Chapter 10 Symphony
SYMPHONY
Iheard the jingle of keys, then glanced over my shoulder to find Leigh watching me.
She leaned against the door frame, dressed simply in a pair of jeans, a Solaire sweatshirt, and Uggs.
I liked it when she pulled her hair into a puff on top of her head.
It allowed a clear view of her unflawed face.
She looked younger when she wore her natural hair too.
“Are you ready?”
I nodded. “As ready as I’m going to be. We can head over there now.”
It was the day I would have to admit my brother into the psychiatric facility.
He would have to go through an evaluation first, but I already knew it would end in them taking him in.
He was likely schizophrenic, just like our mother.
It broke my heart, knowing that, since being back, I didn’t get to spend any time with him as his healthiest self, but with time, maybe he would improve enough for us to get there.
On top of that, I would have to begin the process to legally gain guardianship of Iylah.
Valleigh was helping me with the entire process.
She even agreed to speak on my behalf about how I was already caring for my niece.
It was crazy to me how you had to jump through hoops and prove to the government that you had the best interest in mind when it came to your loved ones.
Like, who were they to tell us who my niece could live with?
But that was the wicked system we were a part of.
I saw a call from my mother coming in and ignored it. She would flip if she knew what I was up to. I could hear her now . . . “We can find a nice and established couple to take her in.” That wasn’t good enough for me, so like I’d been doing, I ignored her.
I pocketed my phone, then closed the distance between Leigh and me. She held her hand out for me. I accepted it then lifted it to my lips for a kiss. “I appreciate you. I know you could’ve been at work right now.”
She shook her head. “I’m wherever you need me to be when you need me to be there.”
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Leigh always knew exactly what to say. The only reason I was able to lift my head, square my shoulders, and puff my chest out was the strength that her presence offered me.
We headed out of her crib and made the short drive over to Rhap’s house. I’d talked to him about what was going to happen. He agreed with it, but I was preparing myself for him to change his mind. He was sitting on the porch when we arrived.
I climbed out and walked over to him. “Hey, you ready?” I asked cautiously.
He slowly looked up at me. “Yeah, let’s get it over with.”
I grabbed the duffel from beside him and shouldered it while he went to get in the car.
I placed his bag in the trunk, then rejoined Leigh up front.
The car ride was silent as I drove. I didn’t know what Leigh or Rhap were thinking about, but I couldn’t shake the thoughts of my mother from my mind.
My real mother . . . The woman who’d given her body up for me to grow strong enough to be born into this twisted world.
She was the last person I knew to be admitted to a place like this, and she’d never been released from it, and my brother was following in her footsteps.
I kept asking the question ringing loudest in my mind.
. . Would he ever walk back out? Underneath all of that was a quiet whisper that was somehow the loudest of them all.
I couldn’t help but wonder if I was going to be next.
Rhap was the same age as my mother when she reached the point of no return. In two short years, I would also reach that age. Was the same thing going to happen to me? Did I need to prepare myself to spend the rest of my life in a mental facility with my brother, like a family reunion or something?
Images of my mother flashed through my mind.
She was so beautiful, and she loved to change her hairstyle.
I hadn’t thought about her in so long that it was like once I opened the door to her memory, I couldn’t close it back.
I started to remember everything— like the good times when she would sing to me while giving me a bath or cooking us dinner.
She loved to read and would sit on our porch every morning as the sun rose, enjoying a cup of tea and her current read.
Then I started to think about the bad times, the times when she would disappear for days on end, leaving Rhap and me to fend for ourselves.
We would hit the streets after school to search for her.
A lot of the time, we came up empty, but some days, we would find her and bring her home.
We would take care of her and feed her what little food we had before helping her into bed.
Even worse than those times were the times when she would be physically present, but she stared at the wall for hours.
Sometimes, she would go days without speaking.
The silence was terrifying because my mother’s voice was my comfort.
I didn’t know what made her snap out of it, but I would always breathe easier when she was back to her lively self.
I was so buried in my thoughts that I didn’t realize we’d arrived at Purity Springs Care Facility.
I released a harsh breath as I began to rub my hands up and down my thighs, creating so much friction I could feel the heat building against my palm.
I only stopped because Leigh placed her hand on top of mine.
I never let anyone get this close to my personal life, but with Valleigh, there was no hesitation.
I needed her there if I was going to survive it.
Nothing about the situation was easy for me, and she knew it, no matter how confident I presented myself.
I slowly turned to look at her. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here every step of the way, babe.”
Even though it was scary for me, I knew it had to be done.
I nodded and leaned toward her for a kiss.
She never denied me, because she knew her kisses were always needed.
I sighed into it, hoping it would release some of the tension in my shoulders.
