21. Chapter 21
Sebastian
Years ago, the gym became a place to sculpt my body into one Mason might give the time of day. Recently, it was a place for me to avoid feeling anything other than sore muscles.
Each breath burned as I held onto the hundred-pound kettlebell with both hands. Sweat dripped from my face, darkening the foam mats below. But, even with the aches in my muscles, I couldn’t get Mason out of my mind.
I was losing her.
She had come home from France wanting to get married, and despite that being the one thing I wanted, I pushed her away. All because my fucking mom thought Mason wasn’t good enough for me.
All I wanted was for my family to not be ashamed of me. To not constantly compare me to Lucian. To admit that I had finally done enough to deserve their approval… at least, that’s what I thought I wanted until I actually convinced Mason to like me.
My grip tightened on the black handle to the point my knuckles turned white. Despite the protests from my muscles, I launched back into goblet squats with the weight. No matter how bad this hurt, nothing would ever compare with the searing pain in my chest .
For months, I had her wrapped around my finger. We talked every free moment we had, and I’d visit her as often as I could. I was her person. She wanted to spend every minute with me, and she even moved to America to be with me. And I pushed her away.
I always thought that regret regarding relationships was limited to those that ended. Mason and I were still dating, but I had been dethroned as first in her heart.
My legs started to shake as I forced myself to complete another rep. Unfortunately, my body won the war of making me stop. The second I went to squat back down, my legs quit, causing me to fall on my ass.
Thankfully, the kettlebell fell between my legs and didn’t crush my testicles.
But the loud thud it produced caused everyone’s eyes to shift to me.
My chest stung as I heaved in a shaky breath.
I couldn’t fight the one lone tear that escaped me, but I hoped the sweat pouring from my skin was enough to hide it.
This was humiliating , a fact only made worse when I heard someone call my name.
I turned over my shoulder to see Sophia standing behind me. She wore an aqua-colored sports bra with leggings to match. The spandex fabric clung to her ample figure, leaving nothing to the imagination.
“You just fell, are you hurt?” she asked.
My mouth ran dry as she struggled to move the kettlebell. But after a moment and a few less-than-lady-like sounds, the weight was away from me, and Sophia knelt in its spot.
“Oh my gosh, you are damp .” she exclaimed, wiping the sweat from my forehead.
I knew Sophia did yoga with Mason, but it was hard to imagine someone her size actually working out.
She grabbed a bottle of blue sports drink and offered it to me.
Condensation beaded on the sides, and I knew it was more refreshing than I could possibly imagine.
But I also knew it was full of artificial dyes, sugars, and God knows what else.
So, instead of accepting her kindness, I waved her off and reached for my reusable bottle .
Although the coconut water mixture I had in there didn’t taste good, it was better than putting whatever Sophia offered me in my body.
“I–I had no idea y-you came here.” My words were nestled between my gasps for air.
Having Sophia here to witness my vulnerability left me feeling awkward and exposed.
Her laugh came easily as she waved me off. “I’m here a lot; I’m just normally doing cardio or in one of the yoga classes.”
Oh, so she didn’t actually work out.
“Well, thank you for checking on me, but as you can see–” I gestured to myself. “I’m fine.”
Her smile remained kind as she flicked her platinum ponytail over her shoulder. It wasn’t that Sophia wasn’t beautiful—in fact, she’d haunted many a wet dream of mine—but she just wasn’t my type.
I liked people who took care of themselves, and while Sophia kept herself well-manicured, I deserved someone who cared for their body like I did. Someone like Mason.
“Why don’t you take five?” she offered, placing her hand on my arm. “You’re still really red. If you want to keep going after your break, you can.”
I hesitated, torn between my pride and the exhaustion looming over me. I hated appearing weak; that was the biggest thing that separated me from the insecure teenager I used to be and the man I am now. But… I also knew pushing myself too hard would do more harm than good.
“Uh, yeah, a break sounds good,” I meekly explained as I rose to my feet.
As I stood tall, I could feel eyes still lingering on me, and I hated it. Part of me was tempted just to grab my duffle bag and go. But, before I could run, Sophia had twined her arm in mine and was leading me toward a metal bench near the water fountain.
I sank onto the hard seat with a sigh, my muscles still trembling even as I tried to relax. Sophia sat beside me, her thigh brushing against mine. I moved away just a hair so she’d have more space.
I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.
“So, how do you feel about the baby coming in just a few weeks?” she chirped.
My heart sank at Sophia’s question, not because I wasn’t eager to actually hold the child that destroyed my girlfriend’s body, but because of my conversation with Cameron this morning. I didn’t trust him not to make something up just to see if it would anger me. But I trusted Sophia.
Still, I couldn’t just ask her. That would have highlighted the cracks forming in the foundation of our relationship. Instead, I just mumbled.
“Rosemary.” My tone came out much more defeated than I meant for it to.
“Isn’t it such a pretty name?” Sophia continued, confirming my worst suspicions.
But maybe there was a reason Mason lied to me. If she had just told me she wanted to rename our baby, I would have been fine. Still, the revelation that Cameron was right left my chest feeling empty.
Rosemary.
“It’s fine, I guess,” I conceded. “It’s just sinking in how much is about to change.”
Or how much had already changed. I needed to not only apologize but right my wrong of rejecting Mason’s suggestion that we get married.
“Change isn’t always a bad thing.” Sophia smiled, placing her hand on my thigh.
… Was she hitting on me or just being nice?
That’s when a thought dawned on me: Was Sophia allowed to hit on me? Sure, Cameron kissed me this morning, but I wasn’t sure what his intentions were. I ran my tongue across my lips as I considered the possibility of going further with Sophia.
