Chapter 27
Sebastian
It took the combined strength of Lucian and me to haul Cameron’s gargantuan ass into the house.
He was half drunk, completely passed out, and close to four hundred pounds of dead weight.
By the time we dragged him to the couch, my arms were screaming, my bad leg wanted to buckle, and sweat caused my shirt to stick to my skin.
But, for as bad as I physically felt, Lucian looked a million times worse.
The second Cameron was safely on the couch, Lucian collapsed into a nearby armchair. His hands trembled so violently I thought they might hurt. Sweat plastered his curls to his forehead, but he was shivering, too, like his body couldn’t decide if it was hot or freezing.
I’d been around the last time Lucian got clean, so I recognized some of the signs, but I generally tried to avoid my brother. That meant that while I knew about the seizures, paranoia, panic attacks, and everything else that came with opioid withdrawal, I never really sat with him through it.
His hands twitched as if they hurt to keep still. Even though I didn’t like my brother, seeing him like this made me uncomfortable.
“Hey… Do you need to go to the hospital?” I asked, watching him as if he were a half-mangled kitten I’d pulled off the side of the road.
Lucian shook his head. “No, I’m good.”
“You don’t look good.”
Actually, he looked like he just might die in my house. If that happened after last night, Mason might think I killed him, too.
“I fucked up,” he said, eyes locked on the floor.
Part of me wanted to say no shit, but I didn’t feel like my cynicism would do either of us any good.
“We both did,” I sighed, perching myself on the couch arm by Cameron’s feet.
I draped a hand down and rubbed his calf through his thick jeans. Cam snored, and my nose wrinkled.
“Do you think she’s going to forgive us?” Lucian asked.
For the first time in his life, my brother seemed scared.
And, because of that, for a moment I thought about it.
In my sleep-deprived, angry, heartbroken mind, I wanted to call her reaction excessive. We’d been together for over a year, and I mostly treated her like a queen. But, in the past, when I was at my lowest, I’d been slightly... guilty of stalking her.
But that’s only because I knew how much better my life would be with her–and I was right. Plus, she was a celebrity. Stalking her was like reading a coloring book–far too easy to be considered anything other than a joke.
But… she didn’t know who I killed. And perhaps that was what scared her most. The mystery of Sophia's eight murders certainly had me on edge.
I could have killed someone trying to get to Mason, I could have killed someone for looking at her wrong, I could have killed for fun.
Little did Mason know, the first drops of blood on my hands came from defending her from evils she’d hopefully never know.
“You?” I looked him over once and assumed their falling out had something to do with him showing up high and her finding out.
If it were me, I wouldn’t forgive him. He'd done the dirty work; he got clean, and he relapsed for what? Nothing that mattered, I’m sure. But if Lucian got clean once, he could do it again.
“She’ll probably be pissed for a while, and then maybe you can save your marriage,” I mumbled.
“And you?”
Lucian’s question caused me to look away.
Slowly, I shook my head, unable to vocalize the consequences of my own actions.
All I could hope was that Mason would let Cam keep at least partial custody of Rosie.
That is, if Cam chose to stay with me instead of breaking apart the family he desired for so long.
“Jesus fuck, what the hell did you do that’s worse than M30s?” Lucian pulled no punches.
I’d rather he’d have just sucker punched me than asked that. At least, physical pain fleeted quickly. With this, I had no idea how to answer, and that killed me. Police hadn’t shown up at our door, which meant Mason hadn’t contacted local authorities.
That was good.
But something about telling Lucian about my homicidal past didn’t sit right with me. A deep-seated burn grew in my stomach, clawing up my throat. My shoulders rounded as I fought to stay upright, and just before I could collapse under the strain, light footfalls headed our way.
I looked back, expecting to see Sophia, but her fat orange tabby headed our way, waddling with each step.
I didn’t know she’d released those things yet, and she’d better have a fucking litter box set up. My floors were brand new, and if those things pissed on them, I’d have a cat-skin rug to decorate my foyer.
My eyes narrowed as Richard watched me, his face splitting in half with a massive yawn.
“Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,” I called, wiggling my fingers near the ground.
He plopped over, showing his belly and rolling back and forth.
Dumb ass cat.
Lucian looked over at the creature.
“Pspspsps,” Lucian tapped his fingers on the armrest.
This caused Richard to spring into action. He jumped to his feet with all the grace of a beached elephant seal, green eyes wide, pupils large.
His front end lowered as his butt wiggled from side to side. After a moment of calibration, he launched forward and smacked directly into the side of the armchair.
Lucian snorted, grabbed the animal by the scruff, and forced it into his arms to be cradled like an infant.
Even the cats like him more than they like me.
More footsteps padded along behind us, and I prepared myself for Pepper, the black cat, to come bite my toes.
“Oh, there you are, my fat boy,” Sophia cooed.
Somehow, this was worse.
Sophia appeared, messy bun falling to one side, and scooped Richard out of Lucian’s arms. He greeted her with a meow and licked her nose. She smiled and cradled him just as Lucian had moments prior.
“You two were being nice to him, right?” she asked, looking at us accusatorially.
“Yes, I was nice to your stupid fucking flea-bag,” Lucian snapped.
Sophia glared at him and held the cat defensively. Richard’s eyes slowly closed as a soft purr rumbled out of him.
“Watch out, Luci, you’re one wrong move away from ending up with a collar,” she warned, brushing her nose against the feline.
I swore to God, the cat fell asleep right then and there.
