Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
LOUISA
It's a Saturday morning, and I have nothing to do. B is out of town for a work trip and will be gone for a week. I went to college in a different state, and most of my college friends stayed there while I moved back to my home state to be closer to family. And working from home isn't very conducive to meeting new people. So when B is gone, it’s pretty much just Pepin and I.
I usually do lots of reading, study for my licensure exams, and take Pepin on walks. He loves walks and insists on at least one a day. I'm not exactly sure how that's going to work in the winter, but that's a problem I'll figure out later.
I open the dating app and start mindlessly scrolling. So far, nothing good has come out of it. A few messages here and there, but I easily get the ick, so they tend to not go anywhere.
Zach: Ew, another guy holding a dead fish. Left.
Seth: Confederate flag hat, no thank you. Left.
What is this app's problem? Either I've scrolled through all the eligible bachelors in the Twin Cities area, or the algorithm needs some updating.
Brandon: Likes the outdoors, 25 years old, has pretty eyes, full head of hair. Right.
Ethan: Assault rifle in the first picture, seriously, dude? Left.
Kevin: Likes plants, 24 years old, enjoys intramural sports... Mormon. Left.
Sam: Likes dogs, 26 years old, has a picture with a Pride flag, and is a small business owner.
Before swiping right, I linger on his page for a minute. He looks vaguely familiar, but then again, he sort of has that basic, All-American look to him. Brown curly hair, 6'2", and dresses well, but not so well that he'll judge my clothing. I can't tell what color his eyes are; they present differently in every picture. He has one of those kind-looking faces where you know he's nice to his mom. And bonus that none of his photos are a shirtless mirror pic at the gym.
Right.
SAM
Work has started to slow down now that it's fall, so I find myself bored more often. That's how I let my younger brother, Quinn, talk me into signing up for a dating app. I was really hoping I would find someone the organic way, but that hasn't panned out so far. So here I am on a Monday afternoon, scrolling on my phone when I decide to check if there's anyone new is on the dating app.
Quinn pretty much set up my entire profile for me. I made my own at first, but he asked to see it and immediately took charge, changing everything. Literally, everything. Except for my name and age, I guess. The version of me he put on here is accurate; it’s just a more curated version of me.
I swipe left on six women in a row, and I almost swipe past her out of habit, but I stop myself in time. She's stunning. Shoulder length, straight brown hair, gorgeous brown eyes, very naturally pretty. She's an aspiring architect, lives in the city, has a dog. She can't be real. I swipe right before I accidentally mess this up. There's no way we're going to match, though; she is way out of my league. But the screen lights up saying, 'It’s a MATCH.’
"Shut. Up."
My heart races, and I suddenly feel the pressure to say something good. I've never been this nervous to message someone on here. I tap 'Message Louisa Now' and freeze. After twelve different drafts, I finally send one, and it's not even clever.
Sam
Hey Louisa. Is that a standard labradoodle in one of your pictures? He's adorable.
I lock my phone so I stop staring at it, waiting for her to reply. A walk to the kitchen will distract me. I make myself a sandwich and sit on a stool by the island to eat it. I sit there waiting for it to buzz, but it doesn't.
I successfully ignore my phone for the next hour while watching a show. Then it dawns on me that I never turned on notifications for that app. I jolt forward and knock my phone off the coffee table while trying to grab it. I pick it up off the floor, and the screen unlocks to my face. The last thing I had open on the phone was that app, so it's the first thing to pop up. One message notification. I click it and pray that it's her.
Sam
Hey Louisa. Is that a standard labradoodle in one of your pictures? He’s adorable.
Lou
I adopted him, so I don't know for sure, but they think he is a labradoodle. His name is Pepin, and he's 10 years old.
I can't believe she responded.
Sam
How long have you had him?
Lou
I just got him in August.
Sam
What made you adopt an older dog?
