29. Chapter 29 #2
He eyed me for a minute. “I’m gonna count down from three, and if that book ain’t in my hands, you’re gonna get it.”
“Get what?”
“Three…” he started.
And I turned my attention to the books in front of me. Cameron wasn’t that threatening. He’d never beat my ass like Lucian would, bite me like Seb, or even use emotions against me like Sophia.
“Two…” he continued, no hint of amusement in his deep voice.
I ran a finger along the spines, searching for something else I might like based on the title alone. My four books were thick, but I also knew I’d burn through them in three days at the most.
“One.” I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my head.
At the end of his countdown, I plucked another novel off the shelf and added it to the other one.
“You gonna give those to me?” he challenged.
A victorious smirk twisted my lips, and I shook my head.
“You realize you’re gonna be in trouble later, right?” he added.
“You’re not going to do anything. Maybe if you smacked my ass instead of spoiling me, I’d know how to act.”
“I ain’t gonna do anything here, we’re in public.” He leaned in close, pressing his nose to mine. “But once we’re home, you’re gonna be lucky if I don’t strip you down, strap you to a chair, and give you an attitude adjustment .”
A thrill coursed through me as excitement burned in my veins. I hadn’t wanted sex before… but now? Maybe.
I made a show of holding my books closer as I sauntered up to the register, leaving him to trail behind me. When we reached the counter, and the likely underpaid cashier rang me up, I tried to pay, but Cameron plucked my debit card out of my fingers and slipped it into his pocket.
He seemed a little uneasy as he watched the cashier, but I had no idea why.
Eventually, the receipt machine screeched, and the worker handed Cameron the receipt. The two held eye contact for a moment, and I swore Cameron wasn’t breathing.
“Is there something else you need?” the girl asked.
“I, uh, you go to my church, right?” he continued.
Was he embarrassed to be seen with me ?
She nodded, brown ponytail bobbing as she did. “Every week for the last four years.”
Cameron swallowed hard as he reached for the plastic bag on the counter. “Is there, uh, anything you want to say about any of this?”
Cam was a very charismatic man. He could strike up a conversation with anyone, and I’d never really seen him be awkward until now. Maybe he was worried about what the church would say about him toting around an unwed baby mama.
“No, but have a nice day.” she chimed.
Cameron nodded before leaning in and kissing me once more. It wasn’t soft or sensual like normal; instead, it was quick and almost automatic.
“She uh–This is Mason,” he explained, gesturing to me. “And that’s my baby.”
She stared at him, not like I’d do any different.
“Congratulations?” she offered.
I nudged him with my elbow, and he cast me a downward glance.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hissed.
Cameron’s eyes darted nervously around the room as a subtle flush crept up his neck. He cleared his throat.
“I, uh, I just wanted to let the world know who you are and that I got you pregnant–”
I snatched the bag from his hand before heading toward the door as fast as possible, which, unfortunately, wasn’t very fast right now. My palm met the metal handle as I pushed the door open, and the bell above me chimed. Before I was even out the door, Cameron was behind me.
“Mae, I don’t want you carrying that.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Quit having a hissy fit, and let me help you.”
I stopped dead in my tracks as I tried to process what the hell he just told me.
“... A pissy what ?”
“I forgot you ain’t from around here.” He placed his hands on his hips and blew out a breath.
What, did the accent not tip him off? Or that we met in France ?
“A hissy fit,” he explained, snapping his fingers in a circle as he thought. “It’s kinda like… uhhh.” He had to pause for another moment before he pointed at me. “ Crise de colère ”
I gritted my teeth so hard that my jaw hurt when I realized he was essentially telling me I was having a temper tantrum.
“Are you serious right now?” I asked, unsure if I should feel frustrated or embarrassed.
“I am.” His voice was calm, but his drawl seemed thicker than usual. “Now, hand over the bag.”
He held his palm up expectantly.
“No! You literally made me go to the hospital alone–”
“You weren’t alone, you had Seb.”
I cast him a piercing look. “I didn’t want Seb. I was scared, and all I wanted was you .”
His gaze softened. “... Are ya still scared?”
His question jolted me back. I knew I told him I was terrified when it happened, but I thought he swept it under the rug. Until right now, no one seemed to care if I had any lingering feelings about the situation.
I sealed my lips tight and nodded. If I had to talk about it, I’d cry, and it felt like that was all I’d done the last few days.
His expression went softer still. “I had a feelin’ something was still eatin’ at you. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
I rapidly blinked as I tried to keep my tears at bay. “I don’t want to beg you to be there for Rosie, especially if you’re claiming her in public.”
A look of genuine hurt crossed Cameron’s features. “Mason, I love you… both of you–”
“And that’s why my feelings are hurt.” I whimpered.
Cameron wasted no time pulling me in.
“I know you’re a good dad, and I know you love us. But I’m so afraid that somehow you’re going to end up like my dad.” The second I said that I realized how stupid I sounded .
In my dad’s life, I loved him. He was the only one of my parents who wanted anything to do with me, and that caused me to view him through rose-colored glasses.
But, after James died and the rosy tint faded, I had a lot of time to reflect on what actually happened.
That’s when I realized just how alone I’d spent my childhood.
Neither of my parents were there for anything as a child. Most nights, I’d just be with my au pair, thinking that was how all children lived. Now that the dust had settled, I was afraid that Cameron would end up pushing his child off on someone else while claiming to love her.
He could have been missing her first moments of life just because he was afraid of the doctor.
Now that I knew about the cult and that Cameron was Calvin Waters, I thought there might be more to the situation. But that couldn’t change my feelings.
He softly shushed me as he stroked my hair. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think about any of that.”
“I know you didn’t! Because men don’t think!” I sobbed into his chest.
Around now, Sebastian would tell me I was hormonal, or Lucian would just stare at me. Neither of those helped because I knew I wasn’t in my right mind. I’d never been good at expressing my feelings, and right now, I was so emotional it felt like I was actually going insane.
That was another thing my therapist told me was normal. But I didn’t want it to be normal. I wanted to be seen and heard and not just told I was being crazy or immature.
“I know we don’t.” He sighed.
I pulled away from his chest to see if he was fucking with me.
His face was serious, and regret was plain in his eyes. “I know I ain’t always good at understanding. But I want to be there for you. Please, just understand that I ain’t a mind reader.”
I sniffled as I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my sweater, and suddenly, it sunk in how ridiculous I could look if someone saw me crying on the street. Especially if someone recognized who I was.