Chapter 25 Shannon
Shannon
Greg texts me at six to tell me he’ll be home for dinner by six forty-five, so I have to cut Hudson and I’s aquarium date short, but not before we’ve both committed to seeing where this relationship is going.
It feels good to have a timeframe for announcing that I’m leaving Gregor, and I’ll feel even better about it next week when, hopefully, I’m able to put a deposit on an apartment.
I’m in the middle of cooking chicken breasts in a sundried tomato sauce when Greg comes in the door at six-thirty.
It’s the earliest he’s been home in ten months.
He greets me at the stove with a kiss. His dry lips press against mine, and I’m so uncomfortable I’m at a serious risk for puking.
Ironically, it feels like the adulterous sins I’m committing are against Hudson instead of the man I said my marriage vows to.
“Did you check the liquor cabinet and get what we needed for Sam and Renee’s visit tomorrow?”
Of course not. I was too busy gallivanting around the aquarium with my boyfriend.
As soon as the title enters my mind, it embraces my insides like a hug.
Hudson is my boyfriend.
“Shannon?” Gregor asks again, fighting my inner thoughts for my attention.
“Oh, I had planned to go tomorrow morning,” I answer. “I was going to see if you could reach out and ask about Renee’s preference so I only have to make one trip.”
Gregor shoots me a satisfied smile like my answer pleases him. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.
“How thoughtful of you,” he says in a tone that makes it more than apparent he thinks I’m seeking his praise. “I’ll check with Simon and let you know.”
“Great,” I reply sarcastically.
We eat in awkward silence while Greg checks his emails and I feed Serafina.
He doesn’t offer to reheat my cold dinner or help with her bath and bedtime routine, and when I come back downstairs to go through patient charts and check on my schedule for tomorrow, Greg is sitting on the couch and asks me to fix brownies, like I’m his fucking chef.
“I can’t tonight. I have about fifteen patient charts to review before bed, but we have all the stuff to make them if you want to throw them in the oven,” I tell him, working hard to keep the bite out of my voice.
“Do I really ask that much of you?” he asks over the rim of his reading glasses.
“I said not tonight,” I fire back.
He blows out a dramatic breath. “Christ, Shannon. I thought going back to work was supposed to make you happy. All it’s done is make you even more of a bitch.”
My eyes grow wide and I can’t help the laugh of disbelief that escapes from my mouth.
“Excuse me? Greg, are you on drugs?” I ask, now completely serious.
“Of course not,” he scoffs. “Maybe I should ask you the same thing after your complete personality change.”
“Yes, I’ve made some changes, but that’s what we’re supposed to do.
As humans we grow, we evolve. Becoming better versions of ourselves often requires change.
You ought to know about change since I haven’t seen the man I married in quite a while,” I argue, angrily shoving my laptop in my bag.
“I’m sleeping down here in the guest room tonight.
” He no longer has the power to hurt me and I assume he knows that, so he’s lashing out.
“Just do me a favor and try to behave yourself when Simon and Renee are here tomorrow,” he fires over the back of the couch, causing me to stop in my tracks halfway down the hall.
“I’m not a child, Gregor,” I say calmly, walking back to the living room, knowing the inevitable is about to happen.
“Then stop acting like one.” His tone is bitter and arrogant.
I feel the words roiling inside me, like that nauseating feeling you get when you know the only thing that can stop the churning is expelling the poison from your body.
Except, I need an apartment. I need an attorney. And I need them before Greg realizes that my paycheck isn’t going into our joint account.
One more week.
Simon and Renee are set to arrive promptly at eight the next night. Greg is used to staying up late so this is early for him, but I’m now used to going to bed as soon as I get Serafina down for the night and I’m exhausted.
Yet here I am, brushing fresh blush onto my cheeks in my next-to-last effort to be the dutiful wife.
Already in character, and laying it on thick, Greg comes into our bathroom and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.
I give no reaction and just continue getting ready as best I can.
“You look beautiful,” he murmurs against my skin. I turn my head slightly to create distance between his lips and my cheek.
“Thanks.” I don’t even bother with a smile. Undeterred by my attitude, he slides his hand across my ass, causing me to turn and face him. “Greg, what are you doing?” I ask directly.
“Admiring my wife,” he says casually, as if he does this all the time.
“Well, admire from a distance, I need to finish getting ready and go plate the food I spent all day preparing.”
He takes a lazy sip of whatever he’s drinking—at least he didn’t ask me to make it for him—and fixes me with a stare. He looks satisfied with himself and the calculating look in his eyes is mildly terrifying.
I finish in the bathroom and head downstairs, Gregor following like a puppy.
“Will you please text Simon and ask them not to ring the doorbell? I don’t want to wake Serafina.”
“Of course, darling,” he replies smoothly.
I shake my head. “And can you please turn on the porch lights out front and back and start the fire pit so we don’t freeze our asses off out there?”
At my mention of the fire pit, my mind does a deep dive into the day it was delivered and my cheeks heat.
God, I miss Hudson.
I miss those sinful lips and the way his hands feel on my body. I miss the way his eyes shine when he sees me and how his easy kindness restores my faith in humanity.
“Anything you want,” Greg says agreeably, heading for the back door.
Spare me, I think to myself.
Simon and Renee show up ten minutes later; all handshakes and cheek kisses and overly enthusiastic hellos.
They’ve been here once before, but they gush like it’s the first time.
“Oh, Shannon, this space is so lovely!” Renee beams as she surveys our pool and outdoor kitchen.
I smile, but my eyes are glued to the loveseat where Hudson and I shared our first kiss.
“Can I get you all something to drink?” I offer.