Lou
I honestly don't know. He was so sweet when I met him at the shelter, and I just couldn't leave him there. Originally I wanted a younger big dog to take on long walks with me. But surprisingly, Pepin loves to go on walks. Actually insists on it, daily. So it all worked out.
LOUISA
We talked until I fell asleep last night and throughout the day on Tuesday. Mostly just small talk and getting to know the basics. He's so cute and so far checks a lot of boxes—accomplished, kind, and ambitious. Not to mention handsome as hell.
I had to pry it out of him, but I learned that he runs his own landscaping company. I am a very goal-oriented person, so it's important for me to find a partner who has goals.
Partner...look at me jumping ten steps ahead. Why do I always do that? Chill out, Lou; you literally just met the man. For all I know, he could just be another good lay like Matt and nothing more. But something in my gut tells me Sam isn't the "hit it and quit it" type.
I'm running out of basic questions to ask him, and I don't know what to do because I've never gotten this far. Then I remember B has a card game she's obsessed with that asks the players deep questions. I go to the living room, where we store all of our games on a shelf. Scanning through them, I finally spot the little red box.
Lou
Are you up for playing a game?
My sister has a card game that is full of random questions.
Sam
I'd love that. What's it called?
Lou
We're Not Really Strangers.
Sam
That sounds like the perfect game for two people who meet on an app lol.
Lou
Great. So there are three levels and the depth of the questions increase with the level.
I'll start with Level 1.
What does my wallpaper tell you about me ?
I send him a screenshot of my lock screen. It’s an image of Pepin and B on the couch in our apartment
Sam
It tells me that you love your dog, which I already assumed about you.
Is that your sister, B?
Lou
Yes, it is. What gave it away?
The purple hair?
Sam
Haha, yes.
Lou
Without looking, what color are my eyes?
Sam
Caramel brown
Lou
Wow, that was fast!
Sam
It was one of the first things I noticed about you.
Lou
Well, that was the next question, so I guess I'll draw another card.
Do you think I'm usually early, on time, or late to events? Explain.
Sam
Definitely early. I mean this in the best way possible, you give off Type A energy.
Lou
You are not wrong.
Rate your dancing skills on a scale of 1-10. It says we both need to answer this question, so at 10:55, send your answer.
5
Sam
8
Lou
8!? Wow, now I need to see those dance moves.
Sam
Haha, hopefully someday you will. I’m sure you’re better than a 5, you look pretty athletic.
Lou
I guess you’ll have to find out for yourself. But you can’t say I didn’t warn you.
What do you think my go-to car karaoke song is?
Sam
Man, I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain
Lou
That's a great answer. I wish I would have thought of it myself. But, being truthful, my answer is iSpy by KYLE and Lil Yachty.
Lots of great memories associated with that song.
Sam
Now THAT was unexpected.
I like this game!
Lou
Make an assumption about me.
Sam
You sleep with socks on.
Lou
How dare you. I am NOT a psychopath.
Of course I do not sleep with socks on.
Do you?
Sam
I do not.
Lou
Thank god.
Ooo interesting. This card just says, "Reminder: Let go of your attachment to the outcome."
I feel like the universe is out to get me with that one.
Sam
How so?
Lou
As you guessed correctly earlier, I am very Type A. I guess that leads me to put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm very goal-oriented and try to control the outcome of my life as much as I can.
Sam
I think having goals is great. You're obviously a very accomplished person, Lou.
I hope someday you allow yourself to not feel so much pressure.
Lou
Thanks, Sam.
Okay, I'm getting pretty tired but I'll draw one more card.
Do you fall in love easily? Why or why not?
Sam
Yes and no. No, I don't because I know what I want, and I don't want to waste anyone’s time if I don't see a future. But yes, when I know something feels right, I fall hard and fast.
Do you?
I’m shocked by how unashamed he is of being honest and talking about emotions.
