Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Oh my God,” I breathed as my neck arched back into Jase’s pillow.
It was Saturday and Jase wasted no time, pulling me into his house as soon as I’d knocked on the door, then he’d dragged me up the stairs.
Once there, he slowed down but only minutely.
And only so he could kiss me.
From there I lost track of time.
No, there was no time—it didn’t exist.
All there was was me and Jase, our hands and mouths.
At some point, my hands on him became desperate, his ridded me of my clothes, then his came off, and before I knew it, I was on his bed, and he was kissing me some more.
All over. Lips, neck, breasts, belly, and by the time his mouth went between my legs I was so primed all it had taken was a swipe of his tongue over my clit and I was ready to explode.
“Jason,” I groaned. My neck still at an unnatural angle, but I couldn’t concentrate on righting it while my thighs were shaking and his mouth was working magic.
Depraved magic.
“Not yet, Rainy,” he growled against my sensitive flesh.
His hands went to my ass, the pads of his fingers dug into my flesh, and he buried his face deeper between my legs.
I gave it my best, but I couldn’t hold off my orgasm.
“Jase,” I panted as I took in a fluttering breath.
Suddenly, I lost his mouth, but not for long.
His hips fell through my open legs, one hand planted onto the mattress beside my head, his other arm hooked around the back of my thigh, and his mouth hit mine.
But it wasn’t his mouth that had my back coming off the bed. With one hard thrust, he was inside me.
Jason Turner.
The only boy I ever loved who had turned into the only man who I would ever love.
This could turn to shit.
He could tell me tomorrow he’d changed his mind.
And I would still only ever love him.
He was it for me.
And finally, I had him back.
All of him.
I groaned into his mouth.
He growled into mine.
Delicious.
It was then I realized Jase wasn’t moving.
I whimpered and lifted my hips.
I felt him smile against my lips right before he lifted his head and shifted to an elbow so he could cup my cheek.
“Jumped the gun, baby, didn’t ask. I also didn’t put on a condom.”
Oh.
That’s why he wasn’t moving.
“I’m on the Pill.”
“Yeah? Does that mean you’re good with me going bare?”
Obviously, I knew condoms weren’t only used to prevent pregnancy, and they weren’t even one-hundred percent effective preventing that—hello, Lucas—but Jase would never put me at risk. Not any kind of risk—not ever. So, I wasn’t worried.
“Yeah.”
His brown eyes flared.
He liked that I trusted him.
“Kiss me, honey,” I demanded.
That eye flare turned heated.
I was in the middle of committing that look to memory when he leaned down and kissed me. I tried my best to keep up. But I lost concentration when pulled his hips back and slammed back in. By his third stroke, I felt my womb contract.
By the fifth I was struggling to breathe. Jase must’ve felt it because he ended our kiss, and asked, “Harder?”
“Yes.”
He unhooked his arm from around my leg, shifted his weight, and drove in deeper.
“Christ,” Jase growled.
I felt the clench and closed my eyes as my orgasm started to take me under.
“Eyes open.”
I gave Jase my eyes, but I was so far gone my vision was hazy.
“Jesus, you’re beautiful.”
Once again, time got away from me.
His powerful drives, his grunts, the feel of his body moving over me.
“Nothing feels as good as you,” I whispered.
“Christ,” he snarled and drove in harder.
I slid one arm behind me and pressed my palm against the wall to steady myself. Jase found my other hand, laced his fingers with mine, and pinned my hand to the pillow.
“Gonna fuck you all day, Rainy.”
I didn’t think that required a response, which was good because I couldn’t formulate one.
But I could whimper, which was what I did.
“All day, baby. I want the taste of you on my tongue, my come in you, on you, down your throat.”
It would seem sometime in the last sixteen years my first love, high school sweetheart, had developed a dirty mouth. And with that I learned something about myself, too. I totally got off on it.
I untangled my legs from his, threw them around his back, and locked my ankles so I could lift my hips.
“You wanna come again, Rainy?”
“Yes.”
“Are you gonna let me play with your pussy while you suck me off?”
“Yes.”
“Are you gonna let me spread your legs and bury my face in your pussy and eat you until you’re screaming my name?
“Yes,” I wheezed, the force of his thrusts so powerful it was hard to breathe.
“You ready to come again for me?”
I didn’t answer because I couldn’t. My pussy pulsed while my body trembled. This time my climax didn’t pull me under, this one tore me apart.
“Jason,” I moaned.
