a long time, I’m going to have to sleep alone, and I really don’t like it.