Chapter Eight Lacey
Chapter Eight
Lacey
“Sorry about this,” I say as Vaughn and I sit on the hardwood floor of the gym. We were supposed to meet up at his house again to study, but I forgot the cheerleaders had planned to make signs for the soccer team tonight.
God, I must have really been thrown off last night when we made plans, because making the decorations for the school any time something big is happening is one of my favorite things. I never met a tube of glitter I didn’t like.
“It’s fine,” he says, but he looks about two seconds away from bolting.
All around the gym, my fellow cheerleaders are busy with markers and posterboards. Someone turned on music and some of the girls are singing along.
“It’s supposed to be a surprise,” I tell him. “We’re going to decorate the hallways and lockers too.”
He nods, staring down at the little soccer balls I cut out of construction paper in front of me. I need to add all the players’ names and numbers still.
“How was class today?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Fine.”
I don’t ask him to expand, and Vaughn doesn’t offer up any more details. Sometimes it is actually painful trying to talk to him.
I pull out my notes, and he opens his laptop and brings up a practice sheet. I review one with him and he nods along, but when it’s time for him to do one on his own, he just sits there. His gaze moves up from the screen.
Most of the girls are still in their tight shorts or leggings and sports bras from practice. I guess I can’t blame him for checking them out, but it’s a little surprising. Vaughn never really seems to be that into the attention. And he gets plenty of it.
“I can send them outside in the breezeway if that’ll help your focus.”
“What?” he asks, then shakes his head. “No. I’m not…”
“It’s okay. I get it. Hot girls or math.” I put both hands out in front of me like I’m weighing the two options.
“I’d just like to keep them from witnessing me looking like a complete idiot. It’s humiliating.”
“What is?”
“The whole school knowing that I failed and need a tutor.”
My mouth forms the word “Oh” but no sound comes out. I hadn’t thought about what it must be like for everyone to know he’s struggling.
“So, the last thing I need right now is…that,” he says in a flat tone before returning his gaze to the screen.
“That?”
He motions with his right hand, pencil still gripped in his fingers. “A girlfriend. I don’t have time for anything but soccer. And passing algebra,” he says like it’s just an add-on to do the first. And I guess it is.
I can’t hold in a scoff. He used that exact excuse when he broke up with Claire. It was bullshit then, and it’s bullshit now.
“What?” he asks.
I shake my head and keep my thoughts to myself.
But he continues to stare at me like he’s content to wait all night for me to answer.
“You can handle whatever you want to handle. People make up all sorts of excuses when they aren’t interested instead of just saying so.”
“You think I’m making up excuses?”
“Definitely.”
Everyone knows it’s a classic blow-off answer.
He manages to look amused and offended at the same time.
I roll my eyes but can’t help pointing out the hypocrisy of his statement. “If—I don’t know—some model with big boobs and perfect legs walked in, you’d have a different answer.”
“No,” he says adamantly.
“No?”
“I’m not making up excuses, and it doesn’t matter what she looks like, I don’t have any interest in dating or hooking up.”
The phrase “hooking up” coming out of Vaughn’s mouth makes my skin flush. An embarrassing image of him doing just that makes it so I can’t look at him. What the hell, Lacey?
He shifts so one leg angles toward me. “I’m failing algebra and benched from the team. All my attention has to go to that.”
“Mm-hmm. Sure.” I clear my throat.
“I’m serious.”
“If you say so.” I smile as sweetly as I can and hope my face isn’t as red as it feels.
We fall quiet, and I write out Rowan’s name and number in glue, then douse glitter on top. Shaking it off onto another paper, I hold up the final product.
“I’m not a good boyfriend,” he says.
I guess I’m not surprised he isn’t impressed with my cute, glittery sign. I set it on the floor with the others.
“You could be if you wanted. You’re choosing other things instead, and that’s fine, but at least be honest about it.”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I think that might be as hopeless as algebra.”
His response pulls an anxious laugh from me. What do I care if he’s a good boyfriend or not? It isn’t like I’m trying to date him.
His mouth quirks up at the corners too. He’s really handsome when he smiles. It makes all his features softer, and he has this great chin dimple that appears. I catch myself staring at him and look back to the locker signs in front of me. Of course the next one is Vaughn’s.
His gaze falls to it as well. “You don’t need to decorate my locker.”
“You’re a part of the team.” Even the coaches and team manager get signs. There’s no way I’m leaving out the captain.
“Yeah, the water boy,” he mumbles.
“It’s one game. You’ll be back.”
He nods almost like he’s convincing himself it’s true.
“Thank you,” he says, catching me off guard. While I’m still silent, he adds, “I know you don’t like me, and you think the way I treated Claire was awful. You’re not wrong. I told you I’m not good at being a boyfriend, but I know I fucked that up.”