“Yeah, baby, I feel you,” he grunted.
His fingers laced with mine tightened, his drives became rough, the noises he made desperate, and finally he planted himself to the root, and buried his face in my neck and groaned his orgasm into my skin.
That felt amazing.
No, beautiful.
Jason groaning his pleasure against my neck, feeling his big body pressed against mine, trembling.
I did not get to see much of his body before he’d tossed me on the bed. But I didn’t have to see it to feel the difference. Jase had filled out, packed on more muscle. He was no longer the lean twenty-year-old.
Though, I was no longer nineteen. I’d had a child. My body had significantly changed.
“Whatever it is you’re thinking about, stop,” Jase ordered.
This was one of those times when him being able to read me was annoying.
I tried to relax but now that I was thinking. My mind wouldn’t turn off.
Jase lifted his head and stared down at me.
“Here’s what’s gonna happen,” he started.
“Whatever’s going on in your head, you’re gonna pause it.
You’re gonna give us this. This moment, what we just shared, what you gave me, our connection.
” To punctuate what he meant, he shifted his hips.
“After that, I’ll clean you up, then we’ll talk about whatever’s fucking with your head.
When we’re done talking, I’m gonna eat your pussy.
I wanted to feel you come around my dick the first time, so I only got a taste.
After that, we’ll talk some more. That work for you? ”
I couldn’t remember what I was thinking about before Jase laid it out, because now that he’d mentioned it, I really wanted to feel his mouth between my legs again.
I saw his expression change and his eyes heat.
“I love when you look at me like that,” I whispered.
“How am I looking at you?”
“Like you can’t get enough of me.”
Jase smiled. It was wicked and full of my promise.
“It’s good you can read me.”
My hand came up to trace the line of his jaw.
“When did you start to get gray in your beard?” His smile turned into a frown.
I rolled my eyes and went on, “Please, like you don’t know the silver’s hot.
Women swoon over silver foxes. Not that you’re there yet, but one day you will be and I’ll have to beat back the hordes of women who hit on you. ”
He gave me an amused look and answered, “Last year.”
Damn, I’d missed it by one year.
I continued to study his face.
“I can’t believe this is real,” I told him softly.
“Believe it.”
“I love you, Jason Turner.”
“I love you, Rainy Cross.”
We lay there in comfortable silence, just taking each other in, enjoying the moment.
The stillness of it.
Just us.
Jase and Rainy.
Jase broke it by kissing me.
This one wasn’t frenzied and out of control.
It was slow and gentle.
When he was done. He pulled out and rolled to the side, taking me with him. I did my part and shifted closer until my cheek was resting on his chest and my arm was around his middle.
I hadn’t forgotten that Jase liked to cuddle—I’d savagely wrestled it from my mind and buried it as deep as I could so I wouldn’t remember how much I loved when he held me.
“What do you want to talk about first?” he asked.
I didn’t want to talk.
I didn’t want anything encroaching.
But there was one thing he’d mentioned the other night during one of our epic get-to-know-you-again calls.
“You still doing okay with getting pulled from Miss Monroe’s case?”
“Sucks but it’s the right call. I can’t investigate anything remotely close to my shooting.”
My eyes immediately dropped to his shoulder. The stitches were gone but there was still an angry, red, puckered scar.
“Your shoulder?”
“Fine. I told you, I don’t even need PT.”
He had told me that on Tuesday after his doctor’s appointment.
“Are you really okay with all of us getting together for dinner like Shay suggested?”
I was shocked when Jase told me he’d talked to Shay about me, and she was not only cool about it but told him she wanted to schedule a family dinner.
I thought that said a lot about her and her willingness to create something meaningful for her kids.
I will admit at first I wasn’t all fired up about going to dinner with the woman who had cheated on my man.
I would’ve done it for the kids and I would’ve been gracious, but it would’ve been under silent protest. Then he told me she’d admitted she was a shit wife and acknowledged her cheating on him was a shit thing to do.
I didn’t think that absolved her, but I thought it took courage to admit you screwed up and to take ownership.
Which meant I wouldn’t be attending dinner under silent protest. I would go knowing Shay wanted her kids to have a big family, even if it was non-traditional.
“As long as you’re okay with it and you think Lucas will be okay, then we’ll do it,” he grumbled.
He was such a good dad.
His hand shifted down my back and he trailed his fingers over the swell of my ass.
I settled in deeper and sighed.
