15
GAbrIELLA
When Blake touches my cheek, it feels too gentle to be about sex. It’s too tender not to be borne out of emotional feelings. I swallow down the tightness in my throat and reach for his hand, clasping it tightly in mine as Kain begins to press inside me.
This moment will remain forever in my mind. I feel fractured by the intensity of this experience. Broken and splayed open.
As I clutch at Blake, and Dalton smooths his hand over my back, my body opens to accommodate Kain. The stretching stings at first and I grit my teeth, willing myself to bear it because I don’t want to fail, and I know it’ll be worth it in the end. Kain crowds me, his legs pushing against the backs of my thighs, his big body looming over mine. I’m pressed between him and Blake like peanut butter and jelly between two thick wedges of bread, lost in the inky blackness behind my eyelids.
“Breathe,” Blake whispers. “Breathe. This part is the most difficult. Just imagine your body opening. Imagine it giving way.”
“Think about us both being deep inside you…your pussy spread wide for us,” Kain says, pressing a kiss between my shoulder blades. “Your body is ours, Gabriella.” His finger brushes between the cheeks of my ass, a touch so forbidden but so arousing, all I can do is shiver.
“You’re so fucking perfect,” Blake murmurs again, kissing my lips gently. It’s such a contrast to the intrusion between my thighs.
“You’re doing so great,” Dalton says, reassuring me with a sweet touch on my shoulder.
Kain strokes my hips and thighs like he’s trying to calm a skittish horse and I close my eyes, relishing the caring affection they find so easy to give me. But even as I slip into a mindset of enjoying how attentive they are, the part of me that always struggles to live in a happy moment without already forecasting change worries.
I can’t get attached to Blake, Dalton, and Kain. I can’t let my feelings of love and familiarity forged in the past get too tangled with emotions that seem to be creeping into our sexual relationships. Maybe they’re getting mixed up with what this deal is about. Maybe they’re secretly hoping this will turn into something more.
But how can it?
Travis would be devastated, and I couldn’t live with myself for fracturing their friendship from the inside out. Our parents would never understand. Hell, the world would never understand. I’ve seen the trials and tribulations Ellie’s had to go through and I don’t think I’m strong enough to do the same. I don’t think I could ever trust anyone enough to risk the humiliation of three men breaking up with me.
I have to keep my feelings constrained to physical release. I have to focus on the way they make my body feel and isolate my heart from being touched. A loving relationship is something I want for my future, but this can’t fulfill that need.
It can’t.
“Kain,” I whisper. “It’s okay. I’m ready.”
His hands pause on my waist and his cock kicks inside me. I rest up on my arms, focusing on Dalton’s cock, wondering how I’m going to be able to pleasure him with my mouth. Surely my jaw won’t stretch that far.
I lean closer, licking the tip, swirling my tongue around in a way that makes him hiss. Kain begins to move, in and out, in and out, stretching me open so wide it must look obscene. I wish I had his vantage point. If I got to see the explicit visual of two huge cocks in my pussy, I’d probably come immediately. I’m already close, my previous epic orgasm feeling like it happened in the distant past.
Dalton’s hand rests against my neck, and he uses his fingers to support my movements. I start shallow, taking just the head of his huge dick into my mouth, giving my jaw time to open. He tastes and smells so good, and the way he moans when I manage to move a little deeper fills me with longing. I want this big man with gentle hands to feel good. I want to repay his tenderness with the most pleasure a person can experience.
Blake’s hands roam over my breasts, squeezing gently and then pinching my nipples with harder intent. Like a line of electric wire, the sensation connects to my pussy, causing a fluttering that makes Kain swear.
“She likes that,” he tells his brother. “She likes that a lot.”
I like it so much I moan around Dalton’s cock, which he really appreciates. I guess the little vibrations feel good.
Kain’s thrusts have been regular and measured, a slow build to something more frenzied, and when he can’t hold himself back anymore, he rests his hand on the small of my back. And fuck, when he presses against my body, my clit rubs perfectly against Blake’s pubic bone every time he moves.
I stare up at Dalton and there is so much in his expression; passion, lust; disbelief and reverence. His thighs begin to shake, and I know I’ve got him. My jaw aches at the stretch, but I don’t stop. I won’t stop. Not until I taste him on my tongue and watch his reserve crumble.
“Fuck, Angel…don’t stop.” Dalton’s voice is twisted with anticipation, his fingers flexing against my neck, and he loses control.
His cock does the impossible, and swells to even larger proportions and then he pulls back, coming into the palm of his hand.
