30. Ava
Chapter 30
Ava
He walks into the marble lobby like nothing’s wrong.
Like he didn’t rip open the scar I’ve worn for the past ten years. The scar he helped to heal when he showed me the broken parts of himself in Thailand.
I trusted him. I told him things I’ve never told anyone.
I was so stupid.
He doesn’t see me sitting inside one of The Songbird’s bars, nursing the same glass of wine I’ve had for the past hour.
But I see him.
Everyone sees him.
People’s heads turn, following him as he moves fluidly in his immaculate suit and Italian leather shoes. He commands attention effortlessly, exuding the grace and confidence of a man who has it all. And what he doesn’t have, he gets.
“I always win, Ava. ”
I swallow down bile in my throat as a woman drops a book she’s carrying as Jet approaches. He stops, picking it up and handing it to her. She gushes, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she tries and fails to draw him into conversation. She turns and watches him walk away, eyes drinking him in without shame.
I get it. I was falling for it too. The dark-haired, blue-eyed billionaire pilot who wears a suit like he was born in it. He couldn’t look any better. But now I know it’s all an act. A shiny fa?ade to the self-preserving bastard beneath.
I shove my phone into my purse before slinging it over my shoulder.
“I need to check out early.” Jet’s deep baritone carries from where he’s standing in his charcoal suit at the desk.
“Oh? Was everything to your satisfaction, Mr. Grant?” the male staff member asks.
“Everything was fine. But I need to get back to LA.”
“Of course. I’ll arrange someone to collect your luggage and bring it down for you.”
“That’s not necessary, I can manage.”
They finish talking and he turns.
Piercing blue eyes, rimmed with red and shadowed by dark circles, meet mine with an intensity that makes me falter. Makes me question everything. Maybe I’ve got it wrong. He wouldn’t do this to me. It’s a mistake.
Tell me it’s a mistake, Jet.
“Ava? ”
That one word breathed out in his deep voice threatens to dissolve every barrier I’ve been putting up on the flight over here. Barriers to keep him out. To protect myself from further hurt, even if the catastrophic damage is already done.
“You’re here.” His eyes drop over my body like he’s checking if I’m real. “When did you arrive?”
“My plane landed two hours ago.”
His dark brows lift. “You flew here? Alone?”
“I don’t need you to get on a plane anymore.”
His face closes off, the hint of what I swear was admiration in his eyes, dying in a flash.
“You didn’t need me the first time, either. You’re strong all by yourself.”
My heart squeezes as he places his hand on my lower back.
“Don’t touch me,” I hiss, before noticing the people behind me that I’m blocking from getting to the desk. Jet steers me to one side, positioning us in a quiet area against the wall. Then he removes his hand from me immediately.
“Ava, I’m—”
“If you tell me you’re sorry, I swear to god, I’ll kill you right here. Your apologies mean shit.” My voice cracks, betraying my emotion.
It’s written all over my face how much he’s hurt me. I saw it in the airplane bathroom mirror before we landed. And again in the restrooms here while I’ve been waiting for him to appear.
It’s obvious to the world .
Jet Grant has crashed into me, breaking everything I’ve spent years trying to fix.
“I don’t care what your reasons were. I don’t care if it was the last option you had. It wasn’t yours to give.”
“Ava.” He steps closer, lowering his voice.
I take a step back. “Why?”
“It’s just business,” he replies, simply.
“Business?” I choke.
“The airline is everything to me. It’s my future, it’s all my employees’ future. I chose them. I had to.”
“You stole my story. It took me ten years to be able to write that, to be able to even think about it. And you took it after knowing me for two months. Like it belonged to you. Like you had the right. You didn’t.”
I drag in a splintered breath. I thought I needed to see him face to face. To confront him. To make him look me in the eyes as I ask him why he did it. But staring into the same light irises that have held mine so many times as I’ve poured out my heart to him, handed him myself, physically and mentally, over and over again, hurts so much that I’m scared I’ll disappear with the pain. Implode silently.
Surrounded by people this time. But still alone.
“You forged my signature on those papers,” I continue through a choked breath. “I was stupid. I didn’t even read them. I’ve been so caught up being in LA with Mum. I’ve not felt happiness like this in years. I trusted you. I never… I never even read them…”
He’s silent, watching me as I rub at my burning chest .
“I confided in you. I… We’ve been sleeping together for weeks,” I hiss.
“Twenty-nine days.”
“What?”
“It’s been twenty-nine days since we…” His brows pinch. “This is the happiest you’ve been in years?”
I fold my arms, turning away with a tight nod. “The happiest since…” I can’t finish the sentence.
“You were happy?” he repeats my words, inclining his head to make me meet his eyes again. They bore into mine, making my breath hitch.
“I was . I had everything I ever dreamed of. Being here with Mum. Traveling. Seeing the world. Then you ruined it, you selfish bastard. How could you?”
He runs his tongue over the edge of his perfect teeth, taking his time to study me, ignoring the curious glances we’re attracting from passing guests.
“I never told you I was a good guy, Ava.” Something passes over his face that I can’t read.
Then again, even when I’ve thought I can read him, I can’t.
I have no idea who he is. Not really.
