Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
LOUISA
I wake up to the smell of bacon. With heavy eyelids, I step out of my bedroom and walk to the kitchen to find B cooking breakfast.
“Good morning, birthday girl!”
I yawn and stretch my arms high above my head. “Morning.”
“I have the whole day planned out for us. First, we eat this delicious breakfast. I almost burned the apartment down trying to make it, so it better be fucking delicious. Then we’re spending the morning at the spa. And then tonight we’re going out dancing.”
She turns from where she’s flipping pancakes on the stove to look at me and gives me a soft smile. “Does that all sound good?”
She still feels bad about leaving me right after I found out my test results. I was able to convince her that I was just fine and that it was not that big of a deal. But she still is trying extra hard to make my birthday special .
For her birthday earlier this year, I was able to get her backstage passes to Grumpy Old Bear, courtesy of Matt. She’s been talking about my birthday ever since and thinking of how she’s going to make my birthday just as special.
A day at the spa is exactly what I need, and somehow, she knows that, despite my best efforts to fake being okay.
“That sounds perfect.” I walk over, wrap my arms around her from behind, and rest my head on her shoulder as she continues to flip pancakes.
“You’ve been extremely affectionate since I got back yesterday. Did you miss me?” She says it in a sort of mocking way because she has no idea just how much I did.
I lift my chin off her shoulder and kiss her on the cheek. “Don’t flatter yourself too much.”
She giggles and shoves me off. “You need to give the master chef space to work. If you mess me up, we’re going to have to eat bagels from the coffee shop down the street.”
“I like bagels,” I tease her with a wink.
“Oh, you’re so lucky it’s your birthday, so I can’t say what I really want to say to you right now.”
I pour myself a cup of coffee and go snuggle with Pepin on the couch while I wait for breakfast to be ready. I slept in today, and I heard B slip Pepin out of my room this morning. I’m assuming it was to feed him and take him on a walk since we will be gone most of the day.
A few minutes later, B walks out of the kitchen with two plates full of food. I take in the delicious smell, and I’m relieved that my appetite is back. I take the plate from her and eat almost every bite until I’m about to throw up.
B drove us to the spa, and we are currently getting massages. She joked about scheduling a couples massage, and I told her to do it. Typically, I’d want a room to myself for some peace and quiet, but I’ve been alone in silence all week, and I just want to have her near, even if that means listening to her flirt with her masseuse for an hour.
We finish up and put our robes on to walk to our next treatment, which I believe is pedicures. An employee walks us through some hallways until we get to a set of frosted glass doors leading to the nail salon.
They sit us next to each other and bring us drinks.
I take a sip of my mimosa and look over at B. “This is really great, B. Thank you.”
She reaches her glass over and clinks it against mine. “Anything for you, my darling.”
“Anything?” I raise my eyebrows in question.
“Nope, I take that back. Almost anything.”
“Where are we going out tonight?”
“I thought it would be fun to go to that club we went to for Iris’s 21st. Except this time, I’m not leaving you alone with strange men until I vet them myself.”
“Sounds good to me.” I laugh and take another sip of my drink.
B tells me all about her trip to Paris, how she met a girl there and they spent three straight days together. The girl even went with B to gallery viewings for work.
I don’t get how she can fully embrace a romance like that for such a short time, then leave and be just fine. Some part of me would always be sad and wonder what could have been. But not B; she seems entirely unfazed.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what? ”
“How are you so into people one minute and then are able to just move past it the next.”
“Because I’m a heartless bitch.” She says it a little too loud, and people turn their heads to look at us. “Sorry,” she whispers.
I roll my eyes at her. “No seriously, B. How?”
She adjusts in her seat, careful not to move her feet and mess up the nail tech. “I guess I always just go into things knowing they won’t last. I live in the moment and enjoy the time I have with each person, and then I move on because I knew that’s what the ending would be. Does that make sense?”
“But what happens when you meet the person you’re supposed to be with?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never been ready for or wanted that. I guess when my circumstances change, I’ll have to change my mindset along with it.”
