13. Koi
I was excited yet apprehensive to see Salem when he showed up in class. I had been deep in my feelings all weekend when he had not called or texted me back. I had gone from being angry to worrying and back to angry again. I allowed myself to have a full-on pity party and get deep in my feelings.
Yet, I couldn’t help but recall how his words and actions made me feel.
All weekend, I ran several thoughts through my mind, from if he was selling dope again to if he was with another woman who appreciated him more.
After checking the county jail website, I ruled out his being locked up, and I finally chalked it up to him deciding to “keep it pushing.”
My fickle emotions were a result of the duality of my Pisces nature, and accepting that was a part of loving me. I decided it was for the best that we cut ties with one another. Seeing him in class made me happy that he was safe.
Despite my happiness, I chose not to engage with him because I knew it would be impossible to hide my emotions.
I was scared that if I called on him, the first words that he spoke to me might cause me to react unprofessionally.
After brushing him off at school, I avoided the studio because I suspected he might show up.
I was in my “art room” at home when the doorbell rang. It was a little after eight in the evening, and I wasn’t expecting company. I pushed away from the pottery wheel and wiped my hands down my smock.
I wore short, loose-fitting shorts and a raggedy T-shirt. My feet were bare and had specks of clay on them. I shoved my falling ponytail to the back of my head, but a few tendrils of hair still escaped.
“Coming,” I called out as I padded my way through my apartment. I froze when I peered out the peephole and saw Salem.
“Shit,” I mumbled.
“I’m not going anywhere, Koi. You might as well open the door. I saw the peephole go black, so I know you’re in there, and I know you saw me.”
Blowing my hair out of my face, I wiped my hands down my smock again and removed the locks from the door. I opened the door and peered up at him.
“You gon’ let me in, or we’re gon’ have this conversation out here?”
“Come in,” I mumbled reluctantly.
“You busy?” he asked after I pulled the door open and let him inside.
“Somewhat.”
“You painting?”
“No. Creating.”
“Creating what?”
“Why are you here?”
“Because you’ve been avoiding me all day, and I’m tired of the bullshit, Koi. I tried to catch up to you while you were in class, before and after classes, and then I showed up at the studio.”
“How did you find my apartment?”
He cast a beautiful smile my way, and those dimples twinkled. Everything that I had resolved earlier today began to crumble at his smile. He took steps toward me, and as I backed away, he grabbed me by the shoulders and stopped me.
“Chelsea. She understands that I mean you good. She knows that I would never hurt you and that you belong to me, woman. You need to understand that. Why have you been running from me, Koi?”
“I’m not running from you,” I answered, lowering my gaze to the floor.
Salem lifted my chin again. “That’s exactly what you’re doing, ma. I’m not the man that you run from, I’m the one you run to. The only one you should be running to.”
“I didn’t know what to think when you didn’t show up in class on Friday, and you did not answer any of my calls or text messages. The entire weekend rolled by, and not once did you reach out to me. I wasn’t sure what to feel or think, Salem.”
“What did I tell you when you were with me on Friday? I told you that my heart was all about you, and that I’m all about you. If some shit happens, rather than assuming the worst, give a nigga the benefit of the doubt.”
The tears sprouted in my eyes again, and I groaned. “I hate this. I’m such a big crybaby around you.” I sobbed.
“I think that’s just who you are, but I love that part of you, too, just like I love every part of you.”
“You love me?” My voice trembled, and my heart rejoiced as I stared at him in disbelief.
“Hell yeah, Koi. What the hell you think I’ve been trying to tell you?
This ain’t no game to me, ma. I told you that my feelings for you are real.
I didn’t just start feeling you when you showed up in that art class and saw ya boy naked.
I was feeling you from day one. All the back-and-forth we did with the debates, your guidance before and after class, that was just the setup for the big takedown. ”
“Takedown?”
“Yeah, my heart, baby,” he explained and grabbed my hand to place over his chest. I felt the beat of his heart, and I closed my eyes. It had a beautiful thump to it, and I was glad that it was full of love for me.
“Why didn’t you call me back or come to class?”
He sighed and explained, “I caught food poisoning from that taco shit you bought me Thursday night.”
