36. Chapter 36
Sebastian
My jaw remained locked as I laid in bed and stared at my ceiling while mulling over the repercussions of killing my brother.
After Holly, I decided I’d never kill anyone I personally knew again.
It was too difficult to cover up and even worse for my mental health.
Plus… if he died, it’d probably hurt Mason, and that was the one thing I was against.
I sighed as I rolled over, capturing her in my arms as I pulled her closer. Her body molded to mine as I savored her warmth. If I were her fiance, I’d never hurt her like that, but her relationship with Lucian wasn’t one I could interfere with. Unfortunately.
That meant all I could do was wait this out. Either Lucian would improve, or they would break up. For my own selfish reasons, I wanted this to be the end of Mason and Lucian, but for her, I hoped he’d get his head out of his ass.
With that in mind, I closed my eyes and prepared to deal with this tomorrow. But, just as sleep threatened to claim me, Mason stirred.
She yawned and arched her back as she stretched. My eyes remained closed as I expected her to sort herself out and go back to sleep, but after a minute of tossing and turning, she started the process of sitting up.
My eyes peeled open, revealing a blurry and out-of-focus world .
“Where are you going?” I yawned, holding up a hand to help her up.
Her fingers twined in mine as she used me to push herself up. “I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
Not this again.
I groaned as I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes and dispelled what remained of my desire to sleep.
“It’s because you haven’t eaten today. Rosemary doesn’t like it when your stomach is empty,” I reminded her as I felt around the nightstand for my glasses. “What do you want?”
That question was a stupid one. Since moving back to America, if Mason asked for something, it was Mexican food. But, seeing as it was the middle of the night, she was shit out of luck.
“I think I’ll be okay if I eat a few pretzels,” she explained.
My fingers connected with my brass frames, and I slid them up my nose, allowing the world to come into view as I stood.
“You need more than pretzels,” I said before going to help her up.
Mason held onto both of my hands for dear life as I pulled her to her feet.
Her belly pressed into me as she wobbled for a moment before finding her balance.
I knew Rosie wasn’t supposed to come until after Thanksgiving, but I had a feeling Mason wasn’t going to stay pregnant for that long…
Call it father’s intuition, but it seemed impossible for Mason to get any bigger than she already had.
“She looks lower,” I commented, putting my hand on top of Mason’s bump.
“She feels lower,” Mason breathed. “Sometimes I think she’s just going to fall out.”
A smirk pulled at one edge of my lips as I placed a hand on her back and started to guide her out and into the kitchen. The walk wasn’t far, but it felt like it took longer than usual. Still, I remained patient as we reached our destination.
I helped Mason into one of the chairs at my dining table before going to root through the cabinets.
Up until recently, I kept a variety of snacks stocked so that Mason could grab anything she wanted when the mood struck.
That was until she all but stopped visiting my apartment.
I was glad she came back, but I felt vastly unprepared for this situation.
I pursed my lips off to the side as I stared at protein bars, cans of tuna, and bags of trail mix.
The realization that I had absolutely nothing a pregnant woman would want hit me like a ton of bricks.
I could probably force her to choke down a protein bar, but after that, we’d need to go out to get something.
With a resigned sigh, I grabbed one of the bars. I knew Mason would want junk, so I took a little comfort in knowing she would be forced to have something good for her and Rosie in her system.
“Here,” I said, extending the white wrapper towards her. “Choke this down, and we’ll get you something more appealing after.
Mason’s freckles bunched as she looked at the bar with disgust.
“You don’t even get the good flavors,” she muttered.
“Honey almond is my favorite,” I said, taking a seat across from her. “Plus, these bars only have three ingredients. What else could you want for them?”
“What? Honey, nuts, and sadness?” She laughed, tearing the wrapper in two.
“Close. Honey, almonds, and pea protein.” I smiled, cradling my chin.
Reluctantly, Mason took a bite. Instantly, she dry heaved, but I knew it wasn’t from the flavor of the bar.
She’d eaten them a time or two before. Rosemary just wasn’t a fan of being left hungry for too long.
This would lead her to force Mason to gag on anything .
The whole thing seemed rather counterintuitive, but I supposed fetuses weren’t known for their intelligence.