“Hey,” I say. “That was mine.”
With glazed eyes, Dalton drops back onto the bed, cradling his cock like it’s too sensitive for even the air to make contact with it.
“One down,” Blake says, grinning up at me. He puts his hands behind his head, relaxing like he’s sunning himself on the beach, leaving Kain to do all the work. It’s funny how this dynamic replicates what they’re like in real life.
“Slacker,” I say, but I’m laughing rather than being critical. I don’t need his hands when I have his cock inside me. I don’t need him to move when his brother is handling that part like a pro. My clit aches to come, heat spilling like warm water from my belly to my slick pussy.
“Don’t worry, Gab. I’ve got us all,” Kain says.
“Don’t worry, Gab. Super Kain to the rescue,” Blake teases.
“We can switch places if you want,” Kain suggests, but Blake isn’t interested. He’s not competitive at all.
“That’s cool. You do your control-freak shit.”
I bend to kiss the smile off Blake’s face, and it works.
“You look so fucking sexy, Gab,” Blake tells me.
“She’s a goddess,” Dalton adds, finally back in the land of the living.
“She’s perfect,” Kain says, as he thrusts deeper, and I feel like I’m going to break open from the pleasure. Blake slicks his thumb and finds my clit, and after only a few fast, tight circles, it happens.
My body convulses, flopping against Blake’s warm, hard chest as Kain rests his arm on the bed next to us, pounding hard. “Oh god,” I moan. “Oh god…”
“Oh, fuck.” The rippling of my orgasm must trigger something in Kain and Blake, because they’re only a little behind me. They release at the same time, Blake arching his back and Kain holding onto me so tightly I can barely breathe.
Dalton makes a contented humming sound and when I open my eyes, I find him turned to watch us. He pushes my damp hair back from my cheek. “Beautiful,” he says.
And for some unknown reason, I feel like crying.
Why do they have to be like this? Why do they have to make me feel special?
I can’t even move to put some distance between us so I can unscramble my emotions. Slowly, Kain withdraws, but he stays braced over me, kissing my neck and my back, as attentive with the aftercare as he is with the fucking.
Blake’s chest is still heaving, but his fingers lace with mine.
Dalton takes my other hand, bringing it to his soft lips, his beard rough against my skin.
And I feel like I might break apart from the expanding balloon of my feelings that only get bigger with every second we spend entwined like this.
Group sex isn’t supposed to be loving. I’ve seen enough online to know. It’s supposed to be raw and a little violent. It’s supposed to make the woman feel subject to the desires of the men involved. But that’s not how this feels at all.
I close my eyes and try to focus on mundane things that will settle my heart, but memories of Blake, Kain, and Dalton swim into my vision. I recall a day our moms took us on a hike but didn’t bring any swim clothes. When we came across a lake, we all stripped off to our underwear, the boys in their Spiderman briefs and me in my pink butterfly panties. It was weird at first, but once we were in the water, we had so much fun. After, our moms dried us off with a spare sweater, and we went home commando, our wet underwear packed in the picnic basket.
Such a silly memory but laced with so much affection.
And that’s the problem. Whenever I think about these men, I struggle to unpick who they are today, and the deal we’ve made, with who they’ve been to me in the past.
They’ll always be those boys who looked after me like a sister.
And I’ll always be that girl who looked up to them.
Eventually, Kain rises, and I draw back from Blake, easing off his cock, which still feels hard. As I move, a strange sensation makes me look between my legs and then down at the condom. It’s torn, and whatever went inside me when Blake came is now leaking out of me. He notices my sudden intake of breath and then the state of the condom, and he shoots up into a seated position.
“Shit, Gabriella. Fuck.”
“What?” Dalton asks.
“The condom broke,” Blake admits, peeling it away from his cock, his actions jerky and rough.
“Fuck, Blake,” Kain snaps. “Didn’t you realize?”
“No, douchebag. If I did, don’t you think I would have said something?”
“It’s okay,” I say, hating to hear them speak to each other with anger. “I’m due my period in a couple of days. I’m sure it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine.” Kain stands and paces the room. “We don’t want to put you in this position. Not after what happened with Ellie.”
Blake mutters something under his breath and I put my hands between my legs, trying to catch the warm fluid. Knowing Blake came inside me makes me feel hot and aroused behind the slight panic. So weird.
“Gab knows that if something like that happened, we’d be there for her, though.” Dalton says it like it’s a well-known fact rather than something I’ve never considered. They’d be there for me in what way?
