25. Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Four
Allie
I told Sage to go back to work, and I cleaned up the coffee stain. If Laura came back, I wasn't going to answer the door. I needed time to think. Time and space to sort everything out in my head. The things Laura said made me question some stuff, but I also got a sickening feeling around her. But I think that has to do with the fact that she claims to have slept with Jax recently. Like, shortly after I returned recently.
I'm sure she does have an agenda. She was supposed to marry Jax, and now she's not. There's a lot of things she could tell me that aren't true, but there's enough going on that tells me there's some truth in what she said. I just have to figure out what truth that is.
Sage dropped me off at Jax's house when she got off work, and she offered to stay until I was ready to come back, but I told her to go. Now, though, I wish she'd stayed with me as I stand on the porch of his house. Sighing, I ring the bell.
Jax answers quickly, a smile on his face when he sees me standing there. "Hey. "
"Hi," I say, taken aback by his excitement. "Can we talk?"
"Come in," he says, stepping back. "You don't have to ring the bell. You can just walk in. You live here, remember?"
Remember? Seriously?
"I wanted to go to Sage's house and get you every single day. Multiple times a day. But I wanted to give you space like you asked. God, Allie, I miss you. Being away from you feels like having an itch I can't scratch."
"Jax—"
"Look, I'm so sorry for how inconsiderate I was that night. It'll never happen again, baby. I promise."
"Did you fuck Laura at her house after I was home?" I blurt out.
His face pales, and I feel sick. If she wasn't lying about that, she might not be lying about the videos, either.
"Where did you hear that?" he asks.
"That would be a yes, then?" I choke out, unable to look at him, my hand on my stomach as I feel like I might vomit.
"It's a kind of."
Shaking my head, I lean against the doorframe of the kitchen. "Kind of?"
He licks his lips and sighs. "Okay, here's the thing. When you returned home, it threw me for a loop. The detectives took you to look for that house, and I went to talk to Laura like she asked. She was wearing... basically nothing. She kind of attacked me, and it was a reaction. But I stopped it before it went too far. My senses came back and reminded me that she wasn't you."
The thought of them together in any intimate way makes me crazy. Want-to-claw-out-her-eyes crazy. "She says you filmed the two of you together like you did us."
"Never!" he exclaims .
He admitted to the portion of what Laura said that was the truth, but he'd have a reason to hide this. "This is the only chance you have to come clean without me losing my shit, Jax."
"I never, ever would have filmed Laura and I. I barely stomached being with her. She was a willing body, that's it."
Running to the closest bathroom, which happens to be the master bathroom, I throw up in the toilet as the thought of him with Laura makes me see the breakfast I ate earlier as well as the coffee I barely touched. He runs after me and holds back my hair.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not okay," I say, pushing away from him and leaning against the wall after I flush the toilet. "I had to find out from her, not you."
Jax sighs and leans on the counter. "I know, but I was... it was after you almost left, and I didn't want to give you a reason to leave again. It was a thirty second mistake, and the truth was, there was a chance you wouldn't have even cared then. Two nights before, you told me to go to my engagement party."
He has a point. "I wish you'd told me."
"I'm sorry. I feel like a broken record with it, but I am, Allie. I'm sorry for all of it."
"Did you tell your friends that you wish I was Old Allie again? The one who knew your inside jokes and could be brought places without needing a babysitter?"
His eyes narrow. "I miss having the woman who knew me better than I knew myself, but I never hid that from you. I never said anything about babysitting. Who told you that?"
"Maybe it would be better if I stay with Sage for a little while longer. Give us some space to determine if you can really settle for me. This version. Make your life a little easier. "
"Settle? I'm not settling. The thought of you leaving is the opposite of making my life easier. I can't be without you. These past few days have been hell."
Shaking my head, I can't look at him. "I don't think you realize how difficult all this is for me. Seeing those moments of sheer disappointment when I don’t remember the things you so desperately want me to. Knowing, every day, you wish things were back to normal and we were the old versions of ourselves again. It hurts to know I hurt you, and I'm trying. I'm trying everything that I can to get Old Allie back because I want her back, too. To remember us and your parents and our friends. It sounds amazing and wonderful, but I just... I don't. And I can't. I'm scared I won't ever be able to."
He reaches out, hands shaking, and I look at him, reading the fear in his eyes. "Please, baby, don't leave me. Give me another chance to do this all right. If you have to stay at Sage's for a while to give us time to date and get to know each other again like we used to, that's okay. But I won't survive if you leave me again. Yes, I miss the woman who knew everything about me, but Benji and Drew pointed out a few things to me the other night I didn't think about but should have."
He's mentioned Benji and Drew a few times, but I couldn’t pick them out of a lineup. "What's that?"