I lean back in my big chair and watch the tech work on my nails, thinking about what B just said.
I’m really glad that works for her, but I’m not sure where I’m at in life or what I want. For so long, there wasn’t a difference between what people expected me to do and what I actually wanted to do. I guess a good place to start is figuring that out first.
We sit in silence for a while, and I almost fall asleep.
Someone taps my legs. “You’re all done, Ms. Blake.”
I sit up straighter and blink the sleep out of my eyes. Once they clear, I look down at my soft pink toenails. “They look great, thank you so much.”
I turn to B, who is also finished. “What’s next?”
“Manicures, of course. You can’t get the paws done and not the claws. ”
“You’re so extra.”
A spa employee walks us to the front of the room, where all the tables are set up for manicures, and we take seats next to each other. Then, we discuss what color and shape we want with each of our nail techs.
B chooses ballerina-shaped black nails, and I choose almond-shaped, the same soft pink to match my toes.
B leans over to see what I chose. “You’re so predictable.”
My eyes narrow into slits, and I glare at her. “You better shut up, or you’re not invited to my birthday party.”
B bursts out laughing, and it becomes contagious to me as well. She’s laughing so hard that her nail tech has to ask her to hold still; how embarrassing.
The frosted glass doors open with a faint creek, and I look over instinctively, as if I’m going to know whoever is walking in. I think that’s a small-town habit still engrained in me.
But this time, I do know them. It’s Sam.
My heart stops for a moment, and my eyes get as wide as they can stretch before I duck my head down.
He’s with a woman. Who is she? Why do I care?
I keep my head ducked, pretending to be interested in what’s happening with my nails.
“Louisa?”
Fuck.
I look up slowly, trying to put on my best face like I’m noticing him for the first time. He’s stopped in front of our table. The woman he's with is over by the wall, looking at nail polish colors.
“Hey, Sam.”
I look over at B and see that she’s just as stunned as I am. But unlike me, she’s not even trying to hide her shock .
I look back, and he’s still there.
“How are you?”
He stutters a bit. Is he nervous? “I’m good. How are you?”
“Same.”
Oh my god, could this be more awkward? I’m sitting here in a damn robe, and I’m sure my hair is greasy from the massage oil.
It dawns on me that I’m in a nail salon at a spa. What is he doing here?
“You here to get your nails done too?”
“I’m here with my mom.” He gestures to the woman that he walked in with.
“That’s sweet of you.”
There’s a pause filled with silence as we just stare at each other, unsure of what to say next.
His mom walks up behind him and hooks her arm in his. “Alright, I picked out my color.”
He turns to walk away with her; she clearly was unaware he was even talking to me. Before he gets too far, he turns back around. “It was good to see you.”
I respond with a forced smile. And then he’s gone.
They seat him way in the back, and with the pony wall between the two sections, he’s blocked from view. A small blessing. If I had to attempt not to stare at him for the rest of this appointment, I fear my head would explode.
B leans in and whispers, “Was that the Sam?”
I nod and keep focused on my nails.
“Damn, he’s attractive.”
“I know.”
“Sorry, that was a dumb thing to say.”
I just shrug as I look over at her. “Let’s not talk about him. ”
“Okay. But fuck that was awkward.”
I glare over at her again; this time, it’s less of a joke.
She successfully steers the conversation away from what just happened, and we go the rest of the appointment without mentioning Sam. When we finish, we’re walked back to the locker room to change out of our robes.
My mind wanders back to Sam and the night we spent together. He looked really good today, and now all I can think about is the feel of his soft lips in my skin. My nipples harden, and I shake the thoughts away.
You’re being stupid, Lou. He doesn’t want you, so stop wanting him.
I try, but I can’t.
B and I are at the club about to meet up with some friends. The music is too loud, just like last time, but I don’t care as much because I don’t plan on taking anyone home. I want to go into 25 with just myself and me.
When we got back from the spa earlier, B and I ordered my favorite takeout and ate while we got ready.