Blake touches my arm tentatively, his expression solemn and guilty. “Yeah, Gabriella. Of course we’d be there for you.”
“Be there to sort the problem?” I ask.
“Be there, period.” The firm tone in Kain’s voice takes me by surprise. Are they saying what I think they’re saying? Babies are not on my immediate agenda, but definitely exist in my future plans. I was shocked when Colby, Micky, and Seb were so supportive of Ellie keeping the baby. Men in their early twenties aren’t generally into child-rearing, especially when it’s unplanned.
“It’ll be fine,” I say, even as I say a silent prayer for my period to come on schedule.
“It will be,” Dalton says. “Whatever happens.”
As I start to rise, ready to put my clothes back on and return home to clean myself up, there’s a bang downstairs.
“I’m home,” Lukas’s voice bellows up the stairs.
“Fuck,” Blake hisses, jumping off the bed and scrambling for his clothes.
“He won’t come up here, will he?” I step off the bed and onto shaky legs. Between my legs, I feel wet and deliciously used.
“Maybe.” Dalton’s already half-dressed and so is Kain. “If he does, he’s going to wonder why we’re all in here together in the dark.”
Kain quickly flips the light switch and then dashes to the window and flings it open.
My panties are damp as soon as I pull them on, but I’m dressed again in record time. “What shall I do?”
“Closet,” Kain says.
Feeling ridiculous, like a kid in high school, I dash for the open door and pull it closed behind me. It’s dark and smells just like Kain and I breathe him in, trying to regulate my pounding heart.
There’s a knock at the door and Kain tells his dad to come in.
“What are you guys doing?” Lukas asks in his familiar, gravelly voice. If I’m not mistaken, there’s a slight slur.
“Just hanging out,” Blake says. “Kain’s got a game coming up. He’s telling us about some of Coach’s new tactics.”
“Okay.” Lukas clears his throat. “Dalton, you should be heading to bed now. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
“I will.” Two sets of feet exit the room and then another. Blake must have decided it would be more natural for him to leave, too.
I wait for what feels like a lifetime before Kain opens the door. “The coast is clear,” he whispers. “Dad’s gone to bed.”
“That was so close,” I say. “A few minutes earlier, and he would have heard some noises that none of us would be able to explain.”
“Exactly.”
I step out into the brightness of Kain’s room, smoothing my hair and flexing my shoulders. My body feels wrecked and so does my heart. “I should go,” I say. I need to walk around the corner to get my car.
“I’ll walk you,” Kain says.
“Won’t your dad wonder what you’re doing?”
“He’s already snoring,” Kain laughs. “You’ll hear it when we’re in the hallway.”
I pick up my purse and watch as Kain looks left and right, checking the coast is clear. “Now,” he whispers, and I follow him down the stairs and out into the cool night air.
There’s a stillness about this time of night when most people are inside watching TV or sleeping. Even the birds are silent. Only the rustling trees interrupt the quiet as we tread a careful path to the sidewalk. “Blake’s mortified about what happened,” Kain says, as we reach my car.
“He doesn’t have to be,” I say. “It’s not on him. We were all there.”
“Yeah, but that stupid fucking piercing.”
I shake my head. “It might not have been that. The friction between the two of you could have caused the tear.”
Kain nods. “Just…” He puts his hands in his pockets, widening his stance. In the darkness, his hair and beard are almost black, his sapphire eyes like portals to another world. “...you have to know that we’d never leave you to deal with anything on your own. I know we said this is a no-strings deal, and it wouldn’t be ideal for Travis to find out, but we’d deal with that, okay? We’d take care of you.”
I inhale an involuntarily shaky breath, feeling the burn of tears in my throat. The words ‘no-strings’ sting even though they shouldn’t. I agreed to this. I wanted this. But somehow, hearing the words now from Kain’s lips hurts.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” I say confidently, masking my wobbly feeling. “Thanks for walking me back.”
“Of course,” he says.
“I guess I’ll see you.”
He nods and takes a step closer. With two hands, he cradles my face and I let my eyes drift closed before he kisses me. It’s sweet and affectionate and loaded with more feeling than any no-string arrangement should contain.
I pull away more quickly than I intend and feel regret as soon as I see Kain’s expression fall.
“Tell Blake everything’s fine, okay?” I say, finding my keys in my purse and opening the car.
“I will.”
I force a smile as I close the car door, then throw it into drive. I reach home before Kain, and I don’t wait for him. In my house, I lean against the front door and shake my head.
Maybe a few days’ space will bring things back to where they need to be. A few days’ space and the arrival of my period.