Chapter 13 #2
“At the door?”
“Yes, with it open and me on the porch.”
“Why?”
She wasn’t asking why I was going to kiss her. She was asking about the location.
“It’s the safest place. Me on your porch means I can’t tear your clothes off. Which is exactly what I’m gonna want to do.”
I watched her tremble and I wished like fuck she was in my arms so I could’ve felt it. But more, I wished we were in a place where I could do something about it.
But we weren’t.
“C’mon, Rae, let’s sit. I want to hear about your friend and I want you comfortable and close when you tell me about your friend.”
“Best friend,” she immediately corrected as she made her way to the couch.
I waited for her to sit before I shoved some pillows out of the way and followed her down.
“Okay, baby, tell me about your best friend.”
“Sister. Zoe was my sister. She was there with me when I had Lucas. She cut the cord. She was the first person to hold him after I did, even before Mom. But Mom didn’t care because she was all about me and making sure I was okay.
Then she lived with us, and helped me with diapers and middle of the night feedings and baths.
I was so scared I’d break him, but not Zoe.
She was a natural. She couldn’t wait to have kids.
Zoe was everything. Sweet, smart, kind, quiet, the life of the party, loud, fun…
just everything wrapped up into one beautiful ball of energy. Then she met Julian.”
Again with the spitting out of his name.
Fuck. I didn’t like where this was headed and not only because I knew she was dead.
“No, that’s not right. At first, I loved him for her.
He let her be her. He has a great job, makes a lot of money, but didn’t expect her to quit her job and be a trophy wife.
But he did want her to stay home with any kids they had.
And she wanted that, too. So they agreed to wait.
Zoe was goal-oriented; there were things in her career she wanted to accomplish before she started having babies.
She never got to have her babies,” she told me on a whisper.
“Part of me is happy because if she did, they’d be with him.
But another part of me is so fucking sad she never got to be a mom and now that she’s gone, I don’t have any pieces of her. ”
When she paused, I told her, “I get that, Rae. But you do have pieces of her. You have all the pieces she left you with. All the memories. All the time she gave you. Those are yours, honey, and they always will be.”
Her lips were trembling when she said, “Yeah. She gave me a lot. She gave Lucas a lot. He loves her so much and it kills she won’t be around to watch him grow up, but it hurts worse that he won’t have her. She was his other parent.”
That was twice now she’d mentioned Zoe helping her raise Lucas. Which begged the question, where the fuck was his father when Rainy was delivering her son? As badly as I wanted to know, now was not the time to ask.
“Zoe and Julian were engaged within four months. Five months after that, they were married. My sister was happy, beaming, every day loving life, loving Julian, loving me and Lucas. Nothing had changed. Then slowly, after their one-year wedding anniversary, Julian’s mask started to slip.
It was like suddenly he could no longer keep the inner dickhead at bay.
And it started small. Him commenting on what she was wearing when they went out.
Then it was what she ate. Then it was how much time she spent with me.
Of course he had all the excuses. He wanted her to wear only the best. He wanted her healthy because they were going to have a family.
He loved her so much he wanted more of her attention, and she should want that, too, because she was his wife. ”
Again, fuck.
I knew where this was headed because this was how it always started with abusive assholes. The control started small—so small, they could slip it in, and most of it would go unnoticed.
“My girl, she loved me, she loved Lucas, so they fought about me, about the time we spent together.” Rainy paused and dropped her eyes to her clasped hands in her lap.
“Then he switched tactics. Through her, he started inviting me and Lucas over. Zoe was so happy. She thought she’d gotten through to him and made him understand how important we were to her.
But she didn’t see it, the looks he’d give me.
She didn’t hear the comments he’d make because he was careful to make sure she wouldn’t. ”
“Did he threaten you?” I practically growled.
Rainy’s head came up and she shook her head.
“He hit on me, but did it in such a way that if I told Zoe about it I’d sound like I was making a big deal out of nothing.
I think that’s what he wanted. He wanted me to tell Zoe so he could turn it around and say I was trying to cause problems between them. But I didn’t bite.”
“What kind of comments?”
“Stupid stuff like, he liked my jeans and they made my ass look good. He hoped after Zoe had a baby she’d get a body like mine. Cringy comments about my boobs looking good in whatever shirt I was wearing.”
“What the fuck?”
“Then when I had no reaction and didn’t tell his wife he was a piece-of-shit creep, he stepped up his game.
He asked if I wanted to be his plus-one at some business dinner that Zoe couldn’t attend, because having a beautiful woman on your arm is good for business.
Of course I declined. So he got more aggressive and told me I owed him, since I took up so much of his wife’s attention. ”
I didn’t need to look at the table to know this asshole’s flowers were sitting there. Though, they wouldn’t be sitting there long since I was taking them with me.
“Owed him what?”
“He never said. But whatever he thought I owed him he was already getting for someone else. A few weeks before Zoe died, a woman showed up at her work, asked if they could speak privately, then showed Zoe text messages and pictures. The woman said she had no idea that Julian was married when she started seeing him. But one time when they were out, she saw Julian’s phone screen when Zoe had called.
That with him not returning calls for hours and texts being left unread with lame excuses, him only being available for a few hours here and there after work and never on weekends, she put it together. ”
I reached over and tagged Rainy’s hand. No hesitation—she curled her fingers around my hand, which was good because I needed to hold her hand when I asked, “How’d she die?”
“Car accident.”
That was not how I thought she was going to tell me her best friend died.
So bad fucking luck.
“I’m sorry, baby, that’s rough.”
She nodded and looked down at our hands. I gave her time to gather her thoughts before I asked, “What’s—”
While at the same time Rainy said softly, “I know you’ll think I’m crazy.”
“Why would I think that?”
“Because I think he killed her.”
Well, fuck.
A cellphone alarm blared.
Rainy jumped.
And before I could stop her, she was off the couch dashing back down the hall while shouting, “Crap! I’m late for school pick up!”
I glanced down at my watch. She wasn’t late. But she would be stuck in the pickup line since by now cars would already be lining up.
The alarm stopped, and she reappeared with her cell in one hand and the strap of her purse in the other.
“Sorry. So sorry. I have to go,” she said as she dropped her phone in her bag.
I met her at the front door, then without delay we were both on the porch. I waited for her to lock up and as I reached for her hand, she turned fully to face me and tipped her head back.
“Okay. You can kiss me now.”
Damn, she was cute.
“No, Rae. No way in fuck am I gonna kiss you for the first time since I was twenty and have that kissed be rushed.”
Her lips turned down into a frown. Which instantly had me changing my mind.
I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers and kept them there when I said, “Drive safe, baby.”
When I pulled back, she was no longer frowning.
She was smiling.
“Tease.”
I returned her smile and walked her to her car.
Rainy Cross had no idea what was coming.
I’d give her a week of slow.
One week to get to know each other again.
After that, all bets were off and I’d stop at nothing to get back what I’d lost.