I chose to wear a tight-fitting black dress that is twisted between the breasts to look like a bow with a slit under to expose my sternum. The straps are thin, and the bottom only comes down to my upper thigh. My hair is slicked up into a low bun, and I chose black stilettos to go with the dress.
I have to admit, I look pretty hot.
Our friends arrive, and we all head to the bar to get drinks. B begged me to wear an “it’s my birthday” sash so I could get free drinks, but I refused. So, I will be paying for all my drinks tonight, which is worth not having to wear that damn thing.
I order my new regular, which is a Malibu Diet. I’ve learned that the lower alcohol percentage allows me to pace myself better. But that strategy only works if people aren’t buying you shots all night long, which is exactly what our friends are doing.
First, Evie bought me a lemon drop shot, then Liam bought me a tequila shot, and not long after, B bought me a couple shots of fireball. All of this is an absolute recipe for disaster, but you can’t say no when someone buys you a shot on your birthday.
I’m feeling pretty tipsy right now, so I drag B and Iris out to the dance floor. The lights are flashing, and the bass is vibrating the floor. B grabs my hands, and we spin in a circle, singing along to the song that’s playing. I only know half the words, but I’m at that point in the night where I’m really good at making up the other lyrics, or at least I think I am.
The song changes, and it’s the kind of song you want to bend over and shake your ass to, so that’s exactly what we do. My hair is falling out of its bun, so I get rid of it and shake it out. I’m sandwiched in the middle of our grind train, and in this moment, it’s hard to believe that less than a week ago, I tried to give up on it all.
A few songs later, B yells in my ear that she has to go to the bathroom, so Iris and I follow her there. As we’re waiting in line, all I can think about is the last time I was here and how that night ended.
I think about how the last nine months of my life have played out. How many new people I’ve met. The things I’ve done that I have either never done or hadn’t done for a long time. I’m trying not to think about the bad, so I focus on the good.
I think about my favorite moments. Then Sam pops in my head.
I think about running into him today and how my body reacted to seeing him. It was a tornado of conflicting emotions: anger, excitement, sadness, desire, discomfort, and curiosity. As the line slowly moves forward, he’s all I can think about.
SAM
I’m sitting on my couch watching a documentary about serial killers. I don’t know why I watch this stuff so late at night; I’ll be the first to admit that it gives me the creeps. But my curiosity always gets the best of me, and I can’t stop watching.
I jump when my phone starts ringing. I must have accidentally turned the sound on because it’s usually on vibrate.
After getting that phone call about Jacob, anxiety takes over whenever I get an unexpected call. It draws up all these negative and fearful emotions from deep inside me, where I shoved them down long ago.
But I have been going to therapy, and I’m slowly starting to work through some of the demons that haunt me.
I dig for my phone in the blanket draped over my legs for a while before it falls on the floor. I pick it up, and I’m shocked by the name on the screen.
It’s Lou.
I was really taken aback by seeing her today. I’ve been thinking about her a lot since I saw B at Daniel’s Pride party, but I always shut down any thoughts of contacting her.
Being that close to her was such a tease. I wanted so badly to hug her and take in her scent that I still have memorized, but not only were we physically separated by a table, time and my actions have separated us emotionally.
By the poor performance I put on today, I’m assuming she has to know I still feel something toward her. I kept telling myself that she was nervous too, but if she was, that doesn’t mean it’s for the reasons I hope it is.
I answer and put the phone up to my ear. At first, all I can hear is music that is way too loud.
“Hello? Lou, are you there?”
Maybe she called me by accident. No, how could she do that if she hasn’t called me in months? She had to intentionally call me, right?
Her voice is faint and muffled, so I can barely make out what she’s saying. “Sam, can you hear me?”
“I can barely hear you. Are you at a bar?”
“Club. One second.”
There’s some shuffling on the other end, and then the music fades slightly. Her voice comes in only slightly more clear.
“How about now?”
“Better.”