That’s when I realized Thanksgiving was going to be awkward enough with me dating Mason. I didn’t need to make it worse by being polyamorous. But I could also just skip it this year. Which would probably be helpful, considering Rosemary comes the Monday after.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it… it was kind of a cute name. Baby Rosie. I tipped my head to the side as I thought a little further .
Rosemary Jane Albright… Or maybe Rosemary Jane Castillo if I could convince Mason to give me a chance to make things right and marry her.
“I guess you’re right.” I mumbled.
“I always am.” She beamed. “It’s been five minutes. Do you want to continue?”
I thought it over for a moment. When I started working out, I was running from my feelings. But now, I had more pressing matters to address if I wanted to feel better.
“I just remembered I have a few errands to run.”
I didn’t picture myself ring shopping so soon into my relationship, and I also never pictured myself getting anything less than a custom-made ring for Mason. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
The choices of jewelry stores around Hartwood were lacking, to say the least, so I ended up just picking the one in the middle of town. It was right across the street from Lucian’s shop, which meant I could see his neon green eye sore of a vehicle from the window.
Thank God I came to my senses before my degenerate brother got any bright ideas.
The bell above the door chimed softly as I entered, drawing the attention of the shopkeeper, a middle-aged woman with a warm smile.
Her gaze raked over me once, and the twitch in her lips told me I probably should have changed and removed my piercings before coming. Too late now.
A flutter of nerves filled my stomach as I pressed on despite the judgemental gaze of the worker.
“How can I help you?” She sounded entirely disinterested in everything going on.
But I didn’t need her to be enthusiastic, just helpful.
“I’m looking for an engagement ring.” My heart raced with a dizzying combination of nerves and excitement .
If today went right, which it had to, Mason would be my fiance.
The woman gestured for me to follow her, and together, we walked to a case of diamond rings. The gems glistened under the bright white light blaring from some indiscriminate place in the case.
“Diamonds are the standard for engagement rings; you can afford a diamond, right?”
I inhaled a long breath as I debated leaving and going somewhere else. If it weren’t for the time constraint, I would have left. But Mason was worth dealing with terrible customer service.
“I’m hoping for something in the three-carat range, preferably in gold.” I had done some preliminary research in the car, and that seemed to be the largest a ring could get without looking gaudy.
The woman’s eyes seemed to brighten. It was almost like she could taste the juicy commission I was pretty much promising her.
She took the key off her neck and unlocked the case before selecting one with a square stone in the middle. From the sides, I could see the band was indeed gold, but the army of smaller stones obscured it from the top.
“This is a three-carat princess-cut diamond… What size ring do you need for your fiance?” she inquired, passing me the ring.
I held the band with both hands, shutting one eye in hopes of looking like I knew what the hell I was doing.
“Four,” I mumbled, shifting the ring back and forth to watch how the stone caught the light.
The ring was nice, but I remembered Mason telling me how much she hated the ring her last fiance picked out.
I couldn’t remember the exact cut or style of the ring, but I remembered Mason saying it was too much.
So, while I’d love to flex my wealth and get her something flashy, I wasn’t the one who’d be stuck wearing it.
I handed the ring back. “Any chance you have something a little daintier? I want something that would complement my fiancé’s beauty, not compete with it.”
The woman slipped the jewelry back into the case as she looked for something else. But before she could hand me the net option, the door jingled behind me. Somehow, without looking, I knew who entered.
“Fancy seein’ you here.” Dale’s familiar drawl assaulted my ears.
I cast him a lazy glance over my shoulder. “I’m starting to think you’re following me.”
“Following? I’d never.” He laughed before filling the space beside me. “Good evening, Mary. How’s the business today?”
“Fantastic as always, reverend.” Her once harsh tone took on an almost sing-song melody. “I take it you’re here to pick up your rosary?”
Dale nodded. “But I ain’t in no rush. You can take care of my friend here first.”
“Nonsense. I’m still looking. You can go ahead and take care of Reverend Cole.” If it had been anyone else, I’d demand they wait.
But Dale’s strange interest in me wasn’t one I wanted to entertain. I assumed he had figured out I was the one tasked with closing the Sons of Christ case, which meant he’d probably try to stop me. And while I could handle that when it happened, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him today.
Mary excused herself to the back, and Dale leaned forward, resting his elbows on the glass case in front of us.
“I don’t much appreciate you bringin’ Cameron along to our meeting this morning,” he started.
“My apologies. I just assumed I was doing what was best for the church.” Really, I just wanted to make Cameron uncomfortable.
And, while I succeeded, I couldn’t shake the idea that I possibly missed valuable information in the name of harassing Cameron… but it was kind of worth it.
“So, what brings you to the jewelry store?” Dale continued. “You ain’t in trouble with the wife, are you?”
I knelt to examine the case in front of us a bit. “Is it a crime for a man to want to spoil his spouse a little? ”
Dale chuckled like he had been talking to a long time friend. “Most men don’t get their wives diamonds to spoil ’em.”
“I guess I just love mine more than everyone else.”
Mary returned with Dale’s rosary and passed it to him. He quietly thanked her before slipping the chain made of silver and red opal over his neck. The ornate cross hung perfectly on his chest.
“It’s nice knowin’ she means so much to you, and honestly, I’d love more time to chat one-on-one with ya.” He held my gaze with an intensity that almost felt threatening. “Can I count on ya comin’ over alone tomorrow?”
Under any other circumstances, I would have said no. Dale was the type of guy you avoided at all costs, but if he were as bad as Cameron said, my job would be to kill him one day. That was easier when the target trusted you. So, I agreed to come over in the morning.
Dale seemed content with my answer as he turned to leave. But, the second the door opened, I noticed a certain Jeep missing from across the street.
Where the hell did Lucian go?