Chapter Four Lacey #2
“Yeah, except she didn’t finish it.” My gaze goes to the four things she never crossed off: travel internationally, get a piercing, learn the “Thriller” dance, and kiss someone under the stars.
“Maybe she did and just didn’t cross them off. I bet your dad kissed her under the stars at some point.”
“Yeah,” I say, but I still can’t shake the feeling of sadness for all the things she didn’t get to do. Not just these four items. I bet she thought she had all sorts of time to do everything she wanted.
I’m still thinking about it when the first bell rings. I tuck the paper back into my bag and slip it into my locker.
“It makes me wonder what I’d put on a list.” Claire opens her locker next to mine. She thinks for a minute. “I want to cut my hair, and I have a bunch of books I want to read that I haven’t yet. Oh, and I’d like to go to space.”
“Ooooh not me. Floating around up there freaks me out.” I shiver at the thought, and Claire laughs.
Austin and Rowan are still hovering nearby, and when Vaughn arrives, they announce it to the entire hallway. “Collins!”
Claire looks back at the guys as they gather around their team captain.
Even when they’re not on the soccer field, they treat him like their leader.
I guess I understand that. A lot of the cheerleaders do the same to me, especially the younger ones.
I have a sudden empathy for Vaughn. We’ve both taken on big roles for our teams—roles that are usually reserved for seniors. It’s a lot of pressure.
When my best friend glances back at me, she says, “I heard you hooked him up with Caleb for tutoring.”
The reminder of that favor makes my mood plummet. I think it’s guilt, though I don’t know why I feel bad. I don’t tutor. That wasn’t a lie, exactly. Occasionally I help out my friends, which is what I did for Rowan. And Caleb is smart. Maybe even smarter than me.
“Yeah,” I say, sneaking a glance at Vaughn. He looks over at me at the same time, our eyes locking from ten feet apart. I might be imagining it, but he looks genuinely upset or worried. Unfortunately, broody is a good look for him.
Claire’s light laughter distracts me enough that I come to my senses and look away first.
“Why is it you still look like you want to toss a pom-pom at his head whenever Vaughn is around?” she asks.
“You know why,” I say pointedly.
“Because of me?” she asks, sounding genuinely surprised that could be the real reason. He broke up with her right after she hurt her foot and learned she couldn’t keep skating competitively. It was a crummy thing to do, and I feel completely validated in holding a grudge against him for it.
I don’t answer, but she must read it on my face because hers softens, and she laughs again.
“You don’t need to keep holding a grudge for my benefit. In fact, I’d rather you didn’t. Vaughn and I are good.”
Sure, it’s been six months since they broke up, so it is possible she really is telling the truth, but I guess my ability to hold a grudge is better. Hurt my feelings, fine. Hurt my best friend’s feelings…I’m going to hold on to that forever.
“Not just because of how he treated you. He’s so…apathetic about everything.”
“No.” She shakes her head.
I arch a brow.
“Okay, fine, he can come off that way, but I think it’s because of all the pressure he feels to live up to his dad. He’s like a duck. Calm on the surface but paddling like hell below.”
Laughing, I consider her words, feeling the tiniest bit of guilt for possibly judging him too harshly.
“All I’m saying is that he’s a good guy underneath his sometimes prickly exterior.
He’s loyal and hardworking. I’ve never known anyone with more drive and commitment than him, but he also cares deeply about his teammates and friends.
He does a lot of things quietly, without a lot of fanfare, which makes it easier to miss.
Actually, now that I think about it, you two are more alike than I realized. ”
I make a face at being compared to Vaughn.
“Anyway.” She chuckles softly. “Vaughn and I are okay. You can stop hating him on my behalf.” Claire reaches out and squeezes my arm. “I have to get to class. See you at lunch?”
I nod, and she heads off to class, Austin trailing behind her. When they’re gone, I sneak another glance in the direction of Vaughn. He’s alone now, at his locker, getting his things for first period. Even in profile I can tell his brows are pulled together and his jaw is locked tight.
I do my best to let go of any animosity I was holding toward him about Claire, but there’s still something about him that makes my stomach swoop and my pulse kick up a notch.
With my notebook in hand, I head his direction.
He doesn’t look up until I’m standing right next to him.
“Hey.” His gaze does a quick sweep of me, homing in on my Frost Lake High cheer T-shirt before lifting back to my face.
“Hi.” For some reason the word comes out super high-pitched. Somehow Vaughn’s social awkwardness always seems to rub off on me. “I just wanted to say good luck on your test. It’s Monday, right?”
His chin dips in a slow nod. “Thanks.”
Vaughn continues to stare at me, unspeaking, until I bob my head awkwardly. “Cool. Well, uh, I should get going.”
He still says nothing. God, this is painful.
“Later.” I swivel around so fast I make myself slightly motion sick and book it to class.