I can’t tell if she’s not saying anything or if I just can’t hear her.
“Lou, do you need something?” Shit, that came out harsher than I intended.
“Do you ever think about me? Like, think think about me?”
I can tell by her slurred words that she’s drunk .
“Lou, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but are you okay?”
“I’ll take that as a no. Okay, I’m embarrassed now. Goodbye.”
“No, wait! Don’t hang up.”
“So you do think about me?”
“Of course I do.”
I can’t tell if she heard me or not.
“Did you know it’s my birthday?”
I remember her telling me it was sometime in July, but it didn’t even cross my mind today when I saw her at the spa. It makes sense.
“I did not…Happy birthday.”
“Thank you.”
“Lou, are you with B right now?”
“No, she’s in the bathroom. I got tired of waiting, so I went to find our friends again.”
“Did you find them?”
She laughs. “No, I did not. Those sneaky bastards keep hiding from me.”
“So you’re by yourself right now at a club, lost?”
“I guess you could say that. Oh, look, I found the entrance! See, I’m not lost.”
“Lou, I want you to find a bouncer and stay put. Please. I’m going to come get you, okay? Can you tell me the name of the club you’re at?”
I quickly put my shoes on, grab my keys, and head out the door. I would just call B, but I don’t have her number. And I’m not sure Lou is capable of giving me her number at the moment.
“Excuse me, sir, my friend said to find you and stay put.”
There’s rustling on the other end.
“Are you looking for a very intoxicated brunette?” It’s a man’s voice.
“Yes, can you tell me what club she’s at? And can you please watch her until I get there? I’m on my way there right now.”
“Yeah, but hurry, the club closes in an hour.” He tells me the name of the club, and I punch it into my GPS. I think I know how to get there without it, but I’m not risking taking a wrong exit and delaying my arrival by any amount of time.
It eases my mind to know that a bouncer is watching her. But that’s not his job, so who knows how committed he’ll be if she tries to bolt.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m getting out of my car and headed for the elevator in the parking ramp. GPS said it was supposed to take 25 minutes, but I sped the whole way here, within reason, of course.
I get to the street level and jog down the block until I see the neon sign for the club. I get inside and talk to the first worker I see. They don’t seem to know what I’m talking about, and I start to get nervous. Then I spot her. She’s sitting on the floor, against the wall, with her head hanging down. Next to her stands a large man in a security shirt. I pay the cover charge and run over to them.
When I get there, I kneel down and lift her chin up so she’s looking at me. “Hey, I’m here.”
“Heeeey yooooou.” She smiles, but her eyes are blank.
I look up at the bouncer. “Thank you for watching her. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem, man. I have a little sister, too. ”
Well. Nope, I’m not going to correct him. It’s better for him to think I’m her brother. Otherwise, he might get leery and not let me take her with me. I nod and smile.
“Come on, Lou, let’s get you home.”
“But what about my friends?”
“We can text them from your phone when we get to the car. You need to go home.”
She sighs but stands when I grab her hands and help her up. I put one of her arms around my waist and grab her heels out of her other hand. She leans into me, resting her head on my chest, and wraps her other arm around me.
She’s basically dead weight, but I don’t feel comfortable carrying her in public with how short her dress is, so this will have to do.
It takes us a while to get back to the car, but we eventually make it. The first thing I do is grab her phone and have her unlock it. There are 12 missed calls from B and several other texts and missed calls from people I don’t know.
Without looking at her messages, I start texting B, letting her know that it’s Sam and that I’m taking her home. I text her my number so she can call me if she wants.
B
Omg, thank you! We’ve been looking for her!
Lou (Sam texting)
Do you want me to wait and give you a ride home as well?
B
No, you should get her home. It’ll take me a while to wrangle all our friends and get everyone to close their tabs.
Lou (Sam texting)
Okay. I'll let you know when she's home safe.
B:
I have her location, but that would be great.
Part of me wonders if B mentioned the location sharing in an attempt to disincentivize me from kidnapping Lou. Either way, I know I'm not going to do that, so I have nothing to worry about.
