6. Koi
I finished my drawing and placed my tools away. Everyone was moving around the room, putting their items away or chatting with each other. It had been a productive night. I had gotten further in my drawings than I had on previous occasions. But I attributed that to the peace that I made in my mind.
Two weeks had passed since I first saw Salem Gates in my evening art class. I had finally returned, though it had been hard at first. I didn’t return simply because I promised him that I would, but because I promised Chelsea that I would.
I had a bad habit of overpromising things and situations that weren’t comfortable for me because I didn’t like saying no.
That was how I found myself attending art classes again.
I had finally gotten past my apprehension of being in an intimate yet public setting with Salem.
Over dinner, I shared my predicament with Chelsea.
She understood the implications of me drawing my student nude and how it posed a challenge when considering the ethics of it all.
As the days passed, I grew more comfortable with drawing Salem and seeing him as just another model. I was here for relaxation and art therapy, and he was here to make some money. Neither of us could begrudge the other of our needs.
“Bestie, how are you feeling tonight? Sorry that I didn’t get to greet you before. I had an emergency with one of the installations that needed to be handled for this weekend’s art showing.”
“Girl, you’re fine,” I stated and waved a hand dismissively.
“So, have you made peace with Salem’s presence?”
“I have. I honestly don’t even think about the intimacy of it anymore.”
She smiled brightly, showing off her braces.
“Good,” she remarked, clapping her hands.
“I was concerned that you were going to give up, and I don’t want that for you.
This is important for you. This space helps you find the healing that you didn’t find in therapy.
You deserve this, friend. If I knew that he was your student before I gave him the job, I never would have done it. ”
“You had no way of knowing because I didn’t share that with you. That’s on me. All three of us just found ourselves in an odd situation that we have to make the best of.”
“Definitely doing that.” She smiled. Chelsea looped her arm through mine and led me toward the door. “You have to admit that he’s fine, though, right?”
I held my hands out with my arm still looped with hers. “I admit no such thing.”
“Please. Girl, that mine is finer than fine.”
Laughing, I replied, “You said it, not me.”
“You have to admit it.”
“I admit no such thing. Hell, I’ve already gone through a situation. I don’t need another one.”
Chelsea pulled her arm free of mine. “Lies! You did nothing wrong.”
“Well, unfortunately, no one believed me.”
“Those who counted did.”
“If only you were the dean of the college.”
“I would already have you as a tenured staff,” Chelsea stated affectionately when we stopped at the front doors.
“From your lips to God’s ears,” I replied and pushed the door open to step out into the humid night.
“Professor Hall.”
Chelsea and I both stopped. I turned to my right and spotted Salem standing off to the side.
“Hi, Mr. Gates.”
“May I speak with you for a second?”
“Sure.” I turned back to Chelsea. “I’ll call you tomorrow, babe.”
“Sure, sugar. Be safe,” she whispered and kissed my cheek.
I watched as she stepped back inside the gallery and closed the door.
“May I walk you to your car?”
“Actually, I was going to grab a cup of coffee. I have a late night of grading presentations, so . . .”
I couldn’t believe that I had laid that out there like that.
He smiled that beautiful smile, and those dimples winked at me. “I’ma take that as an invitation for me to accompany you.”
“Do with it what you will.”
We walked down the sidewalk in silence as cars drove by on their way from one place to another. Thankfully, we were twenty minutes from campus. I wasn’t too worried about being spotted by anyone from school, although it could happen.
When we arrived at the coffee shop, Salem went to the counter to place our orders while I grabbed a table. There were only a handful of customers, including an elderly couple, two high school girls, and a businessman who was focused on his computer.
I felt at ease and took a seat near the rear of the coffee shop and away from the windows. It was awful that we were just having a cup of coffee, and I had to take the precautions that I was, but I had been down this road before.
“Here ya go. Got you a sticky bun too.”
“How do you know that I eat sweets, sir?” I asked sarcastically.
“Don’t even know. Just thought I might take the risk if it meant I got to see you smile.”