“What were you two talking about?” Her twin blues bounced between the two of us, not a hint of anxiety lingering between the two of them.
Lucian pushed his lips off to the side, and for a moment, I swore he’d defy her. But Lucian had nothing without his pride, and a collar would obliterate what little he had left.
“I want to know what you two did to piss Mason off so much.”
“Oh.” Sophia sounded upset. “Well, that’s easy to answer.”
She settled onto Lucian’s lap and looked up at him, still clutching the cat.
Sophia frequently sat on Lucian, and he made it known he loved it. He liked when his partners were plush enough to toss around, but his attraction to Mason remained a mystery. But, the second Sophia settled her full weight on him, he winced.
A smug smirk pulled at her lips.
“Seb and I’ve known about your addiction for months,” she sang.
My lips parted slightly as I watched the two. I had one hundred percent missed his relapse, which shocked me. Lucian was a professional, high-functioning drug user, and when he kept himself dosed up and wasn’t actively withdrawing, it was easy to overlook.
“Really?” Lucian’s brow creased.
“Mhm!” she chirped. “It was pretty obvious.”
No, it wasn’t.
“Isn’t that right, Sebby?” She smiled.
For a moment, I considered arguing with her, then I remembered I had no desire to talk about what actually happened.
“I… yeah.” My words came out far less convincing than they should’ve.
Lucian seemed too consumed by his misery to notice.
“If you saw me spiraling, why didn’t you help?” He picked at a string on his hoodie before meeting my gaze.
Why wouldn’t he look at his girlfriend? We might have been brothers, but I couldn’t fucking stand him. He knew that; I knew that; animosity was our thing.
“Because we didn’t think we needed to.” Sophia lifted one shoulder, causing her bubble-gum colored sweater to slip slightly. “We got you sober once, you chose drugs over your children, we thought it was time to let you hit rock bottom.”
Lucian’s eyes darted away from mine as he seemed to crumple in on himself.
“I didn’t choose drugs over my kids,” Lucian faltered.
“No, you’re completely right, you chose drugs over your kids and your partners… especially Mason.” Sophia seemed to revel in rubbing salt in Lucian’s mental wounds, and I sat back and watched.
It was like I was seeing Sophia for the first time despite knowing her for my whole life. And I didn’t like what I was seeing.
“For her entire life, her parents chose drugs and alcohol over her… And what did you do?” Sophia’s voice dropped to a coo as she leaned closer, fingers digging into Lucian’s cheeks like he was some naughty toddler.
Lucian winced, but he didn’t push her away. Instead, he continued to shrink, making him appear smaller than he ever had before.
“You became exactly what she feared. You abandoned her for pills, and worse than that, you made her raise your kids while you turned what little brain you had left into complete and utter mush.”
Something twisted in my gut. Anger at Sophia? Pity for Lucian? Or shame for the part I’d played? If I hadn’t killed Mason’s mom, none of this would exist.
Sophia’s lips turned into a razor-thin smile, one that quivered at the edges, barely concealing the anger she pretended not to feel. And, my bossy, annoying, brash older brother just sat there, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes as he shook harder than before.
This was like watching a python coil around a rabbit, and I couldn’t watch it anymore. So, I stood up and quietly snuck upstairs, hoping all of this would be done when I came back down.
With little else to do, since all my electronics were still in Hartwood, I decided the best option was to finally sleep for the night.
Before Alex and I broke up, I’d invested in an embarrassingly expensive mattress.
Heated, cooled, adjustable firmness and positioning–you name it, it had it.
But I’d only slept on it once or twice, between the endless arguments and my refusal to lie beside my rapist.
And yet, the second I sank into it, I realized something: whatever I’d paid for this bed, it wasn’t nearly enough.
Before I could even turn on my sleep playlist, I fell into a deep sleep.
The kind where you wake up completely disoriented in a puddle of your own drool.
My eyes were still heavy, burning with the urge to shut once more, and that’s exactly what I’d planned on doing.
But, as I rolled over, my body collided with something soft, warm, and Cameron-shaped.
Opening my arms, I pulled myself closer to him and rested my head on his chest.
His heart beat in a soothing, even rhythm, one that aided me in my quest for more sleep. Then, he spoke.
“You read what’s in that big yellow envelope yet?” Cameron asked, patting my back.
Ugh, not that. Not right now.
Slowly, I shook my head. With that motion, my barely-there consciousness grew, leaving me to stare into a mostly dark room.
It was nice knowing the curtains I also never really got to see in action worked.
“I don’t want to know what’s in there; it’s not real if I don’t know.”
Cameron’s sigh warmed the top of my head.
“That ain’t how this works, is it?” he asked.
My knowledge of the law said no, but my heart said if I didn’t know, how could I abide by whatever Atticus delivered?
“Do you know what’s in the envelope?” I just wanted to change the conversation.
“Yeah… I do.” He kissed the top of my head and held me a little closer.
And that, in combination with what he said, made me feel uneasy, to say the least.
“Is it bad?” I couldn’t imagine it being anything good.
Cameron didn’t respond; instead, he shifted around.
“I’m gonna go talk to her,” he said at last, voice low, certain. “See if I can fix it.”
Cameron brushed his hand over my hair like it was meant to calm me, but the truth was, I’d never felt less calm in my life. I’d never say it out loud, but I didn’t think Cameron could fix this.
In spite of myself, I tried to cling to the knowledge that he’d surprised me before.