Mason choked her first bite down, and the second one seemed to sit a little easier in her stomach. There would have been nothing wrong with letting her eat in silence, but as I studied the woman in front of me, my conversation with Sophia replayed in my mind.
Mason had renamed our daughter without my consent, and I had no idea why.
My lips felt dry as I swiped a tongue over them, suddenly needing to look away from the person I loved more than anything else.
“Hey… Can we talk?” I asked before I could think better of it.
“About what?” She sounded completely oblivious .
“The baby.”
I looked back after I spoke, Mason’s wide eyes pinned on mine, and for a moment, I thought I’d falter under the fear of disappointing her.
“You’re not having second thoughts… right?”
I quickly shook my head, slightly offended she’d ever think that. “You’re never getting rid of me, you know that.”
Her shoulders lowered as she resumed nibbling at the protein bar. Mason’s relief was palpable, but it was short-lived.
“Sophia told me you renamed her… is that true?”
Mason froze with the bar just centimeters from her lips. She lowered it to the table, her gaze flickering away from mine as she started picking at a loose string on the sweatshirt I’d lent her.
“I did, yeah.” Her admission was barely above a whisper.
Hearing it for the third time didn’t make it any easier.
Cameron, Sophia, and now straight from the horse’s mouth.
All of it left me feeling like an outsider in my relationship.
But, due to just how many skeletons I had in my closet, it felt like I couldn’t be angry at Mason for having her own secrets.
But this one directly involved me. Also, it wasn’t like she could have hidden it forever.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I tried and failed to keep the hurt out of my voice.
She shrugged like a child who’d just gotten caught doing something they knew was wrong but couldn’t quite explain why. Her eyes met mine for a brief moment before darting away again.
“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” she explained.
My lips rolled into a thin line as I nodded. “Did you not like Lavender ?”
She shook her head. “I think Lavender Joy sounds like a discount laundry detergent.”
“Princess… Then why did you agree to it?”
Mason and I had gone back and forth for hours when it came to our daughter’s name. She’d suggest something else, her top contenders being Aurora, Delilah, and Clementine, but she didn’t seem outright passionate about any of them .
“Because it felt like I should let you name her. You didn’t have a reason to step up and play dad, but you did.”
My head tipped to the side as a look of pity broke on my face.
“Mason, I’m not stepping up. I love you. I want you . Was I expecting you to be pregnant when we finally got together? No. But, being in our daughter’s life has never felt like I was playing dad.”
Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to keep a brave face.
“I know,” she said, her voice trembling as tears welled in her eyes. “But I appreciate you, and I feel like a burden.”
My expression flattened as I stared at her. “... You feel like a burden?”
She nodded. “You’re always busy with work, and I feel like everything has been a mess for you since we started dating.”
Was that why she seemed to prefer Lucian to me?
“You will never be a burden. Do you understand?” I tried to keep my voice light despite just how serious this was.
Mason sheepishly nodded.
“The only thing I ask in return is no more secrets.”
Her gaze flickered to mine, and though her face was blank, her eyes seemed scared. Mason’s lips parted before rapidly shutting, almost as if she had something to tell me. My shoulders straightened as I prepared to accept whatever she told me, but a confession never came.
“No more new secrets?” she asked, causing me to wonder why she needed the clarification.
“Do you have any old secrets that could potentially affect me?” While I wanted to know everything about Mason, I didn’t really care if she had hidden anything pertaining to her past.
Fuck, I killed people for a living. That instantly made her look like a saint no matter what she had to say. But, if she had hidden something that could affect our future, I needed to know.
She hesitated for another beat before shaking her head.
“Then, whatever old secret you have may remain a secret.”
“So, no hiding from here on out? ”
“Exactly.”
Mason took a deep breath before looking at the protein bar. “This tastes bad, and I don’t want to eat it.”
A smirk twisted my lips as I removed it from her hand and took a bite. While this flavor was my favorite, I understood her point.
“Do you think you have enough in your system to prevent you from vomiting in my car?” I mumbled with a full mouth.
She nodded.
“Then that’s good enough.” I folded the wrapper over what remained of the bar. “Let’s go get your shoes on.”
“They’re downstairs,” she explained as I moved to help her stand.
“I know.”