As they rattle off their answers, I head inside to prepare the beverages.
As I deliver the drinks to everyone back outside, Renee eyes me sweetly as she says, “Shannon, I didn’t know you had a brother.”
I look at Greg quizzically, like maybe he told her I did.
I shake my head. “I don’t.”
“Oh, well that gentleman you were with at the aquarium was so comfortable with you and little Sera, I assumed he was a relative.”
I feel Greg’s eyes cut to me in question, but he stays silent, waiting for me to explain.
“Just a friend I ran into,” I answer, staring Renee dead in her pot-stirring eyes.
Why do people intentionally stick their noses in other people’s business?
Does she think she’s somehow helping my marriage?
Is she trying to gain favor with Gregor or earn praise from her own husband by calling me out like this?
If the roles were reversed, I’d keep my God-forsaken mouth shut because she and I aren’t friends like that, and if we were, I’d have the decency to approach her in private.
But no.
The only way to handle this is with the truth. Take the wind out of her gossiping sails. So, turning to Gregor I say, “I ran into Hudson at the aquarium. He was there with his niece and nephew.”
Greg’s eyes darken and his jaw clenches, but not wanting to air our dirty laundry, he wraps an arm around my waist and kisses the side of my head.
“Nice guy. Hudson is the KPS driver that delivers to our neighborhood,” he explains, oversharing unnecessarily.
“Brought flowers to Shan once after waking Serafina from a nap.” His fingers dig painfully in my hip as he talks.
“Seems to have developed a little crush on my wife.”
“And not bad to look at,” Renee says, giggling into her champagne flute.
Needing the conversation to move away from Hudson, I direct my attention to Simon and ask how the firm is doing. Thankfully, neither Simon nor my husband can resist talking about themselves so I’m spared from having to answer more probing questions for about forty minutes.
But then they start talking about the upcoming retreat.
“Oh, it’s going to be so wonderful,” Renee sings. “Shannon, are you going to be able to make it? I remember you said your attendance was questionable due to your new job. Congratulations by the way."
“Oh, Shannon, I didn’t know you went back to work,” Simon says, his tone slightly disapproving.
“I did,” I reply curtly. “I’ll be driving down to the resort on Friday evening after I get off.” Then just to try and repair some of the damage Renee has done, I add, “I wouldn’t miss the partner banquet in Greg’s honor.”
I’m not sure if these two can pick up on the tension between Greg and I or if they’re just happy to go along with the script and ignore it, but they smile dutifully as Simon praises Greg for all his recent hard work.
“Yes, he’s more than earned his partnership. They took a little too long to offer it if you ask me. I feel good about what you’re going to do for the firm with the Ellington case you took over from Driscoll. Court date’s been set, right?”
Greg nods. “Starts right after we get back from the Outer Banks as a matter of fact. It’s important for all of us that he walks, eh?” Greg laughs and clinks his glass with Simon’s. The gesture makes me uneasy, like I’m missing something.
As our evening winds down, I say my goodbyes and head inside to clean up while Greg walks our guests to their car. I’m trying to brace myself for the shit I’m going to catch about my outing with Hudson as a thought occurs to me…I need to let Hudson know.
Shannon
Greg knows about the aquarium. I suspect he’ll be paying more attention so I can’t call or text for a while. Please don’t give up on me.
Once I hit send, I quickly delete the text, praying Hudson doesn’t text me back, and clear his number from my call log before slipping the phone back into the pocket of my slacks.
I had once told Hudson that I didn’t think Greg would physically hurt me, but I’ve never pushed him this far and the truth is, I just don’t know anymore.
When I hear the garage door lowering, signaling that our guests are gone, my hands grow clammy.
I avoid Greg’s eyes like the guilty party I am when he moves to the end of the island and just waits until I look up at him.
“That was lovely.” I smile, trying to keep my voice even.
Greg wastes no time. “Are you kidding me, Shannon? The delivery guy? Are you fucking him?”
I know it’s splitting hairs, but in this moment, I’m thankful Hudson stopped us that night so that based on the literal definition of fucking, I can honestly say no.
“Absolutely not, Greg.” I don’t go to him. I don’t make excuses or try to explain it further than that.
“I’m supposed to believe you just happened to run into Mr. Popping Muscles With The Flowers on a random Friday at the aquarium?”
Desperation. That’s the only reason I can think that I’ve gotten careless.
I should never have agreed to meet Hudson in public, especially knowing Renee’s connection there, but I wanted to see him so badly, I’d convinced myself we wouldn’t get caught.
Now, my main concern is protecting Hudson at all costs.
“Yes.”
“Well, I don’t,” Greg replies.
There are so many things I want to say like, our ship has sailed. Maybe you should’ve paid more attention when I needed it, but I bite my tongue, knowing that won’t help the situation.
“I don’t know what to tell you,” I reply honestly, keeping my hands busy with the remainder of the kitchen clean up.
I pour the untouched olives back in their jar, scoop the remaining crackers back in their package and replace the clip, rinse the cookie sheets that held the jalapeno poppers, all while Greg stands there watching me.
While I’m at the sink, he moves behind me and brushes my hair off my neck.
I flinch.
“You’re acting guilty, Shannon.”
“You’re making me nervous, Greg,” I admit. “For months you haven’t wanted to touch me or be near me and now that you’re accusing me of sleeping with another man, you’re all over me. It’s unsettling.”
Greg presses in closer and whispers in my ear, “I’ll sweep your misdeeds under the rug this one time, but your contact with him stops now or I’ll ruin him and make you deliver the final blow.”
I go completely still because there is no doubt in my mind that Greg means every word he just said.