Lou
I guess I do. I’ve pretty much been in long-term relationships for most of my teen and young adult life with a small amount of time in between where I was single.
Sam
You say that like it’s a bad thing?
Lou
My sister thinks I need to take more time and enjoy being single.
Sam
She’s not wrong.
But if you find someone who makes you happy, why stop yourself just because of some arbitrary timeline?
Lou
I think it may be the arbitrary timelines that push me towards relationships.
Sam
Care to elaborate?
Lou
Maybe some other time. I’m really tired.
Goodnight, Sam.
Sam
Of course. Night, Lou.
I lock my phone and place it on my nightstand. How does this man have me almost telling him my biggest insecurities? He makes me feel like I can trust him, like he’d understand and wouldn’t judge me.
I roll over and snuggle into Pepin, who has been curled up by my side for the last hour. I pepper him with kisses from his snout to his head. “Goodnight, Pepin. I love you.”
SAM
The next morning, I roll over in bed, and the first thing I do is check my phone to see if Lou has messaged me. I see a message notification on the app, and I get excited. When I open it, I’m met with disappointment because the message isn’t from Lou; it’s from someone named Kirsten, who I don’t even remember matching with.
Kirsten
Hi Sam. You’re so cute, and I was wondering if you wanted to go get coffee sometime?
I click out of my phone and decide I’ll respond to her later. You can’t see if someone has read your message or not on this app, so I don’t have to feel bad about leaving her on read. I always respond to people because I feel guilty if I don’t. I mean, I did swipe right on them, so in theory, I should be interested. But sometimes, I find myself not as into someone as I originally thought. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone’s feelings, but sometimes I message them for too long, and then I’m a jerk because I’m leading them on.
It’s different with Lou, though. I’m excited about her, and I’m worried she’s going to stop talking to me . I need to keep this game going so I can learn more about her, and so she’ll keep talking to me.
I throw on some jeans and a plain black T-shirt, brush my teeth, and throw on a hat since I’m just running down the road to Target. My curls are a little unruly if I don’t wash them and put product in my hair. Growing up, I used to always keep my hair cut short because I didn’t know how to manage my frizzy curls, nor did I care to. Eventually, my younger brother Quinn forced me to grow them out and taught me how to take care of them. He made me buy products and even wrote out the order in which I needed to use them. I don’t need to reference the guide anymore, but it still takes time. And on days when I’m too lazy, I just throw on a hat.
I hop in my pickup and pull out of the driveway. The neighbor kids are playing in a big pile of leaves, and it makes me smile. I remember when my brothers and I were little, we would bury each other in leaf piles and try to scare our mom. We never dared try to scare Dad; he always had a short fuse. Correction: has a short fuse. He beat Jacob, my older brother, one time for pulling a confetti popper in the house. And the memory that started off happy turned dark. That tends to happen when I reminisce about my childhood.
My dad is a corporate lawyer, so I grew up in an upper-class family. Joel Carlyle. What a fucking dick. My parents divorced when I was in middle school, and it couldn’t have happened soon enough. I’m a firm believer that “staying together for the kids” is a load of crap. If you hate each other, split up so your kids don’t have to witness your train wreck of a marriage for too long.
Jacob had it the worst, though. He ended up having to care for my mother when my dad left; she was a wreck. He became the “man of the house” at the ripe age of 14. And no matter how responsible he had to be at mom’s house, he was still treated like a little kid when we went to visit Joel.
Before I know it, I’m in the Target parking lot. I quickly run inside, find the game section, and check out. When I get home, I tear open the package and open the little red box. I open the packs of cards labeled Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3.
Lou has been asking me questions from the Level 1 deck. I wanted to buy it so I could contribute to the game and ask her more questions. I crave talking to her, and any excuse to continue it, I’m in. I could tell she didn’t want to dive into whatever insecurity she was referring to last night, so I won’t push it. She can tell me when she’s ready.
I shuffle the Level 2 deck and draw one from the top.