8
MICKY
“This conversation is pointless,” Colby grumbles as he drives us home from the Red Devil. It was a good night, with a great atmosphere and the chance to watch Ellie dance wearing her clingy green dress. Hell, I’d have stayed longer, but Colby’s mood fucked with everyone’s mojo.
“I saw how close you were to kissing her,” I say. My brother is still in denial, even though he has no reason to lie to Seb or me. “You were leaning in, and she was waiting. If I hadn’t stumbled in there like a fucking cock block, you would have kissed Ellie as she wanted.”
“You didn’t see shit,” Colby says, his denial sounding hollow. He grits his teeth in that fucking stubborn way that makes me want to punch him in the face and plead with him to take a chill pill. Sibling vibes.
“Maybe that’s his game,” Seb says. “Maybe Colby’s telling us that Ellie’s not interested, and we need to keep our distance for the sake of the family so that he can stake his claim behind our backs.”
“Is that your game, Colby?” I ask doubtfully.
“No, that’s not my game. What kind of asshole do you think I am?”
“Then what the fuck is going on?” I flick the radio off, wanting us all to concentrate on this conversation. “I know what I saw. Why won’t you just admit it?”
“He won’t admit that he likes her because he knows what will happen,” Seb says.
“And what is that?” Colby growls.
“We’ll fuck her. And we’ll want more. And maybe everything Colby suspects will happen comes to pass. Our dad will skin our cocks, and Ellie’s mom will use the skin to make a new purse,” Seb laughs, but neither of those thoughts is funny. I shift uncomfortably in my seat.
“But what’s the alternative?” I ask. “I’m sick of trying to find another girl I like as much, only for them to never match up to Ellie.”
“Me too,” Seb says. “And it’s worse now we’ve had a taste of what it could be like. Before the closet, it was just me and my own filthy imagination. Now it’s me and the actual memories of Ellie. It’s a fucking miracle I’m out of my room, and my cock is tucked away right now.”
“Gross,” Colby snaps. “We have to forget it for Ellie’s sake. Her relationship with her mom is already strained. We can’t do anything to disrupt it. It’s not fair.”
“You forget that there are these things called secrets. They happen when people don’t tell everyone what they’re doing. You know, it’s normal for people our age not to disclose our sex life to our parents.” I smile as Colby swivels his head to take a measure of my expression quickly.
“I thought Seb would have been the one to push this,” he says. “He’s usually the one who cares the least about the implications of his actions.”
“Thanks,” Seb says from the back seat, genuinely pleased with that description.
“It wasn’t a compliment,” Colby growls.
“You’re also forgetting that we’ve already fooled around with her,” I say. “Maybe if we were talking right now, and we hadn’t had that seven minutes of heaven, I’d think differently.”
“He’s had a taste,” Seb says. “And now he’s addicted. It’s pushing all his usual restraint and empathy out the back door.”
“I still have empathy and restraint, dude. But see how Ellie looks at us now, and it’s different. She feels it too.”
Colby lets out a stressed-sounding breath. “She wanted to kiss me. I’m ninety-nine percent sure of that. And I probably would have done if you hadn’t appeared in the doorway.”
“See. I told you.”
“But my moment of stupidity and seven minutes of unintended fooling around shouldn’t lead us down a path we can’t return on.”
“How very philosophical of you, Colb,” Seb laughs. He tosses a ball in his hands, forever restless.
“Nothing philosophical about me wanting to preserve some sanity in our house.”
“Sanity is overrated, brother,” Seb says, “but you know what isn’t? Accepting how you feel about someone and doing what needs to be done to satisfy both of you.”
“Satisfaction is overrated,” Colby replies. “You can get your dick wet any night of the week if that’s all you’re looking for.”
Seb drops the ball on the floor and leans forward, wrapping his arms around both our seats so that his head is almost level with ours. “But it isn’t just about getting our dicks wet, is it. That isn’t what any of us really want.”
“Oh yeah, and what do I want?” Colby snaps. “Tell me, little brother.”
“We all want to make that girl happy.”
I snap my head around, staring at my brother, who always tries to lighten every situation, but just jumped headfirst into the emotional zone.
He raises his eyebrows and grins because he knows he’s hit the nail on the head, and none of us will deny the truth of his words.
We want to make Ellie happy, but what does that mean? What will it take to put a smile on her face?
I don’t know, but I hope I get to find out.