It helped, but only a little. The majority of the weight was still there, nearly crushing my windpipes.
I got out, then went around to open her door. Rhap waited patiently at the trunk for his bag. I ended up opening it, but I carried his bag for him while holding hands with Leigh. He was eerily quiet while we walked to the entrance.
“You good?” I questioned, even though I had a feeling I knew the answer.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t even know how to feel right now, if I’m being honest. It’s like déjà vu, but this time, it’s like, surprise, you’re the crazy muthafucka everyone is afraid of and giving the side eye too.
” His words made me flinch. He abruptly stopped walking, making Leigh and me stop as well.
“Promise me you will look after my baby girl, Symphony. She is my world, and I need to know she’s going to be good while I’m getting myself together.
I have been all she’s had her whole life.
” He’d shared with me the story of how her mother died during childbirth, and he was left to pick up the pieces with a wailing baby.
I was nodding before he could finish getting all his words out. “I promise, baby girl is going to be taken care of. I will bring her to visit you too. You mean just as much to her.”
Valleigh spoke up to settle his nerves a little more. “She will have me too,” she assured him. “I promise.”
His eyes bounced between the two of us before he sighed. “I’m grateful you found us when you did, bro. I don’t know what this whole process would look like without you here. Only God knows where my baby could’ve ended up.”
His words made my mouth dry, so I kept quiet. As if she knew I needed it, Leigh squeezed my hand for support. “I’m thankful too, bro. I got both of y’all for life.” I placed my free hand over my heart for emphasis.
He smiled. “Never thought I’d see the day I need my baby brother to save me from my own mind.” He shook his head, allowing it to drop into his hand. “Alright, let’s get it over with.”
I glanced down at Leigh, and she nodded, encouraging me to keep moving.
We made our way to the front desk, and the check-in process began.
There was a lot of paperwork. I almost lost it when they came to take him away.
My breathing was ragged, and I was having hot flashes.
I was sure everyone could see the sweat spots around my neckline and armpits, but I couldn’t care.
A nigga felt like he was drowning. I had to get out of there.
The sound of the car door slamming shut was the beginning of a deafening silence. My labored breaths increased, and Leigh palming my face was the only thing that snapped me back to reality. “Hey, hey. Breathe, baby. Everything is okay.”
“I hate leaving him in there,” I admitted. “I just found him, and now he’s gone again.” My voice cracked, and before I knew it, the tears were flowing. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting Leigh to see me lose my battle with strength. I felt so weak, like the walls were closing in on me.
“It’s not for forever, Sym. Just for now, until he can get into a healthy routine and is able to function on his own again. Okay . . . It’s not your fault.”
“It might not be my fault, but I’m probably going to be next.
This is a curse in my bloodline. We all lose it.
” I found the courage to open my eyes again.
She was still there, looking like I could trust her with the darkness inside me.
“I’m a ticking time bomb, Valleigh,” I whispered with a voice heavily loaded with fear and uncertainty.
She shook her head. “No, you’re not. Don’t speak that over yourself. People beat curses in their bloodlines every day. You are going to be fine. Look at your life, baby. You’ve already accomplished so much. You are strong enough to handle whatever tries to come at you. I know you are.”
I released a shaky breath and dropped my chin to my chest. She began to wipe away my tears and kiss all over my face. I allowed my eyes to drift closed as her honey scent invaded all my senses. Only then could I stabilize my breathing and clear some of the fog from my mind.
“Sometimes, it feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.”
She nodded while gently caressing my cheek. “I understand, but it’s time to put some of that weight down. You don’t have to go through this alone. I am here for you, Sym—in whatever capacity you need me to be. You can even put some of that weight on me.”
I slowly returned my attention to her. “Are you sure? I don’t want to overwhelm you or ask too much of you.”
She offered me her dazzling smile. Her head tilted to the side as she stared at me like I held her heart in my hands. “I can’t lie. I was not expecting you to come back into my life, but if I’m honest, I’m in love with you, Symphony. I’m not even sure I ever stopped loving you.”
Hearing her say that made me smile. “I never stopped loving you either,” I admitted breathlessly.
I snatched her to me by the back of her neck.
Our energy clashed together like thunder, and I sank deeper into the safety of her essence.
When we released each other, we both wore goofy expressions while gasping for air.
“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Valleigh. I got you too. I promise.”
She nodded with a grin. “I believe you. You’re the Alpha.”
Hearing her say that made me laugh for the first time in the last twenty-four hours.
Everything wasn’t perfect, but the timing of it was.
I could only be thankful I wouldn’t have to go into the next chapter alone.
I decided it was time to show Valleigh that I was serious about her.
I wanted her in my life for the rest of it.