21. Ava
Chapter 21
Ava
Jet holds me around the waist, peppering kisses up and down my neck while placing me down onto my feet beside his bed.
“Don’t move.”
He strides into his bathroom, returning with a washcloth. He presses it between my thighs, his nostrils flaring as I flinch.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
“Ava?”
“I’m just tender. You made me come three times, And you’re… big.”
His brows lift, but the arrogant comment I’m expecting never comes. He throws the washcloth onto the nightstand and lifts me into his arms, before lowering me onto the bed. This is the third time we’ve had sex, and the third time he’s insisted on carrying me afterward. Not that I’m complaining. My legs feel like jelly.
He crawls up, bracing himself over me on his arms. “I meant what I said. Stay with me. Sleep in here.”
“I have my own room.”
His brows flatten. “This giant fucking villa was a stupid idea. I want you here with me. Not alone in another room.”
Alone.
I rub at my throat and the scratchy sensation there. “Okay.”
“Good girl.”
He presses a soft kiss to my lips, then lies behind me, pulling me into him.
“I want you here with me every night, Ava,” he murmurs, sliding his arm around my waist and resting his hand on my stomach. “Every goddamn morning, noon, and night.”
“Control freak,” I whisper, sucking in a breath as his teeth nip my shoulder.
“I need control.” His nip turns into a succession of slow, sleepy kisses that send warmth blooming over my skin. “So I can keep you safe,” he murmurs. “It’s all so you’re safe with me.”
I draw in a shaky breath as his breaths even out and he slips into a peaceful sleep. I haven’t felt safe in ten years. But having Jet’s warm body cocooning mine like I’m precious makes me feel close to it.
So close.
“Jet?” My voice strains through the darkness of the room.
I swipe away the tears on my cheeks as I sit up. The drapes to the balcony of Jet’s upstairs bedroom are blowing in the breeze. I have no idea what time it is, only that it’s still dark outside, and my dream woke me.
“What’s wrong?” His hand finds my hip, his warm fingers caressing some calm back into the taut skin.
I stare out through the drapes, pulling in a shaky inhale. “I didn’t tell you the truth earlier. Not all of it.”
The warmth of his body fills the space beside me as he joins me, the thin white sheet pooling around his tanned waist.
“Tell me now.”
The low, deep coaxing of his voice is like permission. A warm, safe permission, taking control and allowing me to open up and talk. Not worry about the consequences of how many pieces I will be broken into afterward.
I look into his dark eyes. They hold mine. Waiting .
“I was in the plane crash that killed my father and the pilot.”
“I know.”
“You know?” I blink, and he continues to hold my eyes, the perfect picture of control and calm that I so desperately need.
“I know you better than you think, Ava.”
It must have been the way I acted on the flight to New York, being so anxious. Jet must have tuned into it, realized the reason.
His admission calms me, because sometimes I wonder if I even know myself. At least if someone knows me, then I won’t ever get lost. Cease to exist. Forgotten.
“I saw it all. The blood, the…” I swallow, turning to look out through the blowing drapes at the night sky. “I was in the forest for three days before they found me. They were so close. I heard the helicopter. I screamed for them to see me. I screamed so hard I lost my voice. But they flew away. I thought I was going to be alone there forever.”
His warm fingers flex on my hip before he continues stroking.
“I was unconscious when they found me. Gramps said I didn’t talk for months after. I was too scared to remember it all.”
I turn to him, tears racing down my cheeks as my breath turns into a sob.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you. I just… all the flights we’ve taken. It’s bringing it back. And… ”
He wraps me in his arms without saying anything. His lips dip into my hair and he kisses the crown of my head.
“It’s what I’ve been writing about. My therapist suggested it years ago, but I could never bring myself to do it.”
“That’s what you’ve been working on,” he says in understanding.
I sniff. “All the newspapers and TV shows kept calling for months afterward. They wanted my story. They even gave me a nickname… But I… I never wanted to tell it. I…” A sob escapes me, and Jet shushes me, turning my face inside his palm so I meet his eyes.
They bring an instant calm to me as I look into their unwavering depth.
“No one has to ever read it if that’s what you want. It’s for you, Ava, no one else.”
I nod as he wipes my tears away with his thumbs. “I know. But I had this stupid idea that I might finally share it… If I feel ready once it’s finished.”
“I’m so fucking proud of you.”
His words floor me.
“I am,” he repeats, searching my eyes. “You’re so strong.”
“I’m not.”
He moves slowly, pressing a kiss to my lips. “You are.” He presses another kiss to my lips, then pauses. “Tell me what you want. We can stay up the rest of the night and talk. Or I can just be here beside you until you can get back to sleep. Whatever you want, Ava. ”
I swallow. “I want you to kiss me again. Keep kissing me.”