“No, you didn’t. And now you’ve proved it. What was it I signed, huh? A contract? Rights for my story to be made into a fucking movie? Ophelia said—”
Jet’s nostrils flare. “You said you were ready. You said—”
“You mean when we were in the middle of fucking?” I screech, drawing more attention to us. “When you thought it was a good idea to tell me I was too scared, and that I should just do it. Was it then, huh?”
“I’ve apologized for that, I’ve—”
“All I’m hearing is you.” I push him, but his solid body doesn’t budge. “What you want. What you need. It was never your call to make. How long have you known she’s a producer?”
His jaw tightens.
“How long?”
He clears his throat. “I’ve always known what Ophelia Callaghan does.”
“Always…” The air rushes from my lungs. “Did you know this whole time who I was? The crash, the…” I swallow, my throat burning. “Did you know what the papers used to call me?” When he stays silent, it confirms my suspicions. “Oh my god. You told me you knew me better than I think. You knew who I was this whole time, didn’t you? Did you plan this from the beginning? Was the whole me working with you just for fun? Something you’d laugh about when you went to bed at night?”
“Ava,” he growls.
“Was the sex to gain my trust? Or an added bonus? A way to get your dick wet?”
“Stop,” he snaps, stepping closer and towering over me. “Is that what you want it to be? Would it make it easier to hate me if I told you it was only sex?”
“It doesn’t matter now. Either way you’re a bastard that your friends and family should be ashamed of. All of them,” I say cruelly, my chest heaving. It’s a low blow, hinting that his mum would be ashamed, too. But it’s the truth. My father would be if I’d done what Jet has.
He lowers his mouth to my ear. “In that case, if it was just sex, at least it was hot, dirty as fuck sex with you, Ava. Maybe it’s worth everyone hating me for the memories I’ve got.”
I shove him away.
“You’re disgusting.”
“Then you’ll not miss me, will you?”
“Not for one second.”
A coarse sound comes from the back of his throat before he squashes it and breaks eye contact with me for the first time since he saw me.
“Was any of it real?”
I hate myself the minute the words leave my mouth. For the hope inside them. For the power I’m handing over to him. But he’s already taken everything. I’ve nothing left to lose.
“Did it feel real?” He brings his eyes back to mine. His expression doesn’t soften. It stays the same, blue eyes penetrating my soul, reaching deep inside me, and taking what they want without asking permission.
Being Jet Grant.
“I thought it did,” I breathe. “I thought a lot of things.”
“Then it was real, Ava.”
He moves closer, his hand reaching up and brushing my hair away from my cheek. His eyes still don’t soften. But his jaw loosens as he runs his thumb over my wet cheek. The urge to lean into his palm overwhelms me, and I’m left frozen in place as I fight it.
“It was never meant to be like this. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Liar.”
His eyes pinch at the corners as he drops his hand from my cheek.
“If you’d never wanted to hurt me, you wouldn’t have played me. You’ve had one goal since we met. And it was for you to win. To hell with anyone else.”
His eyes rake over my face like it’s the last time he’ll see it.
“Are you going to tell Ophelia?”
My heart falls to my feet and I stare at him as my chest burns in the hole it’s left behind.
“That’s all you care about? That your deal with Callaghan isn’t ruined?”
His jaw ticks as he watches me. It takes everything I have in me to steady my voice.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
It was one of my first thoughts. That I could retract the signed rights, prove it’s not my signature. But I’d planned on possibly doing this one day. It’s why I was writing it. My therapy. Time for me to finally take back the control that was stripped from me ten years ago.
But Jet took that control away.
It should have been me deciding when I was ready to share it. Not him. No one else but me. I’ll never forgive him for that. Even if the outcome is the same, the route to get there was never his to navigate. It was mine.
He took away my control, so that he could keep his.
“Please don’t,” he rasps.
Air rushes into my lungs, the shot of oxygen making my head clearer. He’s right. I need it to be easy to hate him. I need to take every feeling I ever had for him and turn them into hate.
It’s the only way I’ll survive again.
I need to take back control.
“Say it.” I breathe in his scent without meaning to, then swallow down the pang of warmth it evokes in my memory. I don’t want to remember anymore. I want to forget it all. Forget I ever met him.
“I need to hear you say it.”
Deep lines appear along his brow as he reaches for me, sliding his hand around my ribs. The contact makes me shudder and I shove his hand away.
“Say it,” I snap. “Admit what you did.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No,” I sob as my eyes burn. “Don’t fucking do that. I’ve forgiven you too many times for the shit you’ve pulled. There isn’t any coming back this time. Just admit what you did. And then I’m going to walk out of here. And I never want to see you again. I never want to hear your name again. You understand? If you pass me in the street, keep walking. Don’t look at me. Because I won’t even notice you.”
His Adam’s apple rises in his throat as he swallows, then his eyes darken as he holds mine, unblinking .
“Say it,” I urge in a hoarse whisper. “Don’t make me beg. After all you’ve done, don’t make me—”
“I took your story, Ava.”
A strangled sound escapes my lips.
“I did it to save the airline. And, Firefly…” His whole body stiffens when I flinch at his nickname for me. “I am sorry. Because if I had to, I’d do it again.”
I spin, unable to look at him anymore.
My vision blurs as I rush away and his final words follow me.
“I’d make the same choice every goddamn time, Ava.”