“You don’t need to keep thanking me or apologizing about Claire. She’s happy now, and that’s all that matters.”
A muscle in his cheek flexes. Maybe I should feel bad for pointing this out to him, but it’s not exactly a secret.
I wonder if he still misses her, but I don’t ask.
Of course he does. Claire is the best. Though, when I try to picture them together, I can’t anymore.
She and Austin are so cute and perfect for each other that it makes even her much longer relationship with Vaughn feel less important somehow.
But I doubt he feels that way. He might have, as he put it, fucked that up, but even I could tell he was upset when she first started seeing Austin.
Vaughn watches me as I trace his name and number with glue and then sprinkle the glitter. I shake off the excess onto another paper and hold it out in front of us.
A hint of a smile tugs at one corner of his mouth but then drops.
“Here.” I hand it to him. “You can decide whether you put it up, but regardless of where you’re standing tomorrow night, you’re still a huge part of the team.”
Our fingers brush as he takes it from me and a little spark shoots up my arm. I stare at my fingers strangely.
“Sorry,” I say, as he seems to be having the same reaction. Did I just shock him?
“It’s, uh, fine.” He puts the locker sign down next to him.
“Okay,” I say, shaking myself out of whatever weird moment we seem to be having. “Ready?”
He nods.
“First we’ll tackle algebra, and then you’ll see it’s so easy, a girlfriend can’t be much of a stretch.”
“Let’s just stick with math.”
* * *
Friday at school the halls are buzzing with excitement for tonight’s soccer game. I was at the school late hanging the signs, but it’s worth it. They look great, and I spot some of the sophomore guys snapping selfies in front of them before school.
When I get to my locker, Claire and Austin are standing next to it as usual, but Vaughn is with them.
He leans against the metal, looking more relaxed than he had last night.
He’s actually not a bad student. He’s hard on himself and quick to get frustrated, but we’ve made some good progress in just a few nights working together.
We had to go back to the beginning of the semester and work forward, but he’s getting there.
“Hi,” I say as I open my locker.
“The halls look especially sparkly this morning.” Claire giggles knowingly.
“Do they?” I feign ignorance. “I hadn’t noticed.”
She reaches out and takes my hand. The tips of my fingers glitter. Oops. Guess I didn’t manage to wash away all the evidence. Laughing, she drops my hand.
“Bad news though, someone vandalized the locker signs.”
“What?” I shove my bag into my locker and let my gaze move to the lockers in question.
“They turned mine into a disco ball.” Austin moves to show me where someone added a lot more glitter than I had originally and crossed out Austin to write Disco. I bust out laughing.
“That is so perfect, I wish I had thought of it myself.”
Vaughn’s mouth pulls up at one corner.
“What did they do to yours?” Claire asks Vaughn.
I brace myself for disappointment. His is the only one that wasn’t up last night, since I gave it to him directly. It felt wrong, but I know tonight is going to be hard for him.
“They didn’t touch mine,” he says, and when my gaze finally snags on his, I feel a strange sense of pride and excitement. He hung it up.
I meet his stare and the other side of his mouth lifts, his chin dimple also making an appearance.
“Totally not fair,” Austin says. He and Claire move to check out all the other signs. Someone added nicknames and little drawings to every other one. I should probably be offended but the guys seem to love it.
“You put it up,” I say quietly to Vaughn.
“This morning.” He nods. “After the others had been vandalized. Are you upset?”
“That someone drew on the signs?” I ask, then shake my head. “No. If anything, they are drawing more attention than usual.”
Rowan slings an arm around my shoulders. “The halls look great, Lacey. The guys are pumped.”
He’s gone as quick as he appeared, leaving me alone with Vaughn again.
“And you?” I ask. “Are you pumped?”
“I’ll be pumped if they win and I pass my algebra test next week.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
He continues smiling at me, and my stomach flutters with this new version of him I’ve never seen.
“What would that even look like?”
“Me pumped?”
“Yeah. I’m struggling to picture it. You’ve really got the broody, serious thing down.” I wave one hand in front of him.
He huffs a laugh but doesn’t argue my point.
Claire calls my name, and when I look up, she motions for me to join her.
“I’ll see you later,” I tell him.
“Yeah.”
Neither of us moves.
“Good luck tonight.”
“I think I can manage to fill some water bottles.”
“Make sure it’s high-quality H-two-oh.” I make a reference to a ’90s comedy I’m sure he’s never seen.
“You know The Waterboy?”
“Of course. I’m surprised you do.” Picturing him watching a comedy or laughing are both difficult.
“Of course.” His smile falters on one side. “I thought it was a lot funnier before I became the water boy though.”