“You sure?” His lips dust mine in the gentlest of kisses, and his hand skates up over my jaw.
“Yes,” I breathe. “Do it again.” I lean into his palm as he slants his mouth over mine.
He kisses me with a gentleness I’ve only seen fleeting glimpses of in him before. This time his kisses aren’t urgent or infused with lust. He takes his time. Wanting nothing in return.
I pull him closer and whisper his name.
“Ava,” he murmurs, sinking back onto the mattress and pulling me with him. His dark hair falls forward as he rolls us until he’s hovering above me on strong arms.
His eyes blaze into mine before he kisses me again, making heat pool between my thighs.
“You can’t fuck me better, Jet.” I try and force a smile.
“No, I can’t.”
He holds my eyes as something unspoken passes between us. Then he dips his head and kisses me again. I wrap my arms around his neck, parting my thighs where I feel his growing hardness between us.
“Jet,” I murmur.
He rests his forehead against mine. “I won’t touch you, Ava. You can relax.”
“I want you to.” I wriggle, encouraging him to move closer. His eyes pinch at the corners as our skin slides together. “I want you to,” I repeat as I trace a fingertip over his furrowed brows. “ Please, Jet .”
His eyes search mine, and he must find whatever he’s looking for, because his breath leaves his lungs in a slow exhale against my lips as he pushes himself inside me slowly.
“Goddamn, Ava,” he groans.
My lips part on a quiet moan before he steals it straight from my lungs with another kiss. He moves inside me, threading his hands through my hair and stroking my cheeks with his thumbs.
“So beautiful,” he rasps.
I lose track of how long our bodies move together, entwined in a beautiful heat that thrums through me, making me feel like I’m nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Like nothing exists outside of this moment.
Jet holds my eyes the entire time, pushing inside me again, a low groan caught in the back of his throat.
“Jet, that feels…”
He slides inside me again, bringing his body flush with mine.
“Let go,” he breathes.
I stare into his eyes as tingling spreads through me.
“I’m… I’m…”
“I know, Ava.”
His hold mine hostage as I unravel. It doesn’t make me scream out his name like the others. It doesn’t make me squeeze my eyes shut, unsure if I can take any more.
It makes me float .
It makes everything around me disappear except the light in his eyes as he watches me.
It makes me feel adored and treasured and blissful all at once.
Jet’s lips curl, but before I can focus and see if it’s a smile, he kisses me again, murmuring “Ava” against my lips as he comes inside me, spreading heat through every part of me that it reaches.
“So beautiful,” he breathes, holding my face. “ So fucking beautiful .”
I stir sometime later, panicked as Jet’s heavy arm pins me in place around the waist. I gaze at his calm face. It’s lit up by the sunrise floating in through the open drapes.
He’s so handsome. So devastatingly beautiful in a way that could break me if I let it. The aftercare and the sweet Jet who tells me I’m safe, is one I can’t get used to. It’s a dangerous hope to think that I could feel like this every day, and not have the fear of being alone clawing at me like it always has.
I’ve learned to live with it, like a constant companion. I can’t place that weight onto him after one emotional night together. I’m sure he’ll wake and act like nothing happened. Like I didn’t cry in his arms and tell him how I screamed to be seen. How I felt terror grip me like an icy fist around my throat when I saw the helicopter move away.
Jet will wake up and gloss over the fact that our sex took on something tender and meaningful. Ignore that I came by penetration alone, driven by eye contact and a connection that stole the air from my lungs.
Things will go back to whatever they were before. The way it’s supposed to be.
I lift his hand, easing myself from under his arm. I shuffle to the edge of the bed, ready to slip out and back to my own room.
“Stop.”
His husky voice makes me freeze.
“Ava?”
The edge in his tone sends my heart racing.
He pulls me back against him and rolls me beneath him, making my breath hitch.
“You need more convincing, don’t you?” he asks softly, positioning himself between my thighs.
One hand encases my cheek as the other lifts my hip, placing my body where he wants it.
“You think I’m going to leave?” He lifts his chin as my thighs widen around his hips on instinct, inviting him closer. “You think you have to be scared of being alone?”
He looks into my eyes so deeply that I have to blink back the sting prickling at their corners.
“I’m here, Ava,” he breathes, when I shake my head.
“I…” My lower lip shakes as he presses soft kisses along my jaw.
“I’m here,” he rasps against my neck, sending goosebumps racing over my flesh. “You’re not alone.”
A whimper escapes my throat.
“I’m here,” he whispers. “You’re safe.”