I couldn’t help the blush that spread over my face as it grew warm, and I grew uncomfortable under his scrutiny. When I looked back up at him, he wore a big, bright smile as if he had purposely taunted me to get a rise out of me.
“I wanted to apologize to you for being so aloof. I know these last few weeks weren’t comfortable for you in class, and that was due to my attitude. You did nothing wrong, Salem, and for that I apologize.”
He tilted his head and smirked. “Oh, I moved from Mr. Gates to Salem. I must be doing something right.”
I pointed my finger at him and narrowed my gaze. “Don’t start.”
He chuckled. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. But, nah, I can appreciate that you’re in a difficult predicament. People love talking, and they easily get the wrong impressions. That’s the last thing you would need, especially if it impacts your job.”
I nodded as my distant thoughts took over.
“So, I’m not trying to create a challenge for you, beautiful. I just wanted you to remain comfortable.”
I blew out a breath and looked into his discerning gaze.
He looked concerned and thoughtful. The teasing glint was gone from his eyes, and it was replaced with a thoughtful look that made him appear more mature.
Although, if I were to admit it, he always seemed more mature than the other male students in my classes.
“I had a situation a couple of years ago that has traumatized me.”
“We all have those lingering ghosts that cause us to be cautious.”
“Yes, well, I don’t know if you heard about it, but mine involved a student. Kyrie Charles was?—”
“Star quarterback, made headlines, and always brought the school good publicity, and his parents were wealthy and made generous donations.”
“Then you’ve heard.”
“Let’s just say that some of the girls felt it necessary to inform me about you.”
I was sure they did, all for their self-interest. If any of them had a clue that he was interested in me, then I was doomed.
“Well, he was trying to get a good grade in my class, but Mr. Charles hardly ever came to class, and when he did, he was often sleeping or flirting with the young ladies. He barely got the F in my class that he did, but he tried to bribe his way into a B. He offered to pay me ten grand to change the grade. When that didn’t work, he asked for extra credit to make up for it. I told him no; the grade was in.”
“Did you get pressure from his coaches?”
“No. They wouldn’t intervene. So, he decided to handle things himself.
He and his parents went to the dean and complained that I was failing him because he refused to sleep with me.
They claimed that I had approached him on several occasions, and he turned me down.
He brought out these papers and assignments that someone else had done for him.
I knew that he hadn’t done them because I had his original work with all the wrong answers, not to mention all the missing assignments. ”
“Was there an investigation?”
“There was. They interviewed several students, most of whom were also on the football team with him, and some of the young ladies who hung around him. Their stories matched with everyone accusing me of showing him special attention in class, and holding him after class, or having him come in early. None of those things were true.”
“What did the investigation reveal in the end?”
I sighed as I thought back to that dreadful period in my life. I struggled with depression after that and wished that it would just fade into the abyss.
“The dean stated that the investigation was inconclusive. They were able to see the times and dates that I put his grades in, and they were able to access the assignments that he did upload and see that the grades were warranted. As for the missing assignments, it was my word against his. He claimed that he did not upload those, but rather that he turned them in physically.”
“And they still deemed it inconclusive?”
“Yes.”
“They weren’t able to prove that you made a pass at him though.”
“No. There were no phone calls or text messages, but he said that I did that whenever I held him after school or had him arrive early. The friends that were interviewed attested to me holding him up.”
“Damn. I’m sorry you went through all that. Now I understand. You don’t need them kinda problems.”
“No. I don’t. If someone shows interest in me, then I put up my walls. It’s all I know how to do to protect myself.”
“I’m not trying to bring problems to your life.
And it sounds like he was a young, spoiled ass nigga.
I don’t come from that, and I’m not that.
I’m just out here handling my business. I promise not to create issues for you.
Be guarded, beautiful, but don’t block light and love out of your life, especially when it comes in the form of a real nigga.
All I’m interested in doing is bringing you pleasure, Pisces. You deserve it. Believe that.”
“Thanks.”
I smiled warmly at him, and we talked for a while longer before we had to leave.
I felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders, but at the same time, I knew that I shouldn’t have disclosed all of that to him.
I was out of line, and it was unprofessional.
I only prayed that it would not come back to haunt me.