I drive out of the parking lot to Lou's apartment. It's a good thing I still remember where she lives because she is not capable of telling me how to get there. She falls asleep against the window, and I don't wake her until we get to her apartment building. She opens her eyes enough for me to walk her to her front door.
I grab her purse and hesitantly open it, not wanting to be intrusive. "Where are your keys?"
"In my purse, look in the inside pocket."
I look all over and can't find her keys anywhere.
"I must have dropped them at the club."
"Why would they have been out of your purse?"
"I don't know, but they're clearly not here."
Shit.
I try to call B, but she doesn't answer, so I call her again. When she doesn't pick up after the third time, I start to get nervous. Lou needs to get to a bed or a toilet right now. How long is B going to take? I don't think Lou should wait that long; she needs to sleep.
"How about you just take me to your place?"
"Lou, we should wait for B."
She starts to sniffle and stick out her bottom lip in a cute, pouty way. "B has never been on time for anything in her life. She's not going to be here any time soon." She's stumbling over her words a bit, but she still knows what she's saying.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I just want to wash my face and go to sleep."
I debate back and forth about what to do. I remind myself that I know she's going to be safe with me, but I worry about how it's going to look to B when I take her sister to my house instead.
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeaase. It's my birthday wish."
"That's quite a strange birthday request, if you ask me."
She slowly blinks her thick lashes at me.
"Okay, fine, but you're calling B on the way to tell her yourself where you asked me to take you."
"Deal."
We get back to my car, and she calls B, who again doesn't answer. I tell her to leave a voicemail, and she does. I would pay a lot of money to watch Lou listen to that voicemail when she's sober. She would die. She called me "the sexy man" several times.
I pull into my driveway, get Lou out of the car, and carry her into my house. She stumbles on the stairs, but I catch her. I take her straight to the guest bathroom because during the whole car ride, she looked like she was going to yak.
I get her situated on the floor by the toilet and run to grab her some water, electrolytes, and crackers. While I'm in the kitchen, I hear her yell from the bathroom, "Why did you stop talking to me?"
I hesitate because I wasn't expecting the question.
"What's the real reason, not the fake one? Did you just not like me anymore? "
I don't answer; I just gather the items and go back to the bathroom.
"Here, drink this." She takes the glass from me and starts sipping on it. While she does that, I squat down behind her and reach in the pocket of my sweatpants for the elastic band I grabbed.
Gathering her hair up on top of her head, I give my best attempt at a bun. It's clearly awful. She knows that without even having to see it, and she laughs at me.
"Hey, quit making fun of me. It's just mean t to keep your hair out of the toilet; it doesn't need to look great." I attempt it again, and it's a little better.
She never ends up throwing up, which is a pleasant surprise. I give her a pair of my shorts and a shirt to change into since I'm assuming she doesn't want to sleep in her dress.
I get her all tucked into the guest bed with a glass of water and some painkillers on the nightstand for whenever she wakes up. As I'm about to leave, she stops me by grabbing my wrist. "Thank you."
"Of course." I start to leave again, but she keeps her hold on me.
"You never answered my question."
"Which one?" I know which one she's referring to, but I'm hoping I'm wrong.
"Why you stopped talking to me."
"Let's talk about that in the morning. I'm guessing sober you will prefer that."
Her eyebrows scrunch together like she’s contemplating it. "Mmmmmmmmm, fine."
"Goodnight, Lou."
"Night."
I walk back to my room and shut the door. This night took a completely unexpected turn, and now I have a girl–who I once really liked but fucked it up with–in my house.
I brush my teeth and crawl into bed, exhausted. I plug my phone in and set it on my nightstand. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling for a while, wondering what I'm going to tell Lou when she asks again tomorrow. I guess the only right answer is to tell her the truth. But how much detail do I go into?
This is likely just a chance encounter with Lou, but if, for some reason, the universe is handing me a second chance with her, I don't want to screw it up.