Chapter Thirty-seven Vaughn #2
“Why haven’t you said anything?” Staying in this house all by himself sounds awful and lonely. Dad and I don’t talk that much, but there’s a reassurance in hearing someone else moving around at least.
“Because I’m fine.”
“Why don’t you come stay with me?”
“No.” Rowan shakes his head.
“Why not?”
“I’m okay here. Really.”
“Then at least come for dinner.”
“Seriously. I don’t need anything. Except for you to tell me what’s up with you and Lacey. I’m assuming that’s why you drove all the way out here.”
“I came because Austin said you were sick and you weren’t answering your phone.”
“Uh-huh.” He waits like he knows there’s more to it than that.
“Nothing’s up with me and Lacey. We aren’t talking anymore.” I shrug like I don’t care while we both know I do.
“Is that why you’ve been spending every waking second practicing, to take your mind off her?”
If that were my plan, it isn’t working. “I’m just trying to focus on improving.”
“You’re the best forward in the state.”
High school state titles mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. If I were truly the best, I’d have led my team all the way to the State Championship. If you’re the best on the best team, then it’s worth noting, but otherwise it’s just a weak consolation.
I sigh as I lean back in the chair. “I know I can’t make up for how things went this season, but I need to prepare now so it doesn’t happen again.”
His brows tug together in the center. “What are you talking about? We had a great season.”
“We lost.”
“One team in the entire state ends the season on a win.” He holds up his finger for emphasis.
And for the past two years that team was us.
“Is this about your dad? Is he giving you shit?” Rowan asks.
“He’s barely said a word about the game or the end of the season,” I admit, then I remember his words from earlier. He’s proud of me. I still don’t know what to make of that. Is it even true?
“Then I don’t get it. You’ve always had a good work ethic, but this is some next-level shit.”
“I don’t want to be the reason we lose again next year, okay? This one is on me, but never again.”
“What do you mean, it’s on you?” he repeats my words with an air of disbelief.
“Between sitting out for my grades and then losing focus this past month, I wasn’t at my best.”
“Literally nothing you’re saying right now makes any sense.” He rubs his forehead with two fingers.
“My dad warned me when Lacey and I first started hanging out that I was losing focus, and I didn’t listen. It’s my fault we lost.”
“Fuck that.”
He doesn’t get it, but I know my head wasn’t in it like it should have been. It couldn’t have been. Lacey consumed so much of my thoughts. And I tell him just that. Admitting it to someone makes me feel a little better. And a lot foolish as Rowan cocks one dark brow at me.
“Look, I know you believe all that, so I’m going to be nice when I say you’re an idiot.”
“How is that nice?” I ask.
“Trust me. What I’m thinking is a lot worse.”
“You don’t get it.”
He sits forward, looking more clear than he has since I walked in. “No, you don’t. And I feel like garbage, so I don’t think I can explain it to you tonight. Just think about this: you had some of the best stats of your career this season. Many of them in the past month while you were with her.”
“You’re only proving my point. All it takes is losing focus for one game and it’s over.”
“I was at the semifinal game too. You didn’t lose focus.
You were great. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have had a chance.
Austin was feeling the pressure, and I was sloppy.
Every one of us made mistakes.” He grits his teeth, and for the first time I realize I’m not the only one feeling like I let the team down.
“Pacific was just better than us that day,” he says.
The doorbell rings and Rowan stands. “I’ll bet that’s food. Are you staying?”
“Yeah. Is that cool? I don’t feel like going back home tonight.”
“Of course. Though as soon as this cold medicine kicks in, I’m probably going to be out. Make yourself at home. I’ll be right back.”
I text Dad to let him know where I am and sit with Rowan while he eats and then proceeds to pass out on the couch exactly as predicted.
I wander down the hall into the media room. Taking a seat in one of the leather chairs, I recline it back and pull out my phone.
I’ve already read back through Lacey’s and my texts a dozen times this week, but I do it again, this time stopping on a picture she took of us at Doyle’s camp.
We’d taken the four-wheeler out to the apple tree again, but this time instead of picking apples we lay under the stars and talked about anything and everything and kissed until my lips were chapped.
An ache starts deep in my chest the longer I stare at us. She looks gorgeous, and I look…happy.
* * *
I wake up to Rowan standing over me. He looks better than he did last night but his voice is hoarse as he says, “Get up, Cap.”
I rub the sleep from both eyes. “What’s going on?”
“It’s time.” With that cryptic message he starts walking out of the media room where I guess I passed out last night. It was a long night of staring at old photos and reading text messages and having a pity party of one.
I follow Rowan through the house and into the living room, coming up short when I see the entire team is huddled around the massive area. People are sitting on the furniture, the floor, others standing or leaning on walls.
“What is this?” I ask, glancing around at the guys.
Rowan walks over to a soccer ball on the floor, uses the toe of his foot to kick it into the air, and catches it. “Team meeting.”
“Okay.”
“Uh-uh.” He shakes a finger at me. “You can only speak if you have the ball.”
I arch a brow but say nothing.
Rowan walks into the middle of the room, moving the ball from hand to hand and looking contemplative. “I could have pushed harder in practices and games if I had minimized my partying during the season.”
A couple of guys snort with laughter and Rowan cracks a small smile. “I love this team, and next year I’m going to do better by all of you.”
“Disco, you’re up.” He then tosses the ball to Austin, who stands and takes Rowan’s place.
“Where do I even start?” He spins the ball in his hands. “I made a lot of mistakes this year.”
“You mean like kissing Collins’s girlfriend?” someone asks.
“Ex-girlfriend,” Austin corrects with a grin.
“Respect the ball,” Rowan reminds everyone then waves for Austin to continue.
“Leaving out the misunderstanding with Vaughn,” Austin says, smiling playfully and then cutting me a sly look.
“My footwork at the beginning of the season was abysmal, and I had more than a few moments of panic in the past few games. I’ve never played with or against better players or had more fun.
This is a great team, and I’m proud to have been a part of it. ”
The mood in the room shifts. Austin tosses the ball to Eddie, who talks about feeling the pressure and not handling it well.
It goes on like that. Each guy stands and airs out all the mistakes he made this season.
From not trying their hardest to game play errors.
No two guys say the same thing, but the common theme seems to be that everyone has regrets.
The other commonality is the love for the game and our team. Everyone vows to do better.
When it’s Barrett’s turn, he holds the ball against his right hip. “I guess you could say I made the costliest mistakes on the team. Every ball that got past me this season haunts me, but no more than that last game. I’m sorry I didn’t stop them. And, uh, I’m sorry for being an asshole.”
There’s a chorus of laughter and he grins sheepishly. “The last four years have been some of the best times. I’ll never forget this team. Give ’em hell next year.”
After everyone else has had their turn, the ball is tossed to me. I move to the middle of the room. I can feel every set of eyes on me.
“I let my grades slip, which caused me to miss an important game. Coach was definitely pissed more this season because of me, and there a million other things I probably should have done differently. I love this game and this team. It’s an honor to be your captain, and I’m sorry if I let you down.”
Rowan stands again and takes the ball from me. “You didn’t let us down. Don’t you see? None of us are perfect. We all have things we wish we could do differently. The way I see it, the only option is to come back next year and dominate.”
“Hell yeah,” Eli pipes in.
“What do you say, Cap?” Rowan asks me. “Should we get out of here and have one last scrimmage before school for old times’ sake?”
“I say… let’s fucking do it.”
Rowan puts his hand up in the air and the guys all crowd around him. I’m the last one to put my hand up. Chills race down my arm.
“Knights on three,” I say. “One, two…”
“Knights!”