Jase read my sigh, and asked, “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
He waited awhile before he queried, “Are we done talking?”
“Uh-uh,” I mumbled, happy to just laze here in the silence with Jase.
“Good. Roll off, baby, so I can clean you up. I want to eat you, and I prefer doing that tasting you and not me.”
I rolled off him, vaguely wondering if that was a man thing or a Jase thing.
The sum of my sexual experience was Jase and Mark.
Actually, the vast majority of experience was with Jase. And after I got on birth control and did away with condoms, he never went down on me after we’d had sex, unless he cleaned himself away.
And since I was me and the question had popped into my head, it made its way out of my mouth. “Is that a guy thing? Or do you just not like it?”
“Is what a guy thing?”
“The not tasting yourself.”
He was up on his elbow looking down at me with a smile.
“No clue.”
“Does it taste bad?” Ohmigod. “Never mind. Don’t—”
“Only you can answer that. I’ve never tasted my come.”
“Forget I asked.”
Jase brushed my hair away from my face and shook his head. “Don’t hide from me. Especially here in our bed. Ask whatever you want. Tell me what you like and want and absolutely tell me what you don’t like and don’t want.”
This was a familiar refrain. He’d told me something similar when we’d started exploring sexually. He was always careful. Always asked what I liked. Not in a weird, feed-my-ego way. He genuinely wanted to know what made me feel good.
“I know, Jase. You always take care of me.”
He nodded but didn’t move.
“Why’d you ask?”
“I was curious.”
He studied me longer this time.
“That’s the only reason,” he pushed.
“Yeah.”
I didn’t understand what was happening or why he was looking at me like he was trying to figure out if I was telling the truth.
“I was just curious, Jason. I’m not lying—”
“Didn’t think you were.”
“Then why are you looking at me like that?”
He softened his expression, which was good, but I was already getting ticked so it did nothing to calm my irritation.
“I’m trying to figure out if I want to talk about this while I have you naked in my bed after I fucked you and I’m getting ready to do that again, or if I should wait until we’re dressed and having lunch.”
“Talk to me about what?”
“Mark.”
Ugh. I’d already told him all about Mark. Including that he’d happily signed away his parental rights and had never tried to renege on his agreement. So Mark would never be a problem for Lucas or me, which now translated into him never being a problem for Jase.
“What about him?”
I knew that look. He was taking his time, choosing his words carefully.
“Just spit it out, Jase.”
“I was rough with you.”
“And?”
He clenched his jaw and his voice was tight when he noted, “You said you haven’t had a man since him.”
“Nope. I was knocked up. Then recovering after having Lucas. Then trying to figure out how to be a mom. Then I was busy working while being a single mom. When Lucas got older, I went out on a few dates, but I found dating sucked and I was busy and had Lucas, so I stopped dating. I’ll preface my question by saying I don’t mind telling you, but why are you asking me about Mark now? ”
Another jaw clench.
“Because I was rough with you and you haven’t had a man since him and I need to understand where you’re at and how far I can take you.”
Right. He was worried about hurting me.
“You can take me anywhere you want.”
“Rainy—”
“I don’t know what you want me to tell you.
Or how to convince you, can do anything you want to me.
If you want the details, there aren’t many.
He was pretty much not good in bed. He didn’t like oral sex—that’s to say he didn’t like giving it.
I’m sure he wouldn’t’ve minded receiving it but fair is fair—if he wasn’t going to do it neither was I.
So, in that department, it’s only been you.
I might need a refresher course. You were a good teacher the first go-around, so I’m pretty confident you’ll be a better one the second time around.
Yes, you were rough. No, you didn’t hurt me.
Yes, I liked it. And while we’re on the topic, Mr. Dirty Mouth, I liked that, too.
Now, do you have any more questions or are you going to clean me so you can make good on your promise? ”
That fiendish smile was back.
“Mr. Dirty Mouth?” He chuckled.
“Honey, you’ve got a filthy mouth when you’re inside of me.”
“Change of plans.”
I didn’t want to change our plans. I liked the plan he’d laid out.
Jase shifted down the bed. His hand went to my hip, then slid down between my legs.
Okay, I was liking where this new plan was going. Especially when he bent and swirled his tongue around my nipple.
“We’re gonna see how quickly I can get you off playing with your tits and fucking you with my fingers.”
Then he set about seeing how fast he could get me off using his fingers to toy between my legs and his tongue working my nipple.
The answer was really freaking quickly.