12
KAIN
Coach has a hard-on to hurt us today. Instead of our usual grueling training, he’s testing out some new techniques which have left my muscles screaming and my whole body covered with sweat. I glance around at my teammates, finding ruddy cheeks, filthy training gear, and broken spirits.
All training is good for us, especially the kind that pushes us outside comfortable boundaries, but when we’re all tired beyond capacity, it doesn’t feel positive.
“Fuck,” Dornan grumbles. “If Coach doesn’t sort out his marital problems soon, I swear I’m going to need to get involved. Maybe we could pitch in and send his wife a big bunch of flowers and some chocolates. Maybe that would do the trick.”
“You seriously think he’s taking out his marital issues on us?”
Dornan grimaces, running his shovel hands through his disheveled hair. “I don’t think it, I know it. I heard him on the phone the other day taking an absolute grilling from his Mrs. He’s in the doghouse for sure!”
“That’s the side of relationships I can’t fucking stand,” I say. We start to make our way towards the locker room, following our other lumbering teammates. There’s been a different dynamic since a load of men left at the end of last year. Getting used to the newbies and becoming one of the old-timers feels weird. One more year and I’ll be done with this, but I’m still not certain what I want to do next.
“You with anyone right now?” Dornan asks.
I turn my head to catch his expression and find the corner of his mouth pulled up in a small grin. It’s the kind of grin that tells me he knows something, but he’s not saying. Ellie and Dornan are best friends and Ellie is also friends with Gabriella. There could have been a chain of information flow between them all.
“Not with anyone,” I say.
Dornan nods, making a very fake interested noise which vibrates my nerves. I’m too tired to mess around with this bullshit. If he has something to say, he needs to just come out and say it.
“You want to play games like a girl, Dornan? Or just come out with whatever you’ve got balancing on the tip of your tongue.”
“I may have heard that Ellie has been flipping the dares Gabriella’s way. And that you and your brothers might have been the subject of the dares.”
“Dares?” This is new to me. I thought Gabriella agreed to the deal because it was what she wanted, not because of a stupid game she was playing with her friend. My stomach twists with discomfort, the memory of our morning together suddenly colored differently in my mind.
“It’s just a stupid game. I used to play it with Ellie. When I knew she wanted something but wasn’t brave enough or motivated enough to go after it, I’d dare her. It was a way of encouraging her to live her best life.”
“So that’s what Ellie is doing for Gabriella?”
“Most likely.” He studies me as he holds the door open for me to pass through first. “Ellie’s not a bitch. She wouldn’t encourage Gabriella to do something she didn’t want to do, and Gabriella is pretty headstrong.”
“You can say that again,” I mutter.
“So, you guys are banging?” Dornan’s grin is so mischievous that I can’t be mad at him for asking very personal questions. If the subject of his interrogation was anyone other than Gab, I wouldn’t care about spilling all the gory details, but I want to protect her from the locker-room gossip if I can.
“Dude. She’s a good friend of mine. Even if I was, I wouldn’t share it with you.”
Dornan nods, still smiling. “What about your brothers? Are they as good as you at keeping secrets?”
Blake can be a blabbermouth, but I’m not about to tell Dornan that. Dalton doesn’t mean to share other people’s secrets, but he’s easy to trick into revealing something he doesn’t intend to make public.
“We would all defend Gabriella’s honor,” I say simply.
Around the locker room, I catch snippets of conversation, mostly about how sore and hungry everyone is. I wish we had a batch of Gab’s delicious food at home, but everything she’s made so far has been demolished in one sitting.
Dornan nods, pressing his lips together. “Good on you,” he says. “With Ellie hooked up and now Gab…maybe it’s time I thought about gathering myself a weird harem living arrangement.”
I roll my eyes because I didn’t confirm anything and he’s leaping to conclusions. “You really think you could live like Colby and his brothers do with Ellie?”
He shrugs, tossing a towel over his shoulder. “Love can make even the craziest situation feel normal. At least, that’s what Ellie says.”
“I guess. But it can’t be without sacrifices.”
Dornan slams his locker. “Maybe. Or maybe it comes with perks. There’s a lot of pressure on men these days. It’s not easy to carry the financial burden of a family, especially if your partner wants to stay home for the kids. Everyone seems to be working themselves into divorce. It’s too much stress. Imagine sharing that with two other guys. Imagine all the chores in a household split four ways instead of two. Imagine having two buddies to hang out with all the time, as well as a beautiful woman. It kind of sounds perfect to me.”
“You are really selling it, Dornan.” I chew my cheek, realizing what he’s saying is a perspective I never considered. He hasn’t even considered the complexity of sharing a sexual relationship. Maybe that part doesn’t bother him at all.
Does it bother me? I’m willing to share Gabriella with my brothers as part of our current deal. The boundaries we’re working within paint everything a different color. But without those boundaries, could I imagine knowing my girl was fucking someone else? Could I find a way to watch that and not want to tear down walls, brick by miserable brick?
I’m not a jealous man, but I think Ellie’s situation could drive me to distraction.
“Gabriella’s a good girl,” Dornan says. “Whether or not you guys are bumping uglies, just make sure you’re decent to her.”
“Dude. Bumping uglies has gotta be the worst fucking way to describe sex.”
“That’s what you’re focusing on from what I said?” He rolls his eyes, starting towards the showers.
I stay behind, taking my time finding what I need in my bag. I like Dornan, but I don’t need him to tell me what Gabriella needs or deserves. Right now, that’s my responsibility.
By the time I’m showered and ready for home, my brain feels frazzled from working through all the pros and cons of a relationship with Gabriella, one that isn’t even an option, anyway.
I know one thing for sure. I won’t be sharing any of this with my brothers.