39. Chapter 39
Sebastian
I sat in the pews of Saint Samael's, my arms closely crossed to my chest as I stared up at Dale as he lectured his entire congregation from behind his podium.
Honestly, I should have been focusing on him and him alone.
Reverend Cole was up to no good, that was for sure.
But, he managed to leave no traces of his misdoings.
Instead of focusing on any of that, my mind lingered on Heather White. After I moved from Portland to Hartwood, she stopped texting me. It was like I dropped off the face of the earth to her. But, now, after the one video chat I shared with Sophia, she messaged me at least twice a day.
Once to say Good Morning and once to tell me how proud she was of me. That second one caused me to pause a bit each time. Heather had been the one to raise me, and to a lesser extent Lucian, but she wasn’t my mother.
That distinct pleasure belonged to Sabrina DuBois-Castillo.
But, that always seemed like a title she never cared for.
One she seemed to pass on to others at any given chance.
Heather, my sister Leona, even Lucian’s mother during random summer visits, all had gifted me with more maternal love than my mom ever did.
But, my mother’s approval was the only one I craved.
And, for the first time in ever, I wondered why .
What did I truly want from my mother? Love? Validation? Or was it something else entirely? What could Sabrina offer me that life right now didn’t? The answer to that seemed to be an easy, nothing .
I continued into my thoughts, not paying attention to anything around me until Dale’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Sebastian. It’s nice to see you. I coulda sworn you told me you weren’t religious, but this is the second week in a row I’ve seen you in my pews.” His drawl bounced off the walls of what I realized was now an empty church.
Fuck .
I cleared my throat as Dale sat down beside me. This was the first time he had been close enough for me to smell, and while he didn’t stink, the experience wasn’t pleasant. He had that almost stereotypical old man smell.
“I was raised Catholic and like routine,” I tried to explain away my consistent appearance in this hellhole.
“Is that so?” Dale’s tone seemed to be carefully measured, but the look in his eyes told me he wasn’t buying my excuse.
I forced a smile and nod.
“Well… It’s good to see you,” Dale continued. “I ran into your brother a few days ago. Such a shame he won’t be attending church anymore.”
My fingers twitched against my lap. “I wouldn’t say Lucian missing church is a shame.”
Honestly, not seeing him here had made the experience a little easier.
“I guess you’re right. He truly is a man controlled by his demons.
” Dale said that matter of factly, and I expected this to turn into some spiel about me needing God, or how faith will prevent me from becoming like my brother, or whatever he needed to say to break me just enough to have me believe him.
Instead, his next comment surprised me. “How’s your wife feelin’?
It’s been about a week since she was in the hospital. ”
I tried to keep confusion off my face. Of course Mason was of some interest to him, but seeing as he promised not to talk about my wife or my baby, I thought he’d forget about her.
“She’s well.” At least I thought she was. “She’s been having some pretty consistent cramping so we’re focused on getting as much ready for the baby as possible.”
The crib was ready, as was the glider. The weird silicone bottles Mason insisted on were sterilized, as was the breast pump which looked more like a torture device than a tool for helping feed a baby.
Something about a human being milking themselves didn’t sit right with me, but that was neither here nor there. And, none of that was information Dale needed.
“Sounds like you’ve been busy… Say, I walked past the gym the other day and noticed you spending time with a blonde woman… Who was she?” At face value, there was nothing about Dale’s words that could have been interpreted as malicious. But, the under current in his tone suggested otherwise.
That begged the question of what was Sophia to me ? Until recently, the answer to that had been easy, my brother’s girlfriend… but the past few days, she’d been pushing that limit. I was fairly certain it was just Sophia being friendly, but her actions the last few days almost seemed flirtatious.
She’d been touching me more and asking me about my day, the case, and genuinely just talking to me. But, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Not yet at least.
I cleared my throat, trying desperately to keep my cool. “Sophia? She’s just a family friend.”
Dale raised an eyebrow. “Just a friend? She seemed rather chummy with you.”
“If you’re planning on telling my wife, I can assure you she won’t care.”
