33. Ava
Chapter 33
Ava
“The location team have found the perfect place. We’ll be ready to finalize castings as soon as you give the go-ahead.”
Mum nods enthusiastically, hanging on to Ophelia’s every word.
“That’s wonderful news, isn’t it, darling?” She squeezes my knee beneath the table as I lift my glass of water and take a sip.
“It is,” I agree.
“Have you thought more about who you’d like to play your mum?” Ophelia asks as she walks over to a sideboard in her office, bringing back a fresh bottle of water and topping up my glass.
It’s the last part we need to cast. I should feel grateful that Jet at least insisted the contract stipulated I had final say in everything. I’ve been able to sign off on all decisions .
I could even cancel the entire thing if I wanted to and walk away.
But I haven’t.
“Um.” I shake my head.
None of the actresses seemed right. I thought casting the actor to play Dad would be hardest, but actually, it was easy. I know that’s not him on the screen. And the guy playing the part seems lovely. He’s been really sensitive when we’ve met.
“What do you think?” I look at Mum.
She purses her lips. “I… could play the role myself.”
“Really?”
Her brow pinches. “Mitch suggested it, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel—”
“Yes!” I sit straighter in my seat as I look at Ophelia. “Can she do that?”
Ophelia leans back in her chair, her hands steepled over her chest before she opens them, holding out her palms. “If that’s what you want?”
Warmth fills my chest. She’s been so accommodating. She’s told me how much faith she has in this movie being a huge success. I think she’d agree to almost anything to make sure it goes ahead.
The warmth in my chest drops to my gut, turning into an uncomfortable burn instead.
James Callaghan knew how much this meant to his wife that she be the one to produce it. Something Jet must have known, too, when he decided to use my story as his bargaining tool .
I’ve not heard from him since the runway show two days ago. He’s probably too busy with Fran or planning who he’s going to betray next.
I look back at Mum, forcing him from my thoughts. Her eyes are bright with excitement.
“Do you want to?”
“Yes,” she answers in a rush. “I mean, think how wonderful it will be. We’ll be working together. We’ll be on set every day, spend more time together.”
I return her smile. We’ll be doing something together, really together.
“Let’s do it.” I turn to Ophelia. “Let’s start filming.”
“You sound more like yourself today,” Liv says, looking up from where she’s painting her nails.
“I feel better. We’re going to start filming in a week.” I rest my chin on the back of my hands as I lie on my front on the bed, watching her on my laptop screen.
“Nothing more from Jet?”
“No, and I hope it stays that way.” I ignore the tension radiating through my chest at his name.
“I can’t believe he started dating her after all you two did together.”
“Don’t.” I swallow down the taste of bile. “I don’t want to think about the things we did.”
“Sorry.” She gives me a small smile.
The rage inside me takes over when I think about it. When I think that I told him things no one else knew. That I trusted him with my heart and my body. I’ve never let another man come inside me before. Yet I let Jet do that the first time, handing everything over to him so willingly. I even begged him for more, greedily taking it all, thinking that even if it was just sex, we at least respected each other.
I’ve never told a soul what he said to me about being scared to love someone. I’ve kept the things that scare him close to me. Protected them. Kept him safe.
He’s shared mine with the world for his own gain.
“David’s a lucky guy,” I say.
Liv’s face lights up. “You know he brought me a plant on our last date? Not flowers like a normal guy… A plant.”
“Uh-huh.” I smile as a dopey grin spreads over my best friend’s face.
“It’s because he’s a landscaper. He likes helping things grow rather than cutting them off when they’re at their most beautiful.”
“That’s almost poetic.”
Liv scrunches her nose up. “What the hell’s happening to me?”
“I think you like him.” I laugh .
“I think I do, too,” she groans like it’s the last thing she wants. “Which sucks, because once I graduate, I don’t want to be held back. I don’t know what I want to do yet, but I want to be free to do it, you know? I mean, look at you! You’re living in LA, making movies, and going to parties with celebrities.”
“You can still do all those things.”
She snorts. “We’ll see. It’s not easy, though. You’ve not been home in almost two months, you’re so busy over there.”
I let out a deep sigh. “I know. And I really miss you and Gramps. I’ll come back for a visit as soon as I can.”
“It’s fine.” She matches my sigh with a soft smile. “If you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Maybe I can come to you? I can pick up William and we’ll fly over together. When was the last time he had a vacation?”
“He—” I frown as I wrack my brain. “We went away to Cornwall before I left for university.”
“Caravan sites are not vacations.” Liv scoffs.
“The site had a pool,” I argue.
“If you say so.” She rolls her eyes. “Listen, Bitch. I love you, but I have to go. David will be here in ten minutes.”
“I love you, too. Have fun.” I blow her a kiss and hang up.
I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. When did Gramps last go on a proper vacation? I don’t think he’s been on a plane since we lost Dad.
He was always there for me when I needed him .
Guilt pulls low in my stomach. I bring up his number and press call. We’ve spoken every day, sometimes twice since I went to stay with Magnus. But I haven’t seen him in almost two months. I haven’t hugged him.
His phone rings out, so I leave a message and hang up. It beeps as soon as I’m done. My heart plummets as I click into the text message.
Jet: You looked beautiful at the show.
I rub at my eyes. Why can’t he leave me alone? Hasn’t he done enough?
Me: I’m going to block you.
Jet: You should.
My finger hovers over the screen but I can’t bring myself to actually do it.
Jet: Why aren’t you happy?
Me: Why are you texting me? You have a girlfriend to listen to your shit now.
It’s petty, but Liv’s right. He picked up with Francesca pretty fast after we ended. You don’t move on that fast.
Jet: She’s not my girlfriend.
I snort as he sends another message.
Jet: It’s good publicity now the deal with Callaghan has been announced. Fran and I are putting on a united front for appearance, the same as we have in the past when it’s warranted it. That’s all. It stops investors thinking they need to worry if we all appear to be getting along.
I read his message over and over. It could be the truth. I can’t tell with him anymore.
Jet: Ava, please. Tell me why you aren’t happy.
Me: Why the hell do you think? You betrayed me.
Jet: You wanted to make that movie. Maybe you needed a push to do it.
I scream, my grip on the phone tightening.
Me: Wasn’t your job to push, Asshole!
Jet: Cancel it.
Me: What?
Jet: If it’s the one thing stopping you from being happy, cancel it.
Me: I never said it was the one thing.
Jet: Then what is ?
I choke back a sob. He knows me. Even after everything, the bastard still knows me better than I know myself. Just like he always told me he did. Because he’s right, I’m not happy. I don’t know why. I have everything I wanted.
I should be happy. But I don’t feel it.
Me: You want me to cancel it? Make your deal evaporate. Make you lose the airline?
Three dots bounce up as Jet types. Then they stop. Then start again.
I drag in a splintered breath and scrub at my eyes.
I type back before he does.
Me: Stop playing games with me, Asshole.
Then I block his number.