“Oh nooo. Are you serious? I’m so sorry.”
I immediately felt bad and screwed up my face. I couldn’t believe that I was the cause of all this heartache between us, and here I was pushing him away further.
“Shit, I was too. I vomited the entire weekend until there wasn’t anything left in me. I had no energy, was weak as shit, and hungry at the same damn time.”
“Why didn’t you call me or answer my calls or texts?”
“My phone died, and I couldn’t find my charger. Then I lost my phone too. My mama was out of town and came to check on me when she got back in town. She set me straight though. Made me some soup and nursed me back to health.”
“I bet if she knew that I had given it to you, she would hate and blame me for making her son sick.”
“Nah, nothing like that. She knew who I got it from. She warned me to take care of you and your heart though.”
“You told your mama about me?”
“Yeah. Koi, I ain’t playing about you, baby.”
“Did you find your phone?”
“My mama found it in between the couch cushions while she was cleaning my house for me.”
“How did it get there?”
“By doing the same shit that I’m ’bout to do now. Getting up in that ass.”
Salem lifted me, and I locked my legs around his back. He sweetly brushed his lips over mine. I locked my arms behind his neck, and he untied my smock and lowered it. We kept kissing even as he lifted my T-shirt and fingered my nipples with his thumbs.
They hardened at his touch because they were so sensitive. I moaned at the sensation and pressed into his touch.
“Why don’t you show me what you were doing in this smock since you weren’t painting?” he muttered against my lips.
“Mkay. Walk to the back and take the first right.”
He carried me while I was still locked around him, still kissing him, and still feeling my pussy grow hot at just the contact between our two bodies.
We stepped into my art room, and Salem slowly pulled his lips from mine. His eyes lit up, and a smile slowly curved the outer corners of his lips.
“Baby, you did this shit?”
“Well, my work isn’t really shit,” I replied, turning in his arms to look around the room.
“Quit being so damn sensitive, girl. You know what I mean. But for real, this you, Koi?”
I nodded proudly as he took in the sculptures that I made, along with the long wall of pottery I crafted. “This is my first love. I have always been able to draw, and I’m getting better at painting, but pottery and sculpting are what make me happy.”
“Baby, you’re a fucking genius. Do you know how talented you are? Does Chelsea know this?”
I nodded. “She’s been trying to get me to do a showing for years.”
“You’ve got to, baby. You can quit the university and live your dreams.”
“You think I’m that good?”
“I think you’re just that amazing,” he replied and kissed me slowly but passionately.
This time, he lowered me to my feet, and I removed every item of clothing even as he removed his.
When we were completely naked, I led him to the other side of the room and grabbed some of my paints.
I opened a few different colors and began painting his body.
He held still while I applied the paint everywhere except for his dick.
I let him do the same to me, careful not to get the paint between my legs.
“Make love to me, Salem,” I asked after we finished.
He dropped his paintbrush, grabbed my face, and kissed the hell out of me. I literally buckled at the knees, but Salem caught me and lifted me again. This time, he lowered me onto the floor on my back. There was a drop cloth underneath me.
“I love you, Salem.”
“Not the way I love you, Pisces.”
“How do you determine when you call me Pisces versus Koi?” I asked, genuinely confused.
“They are two sides of the same woman. Koi is a runner, always swimming downstream seeking escapism from the reality of life and her feelings. She’s the focused professor.
Pisces is the creative, the one who never runs and isn’t afraid to give me her all.
She swims upstream, embracing spiritual enlightenment, overcoming obstacles, and is open to self-discovery.
Pisces and Koi are the same woman flowing in opposite directions, which is what keeps me intrigued. But I’m in love with ’em both.”
“Oh shit!” I cried out as Salem spread my legs, pressed his face into my core, and ate.
When he finally entered me, our bodies created a beautiful picture on our human canvas.
He shifted up and thrust deeper into me, swirling pink and blue.
My legs wrapped around his back, blending yellow, green, and orange.
Salem rose and shifted into me deeper, and my hands splayed over his chest, mixing my red with his black.
He pulsated inside of me, and I returned the sensation.
When we orgasmed, our bodies were sliding against each other, creating a masterpiece, and our cries were declarations of our love for each other.