His smile widened slightly. “I can assure you that I wouldn’t dream of causing problems in your marriage.”
The way he said that caused me to pause. “Are you insinuating you’d cause problems in other people’s marriages?”
“Not at all. Marriage is a beautiful thing,” he said. “But, lying, on the other hand, is not. ”
A small chill ran down my spine. There was no way he could know I was lying about my marriage to Mason. I hadn’t even specifically told him who my faux wife was.
“Can I ask what you’re insinuating?” I chose my words carefully, not wanting to expose anything he didn’t already know.
“Nothing at all. Just speaking on the glory of living an honest life. One a fine young man such as yourself knows all about.” His voice seemed to ooze with hidden meanings. Like he was trying to unnerve me, trying to make me doubt what he actually knew and what was merely a guess.
“Of course.” I tried to sound cheery, but I was pretty sure I failed.
“Good to hear. It’s always nice knowing people of such integrity live in my humble community.” He patted my shoulder, his touch lingering for just a moment too long. “Even if you aren’t interested in formally joining me… yet .”
I almost rolled my eyes. It seemed like Dale would be content to rehash the same lecture forever, and honestly? It was growing old.
“Do you have anything new to add to that? If it didn’t work the first five times, it won’t work now.”
Dale’s smile brightened, revealing those disgustingly yellow teeth. “Not at all, I just wanted to remind you that no matter what, my offer will stand, and even if everyone else in the world abandons you, God never will.”
I stared at the strange, stout, old man as he stood and ambled away with more confidence than he deserved to have.
And, despite all that, I knew one thing for sure.
I may have not been a crucial member of the house like the rest of the adults, but I wasn’t alone, and no one in that house would be abandoning me. At least, I didn't think they would be.
Before I went home, I needed to stop for a few packs of cigarettes.
And, while I wasn’t considering quitting, it was getting annoying to have to get a new pack every day.
So to circumvent having to run out for them this week, I purchased ten packs for myself…
and one for Cameron. He seemed to not like my menthols mu ch, and while I knew he supposedly quit smoking, he purchased me candy last night and I wanted to return the gesture.
Not because I liked him or anything. After all, I had standards. I just didn’t want him to have anything to hold over my head.
When I finally arrived back home, I was a little disheartened to see a certain orange truck missing. Sophia’s car was gone too, but I figured she was at the gym. That wasn’t unusual… but, where could Cameron have gone? He didn’t have church anymore, not since Dale excommunicated him.
Whatever, I couldn’t think about that right now. I had more important things to do, like give Cameron the cigarettes so he’d never have the audacity to talk to me about something as personal as feelings again.
With that in mind I grabbed the paper bag from my driver's seat and hurried onto the porch before wrapping my fingers around the door handle.
My heart threatened to escape my throat the second I realized the door was unlocked while no one was home.
But, my fear was all but dashed when I noticed Mason sitting on the couch.
She had a blanket draped around her shoulders as the soft glow of the T.V. lit her features.
Her eyes were transfixed on the screen, and her expression completely blank.
Her lack of emotions led me to believe she was doing something mundane, like watching the news.
But, that illusion was completely shattered when a slightly younger, thinner, and peppier version of Mason bound onto an impossibly vast stage.
The T.V. was barely audible, but the cacophony of cheers still echoed in the house. The Mason on the couch tipped her head slightly as the one on TV waved, blowing kisses to various points in the crowd before winking at the camera.
I sat my bag down on the table near the entryway as I slipped my shoes off. Once I was done, I cleared my throat. My goal was to draw Mason’s attention, not startle her.
She shifted slowly, glancing at me over her shoulder.
“You’re home,” she whispered .
I nodded before venturing closer. “Where’s everyone else?”
“Grocery shopping. They didn’t want me to come with them.” She sounded disheartened at being excluded.
But, thanks to her hormones, Mason was just as dramatic as she was beautiful.
“Did they say that directly?” I asked, sinking onto the couch beside her.
Mason wasted no time resting her head on my chest, and I kissed her hair.
“They didn’t have to,” she murmured.