"I'm not the same Jax Old Allie would remember. It's been seven years, and everyone changes. Especially me. Losing you changed me more than I thought."
He has a point. We've never talked about how he is different from the man I'd remember if I had my memories of us. It’s always been about how different I am. "I suppose that's true."
"We jumped right into the committed relationship thing when we started moving forward. We forgot to get to know each other as the people we are now. I want to date you. I want to start over. I lived without you for seven years, and I can't do it again. Not anymore. Not when you're right here in front of me. Even if you don't love me right now, I still love you. It'll never go away, and I know it won't because it never even dimmed while you were gone."
"You want to... date?"
Jax nods, and he looks desperate. Something about this man pulls me to him, and I want him. I want to know him and love him and let him love me.
"Okay," I say and let out a sigh. "But no secrets, okay? I need to know everything."
"No secrets. There's nothing else, I swear. Who told you about the cookout?"
"Guess."
His teeth grind. "Laura. For the record, she wasn't invited. She hung out in the shadows, and she eavesdropped. I don't even know how she got into the backyard," he says, and I hear the anger dripping with every word. "I'll make sure she stays away from you."
"Sage says she has an agenda."
"Yeah, she probably does."
"She said she and I were friends before, but Sage disagrees with that."
He laughs and pulls me to stand. "You were nice to her, but she was kind of always just there. More my friend than yours, but it was because I felt sorry for her. She wasn't really likeable, and most people were outwardly cruel to her."
"Did I go to camp with her?"
Shrugging, he shakes his head. "That would be a Sage question. Sage went to camp with you. The two of you did almost everything together except date. She was very against double dating. "
"Did I play volleyball?"
"Very well. Got yourself a scholarship that paid your way through college. You're short, so you were the one who was always in the back row and set up the front row."
"And Laura played?"
Jax shakes his head again and laughs. "God, no. She is the most uncoordinated person I've ever met in my life. Beach volleyball at the lake was nothing short of a disaster. She'd insist on playing, especially after she got her boobs done. I think it was because she wanted to feel like she was on Baywatch or something."
Laura lied. "I'm going to guess we didn't go to camp together. I think she's trying to play up the friendship angle to get in and try and cause problems between us," I say and walk into the bedroom. Something catches my eye, and I look up at the shelf. "Have you been recording us?"
"What? No!" he exclaims. "I'd never do that, Allie. I’d never record us without telling you."
"I think someone is," I say and point to the shelf.
His eyes widen as he reaches up and grabs the small camera before hurrying into the office. "Son of a bitch."
"What?"
He connects the camera to a cord on his computer and starts tapping on the keyboard. "Call Parsons," he growls.
"And tell him what?"
"That we've been recorded in our bedroom without our consent. And I'm finding where it's transmitting to right now."
I pull out my phone, but he swears and slams his fist on the desk as Parsons answers with a gruff, "Parsons. "
"Detective Parsons, it's Allie Bennett. Jax and I found a camera in our bedroom that's been recording us. I don't know how long it's been there—"
Jax takes the phone from me, and I just stare in shock at how upset he is. "I almost found where it was transmitting the video to, but it was shut down before it could finalize. No, I'm not recording Allie and I. Yeah, you can come and get it."
He hangs up and puts his head in his hands. I reach out to touch his shoulder, and he instantly relaxes. "Jax?"
"I'm sorry, Allie."
"You didn't do this."
"But I should have protected you. I don't know how long it's been in there, and I don't know what this person has seen."
Swallowing, I wait for him to look at me. "I think it's been in here over a month, at least."
"What?"
"Laura... she stopped by one day when Sage was here. She made a comment about how we weren't having sex, which I thought was a strange thing to say. To assume. We've talked about the videos of us, and we watched a few in the bedroom. She told me today that you filmed the two of you. I think she's the one watching us."
"You didn't take a picture of us from the living room when you left with Sage, did you?"
I shake my head. "The one of us at the lake where you said I released the frogs? No, but I noticed it's been missing for a couple of weeks, at least. I thought maybe you knocked it down by accident or something."
"No, I didn't touch it," he says. "I have a feeling whoever has the picture also set up the camera. And I think it might easily have been Laura. "
"This is kind of scary. How far will she go to get you back?"
He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. "She won't come near us again. I'll make sure of it."
Holding him back, I feel both nervous and safe. If it is Laura, she's playing a long game. I know I messed up her plans, but it's not like I tried to. It's not my fault I was kidnapped seven years ago.
"How would you feel about watching a movie with me?" Jax asks.
"Sure, but you'll have to pick. I'm not sure what I like," I say, resting my ear on his chest to focus on his heartbeat as the panic rises in me.
"I thought maybe we could try one neither of us has seen."
I smile. He's serious about starting afresh. Dating. Starting over again. "Sounds good. Should we wait until Parsons gets here?"